Hi Queen Mary I
Welcome to the conversation. Let's get some facts straight. Charles and Camilla NEVER publically denegrated Diana. Charles made one public comment that he had become unfaithful in his marriage once the marriage was irrevocably broken. That's it - no pointing fingers, no assigning blame. At the time, the statement was criticized for hurting Diana, but Diana had already out-ed his affair with Andrew Morton's book. She knew well about the affair by then. Camilla has never publically spoken about Diana and I doubt she ever will. Most of what you hear about C&C's affair comes from Diana and being hurt like she was, she was hardly an objective observer. Diana made a conscious choice to expose the inner workings of her relationship with Charles; it was a mistake IMHO, because once she got over the hurt I don't think she would have wanted constant reminders (books, Panorama interview) of how she felt during that hurtful time.
You mention how Andrew never once spoke disparagingly of his wife. That is significant because Sarah cheated on him, yet unlike Diana if she had lived, Andrew has no Panorama interview pouring out his hurt and anger, no book he secretly collaborated on to show the world how unfaithful she really was. Andrew didn't go there so he doesn't have reminders of being hurt during that troubled time. He has far the most part recovered and maintained a good relationship with his children and the woman who cheated on him. That is the reason I think Diana shouldn't have gone the route she did.
Charles even took pains to shelter his children from his relationship to Camilla. Unlike many fathers, he didn't introduce his new love until the children were adults. In fact, in public, he showed respect to his wife.
As far as the affair itself, marriages get in trouble, the couples don't know how to fix them, and they reach out to someone outside of the marriage. Both Charles and Diana did it and for the same reasons. They couldn't figure out how to fix what had been broken and they still needed love and support. Occasionally the affairs end and the marriage gets back on track but the marriage needs a strong base to grow off of. Charles and Diana didn't have that strong base to work off of. Yes, we all would have liked a fairytale ending with Charles and Diana crowned King and Queen and riding off into the sunset but our fairytale is not worth the pain and suffering that both would have had to go through to give us that fairytale.
BTW, Elton John was one of the few true friends that Diana had in the last months in her life and he was true because he was willing to tell her things that she might not be willing to hear rather than the rest of the syncophants that just told her what she wanted to hear. True friends are loving AND honest and true friends let you know when you've gone too far. I cannot see where saying that Charles married the wrong woman is trash talking Diana. Charles and Diana were wholly unsuited for each other. That's not trash talking Diana or Charles, it makes them like all the other marriages that are entered into for the wrong reasons.