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  #301  
Old 08-02-2013, 12:30 PM
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Originally Posted by vkrish View Post
Diana as well could NEVER give and care. She was as ME FIRST as the family you mentioned. Unless she married a 70-year old billionaire with 3 exes ad 5 kids, who has absolutely nothing to expect from her except for being an arm-candy, no marriage would have been "wonderful" with her..
And you know all this how?
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  #302  
Old 08-02-2013, 04:15 PM
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I tend to agree with Vkrish post #300.

Diana responded in a positive way when meeting patients, landmine victims, homeless and in return she received uncritical "love". Children give unconditional love and she responded in a the same way.

Adult relationships are not just about romantic love; they come with the give and take, patience, disagreements, humour, talking, interests, problems, sex, and ultimately compromise.

I don't think she really understood that and the fact that she fell for men with high levels of commitment to other interests - royal duties, medicine, military - was always going to cause her issues. Dodi's interest seemed to be just her. Which may have been working but the irony is, I think she would have got bored.

JMO from a distance. I have never "followed" Diana but I don't dislike her either.
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  #303  
Old 08-02-2013, 06:30 PM
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Diana relating to others

I agree with Vkrish. I don't think Diana was able to have relationships with people with whom she was on a equal basis. She demanded 100% control of the relationship. Otherwise, she would end it with no discussion or give any reason to the other person what they had done to earn her ire.

And sometimes, she would go on a vendetta against the other person. She was a dangerous enemy. Look at what happened to Charles. I think she couldn't tolerate being rejected and began a vicious campaign against him.

She was also awful to the people who worked for her. They had no true loyalty to her as a result. Patrick Jephson painted her in a very negative light.
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  #304  
Old 08-03-2013, 12:53 AM
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IMO, she wasn't in love with Dr. Khan, she just wanted a daughter.

Jemima's said Diana wanted to marry Khan and have a daughter.

Would she had been happy if she had another son or two?

Dr. Khan hadn't proposed but Diana was already making wedding plans.

Did she take into consideration his feelings/wishes?
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  #305  
Old 08-03-2013, 03:30 AM
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The broader context is infatuation with an intense focus (scarily intense as Oliver Hoare discovered). I'm sure there was more to Diana's interest in Dr Khan than just the desire for a daughter - that's too much an over-simplification where the real issues were much more complex. Dr Khan healed people - Diana found that extremely attractive. Combine the healer with "I want to be the Queen of peoples' hearts" and the request to Tony Blair for a non-defined unrestricted roving ambassador-type role and a whole new perspective opens. Hmm... Interesting stuff.
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  #306  
Old 08-04-2013, 12:21 PM
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She must of known that it wouldn't work out with Khan. He was a cardiothoracic surgeon. You don't become that type of doctor easily. And he was still in training when she met him. I am sure he was completely absorbed with his work, but couldn't resist having an affair with her. It is interesting that he was in his mid-30s and hadn't married yet. IMO, he wasn't a nice guy. He led her on for 2-3 years knowing he had no intention of marrying her. Poor Diana totally fell for him.

She had a sad ability to pick unavailable men, unsuitable men.
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  #307  
Old 08-04-2013, 12:34 PM
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She may have known on some level that it wasn't practical, but love/infatuation often overrides such considerations, and Diana seemed particularly inclined to get carried away with such things, I think.

It would've been difficult, I think, for her to find someone who was suitable, because of who she was.
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  #308  
Old 08-04-2013, 04:22 PM
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I suppose her choices including nice aristocratic men but maybe it would have been too close to Charles.
A billionaire like Ted Forstmann would have been awful. She would have been reduced to being a trophy wife.
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  #309  
Old 08-04-2013, 05:24 PM
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I just can't accept Khan as the love of Diana's life (oversimplification, as someone said).
I think he was just another fantasy figure for her, and in the end she realized they wouldn't work out.

(That's why I'm not looking forward to the movie, but I will probably see it anyway).
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  #310  
Old 08-04-2013, 05:58 PM
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Did she ever figure out that the relationship wouldnt work or was it just a case of him figuring out she would not fit in his world and breaking it off, and her attempts to keep it going not working on him. There were suggestions that she was just using Dodi to try and make the doctor jealous.
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  #311  
Old 08-04-2013, 06:35 PM
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Originally Posted by Binny2 View Post
IMO, he wasn't a nice guy. He led her on for 2-3 years knowing he had no intention of marrying her. Poor Diana totally fell for him.
She had a sad ability to pick unavailable men, unsuitable men.
Why should we think only from one side..
Maybe Khan made it clear right from beginning that they cannot marry, and still Diana was okay with that, and wanted them to be together as long as they can be.. And then they realised after a while that its done and over..
And for your last point, if someone in late 30s cant figure out who is unavailable/unsuitable for them, after a marriage and half dozen flings,I guess they can never figure out for their entire life.

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Originally Posted by NGalitzine View Post
Did she ever figure out that the relationship wouldnt work or was it just a case of him figuring out she would not fit in his world and breaking it off, and her attempts to keep it going not working on him. There were suggestions that she was just using Dodi to try and make the doctor jealous.
I guess we ll never know. One thing I am sure is he will definitely have the common sense to figure out that her "angel princess" (not just celebrity) status will no way fit into his profession.
Did Diana ever realise this? Or did he manage to convince her? Or did he simply dump her..they both only knows.
As for the "suggestions"..No I dont believe them. Its just the die-hard romantics in most of us who automatically makes up these things..
There were many people who made cards depicting Diana and Dodi as "immortal" lovers when she died..Its similar to that..
Its all our fantasy, etching out a wonderful story with our favourite characters..
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  #312  
Old 08-04-2013, 08:25 PM
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Who knows what is true? None of us. Maybe, none of them. The time has past, a long time ago. She is dead for many years, what was said between them will never be for us to know.
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  #313  
Old 08-04-2013, 09:22 PM
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You are raising a totally different point..
Holding a stranger's hand for a moment and expressing sympathy is totally different from living in a marriage with a person lifelong, understanding, caring and supporting him..
How so a different point? You said "Diana could NEVER give and care. She was as ME FIRST as the family you mentioned". That is a sweeping statement, not limited to her romantic relationships. Clearly the Princess demonstrated that she was in fact able to give and care.
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  #314  
Old 08-05-2013, 06:42 PM
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Originally Posted by vkrish View Post
Why should we think only from one side..
Maybe Khan made it clear right from beginning that they cannot marry, and still Diana was okay with that, and wanted them to be together as long as they can be.. And then they realised after a while that its done and over..
And for your last point, if someone in late 30s cant figure out who is unavailable/unsuitable for them, after a marriage and half dozen flings,I guess they can never figure out for their entire life.
Good point. She had perennial poor judgment. Every man was a little worse than the previous one.
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  #315  
Old 08-05-2013, 08:01 PM
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I think Diana would've found love in her life at some point. She had just came out of a divorce and I think it may have taken her some time but I think she would've been re-married by now.

Who knows, she may have found love up in Heaven and is very happy.
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  #316  
Old 08-05-2013, 08:07 PM
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We don't know anything. She was married to the most "Me First" person in the world. And she did have poor judgment, otherwise she would have fled from her marriage to a man who had a mistress, he, actually, loved and still does. It is not his fault, he was raised to think who could have both.
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  #317  
Old 08-05-2013, 08:36 PM
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I think Diana was always looking for someone who would meet her needs emotionally. Maybe she would have found this in her life if she had lived but who knows. Seemed like there was always circumstances which didn't make this possible.

A lot of women have friends that go back to childhood, school or when they were a young adult (18-24 years old). Diana friends seem to come and go in her life sort of like a revolving door and she didn't really try to make friends in Prince Charles's circle. They weren't a constant, it seems.
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  #318  
Old 08-05-2013, 09:07 PM
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Originally Posted by nascarlucy View Post
I think Diana was always looking for someone who would meet her needs emotionally. Maybe she would have found this in her life if she had lived but who knows. Seemed like there was always circumstances which didn't make this possible.

A lot of women have friends that go back to childhood, school or when they were a young adult (18-24 years old). Diana friends seem to come and go in her life sort of like a revolving door and she didn't really try to make friends in Prince Charles's circle. They weren't a constant, it seems.
Well, Diana was so young when she got engaged to Charles, she didn't really have many young adult years to really establish some of those kinds of relationships (and her childhood/school years seem to have been kind of erratic). And Charles's circle were older, and she didn't really have much in common with them. It can be difficult to make lasting friends who you can trust when you're thrust into such a prominent position so young. But yes, she also had the issue of her friends not really being constant, in the sense that she was often on the "outs" with somebody for a period of time, but I think such things were usually temporary. I think it was hard for her to form mature/healthy relationships with people and, looking at her childhood, I can kind of understand.
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  #319  
Old 08-05-2013, 09:46 PM
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We don't know anything. She was married to the most "Me First" person in the world. And she did have poor judgment, otherwise she would have fled from her marriage to a man who had a mistress, he, actually, loved and still does. It is not his fault, he was raised to think who could have both.
I agree we don't don't know what happened. I don't believe Charles had a mistress from the start of the marriage and, since Diana never claimed to walk in on them, she really didn't know either. They both seemed "me first,' but Charles a little less than she was. Charles was able to refrain from attacking her publicly because he, unlike Diana, put William and Harry first.

Regarding Hasnat Khan, I agree with Warren that a lot of the attraction was that he was a doctor. Diana really wanted him to establish a clinic in Africa or Pakistan, which she would try and use in order to her maintain her image as a humanitarian.

I don't think it would have worked for Diana to go with him to a third world country, even after Harry turned 18. Very few people can maintain that level of commitment, even if they don't have a mental illness. I think she did better fundraising and drop by visits. She raised a lot of money and made a few people feel very special.

If she had lived but hadn't married Khan, I still think that there would have been a lot of suitable men for Diana. A lot of wealthy people, athletes, actors, businessmen, aristocrats, etc..., would have enjoyed the attention she attracted. Look at the Fayeds.

I like to think that she would have sought help for her illness and then settled down with a great man and found some measure of happiness. Her life wouldn't have been perfect, but I think she could have found a niche in the world when she realized that she really needed self-confidence, not adoration from people she didn't know.
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  #320  
Old 08-05-2013, 10:13 PM
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She seemed to be attracted to men she could not have either because they were already married to other women which did not seem to bother her or because they had busy lives that did not allow them to devote themselves 24/7 to her. An emotionally needy woman who required constant reassurance from everyone around her.
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