Diana's Relationships with The Queen and Other Members of the Royal Family

[Mermaid1962]

I would say that the same was true for Canada.

 

[mum]

I know that I'm a bit late with this reply but was reading the whole thread only today. Also I might get my post deleted as this is nothing to do with the purpose of the thread, but I just cannot let it be!!! Princess Margaret was not allowed to marry the love of her life as he was divorced. Dear BeatrixFan, maybe you can explain this better than me.

 

[Mermaid1962]

Princess Margaret was allowed to marry Peter Townsend, but she would have had to give up her Royal privileges and income. She chose her status.

 

[iowabelle]

No, Margaret made the choice. It's hard to live off of love when you're used to having a substantial amount of money in your bank account.

 

[Roslyn]

Margaret would not have had to lose her privileges and income, only her place in the succession. I am not, however, certain that the government actually told her of their secret plans. Eden drew up plan to let Margaret marry lover Townsend - UK Politics, UK - The Independent

 

[Skydragon]

She was, I understand told that at the very least she would lose her civil list monies and all royal privileges. It is easy to forget that this was at a time when divorce was still very much frowned upon.

 

[ghost_night554]

It's been said The Queen had serious reservations about Diana from the beginning, including the fact she was very young, hadn't really done much with her life yet and was known to be quite willful. But she didn't press her case and did like Diana personally, so the marriage proceeded.

I think The Queen was very sympathetic to Diana and made a lot of effort to accommodate her (some have said too much), but at the end of the day, the monarchy had to come first. Diana became very bitter and angry and lost her sense of perspective and that damaged the monarchy.

I think I agree with you, I was thinking about this a few nights ago and really I believe in the beginning from what I've read/seen that the Queen and the Duke we're both protective of Diana, I think they mostly got along well, we saw with the letters that even during the War of the Wales Phillip and The Queen we're still trying to help out Diana. Despite what Diana may have thought at the time I think the Queen felt it wasn't her right to interfere in the marriage but I think she always cared. Unfortunately when they finally did interfere it was too late. Although I think the one thing that changed it all was when Diana went and did Panorama. I don't think they hated her after that cause I feel hate it a very strong word to use but I feel that they were utterly disappointed that she would go and do such a thing. I'm sure as we all were they were shocked and to some degree very sad over her death I mean she was their grand children's mother. I wouldn't know what they think of her now after all this stuff has come out but that's my two cents about their relationship during the marriage. I don't know what the Queen knew about the marriage and what she didn't while it was going on so that's as far as I can comment.

 

[Lady Ann]

I know that I'm a bit late with this reply but was reading the whole thread only today. Also I might get my post deleted as this is nothing to do with the purpose of the thread, but I just cannot let it be!!! Princess Margaret was not allowed to marry the love of her life as he was divorced. Dear BeatrixFan, maybe you can explain this better than me.

I know that he was divorced and had two small children. I don't need it explained to me! I am awear of the veiw of divorced people and the Royal family at this point in time (after the Duke of Windsor). She still chose to give him up to keep her place in line to the throne and her money(which at the time she thought she would lose) and I only mentioned this on this thread because it is about Diana's relationshiops with the members of the Royal family and as BeatrixFan had pointed out Margaret did not approve of Diana's actions and thought that she damaged the RF but took no account IMO to her own actions when she was younger! tMy opinion was that I found them very much alike both getting meida spot- light not always for the greatest news stories, and other common factors I feel they shared. You don't have to agree with me and I respect that but like I stated it is IMO.

 

[branchg]

They never hated her. The Queen was very sympathetic and protective of Diana until she blew it with her Panorama antics. At that point, she had gone too far and lost the support of The Queen.

Princess Margaret was also supportive until the interview aired, after which she wrote Diana a frank letter expressing her anger and disappointment, stating The Princess had let everyone down and was unable to make even a small sacrifice for the sake of the monarchy.

 

[sirhon11234]

Well its good that the Princess of Wales and the Queen had a much better relationship by the Princess' death.

 

[georgiea]

The Queen and Diana had a civil relationship after the Panorama Interview for the sake of the grandchildren. Before that TV interview the relationship with Diana, Princess of Wales and the Queen and Duke was in patch up mode for the marriage of Diana and Charles. I think the Queen and the Duke really were worried about the princes and the monarchy.

 

[Skydragon]

The Queen and Diana had a civil relationship after the Panorama Interview for the sake of the grandchildren. Before that TV interview the relationship with Diana, Princess of Wales and the Queen and Duke was in patch up mode for the marriage of Diana and Charles.

So we are led to believe, by some or it could have been that HM really liked Diana and made every effort, like Philip to show her affection?

 

[killer_bee]

Well a few years after the wedding, their relationship wasn't very good. Diana went against alot of protocole 'rules', which didn't please the Queen but most of all Prince Philip. He's a very tough man, go-by-the-book man. All the contrary of Diana. I believe that by their differences they couldn't get along very well...

Yes it seems that Andrew and Diana got on quite well
Prince Philp didn't get on with Diana

 

[Madame Royale]

Prince Philip and Diana did get on rather well considering. They shared a correspondance even after the divorce and although at times there was stalemate and were less than 'sugary' in what it was they were compelled to say; they remained in touch and had a good deal of affection for one another.

Diana respected Philip, and Philip tried his best to empathise with Diana, and she appreciated it (as I recall having read numerous times).

 

[Catherine Helvin]

My understanding on the relationship between Diana and the other royals is:

a) The Royal Family doesn't take easily to outsiders, ie, anyone not born into the family. Royalty hates competition from any direction whatsoever because virtually from birth, they've been used to occupying the limelight and have taken it for granted so when Diana came along and eclipsed them all almost overnight and apparently without any effort on her part, they didn't like it at all.

b) The Queen is a countrywoman at heart but Diana was more a town/city person. It has often been said that there was mutual antipathy between the Queen and Diana but that's not true; it was nothing to do with antipathy at all, it's just that they were incompatible.

c) Diana was a very modern-minded woman and she found most of the other royals too remote, too absorbed in themselves, too aware of their status and too insensitive to the plight of others who were less fortunate than themselves. She didn't like being dictated to and found the system too restrictive.

 

[wedmonds]

Rather you want to realize it or not. Everyone on here defending Diana should take a minute or two to realize that she is not the Angel that she was made out to be by the press. She had her ways also behind closed doors. It is just a shame that when they were getting divorced that the press took the side of Diana. As though she was being mistreated when in reality she was being a bit harsh towards the royal family. She had her ways as well I am sure. They're is two sides to every story. And no one wants to hear Charles's story. Or hear the royal family's views on the way Diana TREATED THEM. She was no Angel. But a ordinary woman who signed in on the wrong marriage. May she rest in peace and may everyone please stop talking about this woman and praising her as though she is Christ. She was far from that ladies and gentlemen! LOL

 

[sirhon11234]

Rather you want to realize it or not. Everyone on here defending Diana should take a minute or two to realize that she is not the Angel

I think there are a majority of people on this board who already know that.

 

[Zonk]

Let's not debate whether or not Diana was or was not an Angel.

Everyone is entitled to their opinion of Diana whether its pro or con.

We can certainly talk about her relationship with other members of the British Royal Family without going down that road again.

Zonk
British Forums Moderator

 

[wedmonds]

I think that Diana had a relationship with the royal family that was very cordial, but I don't think she loved any of them really. I think that after you divorce your husband you divorce that family as well. Your children are still members of that family, but you aren't. That is what I think. I think that you should look at it as though they are everyday people. Rather they are royal or not. I think that divorce works that same in any family. I however do apologize if I have stepped on anyone's toes. I think that Diana was a wonderful person, who didn't fit into royalty. Charles was better off marrying a Princess in another country. (Although I think he was related to most of them in Europe), he should have found some royal woman to marry who would have been more prepared for the job (Princess of Wales), and it would have been easier for the family.

What people fail to see is that being royalty is not something that can be married into (as though it may seem). It is a way of being. That can only be learned from BIRTH. That is why royalty is different from commoners and other members of society. Diana, Princess of Wales wasn't brought up like Charles or any royal for that matter. So how could you assume that she would be able to maintain a good relationship with members of the royal family. When in reality she is NOTHING LIKE THEM. I think that is the real reason that Diana did not fit into that family and that is the reason that she had such a hard time. This is what I THINK. I am not saying that any of this is known fact.

 

[MARG]

I think there are a few Crown Princesses in Europe that would give the lie to your statement that you have to be born royal to be really accepted as royal.
Mette-Marit Maxima, Mary, Letizia, etc. seem to be living well adjusted lives for all they are commoners, wives and popular with their husbands families and their future subjects!

 

[Mermaid1962]

Elizabeth Bowes-Lyon seemed to get along quite well with her in-laws as well. Her husband's parents apparently were totally accepting of her, and the only negative comment seemed to be from Princess Marina, and later, the Duchess of Windsor.

 

[Iluvbertie]

Elizabeth Bowes-Lyon seemed to get along quite well with her in-laws as well. Her husband's parents apparently were totally accepting of her, and the only negative comment seemed to be from Princess Marina, and later, the Duchess of Windsor.

And she hadn't been raised in regular contact with the royals the way Diana had, but she, and Alice of Gloucester managed quite well.

Sophie also seems to be coping very well so it seems that it isn't the royal family that is the problem but the individuals concerned and the way they fit into the royal family (this is not putting the blame on Diana and Sarah but rather saying that there were problems both ways).

The royals have had no real problems with the majority of people who married in - only with one definitely and one possibly (Sarah has never really indicated a problem with the family but with the staff around the royals).

 

[Mermaid1962]

And we mustn't forget Captain Mark Phillips. His marriage with Princess Anne broke down, but we haven't heard about him having problems with the family per se. Prince Charles was supposed to have said that he was "like fog, thick and wet," but there's no law saying that we have to always love everything about our in-laws...although I've been very fortunate in that respect. I think that it comes down to the people involved in the marriages, and not the families into which they marry--unless the family is horribly, horribly disfunctional and interferes with the marriage. The main criticism of the Queen is that she didn't interfere enough with her children's marriages, which I don't think is fair.

The royals have had no real problems with the majority of people who married in - only with one definitely and one possibly (Sarah has never really indicated a problem with the family but with the staff around the royals).

 

[Al_bina]

... [snipped]
What people fail to see is that being royalty is not something that can be married into (as though it may seem). It is a way of being. That can only be learned from BIRTH. That is why royalty is different from commoners and other members of society. Diana, Princess of Wales wasn't brought up like Charles or any royal for that matter. So how could you assume that she would be able to maintain a good relationship with members of the royal family. When in reality she is NOTHING LIKE THEM. I think that is the real reason that Diana did not fit into that family and that is the reason that she had such a hard time. This is what I THINK. I am not saying that any of this is known fact.

I have to partially agree with you. Indeed, a Princess has got a much better understanding about intricacies and limitations associated with the royal life. The case of the late Diana, Princess of Wales, is slightly different. Despite initial troubles, she did a decent job as a Crown Princess. Belonging to the British nobility, Lady Diana Spenser had a good idea about the way British royal family functioned. At the same time, a complex amalgam of personal issues and outside factors prevented her from saving face by preserving the marriage.

 

[Mermaid1962]

Exactly. She did her job of being Princess of Wales beautifully.

Belonging to the British nobility, Lady Diana Spenser had a good idea about the way British royal family functioned. At the same time, a complex amalgam of personal issues and outside factors prevented her from saving face by preserving the marriage.

 

[Katrianna]

I agree, Diana, as the Princess of Wales, did a great job and brought popularity back to the Royal Family. We have to remember that when Diana became engaged to Charles and then married, she was only 19 and then 20 years old at the time. An overwhelming responsibility was placed on her at a very young age. I know I couldn't have done such a task, but she managed to come through with flying colors even after some shaky moments.
I've always read that Diana had a warm relationship with the Queen and Prince Philip, Andrew and Edward. Anne may have been different because I believe she's a no nonsense personality who has little time for chit chat and Diana and Margaret had common interests in ballet and music.
I do believe that the relationships changed when Diana gave the Panorama interview and the family disapproved her "airing the dirty laundry" as it were, plus however a family may fuss at each other, when they believe they are being smirched, they circle the wagons. Margaret was very furious and refused to have anymore to do with Diana.
It's hindsight, but if she hadn't done the interview, her status would have remained favorable for her, but it's water under the bridge now.

 

[Dierna23]

I agree, Diana, as the Princess of Wales, did a great job and brought popularity back to the Royal Family.

Not to go off topic, but was the British Royal Family really that unpopular before Diana appeared on the scene? I would rather assume that she became popular because she was a member of the British Royal Family.

However, I think Princess Diana had quite a good relationship with the Duchess of Kent, right? I always wondered how the relationship with the Duke has been, but to judge from pictures - especially from Wimbledon - I think they also shared quite a friendly relationship to each other.

 

[Zonk]

The BRF was never unpopular...I just think that Diana's entrance in the family brought the family to a new level of popularity. Much as the Queen Mother when the Duchess of York did for the Windsors. Just a new level of admirers, more press interest, etc. I hate to say it but I believe everyone knows it to be true....Youth...Beauty....Wealth...Glamour sells every time. That is why the British press was so fascinated with Diana (and the young Duchess of York, Princess Marina when she was newly married as well as the new Queen Elizabeth II).

From what I read, Diana did get on with the Duchess of Kent (Katharine). I think Katharine's estrangement from the Duke (which had been gradual until Diana's death) took new meaning after her death. In the Duchess of Kent book, the author mentions that Katharine felt some of the same things that Diana felt in her marriage. No support from the BRF when she married into it, no compassion from the DoK when she was experiencing problems, the press heavy interest, etc.

In conversation with Elspeth a while back, she mentioned that the press interest in Katharine, Duchess of Kent back in the day was VERY SIMILAR to the press interest in Diana. There was a lot of focus on her youth, her energy, her looks and cltohes.

 

[Katrianna]

I didn't choose my words correctly above. The Royal Family was never unpopular, however, when Diana appeared, interest in the Royal Family soared because many in the press considered a breath of fresh air to a family that had become rather boring. She was a fresh face and energy.

 

[Mermaid1962]

Yes, I think that I'd have to agree with you. Although the Queen's image was present on money and on portraits in public places, I wasn't really interested in the monarchy until Diana came along. When I started following her, then I became more interested in the Royal Family; and I'm still interested in the Royal Family now, 12 years after Diana's death.