Should Camilla attend the memorial service for Diana?


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She can't replace Diana in their hearts, but Camilla will be standing next to Charles during these important events and it will be her that their children consider their grandmother because she will be there. It's not meant meanly, just as a matter of fact.

I don't think will encourage their future children to view or even call Camilla grandma. Diana is dead but she is still William and Harry's mother and she will be the grandmother of their children. Camilla will just be their step-grandmother. And if Diana was alive, Camilla would still be standing by Charles' side at these events Camilla on his right and Diana on his left.
 
Are you being serious? William and Harry's children will be barred from seeing her and calling her Grandma? Is it cold on your planet?
 
Who said anything about preventing William and Harry's children from seeing Camilla where in my comment did I say that?
And Camilla won't be their Grandma so why should they call her that?
 
I don't think will encourage their future children to view or even call Camilla grandma

Of course she'll be their Grandmother, step or not. I think if you ask people who have step family, they'd be quite insulted that you consider their relations to be strangers to them. I'm inclined to believe that you wouldn't feel this way if wasn't Camilla and Diana involved.
 
First off Camilla won't be a stranger to their children she is Charles' wife.
And personally I have a grandmother and a step-grandmother, I don't consider my step-grandmother to be my grandmother because she isn't my father's mother. It would be an insult towards my grandmother to call my step-grandmother "grandma" I call her nana out of respect for my step-grandmother and my grandmother.
So your inclination is wrong.
 
Poor woman...Everyone is ready to get her to pieces. It must be very hard for her to be in the current situation she is. Every signle thing she does is compared to Lady Diana. Duchess Camilla is herself, and lady Diana was Lady Diana. The trouble here is that Prince Charles loved Camilla, not her first wife. And the medias...Oh! The medias are always there ready to make money of everyone. They needs to speak: is their work. So, if Duchess Camilla does a thing, they attacks her, and if not they does the same thing. No way...:neutral:

i soooo agree with you vanessa, the poor woman has not a put a foot wrong (that i've noticed anyway) she's always kind and gracious and has stepped into a role with her own style and grace and still is cut to pieces BEFORE she even goes to the memorial. i came to this board a diana "faniac" and was surprised to find myself charmed by the duchess and now adore her. it's hard to not be happy for a couple so in love and devoted (they seem to have so much fun in their " own special world" ) she doesn't seem to need, seek, crave or gravitate to the center of attention so imo if she's there it will be to show respect and support her husband and stepsons.

if wills and harry are happy and want her there, i expect she will be respectful and dignified (its the press and some people i'm worried about, i'd be horrified if anyone booed her or caused any embarrassment to the princes

i'd like to think diana would have moved on and found happiness and so would be happy her boys to have a loving home(not palace) with supportive stepmum and step siblings and everyone would be getting along like grownups (you only need look on this forum for examples of royal couples doing whats best for the kids and being nice to each other after divorce) 10 years is a long time hopefully it will turn a page on the diana years (alto it will be interesting to see if there's a 20 year memorial service).

my thoughts on the grandmother thing only judging from my own family the children call their grandparents what the grandchildren before them does, so i'd imagine the princes children will call charles and camilla what camillas grandchildren (already on their way) calls them. i have no doubt the prince's children will consider camilla their grandmother, it is the who they will know her to be, after all she is married to their grandfather.
 
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I'm not a moderator but I think we're going a little nowhere on the subject of Grandma Camilla so let's stay on the question which is : "Should Camilla assist to the memorial of Diana?"

Thanks alot :flowers:
 
Of course she'll be their Grandmother, step or not. I think if you ask people who have step family, they'd be quite insulted that you consider their relations to be strangers to them. I'm inclined to believe that you wouldn't feel this way if wasn't Camilla and Diana involved.
As with most families, I make no distinction between my children and my step children, nor are there any differences between my grandchildren or my step grandchildren. My husband, children and grandchildren don't seem to make any distinction either.
bbb said:
..... the poor woman has not a put a foot wrong (that i've noticed anyway) she's always kind and gracious and has stepped into a role with her own style and grace and still is cut to pieces BEFORE she even goes to the memorial. i came to this board a diana "faniac" and was surprised to find myself charmed by the duchess and now adore her. it's hard to not be happy for a couple so in love and devoted (they seem to have so much fun in their " own special world" ) she doesn't seem to need, seek, crave or gravitate to the center of attention so imo if she's there it will be to show respect and support her husband and stepsons.
Lovely post bbb. :flowers:
 
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Madame Royale said it best

The Duchess of Cornwall, Charles' second wife, has been invited to the event in her capacity as the wife of the Prince of Wales, as is proper and right.

She should not attend, due to the many reasons stated previously on this site and others, by sane and reasonable parties (not frothing maniacs as some of the Duchess' equally rabid admirers pontificate.)

I agree with whoever said that she is damned if she does and damned if she doesn't. The best solution for her would be to stay home with a nice cuppa, and send an appropriate greeting. Perhaps a spray of flowers, perhaps a card. Perhaps a prayer or two for her predecessor.

Personally, I think a tremendous gesture on her part would be to take a piece of jewelry from the personal collection bestowed on her by the POW and offer it for auction - the proceeds going Diana of Wales' foundation.

And veering to the "Granny Camilla" sub-topic: my father's father remarried under circumstances remarkably similar to those experienced by this branch of the Royal Family. We never called my grandfather's second wife by any other name than her first name, Betty. We were not disrespectful to her, but we had exactly one paternal grandmother, who was laid in her grave in 1960. My grandfather's second wife (his partner in adultery) was not my grandmother, and not my father's mother.
 
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Regarding Camilla and her presence at the memorial service. In reading all of these posts, a familiar refrain was heard about Camilla's relationship with Diana and how she caused Diana so much pain and tragedy. We seem to have glossed over Charles' role in Diana's unhappiness, haven't we? Should he also not attend? If we're pinpointing who really made Diana miserable, then the real blame would have to Charles', don't you think? Camilla didn't make Diana miserable--Camilla was discreet and tried in the beginning to be a friend to the young princess. What made Diana miserable was that Charles did not love her as he loved Camilla --so if we're following the line of reasoning that whoever made Diana miserable should not be there, well, Charles should be at the head of the line.
However, Charles, as the father of the boys, will be there and in doing so honors Diana as an exceptional mother. Camilla is his wife, and they appear to have a very happy marriage. Secondly, Camilla is also the boys' stepmother (and they love her, they've said so themselves) and they have invited her to the event not as one of the senior members of the royal family, but as a member of their family. That is the bottom line, as I see it.
 
a rabid admirer pontificating

I agree with whoever said that she is damned if she does and damned if she doesn't. The best solution for her would be to stay home with a nice cuppa, and send an appropriate greeting. Perhaps a spray of flowers, perhaps a card. Perhaps a prayer or two for her predecessor.
Personally, I think a tremendous gesture on her part would be to take a piece of jewelry from the personal collection bestowed on her by the POW and offer it for auction - the proceeds going Diana of Wales' foundation.....
And veering to the "Granny Camilla" sub-topic: my father's father remarried under circumstances remarkably similar to those experience by this branch of the Royal Family. We never called my grandfather's second wife by any other name than her first name, Betty. We were not disrespectful, but we had exactly one paternal grandmother, who was laid in her grave in 1960. My grandfather's second wife (his partner in adultery) was not my grandmother, and not my father's mother
It's a memorial service, what on earth would she send a card for and to whom? The flowers will have been organised and arranged by the guards chapel and again, it is not something you would do for a memorial service.
Why does she need to make any gesture and again to who.

Lets hope your grandfathers wife had a bigger capacity of love for her husbands children and grandchildren, than they seem to have had.
 
The bottom line is that William and Harry, who know Camilla better than anyone on here and have more right to decide or comment, want and have asked their 'wonderful' stepmother to attend this event.


Unless of course they invited her because Charles asked them to and they are doing it to please their father. They can talk the party line about how "wonderful" she is in public because it makes Charles happy and they love their father, but actions speak louder than words and Harry's absence from her big 60th birthday bash speaks volumes to me. JMHO.
 
Regarding Camilla and her presence at the memorial service. In reading all of these posts, a familiar refrain was heard about Camilla's relationship with Diana and how she caused Diana so much pain and tragedy. We seem to have glossed over Charles' role in Diana's unhappiness, haven't we? Should he also not attend? If we're pinpointing who really made Diana miserable, then the real blame would have to Charles', don't you think? Camilla didn't make Diana miserable--Camilla was discreet and tried in the beginning to be a friend to the young princess. What made Diana miserable was that Charles did not love her as he loved Camilla --so if we're following the line of reasoning that whoever made Diana miserable should not be there, well, Charles should be at the head of the line.
However, Charles, as the father of the boys, will be there and in doing so honors Diana as an exceptional mother. Camilla is his wife, and they appear to have a very happy marriage. Secondly, Camilla is also the boys' stepmother (and they love her, they've said so themselves) and they have invited her to the event not as one of the senior members of the royal family, but as a member of their family. That is the bottom line, as I see it.
Now that, IMO, is a brilliant post! :clap:
 
OH, and the whole Grandma thing. . . I am a step-parent, and thusly, a step-grandmother to a beautiful three year old girl (she really is beautiful). My husband's ex-wife (the child's biological grandmother) is Grandma. I was very concerned about what the child would call me, and didn't want to offend anyone. Eventually, Morgan settled the quandry by simply calling me "Ma" because my own son calls me "Mama" and she just shortened it. The child will pick the title in many cases.
I would also like to say that problems and issues that arise between spouses who divorce and the subsequent involvement of their children in the issues and messiness involved (who must hate your father because I do!, You're mother is evil--you must hate her) should always be frowned upon. The grandchildren should not be used as tools to futher create problems by feeding off issues that had nothing to do with them. It is a juvenile way to behave. Let the child decide, and don't cloud the child's judgement with unnecessary previous history.
 
Regarding Camilla and her presence at the memorial service. In reading all of these posts, a familiar refrain was heard about Camilla's relationship with Diana and how she caused Diana so much pain and tragedy. We seem to have glossed over Charles' role in Diana's unhappiness, haven't we? Should he also not attend? If we're pinpointing who really made Diana miserable, then the real blame would have to Charles', don't you think?

Very right !

We know that the boys have invited her, so the question is quite closed, maybe we should change it a little :

Do you think it's wise for Camilla to attend this memorial ?

I mean by that, she's going but do you think it's wise for her ?
 
A rabid admirer pontificating? That's a very uncivil statement in what is supposed to be a civil board. I would have expected better.
 
Now that, IMO, is a brilliant post! :clap:

Why THANK YOU Skydragon! I always love reading your posts and hearing you compliment mine is a true honor--thank you!
 
Unless of course they invited her because Charles asked them to and they are doing it to please their father. They can talk the party line about how "wonderful" she is in public because it makes Charles happy and they love their father, but actions speak louder than words and Harry's absence from her big 60th birthday bash speaks volumes to me. JMHO.
He is in the army, his leave is limited and I am sure Camilla would have been the first to say, get your holiday with your girlfriend.

Harry wasn't towing the party line, when he told Sky and the beeb that they thought Camilla was wonderful. The questions had already been seen and approved and if Harry hadn't wanted to say anything like that, he wouldn't have approved the question that led to it.

As with most people, IWT, I have missed many birthday/anniversary parties because they clashed with my husbands leave and we were going away. Perhaps I should be upset that my son missed my birthday party because he was on leave from Afghanistan and went on holiday with his wife and my grandchildren! :rolleyes:
 
TheTruth---

I do think that is would be unwise for Camilla to not attend the service. I know there is a damned if she does, damned if she doesn't feeling about it (and rightly so). This is truly a Catch 22 situation. I think she should because to not do so looks furtive and cowardly, and history will remember her that way. In some ways, her appearance her will help define how history sees her--the woman who continued to admit guilt and stayed away amid public speculation and insulted her step-son's by not attending OR the Duchess who attended, at the request of the Princes', a strong and courageous lady who put the wishes of her family ahead of some die-hard fanatics public opinions. Frankly, I know that much be said either way, but if she goes it makes her look like a true family person, who will support her family no matter what. I cannot see her not going--she will be there.
 
A rabid admirer pontificating? That's a very uncivil statement in what is supposed to be a civil board. I would have expected better.
I suggest you take that up with
NotaPretender said:
not frothing maniacs as some of the Duchess' equally rabid admirers pontificate.)
post 70.
 
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they are just two polite young men who are doing what they should do and that is invite her. They will keep their feelings to themselves.
 
He is in the army, his leave is limited and I am sure Camilla would have been the first to say, get your holiday with your girlfriend.

Harry wasn't towing the party line, when he told Sky and the beeb that they thought Camilla was wonderful. The questions had already been seen and approved and if Harry hadn't wanted to say anything like that, he wouldn't have approved the question that led to it.

As with most people, IWT, I have missed many birthday/anniversary parties because they clashed with my husbands leave and we were going away. Perhaps I should be upset that my son missed my birthday party because he was on leave from Afghanistan and went on holiday with his wife and my grandchildren! :rolleyes:

Harry has already seen his girlfriend quite a bit this month, starting with the Concert for Diana appearance. It wouldn't matter what the questions said, I believe he is pleasing his father, not the media. It was made very clear that this was a big milestone party for Camilla, not just another birthday. These boys think nothing of flying halfway around the world for a weekend, he could have made the attempt if he wanted to. Let's face it, Harry is not on leave from serving in a war zone. He gets to see his friends and family quite frequently. I give him a lot of credit for fighting to be able to join his comrades as hard as he did, but he is not there and his leave cannot be compared to someone who is.
 
It was made very clear that this was a big milestone party for Camilla, not just another birthday.
It was a small birthday party, not a huge 'milestone party. The BIG celebration was for her 50th. Charles and Camilla will, IMO, have been like any loving parents and told him to take his holiday with the love of his life, who they were unable to invite.

When we went away, Mr S hadn't just returned from a war zone either, it was when he was able to take leave. Nobody knows when Harry might be sent to a war zone, just because he didn't go to Iraq.

It's rude no matter who says it.
Why, if I choose to call myself a name, even though it was meant as an insult when NotaPretender posted it,
NotaPretender said:
not frothing maniacs as some of the Duchess' equally rabid admirers pontificate.)
Surely that is the statement more worthy of your complaint
 
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It was a small birthday party, not a huge 'milestone party. The BIG celebration was for her 50th. Charles and Camilla will, IMO, have been like any loving parents and told him to take his holiday with the love of his life, who they were unable to invite.

When we went away, Mr S hadn't just returned from a war zone either, it was when he was able to take leave. Nobody knows when Harry might be sent to a war zone, just because he didn't go to Iraq.

Why, if I choose to call myself a name, even though it was meant as an insult when NotaPretender posted it, why should it offend you?

Wow! 200 is small? You must have some amazing birthday parties at your house. Especially if you can wear the za za zing diamonds that Camilla sported at hers. I wasn't offended personally, I can hold my own. I feel bad for the newbies who may be too shy to post because of mud that gets thrown around like that. But we are getting way off topic.
 
Why is there a need, particularly in the British subforums, to illustrate a degree of personal specifics to the extent some do?

As both a contributor and reader of the discussed material, I don't come here to find out bits and pieces about the private lives of fellow board members in a thread that is dedicated to a specific topic.

Things normally turn relatively offensive when members allow themselves to make the situation more personal than it needs to be.

Grandmothers, party's, specified leave from the armed services...that's all well and good but theres an area for such conversations and it can be found at the bottom of the board in the members general section :flowers:
 
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I don't come here to find out bits and pieces about the private lives of fellow board members in a thread that is dedicated to a specific topic.
Things normally turn relatively offensive when members allow themselves to make the situation more personal than it needs to be.
Grandmothers, party's, specified leave from the armed services...that's all well and good but theres an area for such conversations and it can be found at the bottom of the board in the members general section
All pertinent to the discussion that was ongoing. :rolleyes: The party being referred to was Camillas 60th. :rolleyes:
 
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All "pertinent" to a discussion strayed from the original topic more like it!
No, a poster thought Harry not being at Camilla's party gave substance to the belief that William and Harry only invited Camilla because their father asked them to. That by not being at the 60th party, it showed Harry had lied when he said Camilla was wonderful, which obviously led on to why Harry wasn't there. :rolleyes:

As some posts clearly 'upset' you, you could always try using the ignore poster option!
 
You sure like that little face don't you.lol.

Thanks for your reply, I appreciate it...:)
 
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