Charles and Camilla: The Marriage (2005 and on)


If you have answers, please help by responding to the unanswered posts.
Yeah, I agree that Camilla was really in love with APB. For whatever reason, APB was quite the "catch" as even Princess Anne had a crush on him. He was handsome, sporty, and wealthy. Maybe the young Camilla thought it was fun to see where things could go with the Prince, but she was stuck under the APB spell. From the Dimbleby bio, I had the impression that Charles was struck by Camilla from the word go, but he wasn't sure she was "the one" yet. In any case, he had his honorary grandfather telling him to "sow his wild oats".
Well, in the meantime, Camilla was crazy for APB and when he proposed she bit the bait. She could have no idea what Charles would do; he was in the navy, dating these other women, so how could she wait for him even if she wanted to?
 
I don't think it was that simple. They were much younger and at different stages of their lives, and Camilla was older than Charles and had different wants. She wanted to be married, and he wasn't read for that yet.



I certainly agree that Charles should never have married Diana, as they were so ill-suited. They were both unhappy for so long and Diana never had the opportunity to know the sort of contentment and love and mutual support that Charles & Camilla now have. I think it's very sad that Diana never had that happiness.



Hear, hear! I consider that the institution does need to evolve at a faster rate than it has, but I think that was unlikely to happen under the very long reign of conservative traditionalist HM Elizabeth II. She has been much loved and respected for doing things exactly the way she has done them.

What evidence is there that Prince Charles wasn't ready to marry in 1973? What evidence there is points in the opposite direction. According to Jonathan Dimbleby (who has read the letters) the last letter that Charles wrote to Mountbatten in November 1972 before setting off on his over 8 month naval tour of duty talked of how he was intending to see Camilla on his return. i.e he was intending to introduce Camilla to the Queen for the first time at Balmoral in August 1973. But by then she had been married for a month. Besides which if Charles was so uninterested in marriage how come barely a year after November 1972 he was tentatively asking Lady Jane Wellesley (the Queen's approved candidate) whether she might marry him and being turned down?

What has always puzzled me is why when Andrew Parker Bowles started courting Camilla again (after dumping her some while before) Camilla never wrote to Charles to tell him. He supposedly 'discovered' about the engagement when reading the Times whilst on shore leave in one of the Caribbean ports. Which is why he was so upset. Of course we should remember that there was no satellite or mobile phone coverage at the time, so they could only keep in contact by letters sent via Buckingham Palace. But either Camilla never wrote Prince Charles a letter, which seems a rather offhand way to treat a prince, or she did and the Palace failed to pass it on.
 
What has always puzzled me is why when Andrew Parker Bowles started courting Camilla again (after dumping her some while before) Camilla never wrote to Charles to tell him. He supposedly 'discovered' about the engagement when reading the Times whilst on shore leave in one of the Caribbean ports. Which is why he was so upset... But either Camilla never wrote Prince Charles a letter, which seems a rather offhand way to treat a prince, or she did and the Palace failed to pass it on.

Why do you know? Did Charles or Camilla ever speak about it?
 
According to her post, it was because of reports that Charles discovered about the engagement when reading The Times. Maybe BellaFay will be able to tell us where she found that information, but it does sound as though she's based her statement on something concrete.
 
I am confused about the timing you mentioned. I think Camilla first met Charles in 1971. Quoted by Charles himself they were introduced by Lucia Santa Cruz, his Cambridge girlfriend, but it seemed that Camilla and Charles did not start their courtship until 1972 summer. I think the hot affair probably started from the night club Annable when Andrew PB were posted to Germany which gave Camilla time and space to explore new relationships. I believe it was the case of "out of sight, out of mind".

IMO Camilla waited for Andrew PB to settle down for a long time, if Andrew PB did not marry her in 1973, she would have married someone else to ensure that she would set up her own family as soon as possbile. The idea of "marriage" was definately in Camilla's mind for a long time but she fell into love with Andrew PB and Prince Charles, thus she was in quite tricky situations. Actually I always wonder how Camilla can get herself into this? Luckily, the timing for Charles and Camilla is finally right and then they got married.

The book uses the date of October 1972 that the star crossed lovers met.
 
What evidence is there that Prince Charles wasn't ready to marry in 1973? What evidence there is points in the opposite direction.

on the contrary, most evidence points to the fact that charles wasn't interested in marriage. his uncle was more interested in seeing him marry and wanted it to be his granddaughter. other courtiers were pushing him to get on with it.

part of me also feels that charles and camilla would be quite happy to live together out of wedlock today except that for all that happened in the past.
 
Well, maybe Prince Charles fell in love with Camilla before she returned the feeling. I mean, she sure seems to have been enamored by Andrew. She married him when she got her big chance, and she had been pursuing him and waiting for him and trying to lure him by making him jealous. These are pretty tell-tale signs of love or infatuation or something like it, whatever love means. :) And she had a family with him. But maybe after they had tom and Laura, their marriage hit a bump and she found a willing companion in Charles. He adored her and treated her like a queen and it must have felt very nice to be the object of that kind of adoration again.
 
i'm sure she did love andrew. anything i've read (and of course we can never know if it's all true) says that he had many affairs but this could be because he knew of the feelings/relationship between camilla and charles and that this was the "understanding" they had.
 
I would be very interested in finding out how the rest of the Royal Family feels about it's newest member. I think the Queen was quite kind in giving Camilla an engagement ring that was four times more valuable than the one Diana chose and perhaps there are several reasons for that? I have never heard how the siblings feel about Camilla or Prince Philip? Are Camilla's children from her first marriage included in any of the Royal Family gatherings? I was thinking specifically about their Summer holiday at Balmoral and then at Christmas?
 
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i don't believe HM or other members have ever spoken publicly about their feelings but it's been reported that HM is "accepting" of the marriage.
 
Tom & Laura are close to Prince Charles, but Tom said recently that he doesn't interact much with the other royals, least of all The Queen, whom he described as being, well, to put it as he did, "she is The Queen." :D
I think he meant that while he and Laura can never be said to be on intimate terms with The Queen, they are nevertheless awed by "the Presence" (my words) and they respect her of course. Tom & Laura have been to Birkhall many times as guests of their stepfather. About Sandringham, I don't know.
I imagine that Tom & Laura know Princess Anne fairly well because she is such a close friend of their father since the 1970s.
 
I would be very interested in finding out how the rest of the Royal Family feels about it's newest member. I think the Queen was quite kind in giving Camilla an engagement ring that was four times more valuable than the one Diana chose and perhaps there are several reasons for that? I have never heard how the siblings feel about Camilla or Prince Philip? Are Camilla's children from her first marriage included in any of the Royal Family gatherings? I was thinking specifically about their Summer holiday at Balmoral and then at Christmas?
I was under the impression that Camilla's engagement ring belonged to QEQM, and was left to PoW at her death, no?
 
I was under the impression that Camilla's engagement ring belonged to QEQM, and was left to PoW at her death, no?


Camilla's engagement ring had belonged to the Queen Mother Queen Elizabeth, this was announced at Charles and Camilla's engagement. But to avoid paying huge inheritance taxes, the Queen inherited all her mother's jewellery. ( From monarch to monarch there's no inheritance tax) Charles didn't inherit anything from his grandmother ( the Castle of Mey he received as a gift, long before she died. There's a 7 year rule in the UK if something is gifted 7 or more years from when the owner dies then there's no inheritance tax to be paid) So it could be that Charles received some of his grandmother's jewellery as gifts long before she died. Or more likely all the jewellery was inherited by the Queen and she passed on pieces to Charles, including the ring that is now Camilla's engagement ring.
 
I could easily be wrong, I thought I read somewhere that HM gave Camilla that ring? I will certainly defer to others who are more knowledgeable about the situation.
 
But maybe after they had tom and Laura, their marriage hit a bump and she found a willing companion in Charles. He adored her and treated her like a queen and it must have felt very nice to be the object of that kind of adoration again.
Perhaps they were just very good friends and over the years it grew into the strong and steady love we see now.

Most young men back in the 70's were not that interested in marriage at 23, especially if young attractive women were throwing themselves at them. Women on the other hand seemed to believe they were 'old maids' if they were not married by the time they were 23+.
 
I could easily be wrong, I thought I read somewhere that HM gave Camilla that ring? I will certainly defer to others who are more knowledgeable about the situation.

It can easily be misconveyed, as a report can say something like "from Her Majesty's collection" and you can take this to mean that The Queen "gave" the ring to Camilla. But of course, closer inspection would reveal that "Her Majesty" referred to "HM Queen Elizabeth the Queen Mother". But see on the above link to Camilla's jewels. You will learn more for the jewelry experts. They know their jewelry, believe me, and I can hardly tell the difference between a diamond and a kunzite. :D
 
According to her post, it was because of reports that Charles discovered about the engagement when reading The Times. Maybe BellaFay will be able to tell us where she found that information, but it does sound as though she's based her statement on something concrete.

According to Jonathan Dimbleby Prince Charles "had just learned that" (p.191) Camilla had got engaged to APB whilst he was on shore leave in Antigua. Dimbleby does not footnote any letter for the Prince's discovery. The story about reading it in the Times came I think from an interview with either Dimbleby or Nigel Dempster at the time that Dimbleby's book was published. Certainly Charles discovered about the engagement sometime between 22/23 April, when his Naval Journal makes no mention of it and the 27 April when he writes a letter quoted by Dimbleby in which he comments that the most "blissful, peaceful and mutually happy relationship" with Camilla had only lasted 6 months and that he has "no-one" to go back to. As according to the Times Court Circular Charles left England on his naval tour on 1st December 1972 this suggests that his relationship with Camilla started in May/June 1972 when he was on a course at the Navy's Communications School, HMS Mercury in Petersfield, Hampshire only 5 miles from Camilla's grandmother's house, where according to Christopher Wilson they used to meet, and not far from Midhurst pologround in Sussex.

According to an entry in Woodrow Wyatt's final diary (published 1998?) there is even a suggestion that Camilla was not expecting APB's proposal. Wyatt (a horseracing friend of the Queen Mother's) was told by a male member of the Bowes-Lyon family that the announcement of Camilla's engagement in the Times was made without her foreknowledge. I know this sounds bizarre, but I can't see why Wyatt would have made it up. As for the 'understanding' between Camilla and APB being based on her supposedly having an affair with the Prince from the beginning of her marriage, this would seem unlikely as Charles did not leave the Navy until the autumn of 1976 and it's very difficult to keep up a physical relationship if one party is off the coast of Japan and the other is in mid Gloucestershire. :lol:

As for Mountbatten's desire to marry Charles to his grandaughter that was a much later project. In 1972/3 she was only about 16 I think.
 
According to an entry in Woodrow Wyatt's final diary (published 1998?) there is even a suggestion that Camilla was not expecting APB's proposal. Wyatt (a horseracing friend of the Queen Mother's) was told by a male member of the Bowes-Lyon family that the announcement of Camilla's engagement in the Times was made without her foreknowledge. I know this sounds bizarre, but I can't see why Wyatt would have made it up. As for the 'understanding' between Camilla and APB being based on her supposedly having an affair with the Prince from the beginning of her marriage, this would seem unlikely as Charles did not leave the Navy until the autumn of 1976 and it's very difficult to keep up a physical relationship if one party is off the coast of Japan and the other is in mid Gloucestershire. :lol:

thanks for listing the original source about "Camilla's bizarre engagment news on the Times" from Tina Brown's book about Diana: she wrote that Andrew PB told John Bowes-Lyon that Camilla's parents published the announcement and Johh Bowes-Lyon observed that Andrew PB was not that interested in marrying Camilla.I think this was an act out of love by Camilla's parents to force Andrew to commit himself to Camilla and gave him no time of wasting Camilla's life for waiting for him. I believe that Camilla loved Andrew at that time but she had feelings for Charles at the same time, but since forming a family was more important for her and she would accept Andrew's hand without any doubt once he made up his mind to marry her. It was quite dramatic, isn't ? It was said that Major Shand talked to Prince Charles several months befor he proposed to Camilla formally to tell him his position on that matter, he think Charles should make a honest woman of Camilla. It is really interesting to see how Major Shand act as a loving father but using steelful and effective strategy to ensure Camilla's happiness.

I think Lord Mountbatten's granddaughter was 15 in 1973. After receiving the famous letter of "marrying a sweet-character girl letter" on Valentine Day of 1974, Charles wrote to Amanda's parents to ask the permission to court their daughter but they asked Charles to wait until Amanda to grow up more and let herself make the choice. I think the problem for Charles would never marry without Lord Mountbatten's permission, QEQM's permission and Queen's approval, but they wanted Charles's happiness but they wanted their own favourite candiates to succeed. There were reports said that Charles's friends said that it was Lord Mountbatten who played an important role to change the event in 1972. It could be very true because Charles listend to him about love and marriage then he delayed to propose to Camilla and on the other hand Lord Mountbatten invited Camilla to broadland twice at before the christmas of 1972. It is only Camilla who knew what really happened during the weekened and what can happen afterwards. Charles- Camilla- Andrew - Anne is a much interesting love triangle for me. I often wonder what if Andrew PB were not a roman Cathelic and how it turned out? Probably Andrew married Anne at the first place and gave Charles some longer time to make up his own mind about Camilla at least he may fight for his feeling before he had no choice but to accept the fact" the groom is not me""

Charles and Camilla are soulmates and I think it is exactly the nature why their love have caused so many pains.In perfect world they should have get married straight ahead but in an imperfect world, their love needs to overcome great obstacles to succeed. It is the way of their twist of fates driven to unknown.
 
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I believe that Camilla loved Andrew at that time but she had feelings for Charles at the same time, but since forming a family was more important for her and she would accept Andrew's hand without any doubt once he made up his mind to marry her.

I wonder if Andrew Parker Bowles and Camilla Shand would have been considered suitable for the heir of the throne and his sister? Was there really a choice form the POV of the people involved?
 
The consensus always seems to imply there was some kind of social prejudice or snobbery involved, that Camilla was "just not high-born enough" or that Andrew was just not suitable being Roman Catholic. I've never been sure if I completely buy these arguments, though. While I'm sure the Roman Catholic thing was always a barrier to APB marrying Anne, I don't know that I believe the "Camilla was just good mistress material" argument. It just doesn't make a lot of sense to me, but I consider that my POV is limited by not fully understanding the rationale of these matters in the time period. The modern POV must be different from the POV of the early 70s because the common argument implies Camilla "was not good enough" then, yet she is "good enough" now to be royal.
 
As for Mountbatten's desire to marry Charles to his grandaughter that was a much later project. In 1972/3 she was only about 16 I think.

she was young but mountbatten had a strong desire to see charles marry his granddaughter. i believe he did propose at one point but she declined because she knew what that life would be like.:flowers:
 
I don't know that I believe the "Camilla was just good mistress material" argument. It just doesn't make a lot of sense to me, but I consider that my POV is limited by not fully understanding the rationale of these matters in the time period. The modern POV must be different from the POV of the early 70s because the common argument implies Camilla "was not good enough" then, yet she is "good enough" now to be royal.

I think you underrate the change of times. I believe that it´s fact that 30 years ago the heir to the throne couldn´t marry a woman who wasn´t a virgin. So i think Camilla Shand was not accepted to be more than ´mistress material´ for the people who were close to the young Prince.
 
but I consider that my POV is limited by not fully understanding the rationale of these matters in the time period. The modern POV must be different from the POV of the early 70s because the common argument implies Camilla "was not good enough" then, yet she is "good enough" now to be royal.
Times really have changed, back then parents and even grandparents went to a great deal of trouble to ensure that friends of either sex were suitable. Those that may have been considered suitable friends were not always considered suitable spouses, many times it was to advance or strengthen one or other of the families, (whether the couple got on or not). It would have taken an exceptionally strong character to marry a suitable as a friend person, set against someone the parents/grandparents/relatives considered suitable as a husband/wife.

How I hate the word suitable! :ROFLMAO:
 
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Times really have changed, back then parents and even grandparents went to a great deal of trouble to ensure that friends of either sex were suitable. Those that may have been considered suitable friends were not always considered suitable spouses, many times it was to advance or strengthen one or other of the families, (whether the couple got on or not). It would have taken an exceptionally strong character to marry a suitable as a friend person, set against someone the parents/grandparents/relatives considered suitable as a husband/wife.

How I hate the word suitable! :ROFLMAO:

What happened when one of the young people simply said "no" to going along with the program? I am well aware that American and English societies do and certainly did have difference, but I feel confident that there were those back then who simply were not willing to allow "custom and tradition" to rule their life. What practical penalty was imposed? Not being invited to the proper social function / dinner / ball / tea?

I would NEVER allow my family to dictate my life and choices as an adult and I have not. I dated and married as I pleased and to whom I pleased.
 
thanks for listing the original source about "Camilla's bizarre engagment news on the Times" from Tina Brown's book about Diana: she wrote that Andrew PB told John Bowes-Lyon that Camilla's parents published the announcement and Johh Bowes-Lyon observed that Andrew PB was not that interested in marrying Camilla.I think this was an act out of love by Camilla's parents to force Andrew to commit himself to Camilla and gave him no time of wasting Camilla's life for waiting for him. I believe that Camilla loved Andrew at that time but she had feelings for Charles at the same time, but since forming a family was more important for her and she would accept Andrew's hand without any doubt once he made up his mind to marry her. It was quite dramatic, isn't ? It was said that Major Shand talked to Prince Charles several months befor he proposed to Camilla formally to tell him his position on that matter, he think Charles should make a honest woman of Camilla. It is really interesting to see how Major Shand act as a loving father but using steelful and effective strategy to ensure Camilla's happiness.

I think Lord Mountbatten's granddaughter was 15 in 1973. After receiving the famous letter of "marrying a sweet-character girl letter" on Valentine Day of 1974, Charles wrote to Amanda's parents to ask the permission to court their daughter but they asked Charles to wait until Amanda to grow up more and let herself make the choice. I think the problem for Charles would never marry without Lord Mountbatten's permission, QEQM's permission and Queen's approval, but they wanted Charles's happiness but they wanted their own favourite candiates to succeed. There were reports said that Charles's friends said that it was Lord Mountbatten who played an important role to change the event in 1972. It could be very true because Charles listend to him about love and marriage then he delayed to propose to Camilla and on the other hand Lord Mountbatten invited Camilla to broadland twice at before the christmas of 1972. It is only Camilla who knew what really happened during the weekened and what can happen afterwards. Charles- Camilla- Andrew - Anne is a much interesting love triangle for me. I often wonder what if Andrew PB were not a roman Cathelic and how it turned out? Probably Andrew married Anne at the first place and gave Charles some longer time to make up his own mind about Camilla at least he may fight for his feeling before he had no choice but to accept the fact" the groom is not me""

Charles and Camilla are soulmates and I think it is exactly the nature why their love have caused so many pains.In perfect world they should have get married straight ahead but in an imperfect world, their love needs to overcome great obstacles to succeed. It is the way of their twist of fates driven to unknown.


Thank you for posting Tina Brown's confirmation of the fact that Camilla's marriage to APB was also arranged. It still seems a pity that both the Shand and the Royal families couldn't have waited a few months to allow Charles to return and introduce Camilla to the Queen at Balmoral in August 1973. He couldn't legally ask for her hand in November 1972 because he was only 24 and under the Royal Marriage Act of 1772 as amended at the Queen's request in 1956 he couldn't get engaged or marry without the Queen's permission until he was 25. Even aged 25 he would still have needed the permission of Parliament if he had wanted to marry without the Queen's permission, that only changed when the European Human Rights Act was incorporated into British law in October 2000. It seems to me that everybody would have been better off if the Queen and Mountbatten had not interfered & instead allowed Prince Charles to continue his relationship with Camilla in 1973. His behaviour towards Lady Jane Wellesley in 1973/4 would suggest that he was all too eager to get married and have a family not that he was postponing his wedding day.
 
I would be very interested in finding out how the rest of the Royal Family feels about it's newest member. I think the Queen was quite kind in giving Camilla an engagement ring that was four times more valuable than the one Diana chose and perhaps there are several reasons for that? I have never heard how the siblings feel about Camilla or Prince Philip? Are Camilla's children from her first marriage included in any of the Royal Family gatherings? I was thinking specifically about their Summer holiday at Balmoral and then at Christmas?

I think the answer to this question lies in Tom PB's joky story that he told the New York Times(?) that at the wedding the whole PB/Shand family had the doors of St George's Chapel closed in their faces preventing them coming out on the steps to join the happy couple and the Queen and her family for a a photo-opp for the press - at least that was what was planned according to the media pack on Prince Charles's website. As for Christmas time since his marriage to Camilla they spend barely 24hours at Sandringham (Christmas Eve to Christmas lunch) before either going back to Highgrove or on to Birkhall for Scottish Hogmanay celebrations.
 
What happened when one of the young people simply said "no" to going along with the program? I am well aware that American and English societies do and certainly did have difference, but I feel confident that there were those back then who simply were not willing to allow "custom and tradition" to rule their life. What practical penalty was imposed? Not being invited to the proper social function / dinner / ball / tea?

I would NEVER allow my family to dictate my life and choices as an adult and I have not. I dated and married as I pleased and to whom I pleased.

I dare to assume that invitations to the proper social functions/dinners/balls/ teas still remain important to a fair number of English people. Thus, customs and traditions tend to govern the life to a certain extent.
 
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I dare to assume that invitations to the proper social functions/dinners/balls/ teas still remain important to a fair number of English people. Thus, customs and traditions do govern the life.

I think there is a difference between according something an "Importance" in one's life and "do govern a life".

I have to confess I'm really curious about how life is in Kazachstan at the moment, as we do have a lot of Russian-Germans from Kazachstan here and none as yet reported about a rather "Ancien Régime" kind of lifestyle there - which is the image you bring here.

Okay, there are different kind of people anywhere but still...
 
What happened when one of the young people simply said "no" to going along with the program? I am well aware that American and English societies do and certainly did have difference, but I feel confident that there were those back then who simply were not willing to allow "custom and tradition" to rule their life. What practical penalty was imposed? Not being invited to the proper social function / dinner / ball / tea?
It could vary. Having your allowance stopped, therefore removing your social status was one of the options. Friends willing to house and feed you would soon dry up. Being stopped from having any contact with your family, (parents, siblings, Grandparents etc) and friends willing to go against their parents, it is amazing how 'alone' you can be made to feel. Employment options could be stopped by a phone call, everyone knew someone who could 'have a word'.

Social functions/dinners/balls etc would not come into it. :flowers:

There were probably many who defied custom and tradition, unfortunately many of them discovered that mummy and daddy were right. :D
 
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