Reasons for disliking Diana?

[Smilla]

This is a mature discussion to help others understand why some people are not fans of hers and dont like her as much as others. Why would charles focus extra time on a dead women. The truth is revealed and her good work continues. Charles would have to have been seriously depressed to not move on with his life and focus on his now wife and kids. Diana is gone and is fading into history. Her work continues and that is all that matters.

Thanks for this balanced view!

 

[Oppie]

I enjoyed reading the other side of the story because a lot of stuff I haven't heard before and this is the side of the story that was never told.

 

[ysbel]

I've just deleted a lot of references to other threads and topics that have nothing to do whether one likes Diana or not. As Elspeth already mentioned, references to other contentious threads increases the chance that this one will become contentious and most of us want to avoid that.

Making a post asking moderators to close a thread also increases the chance that this thread will be contentious so please don't make any posts here asking us to close the thread. If you have a concern, please send us a private message.

ysbel
British forums moderator

 

[Saragli]

Wow ysbel has got all moderatery. Weird. Is there a pamphlete that comes along with being a moderator.LOL. I admire Diana for her work and being a great mother. I think she did a lot of good but there are reasons I dont like her. She exagerated her story and it is sad that after realizing it was a mistake there are people who still use the morton book and bashir interview against other royals. I would let it go if others did.

 

[Elspeth]

Wow ysbel has got all moderatery. Weird. Is there a pamphlete that comes along with being a moderator.LOL.

No, we just gave her a minor lobotomy...

 

[Saragli]

No, we just gave her a minor lobotomy...

Haha, funny. That made my day.

 

[ysbel]

Haha, funny. That made my day.

Elspeth forgot to tell you about the infusion of vampire's blood they give you in the initiation ceremony. Come to think of it, she forgot to tell me!

 

[Saragli]

haha, becoming a moderator sounds like loads of fun.

 

[corazon]

In the last year of her life, by all accounts, the Queen and Diana had a very good relationship, much like with Prince Charles, and things were changing rapidly for the better.

yes, is true, i read some tme 8I don't know if is true) taht cahrles said ''if she is happy i am happy too'' about diana and dodi affair.

 

[CasiraghiTrio]

I am not the biggest fan of Diana but I think it is bad to make a thread of why we not like her. She is dead and cant defend herself, so leave her alone in peace.

I agree. It's annoying when people either paint her as a saint or as some evil, calculating manipulative person. Why can't people just accept her for what she was, someone who could be great as a humanitarian, yet also could be crabby, cranky, tired, jet-lagged, annoyed, angry, sad, happy.... just like the rest of us? Diana was just a person. She was not Evil Cruilla d'evil. Nor was she Saint Diana. She was just Diana. People tend to be very understanding of the flaws of Prince Charles, granting him lenience for being selfish at times because of how he was raised. Why can't Diana have the same sort of slack? She was barely a grown woman when she was pushed into royal life. It took her years to "find herself" and figure out what she was about. She made many mistakes along the way.If she sometimes used the press for her public image, for power, it was because she was a single woman up against a very powerful system.

 

[ysbel]

People tend to be more understanding of the mistakes of the person they most identify with. Some identify more with Diana and some identify more with someone else.

 

[Saragli]

I think the reason people wont give Diana any slack, and this is why I still take out some of my fustration at Diana, is because some of her fans use her to hurt others. They use the Morton book and Bashir interview to get back at others and try to punish them. I admire Diana for her work and motherhood. She stood up to the old fashioned ways of raising children and did a great job with Charles raising the kids. But, her interviews and books were a huge mistake filled with overexagerations and lies. Diana realized that they were a mistake and moved on. She matured and developed a good relationship with Charles and the Queen. I would like to put Diana to a peacefull rest with her good works continuing but as long as people use one side of Diana to make life harder for the current Royal Family then it will very hard for people to stop disliking Diana. I accept her as a person and always have but it fustrates me when people still use her to be vindicive. She moved on and I would like the rest of the world to move on too.

 

[sara1981]

i dont hate Diana

im sure but Diana recalled HM Queen and Queen Mother in the taboilds all the times for more reasons and HM Queen dislike Diana very much.

 

[Saragli]

I believe the Queen tried to heal and mend her relationship with Diana after the divorce. She obviously saw the good that she could do and the asset she could be to the monarchy especially with the War of the Walses over. Sadly, she died before anything could come of it. Didn't Dianas mother say that, contrary to popular believe, the Queen and Diana got along very well and had a mutual respect for each other.

 

[Margrethe II]

the Queen and Diana got along very well and had a mutual respect for each other.

They most certainly did "PJ", a very deep respect for one another.

"MII"

 

[Saragli]

"PJ", I know it is something obvious and something I heard before but I am baffeled. Can you decifer it for me MII.

 

[Saragli]

Wow I am a idiot, only after reading it ten times did I get the "PJ" is me. I feel stupid.

 

[CasiraghiTrio]

I think the reason people wont give Diana any slack, and this is why I still take out some of my fustration at Diana, is because some of her fans use her to hurt others. They use the Morton book and Bashir interview to get back at others and try to punish them. I admire Diana for her work and motherhood. She stood up to the old fashioned ways of raising children and did a great job with Charles raising the kids. But, her interviews and books were a huge mistake filled with overexagerations and lies. Diana realized that they were a mistake and moved on. She matured and developed a good relationship with Charles and the Queen. I would like to put Diana to a peacefull rest with her good works continuing but as long as people use one side of Diana to make life harder for the current Royal Family then it will very hard for people to stop disliking Diana. I accept her as a person and always have but it fustrates me when people still use her to be vindicive. She moved on and I would like the rest of the world to move on too.

I don't think everyone who admires Diana is out to get "the other side". It's not so black and white for everyone. I love Charles and Diana equally. For me, they both made terrible mistakes and they were immature and foolish in their own ways for their own reasons. I cut them both a great deal of slack. For Charles, I think his upbringing is the fault for some weaknesses, and for Diana, it was also a traumatic childhood, but she was also at disadvantage because of her age. I think the whole situation is very complicated and very grey. But for the most part, I think a lot of Diana's mistakes were made by a woman who felt pretty powerless in a world of very powerful people.

 

[Saragli]

I agree with you Casiraghi trio. But, there are still those few who wont give it up. They both had faults due to their childhood. They both moved on and that chapter ended with the divorce. Sadly, Diana wasnt able to continue her new chapter in life and it ended that night in Paris. She is gone in a better place and we should be happy that Charles was able to move on and continue his new chapter. We have to leave the pain in the past. Dwelling on it hampers the future. Look at the good the Royal Family is doing today. They are getting good publicity and there are many young royals to carry on the tourch and be good people and role models. To be good humans.

 

[CasiraghiTrio]

I agree with you Casiraghi trio. But, there are still those few who wont give it up. They both had faults due to their childhood. They both moved on and that chapter ended with the divorce. Sadly, Diana wasnt able to continue her new chapter in life and it ended that night in Paris. She is gone in a better place and we should be happy that Charles was able to move on and continue his new chapter. We have to leave the pain in the past. Dwelling on it hampers the future. Look at the good the Royal Family is doing today. They are getting good publicity and there are many young royals to carry on the tourch and be good people and role models. To be good humans.

True. I guess bettina really hit the nail on the head when she said that we should not discuss Diana's faults here because she's not alive to defend herself. So I guess Diana deserves more slack than Charles for not being in a position to defend herself against the criticism. You're right, PJ. Charles is in his new chapter and he has the chance now to prove how he has grown up, evolved, and to make things better for himself, his sons, his new wife and , well, everyone, especially those directly impacted by his work. I'm so glad Charles can finally do something for himself. He spent so long doing things only because they were expected of him. Now he has actually chosen his partner instead of having her chosen for him.

 

[ysbel]

True. I guess bettina really hit the nail on the head when she said that we should not discuss Diana's faults here because she's not alive to defend herself. So I guess Diana deserves more slack than Charles for not being in a position to defend herself against the criticism.

Well I know it was four pages ago but I read a very good reply to that very question that betina brought up.

Well, I'm not sure how relevant it is that she's dead and can't defend herself because even if she was alive she'd be very unlikely to show up here and respond to critics. She also put her side of things out in the public domain for several years before her death, so it isn't as though we were unfamiliar with her side of things.

 

[branchg]

The problem was never with The Queen, who was actually one of Diana's strongest supporters, but with the Queen Mother and Prince Philip, who both later came to believe that Diana was destroying the monarchy and betrayed the Queen's trust. But, by all accounts, The Queen firmly stood her ground and insisted the Princess deserved support and understanding as the mother of a future king.

 

[CasiraghiTrio]

The problem was never with The Queen, who was actually one of Diana's strongest supporters, but with the Queen Mother and Prince Philip, who both later came to believe that Diana was destroying the monarchy and betrayed the Queen's trust. But, by all accounts, The Queen firmly stood her ground and insisted the Princess deserved support and understanding as the mother of a future king.

You really think the relationship between Philip and Diana was as antagonistic as has been reported on? I suppose I may be more unwilling than many to believe Philip is a monster because I admire so many things about him and I truly want to believe the best of him, so I resist those reports that say he hated Diana and vice versa. I don't know about the Queen Mum. She is very enigmatic to me. I don't understand her at all. On the one hand, there's the domineering Queen Mother. On the other hand, there's the grandmother who coddled Prince Charles. So the reports about her conflict each other so much.

 

[branchg]

I never said Prince Philip was a monster nor do I believe he "hated" Diana. If anything, I think he tried very hard to be supportive of the Princess and, according to Burrell's book, he later came to see how her view of the situation was certainly valid as well.

I think the Queen Mother was very enthusiastic about Diana at first because she was, after all, very fond of Lady Fermoy and had great expectations for the marriage. When those expectations later turned out to be Victorian, rather than suitable to modern reality, she rapidly turned sour on the Princess. She blamed her for not keeping Charles happy, as if that were totally up to Diana to do, and had very little sympathy for Diana's problems and related behavior.

It is clear from many accounts, however, that Prince Philip and the Queen Mother later came to share the view that Diana was a great threat to the standing to the monarchy and greatly distrusted her media manipulations. By the time Panorama aired, they were both finished with her.

 

[CasiraghiTrio]

I never said Prince Philip was a monster nor do I believe he "hated" Diana. If anything, I think he tried very hard to be supportive of the Princess and, according to Burrell's book, he later came to see how her view of the situation was certainly valid as well.

I think the Queen Mother was very enthusiastic about Diana at first because she was, after all, very fond of Lady Fermoy and had great expectations for the marriage. When those expectations later turned out to be Victorian, rather than suitable to modern reality, she rapidly turned sour on the Princess. She blamed her for not keeping Charles happy, as if that were totally up to Diana to do, and had very little sympathy for Diana's problems and related behavior.

It is clear from many accounts, however, that Prince Philip and the Queen Mother later came to share the view that Diana was a great threat to the standing to the monarchy and greatly distrusted her media manipulations. By the time Panorama aired, they were both finished with her.

All of those are very good points. I guess the Queen Mother was not anticipating Diana to have postnatal depression, bulimia or any emotional problems for that matter. A 19-year-old girl from a balanced and healthy background may have been able to slide into the royal family and adjust to public life with ease. I think Camilla certainly would've handled it better. By all accounts, Camilla seems to have been raised by loving parents and to have had lots of support in her life. Poor Diana. No one seems to have anticipated what being Princess of Wales all of a sudden would do to a girl whose self-esteem was non-existent to start off with. I think, in reference to this thread topic, most people like Diana, but sadly, she was her worst critic. No one was harder on Diana than Diana herself.

I saw an old post of someone just now. I don't remember who said it, but the post said that Diana should have sought help for her emotional problems. Didn't she? She had many doctors. She had a psychiatrist (or two) and she saw an eating disorder specialist.
She did seek help, I believe. Professional help.

 

[love_cc]

Camilla has a much healthier character than Charles or Diana. Camilla keeps a good character at most times. She is important to Charles because she makes up the flaws in his character. That's why Charles wants to be with Camilla because he needs her optimism, understanding and stablity. Camilla can always calm his emotional swings and cheer him up.

I just felt sorry for Prince Charles and Diana. Both of them are badly affected by their miserable childhood and potential character flaws. Their personalities are huge challenges for them to live with each other. Charles needs a more matured and loving wife who can put him above everything even herself. That's what Camilla is about. Diana broke her slience about her marriage and it was no point of return for her with Charles in a marriage. Queen and Duke tried to see Charles's faults but Queen Mother wanted to protect Charles from any harm. That's a big difference. Actually, I think Camilla is too protective of Charles and Charles relies on her protection of emotional harms.

 

[ysbel]

I guess the Queen Mother was not anticipating Diana to have postnatal depression, bulimia or any emotional problems for that matter. A 19-year-old girl from a balanced and healthy background may have been able to slide into the royal family and adjust to public life with ease.

You bring up a good point there CasiraghiTrio. I think a lot of Diana's hurts originally came from her childhood but its harder to blame your own family for your feelings of dejection than it is to blame a husband who is not caring.

The Royal Family was definitely not expecting Diana to have these problems and with Diana coming from the family she did, it amazes me that they weren't. A lot of Diana's behavior was very similar to the rest of her family - her parents had a public and nasty divorce, Sarah, who Charles had been dating, had been battling eating disorders, and the whole family was rather impulsive.

One doesn't have to look that far to see why Diana did the things she did; she learned it from her parents and older siblings.

 

[CasiraghiTrio]

Queen and Duke tried to see Charles's faults but Queen Mother wanted to protect Charles from any harm. That's a big difference.

So you think that the Queen and Duke of Edinburgh (I'll try to get into the habit of using the correct titles!
being two very pragmatic people, took a practical, problem-solving approach, trying to figure out where both sides went wrong? While the Queen Mother took a more emotion-based approach and jumped to Charles' defense?
That is a very interesting possibility.

 

[una]

It is clear from many accounts, however, that Prince Philip and the Queen Mother later came to share the view that Diana was a great threat to the standing to the monarchy and greatly distrusted her media manipulations. By the time Panorama aired, they were both finished with her.

The Queen had a duty to ensure the smooth succession of the crown to Diana's child. She had to keep a positive working relationship with her. If Diana had got the idea that the Queen had turned against her, think what she might have done. I think that is the difference between the Queen and her husband/mother. She didn't have the luxury of disliking Diana except in her most private self.

 

[Saragli]

If Diana had got the idea that the Queen had turned against her, think what she might have done.

Thats another reason why people turned against her. She was vindictive and dangerous. You had to stay on her good side. But, I think Diana and the Queen had a genuine relationship after the divorce. Here is my conclusion from what I learned from the board. Diana had a tough childhood which lead to emotional instability. She was very dangerous and did stupid things that hurt the monarchy and her kids. She realized the mistake, finally divorced, and moved on with her life. Also, it may not be Diana herself that turns off many people, but some of her "fans" who use one side of Diana to hurt others. If everyone let her go to a peacefull rest than the everything would be fine.