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  #221  
Old 06-06-2016, 04:45 PM
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She was in a very difficult position as regards partnership. She was legally married to Charles until just a year before her death. Unlike Charles who had a steady long term affair with Cam, she had to meet a new man and try and work soemthing out with him if she wanted to remarry or have more children or a new life. And in that sitaution, "Nice" men would problaby shy off from her, feeling that she hada lot of problems and was in a very worked up state mentially and emotionally and they would not want to get involved. Hoare was married and didn't want to leave his kids and he probably reasoned that since Di was married still, it wasnt' at all clear if she'd be free to marry him.. and in the end loyalty to his wife and kids and self interest kept him in his marriage. Hewitt was selfish through and through. A man like Hasnat Khan, coming from outside the UK, was probably a bit more willing to take a risk, but he was sure his family would not want him to marry a western woman.. so he was not truly willing to commit to her. I dont blame her for spinning her dreams and trying to turn them into reality...
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  #222  
Old 06-06-2016, 10:57 PM
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It's in Burrell's book. She sent him to talk to a priest IIRC.

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I've not heard about her consulting a priest about a marriage but to be honest, I'd not put it past her.
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  #223  
Old 06-07-2016, 04:59 PM
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Well I woudnt entirely believe what Burrell says. However, I think It is possible that she did this, hoping to persuade Khan to get married..
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  #224  
Old 07-03-2016, 08:20 PM
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Hasnat Khan objected to her looking for work for him. There was a fightened little girl inside Diana that couldn`t handle what she saw as rejection. Even if it wasn`t rejection, that`s how she saw it.
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  #225  
Old 07-03-2016, 08:39 PM
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If Diana insisted on doing things against Hasnat's wishes then he was smart not to marry her. Manipulation, pushiness, trying to interfere in your boyfriends career are all warning signs. When Diana insists on visiting his family was this before or after he introduced them to her? It boggles the mind that a woman could think it is OK to intrude on her boyfriends family without even being formally introduced. And yes I recall she tried to interfere in Hewitt's career as well and the fact that she couldn't or refused to understand that a mans career does not revolve around her is another sign that it wouldn't work out with Hasnat. I can just imagine that if Diana did not mature she would eventually want him to give up his surgical career. I believe he did love her, but he has the maturity to know it wouldn't work out.
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  #226  
Old 07-04-2016, 03:13 PM
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well who can say? SHe might have worked out with Hasnat Khan but IMO HE was not willilng to compromise, because he was unable to break free from his cultural background. He feared his family's not being happy if he married a woman who wasn't Muslim/Pakistani, of "good birth" etc. But he married, some years ago and it didn't work out.
I think that Diana DID try to compromise, wanting him to get a job with Ch Barnard in S Africa, where she had her brother, she was near enough to the UK to go and see the boys and the lifestyle was comfortable.. and she would have problaby done some charity work. And Khan would still have had his heart surgery. but he wasn't willing to try making some changes in how he wanted to live. I don't entirely blame him, as I think he was a victim of the expectations of his traditional culture, but maybe he should have given it a go.
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  #227  
Old 07-04-2016, 04:23 PM
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I certainly think that Hasnat Khan would have been the ideal sort of person for Diana - someone who had his own career, a busy professional who would focus on his work (and Diana herself of-course) but would not see the limelight or want to become some kind of celebrity himself. His cultural background would, to me, have been perfectly acceptable had Diana been acceptable to it.

I think of the all the gentlemen friends she had, Mr Khan seemed to be the most "steady" none-controversial of the lot!
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  #228  
Old 07-04-2016, 07:06 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jacknch View Post
I certainly think that Hasnat Khan would have been the ideal sort of person for Diana - someone who had his own career, a busy professional who would focus on his work (and Diana herself of-course) but would not see the limelight or want to become some kind of celebrity himself. His cultural background would, to me, have been perfectly acceptable had Diana been acceptable to it.

I think of the all the gentlemen friends she had, Mr Khan seemed to be the most "steady" none-controversial of the lot!
I think he's a very fine man, in many ways... but I dont know what woudl have happened. SHE was certianly willing to learn about his religion and culture and adapt to it, but he seemed to find it impossible to buck his family's wish that he marry the sort of woman they wanted.
Perhaps he was right to fear the media circus around Diana, that maybe she was not able to give up and of course, perhaps she could not have adjusted to being the wife of a doctor.. but I wish they'd given it a try. His marriage failed, and Diana started a holiday romance, with Dodi, probalby just to amuse herself and perhaps to try and send a message to Khan that she had another boyfriend and it ended so tragically...
Khan was very dedicated to his work, but i think that if Di had still had someting of a career in charity work herself, she might have adapted to his being busy at times, and going away or doing charity work. But if the press had still pursued them, I dont think that Khan would have been able to handle it.
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  #229  
Old 07-04-2016, 08:03 PM
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Originally Posted by Denville View Post
I think he's a very fine man, in many ways... but I dont know what woudl have happened. SHE was certianly willing to learn about his religion and culture and adapt to it, but he seemed to find it impossible to buck his family's wish that he marry the sort of woman they wanted.
Perhaps he was right to fear the media circus around Diana, that maybe she was not able to give up and of course, perhaps she could not have adjusted to being the wife of a doctor.. but I wish they'd given it a try. His marriage failed, and Diana started a holiday romance, with Dodi, probalby just to amuse herself and perhaps to try and send a message to Khan that she had another boyfriend and it ended so tragically...
Khan was very dedicated to his work, but i think that if Di had still had someting of a career in charity work herself, she might have adapted to his being busy at times, and going away or doing charity work. But if the press had still pursued them, I dont think that Khan would have been able to handle it.
I don't think that Khan's family really had any influence on whether or not he and Diana would marry as one of his family members has stated that there was really no encouragement/discouragement on the part of the family where Hasnat and Diana were involved.

I do agree that out of all of Diana's men, Khan was probably the most down to earth, realistic and stable. He didn't go into the medical profession with all the years of study to specialize in heart surgery to scratch it all for another position elsewhere even if it seemed to be a more "high profile" practice. The fact that Diana sought out other places for him to work without his input on it shows manipulation to how she wanted things to be. Khan preferred to be right where he was. Whereas Khan didn't like the idea of limelight, I think Diana would have been unhappy without it.

As far as Diana vacationing with the Al-Fayeds and the rumors of a possible romance with Dodi, it was too short lived to really know for a fact what she wanted out of it or whatever motives were going through her head at the time.
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  #230  
Old 07-05-2016, 05:27 AM
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I certianly DO think that Khan's family had an influence on his behaviour. OK I think that he also did love surgery adnd wanted to stay in London (frankly I cant imagine why wehn he could have worked somewhere more sunny and pleasant) and he was right to be cautious about Diana.. but a lot of it was also that his family DID have expectations. One of thte family is quoted as saying that they wanted him to marry a girl of good birth, from Pakistan and a Muslim.
I think that he did marry later to try and agree with his family's wishes but the marriage didn't last long.
I realy do find it hard to agree that diana was "manipulating" him. She wanted him, she wanted them to marry, adn she hoped that they could find a way to be togehter. She was trying to compromise.
I think she woudl have preferred the USA if she did not live in England. (she also I think talked of France..).. but for Khans' sake...she looked for places they could live, such as S Africa, which would be pleasant, sunny, had a hospital where he could work, and be near to the UK for her to go home to see her sons. If he wasn't willing to do anything to make the relationship permanent he shoudl have completely cut off contact with her - but it was she who finished the relationship.
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  #231  
Old 07-05-2016, 11:44 AM
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Please note that several post have been deleted or edited as we need to stay on the topic of Hasnat Khan. Discussion about Dodi Al Fayed can be made here: Diana and Dodi (and Tony Blair) and discussion about James Hewitt can be made here: Diana and James Hewitt
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  #232  
Old 07-05-2016, 12:28 PM
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wouldn't it be easier to have one thread "Diana, lovers and friends" for all posts regarding mr Kahn, mr Fayed and mr Hewitt?
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  #233  
Old 07-05-2016, 03:49 PM
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I think it's an open question whether a second marriage could have been achieved, given the nature of the tabloid press in the 1990's. (Unless she pulled a Jackie Onassis kind of pairing, which I think Mr Fayed was aiming for).

IMO it is unlikely that Diana would ever have re-married after her divorce since she had no interest in being a private person. Had she really withdrawn from public life, I suspect a second marriage would have been possible, though even then, not probable.
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  #234  
Old 07-05-2016, 06:05 PM
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I think she was very obviously looking for someone to remarry. Why would she have gone to such lengths to get to see Khan's family and talk to C Barnard about getting him a job, if she didn't want to marry him??
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  #235  
Old 07-23-2016, 03:49 AM
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I think Diana was left with terrible insecurities from her childhood. Her mother leaving the family home when Diana was only small was a devastating blow.


Nor could the extremely busy surgeon Hasnet Khan, though their romance had other issues. I am a great fan of Diana, but I am not surprised really that everyone from James Hewitt to Charles to Khan and others found her high-maintenance emotional needs exhausting at times, lovely though she was.
I think that 90% of it was due to her mother leaving and the marital rows.. Not all children would be so hurt by that betrayal but Diana was.. and her father then shut himself away a lot and left her feeling more isolated and lost. tehn he married a woman that his children detested. So it is no wonder that she was needy.. I think that of all her affairs, Khan was one fo the nicer men and had he been able to look after her and live with her, had he been abel to ignore his familys wish for him to marry a woman of their culture, it might have worked out. I think she did want a lot of attention, but I believe that with therapy and doing her own charity wrok she would have learned to cope with her husband being busy elsewhere at times..
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  #236  
Old 07-23-2016, 04:30 PM
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Dr. Khan was the only one of Diana's lovers extra-marital lovers who seemed to have any sort of humanitarian interest. They had that in common. Diana appeared to have plans for further public work, and so I don't think she would have allowed herself to fade out of the spotlight. She had a lot of energy, and so I think that she would have been bored with a quiet life.
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  #237  
Old 07-24-2016, 02:12 AM
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I think she loved her charity work, but she was a bit fitful after the divorce, because I think she was really worn out with all the strain she had bene through..and she found it hard to commit to things. And maybe with a happier private life, another child, she would have been less in need of the charity work to make up for the unhappiness of her private life and marriage. In fact, I wonder if she'd have been better if she had been doing charity work on a lower level, less of the stress of public appearances and reporters and so on. Perhaps on a committee of a hospital and visiting sick people one to one.. or working in a nursery or homeless centre...
But it might have been hard to adjust to that, after being the one who visited "through the front door" and was photographed..and even if she had remarried, there would be security concerns..
but I agree that Khan was the only one who seemed to have an interest in charity, or "doing good" and I think thats' what she liked about him.. that he had a job that was about helping and caring for people..
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