Reasons for disliking Diana?

[lizz70]

I didn't like or dislike Princess Di. Her life had no effect upon mine and nothing she did had any impact on me.

I was glad she used her superstar status to do some good and to raise awareness of issues.

I felt sad when she died, but only in the same way I feel sad when I hear that any young life has been cut short and I felt sad for two young boys with no mother anymore.

The whole Charles/Diana thing was a big mistake from every angle - only surprised it lasted as long as it did.

I didn't know the lady personally but have o say that some of the stories came out with such regularity, such similarity and from different sources for some of the reported behaviour to have been true.

Chas and Di were both using media to conduct dirty campaigns against each other. Some unhappy married people use the children to score points, they used the media.

I think what is very sad is that she could have accomplished so much more, if she had more time here and also spent less time worrying about what people said.

[ysbel]

Originally Posted by Margrethe II

I ask the Moderators this..

We have asked members several times to contact moderators privately by pm rather than posting a note in the thread. I don't know how long we can keep reminding people this before we start to pull any posts that invoke us directly.

Elspeth had a brilliant post earlier in the thread of why we criticize people who have died. I reposted it a couple of times so I won't re-post again but if you're interested, you can find her post easily enough.

Why people may or may not like Diana most likely lies in their interpretations of the media events around her. For a public figure, that is all we have to go on and we make judgments about public figures, dead or alive, based on their public persona everyday. Our likes and dislikes often says a lot more about ourselves than about the royal involved. As long as everyone remembers that and members remain respectful towards each other we'll be fine.

ysbel
British forums moderator

[ysbel]

Originally Posted by maryshawn

The more I learn about Diana, the less I understand her. I think her greatest "fault" was thinking she could outsmart others--the Court, the media, etc.

That's so true, Maryshawn. She was very successful with the public and media and I think its understandable that she would think that she could handle the Royal Family and its court just as easily. It was a mistake because the Royal Family doesn't operate on the same agenda as the media does so by their very nature the Royal Family and court would need to be handled differently.

I think both Charles and Diana had one way of dealing with people and if their way didn't work, then they couldn't change easily to a way that would be more effective. It caused a lot of problems for both of them.

[Elspeth]

To back up what ysbel said in post 142, if people have problems with the moderation of this thread, please contact us privately.

The intent of this thread is for people whose reactions to Diana were negative rather than postitive to explain why and to help others understand where they're coming from. We're trying very hard to make sure that the thread doesn't turn into a parade of emotion-driven criticisms; rather, we're interested to know WHY people feel they way they do and what sort of basis these opinions have, which might help people on both sides of this issue come to a somewhat better understanding of the other side. Tit-for-tat responses about Camilla are fairly close to the exact opposite of what we're hoping to achieve here, as are posts dripping with unexplained and unconcealed contempt for Diana.

If anyone has more questions, please contact one of the moderators by private message.

Elspeth

British Royals moderator

[Princejohnny25]

This thread isnt about speaking ill of the dead it is too help Diana fans understand why some people dont like her or have faults with her. It is a healthy conversation as Idriel said. We know a lot more about Diana than most other royals. This is just to give a different view point on Diana.

[Margrethe II]

if you notice my question to the Moderators, I also gave an answer. It was a question for which an answer was already apparent, and so I thought I made this clear...obviously not.

But, why do people need to understand why others dont like Diana? Do Camilla supporters need to know why Diana fans dont like her? It's a personal view and one that should stay that way. I dont think that argument very well thought out with all due respect.

"MII"

[Elspeth]

Originally Posted by Margrethe II

if you notice my question to the Moderators, I also gave an answer. It was a question for which an answer was already apparent, and so I thought I made this clear...obviously not.

But, why do people need to understand why others dont like Diana? Do Camilla supporters need to know why Diana fans dont like her? It's a personal view and one that should stay that way. I dont think that argument very well thought out with all due respect.

"MII"

Why do people need to understand why others don't like Diana? They don't need to, exactly. But usually when people have some sort of appreciation of the reasoning behind a different opinion, it makes it easier to agree to disagree than when people are entrenched in their positions and feeling defensive.

[Margrethe II]

Originally Posted by Elspeth

But usually when people have some sort of appreciation of the reasoning behind a different opinion, it makes it easier to agree to disagree than when people are entrenched in their positions and feeling defensive.

Exactly Elspeth, they dont need to...

So it seems to me that this thread has been established for no other purpose than to solely occupy indaviduals "rights" to 'agree to disagree', which is quite the waste of board space.

Thank you to Elspeth, Ysbel, Idriel, "PJ25" & Lizz70 for your replies.

"MII"

[Elspeth]

Well, if it comes to that, they don't need to talk about royalty at all and the whole of The Royal Forums could close down without leading immediately to the end of civilisation as we know it. This forum isn't about what people need, it's a place where people who are interested in royalty can gather to talk about it.

If a person thinks a particular thread is a waste of space, the best thing he or she can do is not participate in it. I'm sure there are all sorts of threads dotted around the site that some members think are completely pointless but others enjoy participating in.

There's no need to close a thread unless it's becoming a focus for rule violations. People who don't like the thread are welcome to stay away from it.

[Toledo]

Originally Posted by Elspeth

Well, if it comes to that, they don't need to talk about royalty at all and the whole of The Royal Forums could close down without leading immediately to the end of civilisation as we know it. This forum isn't about what people need, it's a place where people who are interested in royalty can gather to talk about it.

If a person thinks a particular thread is a waste of space, the best thing he or she can do is not participate in it. I'm sure there are all sorts of threads dotted around the site that some members think are completely pointless but others enjoy participating in.

There's no need to close a thread unless it's becoming a focus for rule violations. People who don't like the thread are welcome to stay away from it.

That's wise advice but in forums as in life having a strong opinion makes some people become quite a pest in their conduct toward other people. A diferrence of opinion is viewed more like a challenge than just a plain observation from someone else's point of view. And that's when good manners end up being thrown off the window and threads become chaotic.

I have to say, and I speak for some of my PM pals around, that we appreciate having here around the clock Administrators and Moderators and in every time zone possible. That leave us to be at ease in here.

But back to Diana. I like her. Nothing was more heart breaking than that night her dead was announced past midnight and the funeral ceremonies the whole week, that I recorded on two 8 hrs tapes and I haven't seen since that day.

[adelgal_36]

i admired diana and was a big fan. i had the privelledge of seeing her in person on two occassions when she visited adelaide.
in later years during the separation and divorce i was disappointed with the way she handled things but to be fair people can react in negative ways when hurt and bitter whent things had not turned out the way they hoped and dreamed. to grow up wanting to fall in love and live happily ever after and then to find out the person you want to be with forever(supposedly) never loved you would be heartbreaking. at the same time it must have been hard for both diana and charles to have the worlds media and the public speculating on their marriage. . i believe there was faults on both sides. i am happy for him and camilla that they have been able to find happiness at last together. while i understand the sympathy people had for william and harry through the separation and divorce i for one always felt sorry for camillas children. they are not much older than the princes and it must have been very hard on them to see their mother vilified in the media and beyond especially hearing sordid details and untruths and there were many! at the end of the day i believe if diana was still alive she would have moved on and perhaps found happiness with dodi or someone else and had the baby daughter she always wanted. sadly we will never know what could have been.

[Warren]

Welcome to the Forums adelgal_36, and thank you for sharing your thoughts.

[adelgal_36]

thankyou you warren for your welcoming comment. i look forward to reading comments and interesting opinions and making a contribution as well. happy new year!

[maryshawn]

I thought about taping as you did but in the end wasn't able to do so (we were at a cottage w/o the equipment). But, like you, I think, even had I done so, I likely would have a hard time looking at the tapes now....It was a very painful, dreadfully confusing time.....I wonder how many of us who live in different time zones got up at 2 AM or whatever to see the funeral. I believe I once read millions and millions of people tuned in that day. I know the networks in the US had almost non-stop coverage with all their anchors flying in.

Originally Posted by Toledo

That's wise advice but in forums as in life having a strong opinion makes some people become quite a pest in their conduct toward other people. A diferrence of opinion is viewed more like a challenge than just a plain observation from someone else's point of view. And that's when good manners end up being thrown off the window and threads become chaotic.

I have to say, and I speak for some of my PM pals around, that we appreciate having here around the clock Administrators and Moderators and in every time zone possible. That leave us to be at ease in here.

But back to Diana. I like her. Nothing was more heart breaking than that night her dead was announced past midnight and the funeral ceremonies the whole week, that I recorded on two 8 hrs tapes and I haven't seen since that day.

[dakodas]

I have always had ambivalent feelings about Diana. As a child I soaked up information about her like a sponge because my sister was such a fan. She practiced doing the "Shy Di" look and got her hair cut so she could look up through the fringe! Everyone says she was a good mother yet at the same time she was enormously self-absorbed and self-important. She spent her free time in the last years of her marriage and then life-having her cards read, her fortune told and her colon irrigated. Oh, and plotting her every move to look good, better than Charles,to be understood, to be the Queen of Hearts, to have influence. The list could continue but it could go on forever. She reportedly phoned friends up to five times a day to discuss her speeches, her image, her role, her HAIR...ah, the agony!

[Warren]

Originally Posted by dakodas

... The list could continue but it could go on forever. She reportedly phoned friends up to five times a day to discuss her speeches, her image, her role, her HAIR...ah, the agony!

Let's just say she could be very 'high-maintenance'.

[dakodas]

Originally Posted by Warren

Let's just say she could be very 'high-maintenance'.

Agreed. Frankly, I have been accused of as much.

[maryshawn]

I attribute all of this--which does seem excessive; if we can believe Simone Simmons, she once had a 12 hour conversation over the cell phone with Diana--to deep insecurity. I think many of her relationships with friends suffered when she felt they could not give back and spend all their time listening to her. A few later said they just didn't have the time and felt it was frustrating to give her advice then watch her as she ignored it. She would be 44 now and I wonder if she would have come to terms with a lot of her issues and stopped being quite so high-maintenance. Her lasting friendships seem to be predicated on basically one thing: time. The people who made time for her and were available when she needed them lasted. The others fell by the wayside. But I can understand her reaching out to a point. When going through hard times, I will call or email others......until one or all of them reach out and "slap me" and say "enough already!" I always felt, as a Princess, she somehow felt she could get new friends--but it just isn't that easy..... Look at the ones who "stayed" and are now writing about her, in not always a flattering light.

Originally Posted by dakodas

I have always had ambivalent feelings about Diana. As a child I soaked up information about her like a sponge because my sister was such a fan. She practiced doing the "Shy Di" look and got her hair cut so she could look up through the fringe! Everyone says she was a good mother yet at the same time she was enormously self-absorbed and self-important. She spent her free time in the last years of her marriage and then life-having her cards read, her fortune told and her colon irrigated. Oh, and plotting her every move to look good, better than Charles,to be understood, to be the Queen of Hearts, to have influence. The list could continue but it could go on forever. She reportedly phoned friends up to five times a day to discuss her speeches, her image, her role, her HAIR...ah, the agony!