C&C love story - the early days

[Monika_]

No problem...sorry. :)

[agatha1939]

Skydragon, may I ask you what is your opinion about C&C story? I mean, from your posts I got the impression that you believe Camila was Charle's love and he "lost her" because of BP and royal pressure. But then, when somebody says that Charles and Camila were in love and that's the reason his marriage with Diana didn't have a chance, you say they were just friends and Diana was crazy for thinking something else. But later again, when people discuss C&C today, it's back to they are in love since they were young... I mean no disrespect at all, I just want to know what you think about it, I like your posts very much although we have very diferent POV in general .

THAT was the reason I asked this question in the first place, to know (nosy nosy nosy ) if C&C were in love when young or not. It makes a huge difference in my POV... if they were just friends at that time then there's a HUGE spin being made by Clarence House today to "justify" their story to the public, and that's fine, that's their job. But people should recognize that, specially here in this forum where people are intelligent and very well informed (I would hope so LOL). And then yes, I could agree that maybe Diana over-reacted with their friendship, although I still believe it would be much more difficut for one person (Charles) to work on the marriage if there is a "better" option (Camila) waiting on the side, but this is another discussion.

If they were in love though, then it doesn't matter how "crazy and difficult and depressed and problematic and needy and whatever else" people say Diana was (not my opinion), C&D marriage didn't have a chance. Of course Diana could have behaved better, but that's not the point here. I think most people would agree that it would be almost impossible to find the love of your life, your soul mate, the one and only person who really understand you and NOT do anything about it, specially when the other person feels the same about you and is not in a love relationship with her husband. This is the whole point, how come C&C were only friends through all these years where Chales were "miserable, trying with all his strength to save his marriage, facing a horrible woman who didn't care at all for him, etc" and still they repressd their "love" and were just friends? Am I missing something here?

And I agree, Camila and APB marriage had a huge effect in this story... she probably knew he was a cheater before marriage but to face that everyday would be a huge turn off to any woman... you see, she also was dealing with a bad husband and had somebody "better" on her side. She was of course, much more mature than Diana, she was willing to keep a "good" marriage for her kids, her position, etc, but again, I don't want to discuss the "horrible" Diana and her "horrible" acts, I really would like to understand what is the truth between C&C, was it a friendship that become love AFTER Diana, or was it love that was always there, before, during and after?

Sorry for the long post and for being so... nosy!!!

[Skydragon]

Originally Posted by agatha1939

Skydragon, may I ask you what is your opinion about C&C story? I mean, from your posts I got the impression that you believe Camila was Charle's love and he "lost her" because of BP and royal pressure. But then, when somebody says that Charles and Camila were in love and that's the reason his marriage with Diana didn't have a chance, you say they were just friends and Diana was crazy for thinking something else. But later again, when people discuss C&C today, it's back to they are in love since they were young... I mean no disrespect at all, I just want to know what you think about it, I like your posts very much although we have very diferent POV in general .

I believe that they were very much in love but accepted it was a love that couldn't go anywhere. As a result they settled for second best within their relationship, that of being friends. I believe it is entirely possible to put that love into the shadows and leave it there, finding real value in friendship. For a new partner, it is natural to be slightly jealous of all the memories your partner shares with other friends, but for some the jealousy of things you were not party too, can be overwhelming and has destroyed many a marriage and friendship. My second husband was married to someone else before we met, does that mean he loves me any less or that he didn't love his first wife?

We all, throughout our lives love many people in different ways. I can well imagine Charles' dismay when Diana didn't get on, not just with Camilla but any of his friends. That would be like finding the partner of your dreams and then realising you had absolutely nothing in common!

Had Charles and Diana not started to fall out, (some reports suggest their first rows were more about Charles fulfilling his work commitments or shooting than about his friendship with Camilla), I don't believe that Charles & Camilla would have gone beyond friendship. When a person is constantly rowing with their partner, most turn to their friends.

So with or without the Clarence House spin, I have always believed they loved each other from the word go, I also always believed they were able to put that love for each other to one side and become close, reliable, through thick or thin, friends and only friends. To me their love was rekindled through listening to each others problems with their partners.

I think most people would agree that it would be almost impossible to find the love of your life, your soul mate, the one and only person who really understand you and NOT do anything about it, specially when the other person feels the same about you and is not in a love relationship with her husband.

On that we will have to disagree, I think it is entirely possible and IMO happens to millions of people! If they both want to upset the applecart, there is always divorce.

[ysbel]

Well I'm not skydragon but I see two different types of spins here: one is the spin if Charles and Camilla were in love it didn't matter how emotionally unstable Diana was, the marriage was going to fail; and the other is that if Diana was that emotionally unstable, it didn't matter what Charles' relationship with Camilla and his other friends were, the marriage was going to fail.

I've seen otherwise healthy marriages survive an affair and I've seen unhealthy marriages with an emotionally unstable partner survive. The longstanding marriages with an emotionally unstable partner were torture for those inside the marriage so I wouldn't wish that on anyone.

You can look at the spin of C&C being true loves in two ways: one is that they have sacrificed so much to be together, people only understand if the sacrifice was for your one true love; the other way to look at it is that Diana avoided taking responsibility for the effect her own behavior had on the downfall of her marriage and she was trying to let herself off the hook for her own actions when she told the world that she never had a chance because Charles was in love with Camilla. If she told herself that there was nothing she could do about Charles and Camilla, that gave her a convenient excuse not to work on some of her behavior problems that were affecting her quality of life in general and the quality of life of those closest to her including Charles and her sons.

Both Charles and Diana could have been spinning at the same time. I simply have a strong sense that Diana was avoiding facing up to some of the more difficult emotional problems she was facing, regardless of whether Charles was having an affair or not.

[MARG]

Originally Posted by Skydragon

That is the whole point, by whom?
Camilla's presence from day one is only according to Diana. Even the story of the cufflinks was distorted, the C&C did not stand for Charles & Camilla.

Sorry, I missed the connection. What did the C&C stand for?

[Skydragon]

Originally Posted by MARG

Sorry, I missed the connection. What did the C&C stand for?

I was trying to find the passage in a book that says I believe, that the C's were in fact the Chanel logo.

[TheTruth]

The story of the cufflinks is still very uncertain. It's certainly the Chanel sign, with the two C but it can always have the meaning of Charles and Camilla. An hypothesis doesn't neutralize another.

[Skydragon]

Originally Posted by TheTruth

The story of the cufflinks is still very uncertain. It's certainly the Chanel sign, with the two C but it can always have the meaning of Charles and Camilla. An hypothesis doesn't neutralize another.

True, but surely if they were a 'personal' personal gift, they would bear the initials G&F (Gladys and Fred), their nicknames for one another.

One almost gets the feeling that if they had been Diamond set, there would have been the suggestion that the Diamonds meant eternal love!

[agatha1939]

Originally Posted by ysbel

Well I'm not skydragon but I see two different types of spins here: one is the spin if Charles and Camilla were in love it didn't matter how emotionally unstable Diana was, the marriage was going to fail; and the other is that if Diana was that emotionally unstable, it didn't matter what Charles' relationship with Camilla and his other friends were, the marriage was going to fail.

That is true, I can agree with that. It seems there are 2 spins going on very strong, one when people believe that Diana didn't matter, C&C were so in love that Charles and Diana never had a chance. And the other one (very strong in this forum I may say) when people believe Camila didn't matter, Diana was so instable that because of that, her wedding didn't have a chance. Like everythning in life, it is probably something in the middle.

IMO, it's exactly because I don't believe that Camila was a just "fling" for Charles that I find very hard to believe that they stayed just as friends. I know it can happen, everything is possible, but I don't think it's that common and *I* cannot believe it happened in that case. If they were really in love, and both in a loveless marriage, it would "make sense" FOR THEM to live whatever they were feeling. It doesn't mean they wanted other people to suffer because of that.

I used to be 100% pro-Diana and put all the blame on Charles, but I got older (LOL) and now I understand better about relationships. Diana behaved very bad, she could - and should - have changed HER behaviour to try to get her husband "back" and if that failed, then divorce him. She had children with Charles and she should have put them in 1st place, not her. But I also cannot make myself to believe that she entered a marriage with a man who had only a friend like some people believe, I still believe C&C were in love BEFORE and WHEN PW married Diana and his "plan" (please, note the quotes) was to have a "good" marriage with Diana - like Camila had with APB - but his heart was Camila's.

IMO, it doesn't matter Diana was fighting with him about his duties, shooting, etc, these kind of arguments happen in many marriages and they don't end because of them. The same thing I said about Diana applies to Charles, it doesn't matter she was spoiled, naive, immature, whatever, he married her, he had to deal with her OR divorce her. IMO, the fact that Charles knew he had Camila as his love (not just a friend) changed the whole thing, not only for Diana, but most importantly for him.

Well, I think we'll never know what exactly happened, so many spins from so many places and people...

[Skydragon]

Originally Posted by agatha1939

IMO, it's exactly because I don't believe that Camila was a just "fling" for Charles that I find very hard to believe that they stayed just as friends. I know it can happen, everything is possible, but I don't think it's that common and *I* cannot believe it happened in that case. If they were really in love, and both in a loveless marriage, it would "make sense" FOR THEM to live whatever they were feeling. It doesn't mean they wanted other people to suffer because of that.

Many men and women are able to stay friends with ex girl/boyfriends, fiance/fiancee, wives and husbands, just from people I know or have known, I believe it is fairly common. Many have passed beyond the need to leap into bed with one another, they are content and secure to remain friends. IMO, to say that they could not simply have remained friends is the same as saying it is impossible for women to have a non sexual friendship with a man, or a man a non sexual friendship with a woman.

IMO, it doesn't matter Diana was fighting with him about his duties, shooting, etc, these kind of arguments happen in many marriages and they don't end because of them.

Yes arguments can happen within any marriage, but when they are constant and neither side can see the others, there is no hope for a solution and the gap gets wider.

[agatha1939]

Originally Posted by Skydragon

Many men and women are able to stay friends with ex girl/boyfriends, fiance/fiancee, wives and husbands, just from people I know or have known, I believe it is fairly common. Many have passed beyond the need to leap into bed with one another, they are content and secure to remain friends. IMO, to say that they could not simply have remained friends is the same as saying it is impossible for women to have a non sexual friendship with a man, or a man a non sexual friendship with a woman.

Of course they can, I have more male friends than females and there's nothing sexual between us, believe me! And even older boyfriends, I still keep contact with them and I am close to some them. However, the LOVE I felt for them is really in my past and I am not sure that's what happened to C&C.

Camila may have felt the same way, maybe she really didn't feel LOVE for Charles at that time, maybe he really didn't feel LOVE (man-woman love, not friendship love) for Camila at that time, I just find hard to believe in that because of what happened later, because they stayed together and VERY MUCH in love. I am not saying that this is exactly what happened, I don't know, you don't know, nobody knows. It is just my feeling that they were in love (meaning, they were lovers) all that time, before, during and after C&D marriage.

But the objective of my question was to find out (nosyyy) the early days, and IMO they were not in love at that time, and I think that was THE problem. When they figured out how much they loved each other, she was married to APB and then there was no way for them to stay together. So, I don't believe the Clarence House spin that they met and fell in love and were forbidden to marry. And yes, I don't believe Diana tried everything to save her marriage, but I also don't believe Charles wanted to have a real marriage to Diana. Well, maybe he wanted a "marriage" to Diana, but not real love. And he didn't get it either, because Diana didn't know how to deal with that situation and made everything worse.

But, it's just my opinion!

[milla Ca]

Originally Posted by Skydragon

Many men and women are able to stay friends with ex girl/boyfriends, fiance/fiancee, wives and husbands, just from people I know or have known, I believe it is fairly common. Many have passed beyond the need to leap into bed with one another, they are content and secure to remain friends. IMO, to say that they could not simply have remained friends is the same as saying it is impossible for women to have a non sexual friendship with a man, or a man a non sexual friendship with a woman.

I agree Skydragon, i think it can be great and a long staying friendship if both ex-partners stop to love each other and both have a ´new´ content life.

In the C&C case i think it is different in some ways.

They made the decision to be ´only´ friends not because they stopped to love each other but because of the pressure that a future King has to marry a suitable woman. They didn´t want to lose each other so they went the way again they did some time before, after Camilla´s marriage ( 1973-79), and they were ´only´ best friends.
I´m not sure if Camilla was happy with this agreement but i´m sure Charles wasn´t, although it was his wish to make his marriage work and i´m also sure he was faithful the first years of his marriage.

I think Camilla was the one he always wanted and he always longed for, if there wasn´t the pressure around him, he hadn´t give her up (as his partner and lover) for only one moment in his life.

[Skydragon]

Originally Posted by agatha1939

Camila may have felt the same way, maybe she really didn't feel LOVE for Charles at that time, maybe he really didn't feel LOVE (man-woman love, not friendship love) for Camila at that time, I just find hard to believe in that because of what happened later, because they stayed together and VERY MUCH in love. I am not saying that this is exactly what happened, I don't know, you don't know, nobody knows. It is just my feeling that they were in love (meaning, they were lovers) all that time, before, during and after C&D marriage.

I think you may have misunderstood the point I was trying to make earlier, that Charles and Camilla loved each other but decided friendship was the path to follow, at that time. I don't believe they were lovers at the beginning of the marriage, apart from anything else when would they have found the time.

[TheTruth]

Originally Posted by milla Ca

I think Camilla was the one he always wanted and he always longed for, if there wasn´t the pressure around him, he hadn´t give her up (as his partner and lover) for only one moment in his life.

The poor guy didn't, she married APB first. This whole fiasco happened because of a flood of unfortunate circumstances.
To me, Camilla only became the one he always wanted from the moment he realized how bad the marriage with Diana was. Even then, I'm not sure he thought she should have been the woman of his life.

[milla Ca]

Originally Posted by TheTruth

The poor guy didn't, she married APB first. This whole fiasco happened because of a flood of unfortunate circumstances.
To me, Camilla only became the one he always wanted from the moment he realized how bad the marriage with Diana was. Even then, I'm not sure he thought she should have been the woman of his life.

Sorry,i couldn´t agree less, Kelly!