Should Camilla attend the memorial service for Diana?

[CasiraghiTrio]

I don't think it should matter whether or not Camilla attends. Making it matter detracts from the whole event. Either way, whether she goes or she makes an excuse at the last minute to duck out, I just wish no one would ever talk about it again. I couldn't care less if she goes or not because it boils down to a personal decision. I don't know what is appropriate or not; it's just impossible for me to judge, even though I'm sure there are plenty of people who have their own ideas of what is appropriate, and I leave it to them to make that decision! If it's appropriate for her to go I can't say. I guess I just leave it to trusting in those who are personally involved in it to know if it's right. I trust enough in the Princes William and Harry, in Prince Charles, in Camilla to make the decision, and I trust that whatever is their decision about it has a foundation of good reason. If it feels appropriate for them, whatever it is, I feel contented.

 

[Skydragon]

Damn. And she'd just had that "LOOK AT ME! I'M CAMILLA AND I'M AT DI-FEST 2007!!" t-shirt printed. Aint life a swine.

Before reading this, I'm glad I had the sense to pop to the loo! Brilliant BeatrixFan and if you are going to the memorial service, I hope you are going to be discreet and not draw attention to yourself. Although, I am not sure you should go, or perhaps you should, mmmmmm

 

[Duchess]

i think a memorial service is to remember the best of the person being remembered, not all the awful things that happened. if william and harry want camilla there then they should be commended for seeing beyond all the negative things that happened. from the looks of it, these two young men are more mature than a lot of others.

 

[Lady Marmalade]

That of course is a matter of opinion, not that I can think of one good thing she did for the UK, throughout this board there are divisions. Diana seemed to herald in the 'I'm a victim, pity me, tell all' culture. If she was still alive she would probably have been on Tricia or one of the other trashy tell all programmes.

She put a human face on the monarchy. She brought attention to AIDS/HIV patients before Elton and Liz did, She cared passionately and deeply about her charities and bringing attention to those causes. Sorry darling...not opinion...fact..

 

[BeatrixFan]

I'm afraid Princess Anne got there before Di. Sorry darling...not opinion...fact.

 

[sirhon11234]

Well it wasn't as extensive like Diana's work with AIDS/HIV.

 

[Elspeth]

And this all has to do with whether Camilla should be going to the memorial service because...?

 

[acdc1]

Back on topic, I'm pretty bad, I keep changing my views as I read different sides of the story. On one hand, it would be good for her to go because it shows that she, Charles, and the boys are all mature enough to leave the past as past and move on. But then again, everyone keeps saying "Well, if Diana were alive she would have moved on, that was ten years ago, blah blah blah." Well, Diana died ten years ago, and I don't know if she had moved on and forgiven Camilla or not. If she hadn't, how would she react when they married each other, or at this service? No one knows. She might be fine with it, or it may have infuriated her. But, as someone stated earlier, Diana wasn't on speaking terms with half of the people who are going to be at the service (including pretty much most of the Royal Family). And they'll be there. Diana's also dead, so she can't react! So, Camilla can do what I thought would be best at first, and honor Diana by not going. But you know, if she didn't go, it probably wouldn't really be because of honor Diana, but to save face for herself with the British people and press. If I was in the situation, I would be more concerned about my image with the people who for the most part I haven't always been their favorite person than for honoring someone I truly didn't get along with, even if it were my stepsons' late mother.) Or, which would probably be about as appropriate, she could go, sit with the family, but not draw attention to herself whatsoever. The less attention she gets, the better. I mean, the cameras will be on her, but she definately shouldn't wear that t-shirt that she had printed, no matter how funny it is. The press would have a heyday, and she would probably be Public Enemy #1.

 

[BeatrixFan]

And this all has to do with whether Camilla should be going to the memorial service because...?

Because it's quite possible that Camilla might be given a compliment or two so we have to ensure we all know how marvellous Diana was in every post to level things up.

 

[marmi]

Ok, well first off I'll admit that I haven't read the entire thread so apologies if I'm just repeating whats been said a million times before.

My feelings are conflicted:
a) she represents the royal family well these days etc and as such I feel that she has a place at any event which the royal family attends BUT

b) considering how awkward things were back then I would really have to pause to wonder whether Diana would want Camilla at a service dedicated to Diana.

Just my two cents

 

[MARG]

My feelings are conflicted:............BUT
b) considering how awkward things were back then I would really have to pause to wonder whether Diana would want Camilla at a service dedicated to Diana.

None of us can say what she would or wouldn't want, but to say that even she has moved on in these last 10 is an understatement!

 

[Elspeth]

Because it's quite possible that Camilla might be given a compliment or two so we have to ensure we all know how marvellous Diana was in every post to level things up.

I know what's going on. I'm asking why it's relevant to the thread topic.

Actually, what I'm really doing is asking for this tiresome "Diana perfect, Camilla evil!" "Camilla wonderful, Diana worthless!" partisan bickering to be dropped in favour of a more adult level of conversation. It's getting really annoying for every thread about Diana and/or Camilla to be dragged off topic by propagandists on both sides who apparently think the world will come to an end if they let a single negative comment against their particular champion slide past without putting up a spirited and apparently interminable defence. I've already had to delete one of these playground fights which started with a personal attack and degenerated from there, and I'd be really grateful if this stuff would stop. So would the other British forum moderators, by the way, who are about as fed up with it as I am.

 

[Madame Royale]

In the hope this post isn't removed for exhibiting one's support, the above, has to be the most sensible post in the whole thread! And really, one I believe to be quite overdue

 

[Skydragon]

It is rather silly when people say Diana wouldn't want this, Diana wouldn't want that etc.
Diana has no say in the matter, she is well and truly dead and has been for 10 years. Surely it is time to focus on the living and their wants and needs! If Diana wasn't dead, there would be no service of remembrance.

She put a human face on the monarchy

She almost destroyed it, is that something to be proud of?

The Daily Record - NEWS - News Feed - PRINCE CHARLES

PRINCE Charles apparently wants his current wife to accompany him to the memorial service for his first one. How sweet. But Camilla allegedly isn't too keen.

From the article......
Let her rest in peace in her coffin. After 10 years, we don't really need yet another Di-in

 

[Elspeth]

I'm not surprised she isn't too keen; I should think it's an absolute nightmare for her to contemplate having to go through, especially with certain elements of the press mischief-making for all they're worth. But if the Queen, Charles, and the princes think she should go, then I assume she'll go and will try to put the best possible face on it.

As for the other part of your comment, yes, she did a lot of damage to the monarchy. She also put a human face on it. Would it kill you to acknowledge that she wasn't 100% evil?

 

[xtan]

why should camilla be so afraid to go? afterall, since she dare to sleep with someone's husband, she should not be afraid to go to the ex-wife funeral

 

[milla Ca]

My wish ( for Camilla and for myself ): Let this day, let this memorial service pass!
( And on the 1st of September we can close this thread, i´m looking forward to it!)

 

[milla Ca]

why should camilla be so afraid to go? afterall, since she dare to sleep with someone's husband, she should not be afraid to go to the ex-wife funeral

There is NO funeral, we are talking about a memorial service!

 

[Elspeth]

why should camilla be so afraid to go? afterall, since she dare to sleep with someone's husband, she should not be afraid to go to the ex-wife funeral

I don't see how that follows. Are you suggesting that she should be looking forward to going to the service?

 

[susan alicia]

I do not think she will have many emotions about it, she will be there because she can not "not be there".
She might take a stiff bloody mary on beforehand though

 

[CasiraghiTrio]

I'm afraid Princess Anne got there before Di. Sorry darling...not opinion...fact.

I think you are wrong! About AIDS? No, no! Princess Anne in the eighties made the most ignorant comment about AIDS. I won't repeat it because it's off topic, but Anne did nothing for AIDS in the eighties! Anne ADDED to the ignorance if anything! I respect Anne, but come on, saying she was a pioneer against AIDS??!! Sorry, Diana did "get there first", as far as the royals are concerned. I am not a Di-worshipper, but I respect her and always try to give her credit where it's due, and here on aIDs, credit is due to Diana!

 

[bbb]

i have a feeling i'm not the only one who can't wait for this whole thing to be over! the boys try to honor their mother and instead all this ugliness is stirred up again, i'm sure it has brought them pain and stress and it's just a crying shame!

 

[jcbcode99]

Oh Dear....it seems like everytime I forget to check this thread something interesting is posted. I will freely admit I am in the Camilla camp, but I do believe that Diana did put a human face on the monarchy (albeit, at one point she seemed bent on destroying it in some ways). I also think that Diana really did manipulate the press and people quite well to her advantage--but to feel all alone and helpless I am sure she felt she had little other alternative. That being said, this memorial service is to remember her life (and our thread is certainly doing that!) and there was both good and bad, proper and improper in her life--as there is in all our lives. She did use her celebrity to bring a broader understanding and acceptance to AIDS, and she did lots of works in bringing about awareness of land mines--and yes, she had a good time, too. She was truly a unique person and the events and circumstances of her life created that persona that was ultimately "Diana". Even now she captivates our attention and our minds, and even our temperments (as evidenced by many, many, many threads on this site alone!). But I believe her to have been, above all things, human and prone to the same judgemental errors that we all are. I feel the same way about Camilla and Charles--the three of them made some bad choices along the way and they have all been demonized or declared saints--its kind of silly, really.
All that being said, the question put to us is "Should Camilla attend the service?" and as I have said from almost the beginning of the thread---if Diana's children have asked her to attend, then she should above all things (gasp--public opinion included!) graciously attend as their step-mother. Because, Camilla is no longer the adulturess in the Charles/Diana marriage--she is in fact the step-mother of the future King of England and his brother and the future consort of a King. Those are her roles now, and if being their stepmother means that she attends memorial services, then that is part of the overall package. Really, the whole situation is very cut and dry. She's been asked to attend by Diana's children, so she will attend--again, as their STEPMOTHER not as the third party in the marriage.

 

[avrilo]

I truly hope she will excuse her self and not attend.

 

[acdc1]

The sooner this is over, the better. No offense, but I'm ready for this thread to be closed. I didn't know that things were so bad with the Di-fans and Camilla-fans on the forums. I'm for neither, and even I get yelled at! It's kind of turned from the topic to a "Why Camilla is better than Diana ever was" or a "Camilla sucks, Diana changed Britain, she was the best" kind of thing. Interesting discussion about the topic, but some of is getting mean. If you're a Camilla fan, somebody who says that she shouldn't go to the thing offends you, and if you're a, what did someone call them, "Di-loon", then you're offended by anyone saying that Camilla should be there, and it changes to another Diana vs. Camilla/ mine is better than yours" kind of deal. I frankly don't care anymore whether she goes or not, as it's not my decision. It's not even Diana's decision!

 

[BeatrixFan]

I think it is fair to say that this thread was always going to offend someone. Why we need this thread at all is beyond me. She is going and that's the end of it, I personally don't see the need for a discussion which invites "No she shouldn't, she's an adulteress".

 

[jcbcode99]

Well said, Beatrix Fan. Perhaps it is time to end the thread. A harmonious agreement will never be reached.

 

[Elspeth]

I think it is fair to say that this thread was always going to offend someone. Why we need this thread at all is beyond me.

Because it asked a relevant question. Unfortunately some of the partisans derailed it into another Diana-versus-Camilla fight. There have been some interesting and thoughtful reasons given on both sides of the question of whether she should attend, as well as the usual tiresome bickering. If someone comes along with an opinion that Camilla shouldn't attend because she broke up the marriage, it isn't relevant to start on about how Diana deserved it anyway. The relevant issue is why Camilla's past should stop her attending a service that the Queen presumably has no objection to her attending.

 

[Madame Royale]

I will freely admit I am in the Camilla camp

To use your quote in a manner which is to be generically speaking (so as to make that clear)

Why there's a need to be a partisan to any camp seems plainly pointless and is truly, of such secondary value.

One would have to have been part of the dynamic which encompassed the situation to be able to give, at least, a 'reasonable' insight behind such a stance and given none of us here were, by any stretch of the imagination, included in (nor, personally effected by) their personal struggles it is such an obscure attitude and one which has never made sense to me.

Why do 'we' feel like that one, is/was more at fault than the other? What gives us the right, as complete strangers to these people, to formulate such an opinion of them? We don't/didn't know them and that's the bottom line.

'We' know so very little yet 'we' berate as if we know all...something's a miss there!

 

[Elspeth]

I think that's a question for another thread, if not for its own thread if you'd like to start one. It's clear that a lot of people, having read the various stories of the Charles-Diana marriage and, if they're old enough, followed Diana's career from her marriage through to her death, have opinions on Charles, Diana, and Camilla which tend to make them more sympathetic to one side or the other.