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  #801  
Old 01-02-2012, 02:37 AM
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Yes, it's impossible to totally have "one's own space" while living inside a house that another person is in charge of. It really requires that each person have their own house/staff/command of residence.

One could arrange one's large house so that it had dual staff and so on, but it is very nice to truly have one's own space.
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  #802  
Old 01-02-2012, 03:09 AM
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No I suggesting that anyone who lives in such huge houses does not need ANOTHER one to have alone time. They could live in one place and not see each for weeks if they didn't want to.
Well, they could but that's not what they have chosen to do - so why should it be such an issue for you? I ask because I'm just curious. You say you're not suggesting there is anything amiss with their relationship.

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Living together in one place is good enough for the Queen and Prince Phillip. God save us when she goes and we have this spoiled pair on the Throne.
You make this an issue of virtue, seems like. You have a criteria for how wealthy people should choose to live their lives. How do you know that is the case for the Queen and Philip? You are making assumptions. A certain decorum seems to hold for the Queen so that her personal life is not scrutinized or questioned.

Charles and Camilla spoiled? Well, they are wealthy and wealth means that they can make their wishes reality - as can the Queen and Philip - even though we may not be aware of their personal arrangements. Wealthy people have the where-withal to make any arrangements they like. Truth to say, having my own house would always be an attractive option. Does that make me suspect? Or my relationship suspect? Or make me spoiled?
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  #803  
Old 01-02-2012, 03:18 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tyger

Well, they could but that's not what they have chosen to do - so why should it be such an issue for you? I ask because I'm just curious. You say you're not suggesting there is anything amiss with their relationship.

You make this an issue of virtue, seems like. You have a criteria for how wealthy people should choose to live their lives. How do you know that is the case for the Queen and Philip? You are making assumptions. A certain decorum seems to hold for the Queen so that her personal life is not scrutinized or questioned.

Charles and Camilla spoiled? Well, they are wealthy and wealth means that they can make their wishes reality - as can the Queen and Philip - even though we may not be aware of their personal arrangements. Wealthy people have the where-withal to make any arrangements they like. Truth to say, having my own house would always be an attractive option. Does that make me suspect? Or my relationship suspect? Or make me spoiled?
I was commenting on a post saying she needed another house to have alone time which is completely wrong in MO. Nobody needs another house to have alone time , to live separately yes you do. And I'm not commenting on you or your marriage.
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  #804  
Old 01-02-2012, 03:34 AM
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Thank you I now understand why they had a civil marriage
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  #805  
Old 01-02-2012, 03:35 AM
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I was commenting on a post saying she needed another house to have alone time which is completely wrong in MO. Nobody needs another house to have alone time, to live separately yes you do.
So you don't like it - or its out of your sphere of experience perhaps? - but because that is the case it does not mean its 'wrong'.

My friend's husband who is a writer feels he does 'need' a separate place where he writes - if he didn't have the cottage he wouldn't be able to work (write) - he feels. My friend - his wife - prefers not to be around him in his creative mode.

I think your point is that you believe that Charles and Camilla are 'living separately' because they have their own houses. You've made that link - but it is not necessarily the description of what Charles and Camilla are doing. I think that's what many of us are suggesting.
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  #806  
Old 01-02-2012, 03:40 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tyger

So you don't like it - or its out of your sphere of experience perhaps? - but because that is the case it does not mean its 'wrong'.

My friend's husband who is a writer feels he does 'need' a separate place where he writes - if he didn't have the cottage he wouldn't be able to work (write) - he feels. My friend - his wife - prefers not to be around him in his creative mode.

I think your point is that you believe that Charles and Camilla are 'living separately' because they have their own houses. You've made that link - but it is not necessarily the description of what Charles and Camilla are doing. I think that's what many of us are suggesting.
Well lets call it separate living on occasion and not alone time then we should all be happy
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  #807  
Old 01-02-2012, 05:04 AM
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I fully understand Camilla retaining her own house and wanting to spend some time there occasionally, or even regularly, and I don't think the fact she does is an indication of anything other than that she wants to, can, and does. I certainly do not take it as an indication that she and Charles are living separately. As I just see it as their life together including her having space that is hers and not hers only because she is Charles' wife.

For more than half a century Camilla lived a relatively normal and relatively private life and she has children and grandchildren from that life with whom she wants to live as normal a life as she can in her changed circumstances. I suspect that having a home that is her own, where she has the final say in who visits, what is done, what is eaten, etc., and which is not crawling with servants and courtiers so she can do and eat and entertain, etc., in relative privacy, allows her to feel she still has some control over her life. I have no trouble at all with that concept; in the circumstances it seems perfectly reasonable to me. She gave up a lot to marry Charles.
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  #808  
Old 01-02-2012, 05:40 AM
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Excellent, Roslyn. I do believe that it has to be easier for both Camilla herself and her children/grandchildren to spend time together at her house rather than at one of the homes she shares with (and because of) Charles. Can you just imagine the inconvenience and embarrassment involved in needing to get permission to visit your Mother at her residence? I, personally, would much rather meet her in a private home that she owned. I am quite certain that her family's level of comfort has a bit to do with why she retains and occasionally stays at her house. But then, that's just my take.
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  #809  
Old 01-02-2012, 09:15 AM
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Another aspect if I remember what I read correctly is that one of Charles' idiosyncrasies is that everything be exactly where it belongs and everything spic and span. He's a perfectionist. This is where Camilla very much differs from her husband as she is reputed to be less fussy and one could imagine her with her grandchildren in the kitchen making cookies and making a big mess of it to boot. She doesn't have to worry about little kids and sticky fingers and a loud rip roaring game of hide and go seek disturbing the peace of Highgrove. Ray Mill most likely is a more relaxed atmosphere totally away from royal life and Camilla can truck through the house in her muddy boots should she want to.

It works for them and they both seem very extremely happy together and in my book that's really all that matters.
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  #810  
Old 01-02-2012, 07:24 PM
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It works for them and they both seem very extremely happy together and in my book that's really all that matters.
I totally agree.
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  #811  
Old 01-02-2012, 07:44 PM
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So true. As long as Charles and Camilla are happy with their living arrangements, who is anyone to gainsay them?
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  #812  
Old 01-02-2012, 11:59 PM
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I once heard an American socialite say that the very things that the press took her to task for were the things that made her husband happy with her. Seems to me that if the couple in question are happy with each other, do they really need to justify it to anyone not actually involved? (Although, I must confess to a certain vicarious enjoyment in arguing the matter with other people who are also not directly involved. :::laughs:::)

I'm glad that out of all the mess, Charles and Camilla have found happiness and they seem to share it with the people they love. I can't find a place in my heart to see anything wrong with that.
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  #813  
Old 01-03-2012, 12:29 AM
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I never took into consideration that Camilla's kids and grandkids would want to visit her without the fuss of going to the house of the Prince of Wales.
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  #814  
Old 01-03-2012, 07:29 PM
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Charles, William and Harry know the history and "value" of each stick of furniture, and the provenance of every knick-knack. Can you not imagine Tom, Laura and their spouses having a collective heart attack every time their beloved toddlers eyed a shiny object.

Visiting "Mum/Grandma" would be a nightmare! At their own place they probably have their own keys, and can act like a normal, rough and tumble, family. Tom and Laura know that there were already dents and marks on the antiques.

I once saw a Documentary where either Andrew or Edward talked about using a pedal car in a fabulously decorated long, wide and airy type of hall. Looking back he was a little shamefaced about the damage he had caused in all innocence by just being a child!

It makes Camilla's annual, very short, after Christmas visit to her own home not only entirely understandable, but commendable, in fact.

Charles has yet to deal with the "Grandchildren" problem although it was lovely to see that he is obviously no stranger to his "Steps", as illustrated in their annual Christmas Card. Whether he is ready to face kids in their "Destructercon" phase is, as yet, unknown.
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Old 01-03-2012, 07:51 PM
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I also/heard read somewhere in line with this same scenario that Charles wasn't able to put up with the noisy, chaotic atmosphere of Camilla's grandchildren coming to visit. He prefers his peace and quiet and order, so in this case her separate establishment is ideal for having the family over while he enjoys the tranquillity at Highgrove. In this case, everyone is happy and has the best of both worlds.
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  #816  
Old 01-03-2012, 10:09 PM
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If I were in the position of Camila's children, I would be terrified of bringing the little ones to Highgrove/Clarence House. It would be like visiting a museum, and I'd constantly worry that in a bout of energy and boredom, my kids would break something or make a mess. I think the arrangement works for all parties involved; Camila gets to spend time her her grandkids without the worry of making too much racket, and Charles gets his few days' worth of quiet and a clean house to boot.
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  #817  
Old 01-04-2012, 12:11 AM
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Actually, I was thinking how rare it is for Charles to have any time absolutely on his own. His entire life is diarised to the last moment, as is Camilla's now. How wonderful for him to have time to quietly think, relax, contemplate and plan. And for Camilla to have time to get a heavy one-shot dose of her family without strangers calling time.

Mmm, perfect!
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  #818  
Old 01-04-2012, 12:25 AM
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Sounds like a great strategy, to me, too.
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  #819  
Old 01-04-2012, 02:40 AM
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Thinking about the hard life Charles has had with never being alone and hardly being spontaneous, plus his job/life tethers him closely to his parents and siblings despite th fact that he is in his 60's. It's understandable that he would want a place for solitude. I'm almost a hermit myself so I'm a little jealous.
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  #820  
Old 01-04-2012, 04:11 AM
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Whether he is ready to face kids in their "Destructercon" phase is, as yet, unknown.

I would argue that he is fully familiar with this phase having been a father and an uncle as well as a much older sibling to very young children - he is afterall 16 years older than Edward so would have experienced that phase within his own family before he was 20 and then again when Anne's, his and Andrew's children were at that phase and now Edward's children. He probably has less contact with Edward's than he did with the others, simply because of the age gap between his own children and Edward's but he has certainly experienced that destructive phase throughout his life since he was in his mid-teens.
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