When did your opinion of Diana change and why?

[Panicgrl]

I wouldn't say that my opinion of Diana has changed over the years, but I will say that I see her much more realistically now.

I got up that July morning in 1981 as a young girl of 8 to watch the wedding, and became enchanted with Diana on that day. I saw Charles as dashing and romantic (being a Prince), and her story reminded me of all the "happily ever after" fantasies I had read about.

I married young myself, at 18, and was divorced at 22. My divorce became final right before the serialization of the Morton book. My heart went out to her, for her life paralleled mine. I pretended that my life was perfect, when in fact from the honeymoon on I knew I had made a mistake.

I was disturbed by the "suicide attempt" while pregnant with William. I know now that that was an exaggeration, but it truly shocked me that she would even say that.

However, I went through personal problems of my own, and am in the process of recovery. I truly feel that Diana had some mental illness, and although it doesn't rationalize certain behaviors, it explains them. This is truly my own personal opinion.

I think the big tragedy of Diana's life was that she didn't love herself, therefore she depended on others to love her. If she had loved and respected herself, I think her life could have been different.

By that I mean she could have come to terms with Charles' affair with Camilla, not to different than the way Queen Alexandra did with King Edward VII. I think that Diana made rash decisions, and probably had serious regrets about the Panorama interview and the divorce.

I think she died not having truly ever found herself. I think she was starting on that path, but still, the behavior with Dodi that summer shows me that she was still depending on others for her happiness.

I admire her beauty and grace. I deeply admire the charitable work she did and the ability she had to releate to commoners. When all is said and done, I see her as a sad and ill woman with so much promise.

I don't know that Charles loved her, but I do believe he cared for her, and the bond with their children would have helped them to develop into more of a friendship.

Again, this is all my opinion, not based on much fact. Only Diana really knew what was in her heart, and she is no longer with us.

[TheTruth]

I forgot to say that I've voted Other. Like I said, I never really got to change my point of vue on Diana. Although, we might consider that whether we were too young to understand the whole situation, it must have changed our vision of the woman. People like Liz were enchanted by the fairytale and all that stuff but then, when the other side of the story appeared, some stucked with this idea and refused to change their ideal thoughts on her ; others became so disgusted that they no longer have any respect for her. And of course there are the ones in the middle, thinking how someone could be so different depending on the specific situation ... As for me, who didn't see the story from A to Z (I was 6 when she died), some things she has done like the phone calls to Hoare or the Panorama Interview, will always remain how they are : untolerable ; but she did many good things aside of that so, IMO, it's impossible to condemn her.

[TheTruth]

What I didn't catch in the poll is why Hewitt can be a factor to our way of seeing Diana. I believe it can show that Diana also had an affair but what else ? It is the last thing I would think about to explain my change of point of vue.

[acdc1]

I voted War of the Walses. Like most of the people here it seems, () I was pretty young when Diana died. I guess I kind of always liked her pretty well, since I'm American, and the American press just worships the ground she walked on, and have all these nice things to say. So all I pretty much heard about her were about the wonderful things she did, how pretty she was, etc. Besides, I didn't become a royalty fan until around a year or so ago, and I'm still not a huge follower of the British Royal Family. But the first thing that I did hear about was the War of the Walses, and for some reason I was just turned off by it, it just seemed kind of stupid to me. I know Diana's done more stupid/dumb/rash/innappropriate things over the years, but this was just the first one that turned me off to her. Now, I'm not a Diana-hater, I think she was a kind, caring woman who did a lot for the Royal Family and for the British people, and that she was a wonderful mother. I'm not a big enough follower of the BRF to be in a "camp" so to speak.

[TheTruth]

Originally Posted by acdc1

I voted War of the Walses. Like most of the people here it seems, () I was pretty young when Diana died. I guess I kind of always liked her pretty well, since I'm American, and the American press just worships the ground she walked on, and have all these nice things to say. So all I pretty much heard about her were about the wonderful things she did, how pretty she was, etc. Besides, I didn't become a royalty fan until around a year or so ago, and I'm still not a huge follower of the British Royal Family. But the first thing that I did hear about was the War of the Walses, and for some reason I was just turned off by it, it just seemed kind of stupid to me. I know Diana's done more stupid/dumb/rash/innappropriate things over the years, but this was just the first one that turned me off to her. Now, I'm not a Diana-hater, I think she was a kind, caring woman who did a lot for the Royal Family and for the British people, and that she was a wonderful mother. I'm not a big enough follower of the BRF to be in a "camp" so to speak.

(my bolding)

LOL, well don't worry acdc1 because you don't have to choose. I'm mostly interested in the BRF and I won't choose a side because once you do, you're no longer free to see the truth .

[Skydragon]

A thread I can't really comment on, as I never liked Diana from the moment she was touted as the proposed candidate for Charles' wife!

[TheTruth]

Originally Posted by Skydragon

A thread I can't really comment on, as I never liked Diana from the moment she was touted as the proposed candidate for Charles' wife!

At least that's honest . What didn't you like in her ?

[Madame Royale]

My opinion hasn't altered over the course of time. I thought her a beautiful woman when alive and I hold that memory still today.

A person of great depth and feeling. Emotionally driven, many times to a certain excess though I saw this as no fault of her own. She could not help feeling the way she did. The mind is such a powerful tool, after all.

Her choices weren't always the best though they were her choices to make.

[Avalon]

For me, it all started from the Panorama interview.

I always used to like Diana, and as a matter of fact I still do. The part of her that was a caring personality, loving mother, shy and honest person attracted me, and I will always be very fond of that Diana.

But the other Diana, which for me emerged with that Panorama interview, was less then attractive. The interview was simply revolting, I hated how manipulative she with those black eyes, deep voice, careful rehearsals. And I was really enreaged by the suggestions that Charles is not fit to be a King, or that he is not a good father.
Even if he were not the best father in the world (and I beleive he is a great Dad), no mother should have ever said that, least of all in front of millions of people.
Another thing was that 'there were 3 of us in the marriage, so it was a bit crowded'. She obviously didn't count well, not with Hewitt and the other men in her life.

That interview was a directed and very spiteful attack the Royal Family, and on Charles personally. And I don't like spiteful attacks.

[angelwngs]

My perception of Diana did not change. I was married a year after Diana and Charles and my two sons were born a year after William and Harry. I clearly remember reading about and watching the courtship, engagement and their wedding and wondering how on Earth Diana could ever survive adjustment into royal life. Her damage was so very obvious to me even then.

Both Charles and Diana used the other. As a schoolgirl, Diana had a poster of Charles in her room. She first met him at a "country" Spencer gathering. Years later, by her own admission, her first lengthy conversation with him was quite planned, with her using her compassion over the death of his dear uncle to immediately endear him to her. Obviously, Charles was following the call of duty and expectation in his choice of marriage partner. It was such a contrived fairytale from the very onset.

Diana survived as long as she did by proving that her lack of "O Levels" in relation to her actual level of intelligence was reflective only on paper. The Royal Family, Charles included, and Camilla as well had absolutely no clue that Diana could and would turn out to be such a force with which to be reckoned. Even when there was a faulty step on Diana's part, royal protocol assured Diana a win at every turn. The stiff upper lip and a silent defense by the royals opened the door for a windfall of public successes for Diana. She played the game as a pro in spite of all of her personal damage. It is no wonder at all that the Duke of E so disliked her.

Diana's downfall was in her timing. Ultimately, she failed to learn and exhibit good timing. By 1997 the fight was over, yet she was still playing the game. If only she had avoided allowing the likes of Al Fayed then or in her future to thrust her into the middle of his own battle with the British government and the royal family, she would most probably have found and achieved much of the security and balance that she so desperately sought. I would like to beleive that vindictiveness did not cause her death, but sadly I think she was very much aware of how what she was doing would effect both Dr. Khan and the royal family, when she accepted the invitations to her last holidays. She had already won the game...if only she had realized it and stopped playing.

[georgiea]

So very true. I wonder if she would be with Dr. Khan now or living in America? I wish she did not gamble on life after she won her freedom. But even with that shortcoming I still admire Diana, Princess of Wales.

[Lighthouse]

When the Wales' extra-marital affairs came to light it conflicted with my own values, that marriage is sacred. I wondered what she wanted with that other bloke. Then there were rumours of other blokes too.

[Dierna23]

Well, to me it was mainly the Panorama-Interview that changed my opinion, but not at that time of course because I was a bit too young I think, to understand all that. But in retrospect indeed. I was twelve years old when Diana died, of course I knew her, some of the banner headlines about the marriage, the whole "triangle" between her and Charles and Camilla and I watched those silly TV-movies about Fergie & her, but I never really had an opinion about Diana, she didn't fascinated me nor did I disliked her (I had a soft spot for the Queen and the Queen Mother especially, when I was a child). Then Diana died and I was as many of us overwhelmed by the collective mourning. I didn't cry when I watched the funeral on TV, but I remember quite well how concerned I was and I mainly had sympathy for Harry and William. Especially because my own father died a year earlier and I thought to know how they felt. I still remember all that hype after her dead quite well, the stylization to an icon of an selfless woman and a betrayed by the royal family.

Maybe I have to add that I somehow always felt sympathy for Camilla and found it very unfair to blame her for the damaged marriage of Charles and Diana. So in the last years I read books, watched documentaries and and and... As I never was a fan of Diana, my opinion never changed really, but I do think she made some fatal mistakes and one of them was the Panorama Interview. As it is mentioned at the beginning of this thread I always felt that it was an directly slap in the face to the monarchy, especially to Charles and HM. I really think she shouldn't have done that, as well as I think she used the media and she should have known it better.

Of course she was a human being and did mistakes as everyone does. As well as I know that she did good things and I appreciate her for that. But yes, I do see that she injured the british monarchy more than she helped it. But thats just my own opinion and it does mean no offence to anyone here, not even to Diana. To me she never was a saint, but it's although quite said that she died so young...

[ysbel]

Originally Posted by TheTruth

What I didn't catch in the poll is why Hewitt can be a factor to our way of seeing Diana. I believe it can show that Diana also had an affair but what else ? It is the last thing I would think about to explain my change of point of vue.

I'm not really sure, TheTruth. It was one of Jo's suggestions. Maybe she can explain.

[Jo of Palatine]

Originally Posted by ysbel

I'm not really sure, TheTruth. It was one of Jo's suggestions. Maybe she can explain.

With "Hewitt" I meant the information that while Diana claimed Charles had had an affair with Camilla and that was the reason for all problems, she herself had had an affair as well. "Hewitt" stands for the hypocrisy of doing yourself what you blame your partner for.

[TheTruth]

Originally Posted by Jo of Palatine

With "Hewitt" I meant the information that while Diana claimed Charles had had an affair with Camilla and that was the reason for all problems, she herself had had an affair as well. "Hewitt" stands for the hypocrisy of doing yourself what you blame your partner for.

Thanks for clearing this up. I see your point now but I still don't know how I could blame her for that. I mean, we'll never know who cheated the first and I don't want to be mean but most of the time when you have an affair, your decision is caused by the other person of the couple. If Diana put too much pressure on Charles, I'm ready to understand his actions ("understand" ; not "approve"). No matter who felt sad and cheated on the other because I won't judge someone in search of comfort.

[zhontella]

Diana was for the most part under my radar -- I took little notice except to note at first that she wasn't that pretty, her hair looked bad and her style was even worse. I also assumed she only married Charles to become the Princess of Wales since she seemed a little too cool for Charles.

Later on I noticed she was getting better with style and wondered about who was advising her on her clothes. The only specific comments I remember about Diana when she was still alive was how she got much criticism for her comment about being surprised she was there that day since she'd heard she was suppose to spend all her time with her head down the loo. It was said she was wallowing in too much self pity.

So my opinion did change, and the only way it could go was up I started to feel a lot of sympathy for Diana with the interview Charles made confessing his adultery -- "...........but only after the marriage was irretrievably broken.......", and I could tell without a doubt he was being dishonest -- his adultery started long before that. He seemed like such a total cad in that interview, the sort of husband who could be any woman's worse nightmare. If Diana became spiteful and vindictive, I couldn't blame her. Furthermore, Diana was afraid -- possibly scared the royal family wanted to ban her to Siberia and forbid all contact with her children -- so that alone could also cause a lot of irratic and unpleasant behavior.

Since I heard a lot about Diana's projects and charity work after she died, I started to admire her as being a wonderful Princess of Wales -- diligent and consciencious about projects for which she really cared. I have also come to admire Prince Charles for being an outstanding Prince of Wales, and I suspect it probably was by following his example that Diana was able to do her job as well as she did. Without all the outside interference pulling them apart, they would have made a wonderful team.

[Jo of Palatine]

Originally Posted by TheTruth

I mean, we'll never know who cheated the first and I don't want to be mean but most of the time when you have an affair, your decision is caused by the other person of the couple.

The thing is that we only have Diana's word for it that Charles never ended his relationship with Camilla while Charles claims that his marriage was truly over when he hooked up with Camilla. We simply don't know who cheated first, but there is a lot of information pointing to the fact that Diana introduced the idea of "three in a marriage" in order to explain her own behaviour, so it could well be a lie. As it is, we don't know who cheated first on whom.

[love_cc]

My opinions about Diana were establsished throughout these matters:from Morton's book to her interview to her post-divource behavours and biographies written after her death. These close-up and careful readings about Diana and the royal family makes me really hard to take Diana's side. Diana could be a very sweet person to many people, but I always find hard to forgive her way of damaging the monarchy and using unreasonable revenges. I would say she was too self-pity to look into herself and found her own parts of mistakes in her own unfortuntes until very late stage of her life. Probably what Diana always needed was a man who can help her deal matters in a healthy and balance way and also love her in an unconditional way. Prince Charles is not cetainly that man. Dr. Hahn could be that man, but unforutunately their relationships did not have much chance beacuase of her public status and their cultural difference and Diana's own stubborn even extreme views about certain matters.

Diana was a sad person. I adore Camilla for her always dealing diffliculties in her life in a strong way, but Diana deserved a lot of sympathy depsite my opinions for her will not change much after so many readings.

[Chimene]

I loved Diana in the beginning because like everyone else I got caught in the fairytale. And of course, she was charming, warm and had great life and future ahead of her. I’m a strong believer in: you should never wash your dirty laundry in public. With the publication of Andrew Morton’s book, I suspected from all the newspaper stories that Diana was behind it because of all the personal detailed contained in it.

I began to strongly dislike her when suggested in the book that Charles was an unfit father, which I found unforgivable. The way I looked at it was I could not respect a person who did not have the emotional intelligence needed to spare her own children from her mess. From that point on, I became a supporter of the prince simply because of the amount of vanity that the newspapers were selling. Mind you, I would kick my husband to the curb if he ever cheated on me. But, I can imagine that being the heir and dealing with a wife like Diana must have been a nightmare.

I could not believe Diana’s audacity when she questioned Charles fitness to ascend the throne. She let all the press adulation go to her head, and she forgot who made her a princess. Of course Charles was not innocent, but he did not deserve to be denied his birthright, especially since she was not pure herself. When the divorce announcement came, I had hoped that she could finally rebuild her life.

In the end, I saw her as an immature woman who was unable to understand her position. as a result, she unintentionally almost destroyed her son’s future. I felt sorry that she felt unfulfilled during her life. I was really saddened that she died way too young and left behind the only two people that had brought her real joy, her two boys.