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View Poll Results: What is your opinion about Charles visiting Diana's grave?
I think its good for Charles to visit Diana's grave. 114 52.29%
I don't think its good for Charles to visit Diana's grave. 20 9.17%
I don't know. 10 4.59%
I don't care whether he visits her grave or not. 74 33.94%
Voters: 218. You may not vote on this poll

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  #81  
Old 01-05-2009, 11:32 PM
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Originally Posted by White Princess View Post
Obviously!!! She was the mother of his sons, his late wife!! He MUST pay tribute for her.
No, he mustn't. He paid tribute to her by flying Paris to bring her back to England. He paid tribute by walking behind her coffin with their children. He paid tribute by attending the funeral. He paid tribute when he became upset that she was missing an earring. He pays tribute to her everytime he spends time with his children. Yes, she was the mother of their children and I do think that he respected her position and I think he did love her--he certainly did grieve for her. After Earl Spencer's harsh and critical words towards the Spencers I have little doubt that The Prince of Wales is not about to drive out to the grave to visit Diana--and I think that it is somewhat morbid if he does. The best way to pay tribute to someone is to celebrate their life, which is what he does through their children.
I think the reason this thread was even begun was because among some there continues to be a glimmer of hope that Charles loved Diana desperately and regrets their divorce and all the acrimony and wished he had remained with her. That is not the case. I'm sure he wished they could have split more amiably, but towards the end of her life they had established a friendship and were able to get along with each other--but I fear some romantics want to believe that Charles goes out to the island regularly and sits and talks with Diana about the boys. I don't quite see it happening.
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  #82  
Old 01-06-2009, 01:32 PM
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I would hope that if the sons wanted their father to go with them (on her birthday for example) that he would go. However, I recently read a quote from Earl Spencer saying that Charles had never been to the grave. Also, I've always harbored a suspicion (no proof...just a feeling) that she's not really in the oval, perhaps instead quietly burried with the ancestors down in the church.
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  #83  
Old 01-06-2009, 01:43 PM
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nice answer janet , well done
i don't no what poeple waiting from charle to paid tribute for diana !!!!
he paid a lot of tribute for her since 10 years , the princess is dead know !
and don't know when poeple stop to talking about the old problemes with the late diana and the prince !
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  #84  
Old 01-06-2009, 03:04 PM
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I agree with you with saying that he pays tribute for her when he stays with theirs sons. And I really wanted to people stop talking about theirs problems, but I think the visiting of the grave would be a exemple that he didn't forget her. That's what I guess. :)
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  #85  
Old 01-06-2009, 05:44 PM
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I've always thought visiting graves to be morbid and pointless, and I think it is an odd thing to do. I believe that people live on in their friends' and loved ones' hearts and memories, not in the immediate vicinity of the box where their mortal remains are buried. You certainly don't have to visit the place those remains are buried to remember the person who once occupied that body. I know some people believe it is a good thing to do though, and important. I don't criticise anyone for that; if it feels right for them, it's the right thing to do. I'm just providing the point of view of someone who doesn't see any need whatsoever for Charles to ever have visited Diana's grave.

Charles can't possibly forget Diana; for one thing the press won't let him. For another, he has their two sons as a constant reminder. But apart from that she was a part of his life for more than 15 years. He lived with her and worked with her, and had children with her, and there will be numerous things in his life that will remind him of Diana.

I'm sure he has many happy memories of Diana, and that it is likely those are the ones he recalls. I doubt he wants to be reminded of the tragic events that preceded her burial - the phone call in the night, dellivering the heartbreaking news to their sons, the flight to Paris, seeing her dead body lying in the hospital, searching for her earring, taking her home, dealing with their sons' grief, the lead-up to the funeral, the funeral itself, her brother's speech at the funeral, the public's applause, taking her to her burial place, placing her in the ground, and leaving her there.

And even if he did want to visit her grave, Diana is buried on "hostile" ground. If he goes, his presence will be noticed and commented upon in the press. No, it's best he stays away and remembers her in his own way.
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  #86  
Old 01-06-2009, 07:26 PM
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I personally dont ever go to the cemetary, so I could understand how none of them might be going there often, if at all.
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  #87  
Old 01-07-2009, 04:06 PM
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I agree completely. Everyone mourns in his own way.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Roslyn View Post
And even if he did want to visit her grave, Diana is buried on "hostile" ground. If he goes, his presence will be noticed and commented upon in the press. No, it's best he stays away and remembers her in his own way.
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  #88  
Old 01-07-2009, 04:35 PM
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I think in certain circumstances (death anniversary, is one), it would be appropriate for Prince Charles to visit Diana's grave. Otherwise, on ordinary days, there would be no point for him to sneak away to it.
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  #89  
Old 01-07-2009, 04:37 PM
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I've noticed in my contact with American friends that there's more emphasis on visiting graves in the US than there is up here. One of those subtle cultural differences between people who are very much alike in many ways.

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Originally Posted by Maricar View Post
I think in certain circumstances (death anniversary, is one), it would be appropriate for Prince Charles to visit Diana's grave. Otherwise, on ordinary days, there would be no point for him to sneak away to it.
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  #90  
Old 01-07-2009, 04:44 PM
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True, that. :)
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  #91  
Old 01-08-2009, 04:13 AM
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Originally Posted by Mermaid1962 View Post
I've noticed in my contact with American friends that there's more emphasis on visiting graves in the US than there is up here. One of those subtle cultural differences between people who are very much alike in many ways.
Here in Germany, All Saints Day is the day where you visit the graves or at least make sure they are readied for winter by ordering a gardener's service. All sflower shops and supermarkets offer special winterhard bouquets, so you could say that it's a custom still observed by young and old. There are organizations who care for German cemetaries in the former German parts of other European countries and they are active around this time of year as well, living on donations. But that's not our War Remembrance Day, that is in mid-November.
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  #92  
Old 01-08-2009, 06:10 AM
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Some do, some don't. When you pass a cemetery, it is rare to see anyone there, unless a funeral is being conducted. On some graves you might see the odd bunch of flowers, but I don't think there can be any hard and fast rules on how anyone should or shouldn't act.
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  #93  
Old 01-08-2009, 08:42 AM
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I loathe cemetary's. The words of an old anonymus poem explain it better than I ever could:

Do not stand at my grave and weep;
I am not there. I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry;
I am not there. I did not die.

Every time I speak their name they live on in my heart.
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  #94  
Old 01-08-2009, 09:59 AM
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That's beautiful Marg!
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  #95  
Old 01-08-2009, 11:24 AM
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Originally Posted by MARG View Post
The words of an old anonymous poem explain it better than I ever could:
It's by Mary E Frye, I posted it on page one of this thread. It certainly sums it up for many people.

These are the extra verses to the slightly longer version -
I am the love of family and friend. I am the child who has come to rest, In the arms of the Father who knows him best. When you see the sunset fair, I am the scented evening air. I am the joy of a task well done. I am the glow of the setting sun. Do not stand at my grave and weep, I am not there, I do not sleep. Do not stand at my grave and cry .I am not there, I did not die!

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  #96  
Old 01-08-2009, 04:13 PM
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The only grave I visit on a regular basis is that of a friend of mine who was the first female graduate of one of the US service academies to die in the line of duty. She is buried at Arlington National Cemetery across the river from Washington D.C., and whenever my travels take me to DC, I spend an hour or so paying respect to her courage. I also walk through that area of the cemetery, which oddly is mostly graves from WWI, and say each name as I pass, to pay respect to those who gave service to our country. I feel as though as long as their names are spoken, their sacrifices are honored.

Taking this back to Charles visiting Diana's grave, honor is paid to her on a fairly regular basis via other means; Charles is, for lack of a better way to express it, forced to acknowledge her constantly, and I don't think it's all that painful for him to be honest. So it's up to him, whether or not to go.

I honor my grandmother when I make Hungarian chicken paprika or veal stew, and I can hear her voice giving me instruction along the way. I would imagine that an occasional thought is spared for Diana by her former husband. No requirement that it be graveside.

Having said that, I love walking through a cemetery. The headstones can tell a whole story if one wishes.
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  #97  
Old 01-08-2009, 04:33 PM
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Having said that, I love walking through a cemetery. The headstones can tell a whole story if one wishes.
I love going to cemetaries as well. There is so much history in them, and the older headstones are works of art.
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  #98  
Old 01-08-2009, 07:22 PM
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Originally Posted by NotAPretender View Post
The only grave I visit on a regular basis is that of a friend of mine who was the first female graduate of one of the US service academies to die in the line of duty. She is buried at Arlington National Cemetery across the river from Washington D.C., and whenever my travels take me to DC, I spend an hour or so paying respect to her courage. I also walk through that area of the cemetery, which oddly is mostly graves from WWI, and say each name as I pass, to pay respect to those who gave service to our country. I feel as though as long as their names are spoken, their sacrifices are honored.
People visit cemetaries for more than one reason. I definitely understand you visiting this friend's grave. Arlington must be a very moving place to visit. I have seen it on TV and in movies, and can only imagine the feelings one must have walking through it.

I, too, walk through war memorial cemetaries, reading the inscriptions and paying respect to those who died in our country's service. So many of them were so young, especially those who died in WWI. But this is done to remember the horror of war and to pay respect and as a private tribute to those long-dead whose sacrifice should be remembered but who who might otherwise have no-one else to note their existence. Lest We Forget!

I also find it very interesting walking through old cemetaries, especially in country areas, reading the notes about the lives and deaths of those long gone. Standing there reading their memorial stone we are linked in place if not time to events which occurred decades, even centuries ago. (We - my culture, anyway - have such a short history in this country; it must be amazing to live in a country where you can visit places your ancestors lived many hundreds of years ago.) Standing before the grave you can close your eyes and "feel" something of what it must have been like in the time when that person's family were there laying them to rest so long ago.

But I think these activities are quite different from visiting the grave of someone I personally knew and loved. I don't want to revisit the sadness of their death and don't need visit their grave to remember them.

And the fact that a lot of my relatives are cremated rather than buried makes a big difference to attitude, I think. Some of them have been scattered to the four winds in obscure places that were of significance to them.

It's a personal thing, and there's no right or wrong about it, in my opinion.
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  #99  
Old 01-09-2009, 02:51 AM
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I don't care whether he visits her grave or not.
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  #100  
Old 01-09-2009, 10:39 AM
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I love going to cemetaries as well. There is so much history in them, and the older headstones are works of art.
In German some 250 years ago the word for cemetary changed from the former "Kirchhof" - churchyard to "Friedhof" - yard of peace. Somehow I like this change in word usage as it shows now a very important part of what a graveyard is: a place to lay people to rest in peace but a place for the living to find peace as well. In many larger towns the cemetaries are the only place where small field animals like rabbits or rare birds have a chance to survive - even though they endanger the headstones sometimes. But it's nice to see rabbits playing on the lawn that is reserved for anonymous burials for example. Peace - indeed.
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