Diana's Eating Disorders and Health Issues

[Osipi]

All of the recent conversation about Diana getting help for her issues really kind of does stress the importance 20 years after her death that her children are striving so hard to bring to the forefront of people's awareness that mental health issues and the attitudes towards them need a drastic change.

Most of us do realize the underlying issues that affected Diana so much in her lifetime and now coming to the forefront are the issues her sons had to deal with after the trauma of her sudden death. Is there really a better way to remember Diana 20 years on than seeing another way that she has impacted those around her and the changes that may come about because of those issues that Diana and the people closest to her have gone through?

Twenty years after her death, Diana is still instrumental in changing people's lives. That's quite a legacy in my book.

 

[TLLK]

All of the recent conversation about Diana getting help for her issues really kind of does stress the importance 20 years after her death that her children are striving so hard to bring to the forefront of people's awareness that mental health issues and the attitudes towards them need a drastic change.

Yes it does Osipi.

I've noticed that they're careful to not refer to any of their mother's own struggles but they must be reminded of her when they meet with those who had similar issues to Diana.

 

[Denville]

After all I've read, I tend to believe that there were a lot of adults around in Diana's life that were more than willing to help her. She was headstrong and refused it and went her own way and wanted to deal with things on her own and in her own time.

I just don't buy that there weren't adults there to help her if she wanted it.

who exactly? She needed good mental health care and it wasn't really avaialbe at the time.. there were few speicalists in eating disorders. And she herself was not ready to look for such help in the first few yers of her marriage.

 

[Osipi]

who exactly? She needed good mental health care and it wasn't really avaialbe at the time.. there were few speicalists in eating disorders. And she herself was not ready to look for such help in the first few yers of her marriage.

This discussion needs moved to another Diana thread so maybe the moderators will do that for us.

In quite a few sources, I've read where even early in the marriage, Diana was seen by psychiatrists but it never lasted for long. One source gave the good doctors name but I can't recall it at the moment. So the point being that people did realize she needed help and advised her to get help and she even tried it but it just didn't stick. I believe that the main issue at this time was post natal depression if I'm remembering right.

One of the big things about bulimia is that its, for the most part, a secretive disorder and very easy most of the times to keep it concealed. Until Diana was ready to address that problem, it remained hidden.

 

[Denville]

yes she did see psychiatrists from very early on, but I would imagine that the RF didn't want this to be long standing analysis..and specialists in food disorders were rare at the time.
As she said they put her on Valium, and then she had to stop taking that because she was pregnant. She needed IMO a lot of care and I don't know if she COULD really adjust to the situation that she had gotten into. She coudlnt' take time off her royal role to have intense therapy or to "have a nervous breakdown" and rest up. She was having children, doing her royal job, trying to fit into the RF and to a difficult marriage. Charles tired I think on and off to be helpful but he wasn't able to udnerstand her problems.. and she and he had so little in common. And while it wasn't the only problem there was also his lingering feeling for Camilla... Diana didn't imagine that, it was there and she was not mature enough to handle it. I think that the RF were just bewildered by her depression, couldnt' understand where it was coming from and hoped that a certain amount of tolerance, some pills and a bit of talk with a shrink, should put her back on track and able to do her job...And they would naturaly have been very concerned that her seeing a psychiatrist would not leak to the press

 

[Zinnia]

One of the big things about bulimia is that its, for the most part, a secretive disorder and very easy most of the times to keep it concealed. Until Diana was ready to address that problem, it remained hidden.

I second this and appreciate your bringing up that aspect. As someone who started with the eating disorders, body dysmorphia etc at 14, I absolutely agree with you. It really took about 20 years before I was really in 100% remission. Bulimia is about controlling your body and behaviors, taking it wherever you can. The shame alone makes it secretive.

I empathize with her being a teenager (19) when she started dating a guy she had to call Sir or Your Highness. Then moved into the palace all alone for lessons from the BRF who was were all decades older than her. Charles left her to fend for herself. The press was all over her. Age 20 married, 21 baby. I wouldn't blame anyone for feeling a complete lack of control during the biggest steps in her a young life. JMO

 

[Denville]

She was hardy "all alone" in the QM's house. or Buck Palace. I agree that she was probably rather scared and lonely but there were people around.
THe RF had no way of knowing that she wasn't able to cope with Royal life and that the feeling of isolation and lack of control of her life which was bound to come with being royal was the very thing that would drive her towards trying to re establish control, by throwing up her food and keeping her weight down.

 

[Dee Anna]

She was hardy "all alone" in the QM's house. or Buck Palace. I agree that she was probably rather scared and lonely but there were people around.
THe RF had no way of knowing that she wasn't able to cope with Royal life and that the feeling of isolation and lack of control of her life which was bound to come with being royal was the very thing that would drive her towards trying to re establish control, by throwing up her food and keeping her weight down.

Reading what I have read on our own news page, it wasn't royal life she only had a problem with, but having to cope with a potential husband who had blantant interests else where also whilst flippantly commenting on the "chubbiness" of his teenage fiancee.

 

[Denville]

Reading what I have read on our own news page, it wasn't royal life she only had a problem with, but having to cope with a potential husband who had blantant interests else where also whilst flippantly commenting on the "chubbiness" of his teenage fiancee.

The only person who mentioned this "commenting on her being chubby" was Diana, and her attitude to the truth was elasitc. And he didnt' have "blatant interests elsewhere.." he had had other relationships, hardly surprisingly, as he was many years her senior. he had had an affair a while before, with Camilla. She was aware of this relationship, unless she was incredibly unaware of things, and had stayed in Camilla's house when seeing Charles. So if it was a problem to her that he had recently been involved with Camilla, that was the time to bring it up, before they got engaged....

 

[Zinnia]

She was hardy "all alone" in the QM's house. or Buck Palace. I agree that she was probably rather scared and lonely but there were people around.
THe RF had no way of knowing that she wasn't able to cope with Royal life and that the feeling of isolation and lack of control of her life which was bound to come with being royal was the very thing that would drive her towards trying to re establish control, by throwing up her food and keeping her weight down.

I meant metaphorically alone. Her own family was unable/unwilling to offer emotional support either. It was all a big cluster of circumstances that led to the situation and results. Good thing the RF realized that perhaps it was more important to be happy than marry a virgin from an acceptable family [emoji2] And I applaud the entire RF for that enlightenment!

 

[Osipi]

Another aspect that perhaps affected Diana when she moved into BP after the engagement is that her freedom was pretty much curtailed. She couldn't just up and take off for lunch with the "girls" or just walk over to the nearest McD's for a burger and fries easily. Although lonely for companionship, she was never alone either. Wherever she went, there was her RPO at her side.

Sure there were scads of people around BP but they all had their own place in the scheme of things and went about their day doing it. Charles was busy with his full daily planner and obligations. If I remember right, Diana started heading to the kitchen to "chat". After a while she was bluntly told that down here was their place and "up there" was her place. Diana did have people around to advise her, teach her and help her along but she missed out having close companionship.

 

[Curryong]

Yes, and from all accounts the area that houses the private little apartments of the royals in BP is rather cold and echoing. Those members of the family that are in temporary residence don't disturb each other. Diana's friends at the time recognised that she was lonely but said that the procedures that had to be gone through on a visit, escorted by a footman, were a bit off putting. It's not the same as relaxing in a cosy flat with your girlfriends and being able to meet after work at a favourite restaurant etc anyway.

 

[Duc_et_Pair]

The Prince and Princess of Wales had many residences at their disposal in- and outside the United Kingdom. The apparently unwelcoming appartments at Buckingham Palace aside, there were residences at St James' Palace, at Windsor Castle, at Birkhall, at Balmoral, at Highgrove, there were residences af the Royal Yacht, in Swiss chalets, when no own residence available the best hotels in any town were booked. So I do not buy the Diana-as-a-prisoner-in-glum-BP theory. And if it was glum, she had a nice project at hand: refurbish and redecorate the appartments completely to own taste...

 

[TLLK]

Diana did have the opportunity to decorate Apts. 8 and 9 at Kennsington Palace, though the refurbishment and modernization did take time and it was not completed immediately after their wedding. It's not unlike the situation that W-A and Maxima found themselves in while waiting for Villa Eikenhorst to be completed.

Also the Dutch couple were far better suited than their British counterparts and the European courts appeared learned from the British experience and provided their newest members with incredible support during their first years of royal life.

 

[Duc_et_Pair]

I am not sure the British situation was that different. The Queen was most generous in giving Gatcombe and Sunninghil to Anne and Andrew. I am sure that the Prince and Princess of Wales could have it all their way. This is proven by the beautiful and idyllic Highgrove but it seems also that paradise-like mansion was not so liked by Diana...

Yes, that there is a distance between the street and a gated house, okay..., but was there no distance between Althorp on that lush and green estate and the "common houses" Diana's schoolmates lived in? One would say that she was used to it...

 

[Denville]

I meant metaphorically alone. Her own family was unable/unwilling to offer emotional support either. It was all a big cluster of circumstances that led to the situation and results. Good thing the RF realized that perhaps it was more important to be happy than marry a virgin from an acceptable family [emoji2] And I applaud the entire RF for that enlightenment!

I dont think it was as simple as that. Her family weren't that close but she had the tendency towards bulimia, and when under severe stress, she started to make herself sick etc. and one of the things about Bulimia is that it IS a secret illness, that sufferers usually keep it quiet and don't admit ot themselves that they are doing anything unusual. it wasn't until Di was willing to accept she had a problems that she could take steps towards finding help and a cure.
And the idea of the RF wanting a "virgin from an acceptable family" was because the press would possibly delve into the love life of a girl who had boyfrends in her past.. (they didn't seem to with Kate but possibly that's just because it was so many years later).. and because it was believed that someone from a gentry family would understand the RF and be aware of their lifestyle and fit in better..
it is possible I suppose that Diana would have developed Bulimia, even had she married an ordinary upper class man, possibly if she was stressed out by the experience of marriage.. but I think that a ltot of it was due to press attention, her wanting to look slim and pretty when she was being photographed a lot etc.

Another aspect that perhaps affected Diana when she moved into BP after the engagement is that her freedom was pretty much curtailed. She couldn't just up and take off for lunch with the "girls" or just walk over to the nearest McD's for a burger and fries easily. Although lonely for companionship, she was never alone either. Wherever she went, there was her RPO at her side.

out having close companionship.

yes that was probably a factor. She was suddently moving from her own cosy flat with her girlfriends to a strange place with PPOs, staff but not that much friendly companionship. and of course she ciould not easily go out and see her friends or vice versa.

 

[loonytick]

It seems that Diana absolutely craved having someone to chat with and enjoy close, lighthearted times. That's where she was her best, it's where she got her energy. Later in life, she had a stable of good friends to call on who were comfortable with navigating the complicated logistics of royal households, she developed an ease with inviting those friends to be part of her life at Kensington, etc.

But I wonder how many strong, put-up-with-all-the-royal-nonsense friends she really had at the beginning? Before the engagement, she was living with buddies, and their company seems to have had a positive impact on her mental state, but they hadn't been living together long. Before that she'd bounced around various boarding schools of different types and, irrc, was briefly a live-in nanny. In all of those situations she had built-in companionship, but she didn't stay in any of those places long. Thinking back to the people I knew when I was 19, so many friendships seemed to be in constant flux and if life wasn't leading us to bump into each other every day, the people we did see became much more central. It takes time and a little maturity to learn how to work at maintaining a bond when there are barriers of access. So were the friends she had at the time of the engagement and the early years of the marriage the kind of friends who she could count on to feed her need for "girlfriend time," or was she flailing around for a while, trying to figure out how to adjust?


Even the nicest, most luxurious and most physically comfortable palaces in the world are a sorry substitute for living, breathing human company.

 

[Zinnia]

It seems that Diana absolutely craved having someone to chat with and enjoy close, lighthearted times.
.

And that is basically us as human beings. We are made to connect with others, some at a deep, deep level, others more superficial yet critically important. We all need love, trust and companionship. Not having that can be damaging to a person. Diana appeared to have lacked that from a young age.

 

[Osipi]

I think that is one reason that Diana being out and among the people was actually therapeutic for her. It was a two way street. It gave her the avenues to be able to express the caring, compassionate and giving part of her nature to be able to make someone feel better than they did before she met them and in return they gave Diana the sense of being a valuable person contributing to the world around her.

If only Diana had found these avenues for expression in her private life also she would have been a truly astounding person making a difference in this world.

 

[Denville]

She did have friends, some of whom lasted quite a while. I think that she always remained close to her flatmates. but other friendships came and went. I think that when she got into the RF, and that sparked off her bulimia, she became a lot more difficult to befriend. people were attracted to her, and she was warm hearted and a good friend but she needed a lot of support, from her friends and expected a lot of loyalty and devotion. I think she was willing to give in return but she was demanding.
I think that yo're right that she liked her work with people because she was able to show her warmth and her kindly nature.. and she didn't ask for anyting back from the public other than a little affection

 

[Duchess Sophie]

She was hardy "all alone" in the QM's house. or Buck Palace. I agree that she was probably rather scared and lonely but there were people around.
THe RF had no way of knowing that she wasn't able to cope with Royal life and that the feeling of isolation and lack of control of her life which was bound to come with being royal was the very thing that would drive her towards trying to re establish control, by throwing up her food and keeping her weight down.

I think the changes in her life (freedom curtailed, always protection around) made her insecurities that much worse. No doubt it was quite daunting for her to get to know the staff. And it only worsened when she found out that some staff were so set in their ways they didn´t appreciate her stopping by for a short chat. And when she found out there was staff that didn´t like her or chose Charles´ side in the War of the Waleses it only fed her paranoia. Which also got into her relationships with friends and family. Due to all stress and anxiety she for sure developed the "Me against the world"- point of view which led to the Panaroma interview.

 

[Princess Squirrel]

Eating disorders

Just as an example of how woefully inadequate the medical profession were at dealing with eating disorders. I had anorexia at 14/15 and got down to about 60 pounds. My mum and dad thought I was going to die, I'm sure I came close. They never had me hospitalised, but they did take me to see a pyschiatrist. This was only a few years before Diana married Charles, about 1978/9.

I'll never forget what the pyschiatrist said as I sat there with my mum. 'Why don't you eat lots of chocolate biscuits?' She honestly asked me that! It's a wonder I did eventually get over it, but it certainly wasn't with her help.

Charles did the right thing, as my parents did. They sought professional help. It is not their fault, my parents or Charles, that the 'treatment' was such rubbish.

 

[MARG]

Just as an example of how woefully inadequate the medical profession were at dealing with eating disorders. I had anorexia at 14/15 and got down to about 60 pounds. My mum and dad thought I was going to die, I'm sure I came close. They never had me hospitalised, but they did take me to see a pyschiatrist. This was only a few years before Diana married Charles, about 1978/9.

I'll never forget what the pyschiatrist said as I sat there with my mum. 'Why don't you eat lots of chocolate biscuits?' She honestly asked me that! It's a wonder I did eventually get over it, but it certainly wasn't with her help.

Charles did the right thing, as my parents did. They sought professional help. It is not their fault, my parents or Charles, that the 'treatment' was such rubbish.

Thank you for sharing that stunning personal insight because I don't think many, if any, could factor that reaction into "seeking treatment" and, in the absence of a "cure" for Diana, blame those around her for being callous. Charles was once alleged to have sniped at Diana that he didn't see the point of her attending a dinner as she was just going to throw it up later. And then there was the little gem about those little whiffs of vomit!

Your situation shows the reality of the total lack of knowledge in the cause and treatment of those with "eating disorders" at that time, so much so that one can't help but wonder about those historical figures who they, their siblings or children were reported to have died of a "wasting disease".

Like it or not back then there not only was there no treatment, but people discuss it with the clarity of 20/20 hindsight and 21st Century medical knowledge. They forget that computers were the size of large rooms and when cellphones arrived they were bigger than bricks and now they know that the "cure" for "being skinny" was "eating chocolate biscuits".

Anorexia and bulimia were still a mystery.

 

[Mermaid1962]

As were conditions such as anxiety and depression. I had my first derealization episode at the age of 10, when I experienced a feeling of unreality at school during a snowstorm. Symptoms of anxiety and depression continued on and off for several years, but it wasn't diagnosed as such until perhaps eight years later. By that time, I was so anxious that I literally couldn't eat; and so, I passed out, leading the doctor to put me on medication and refer me to a specialist. I was only one year younger than Diana. I think that part of the problem in the 70s and early 80s is that we didn't have the vocabulary to describe exactly what was going on inside us. We felt unwell, but we couldn't put it into terms that could really be understood. When I told my parents that I felt "dreamy", what I was talking about was a derealization episode, a symptom of severe anxiety.

It's so difficult to deal with a condition when one doesn't understand what's going on and/or why a person's acting out. The person just wants the emotional pain to stop by any means available.

Anorexia and bulimia were still a mystery.

 

[Missjersey]

Totally agree Marg. To Princess Squirrel and Mermaid 1962 words can’t convey my heartfelt admiration for sharing something so personal. Your voices are powerful!

 

[Curryong]

Yes, there is nothing like personal experience of a medical condition being discussed and being able to articulate it.

 

[Osipi]

I sincerely echo Missjersey's sentiments on sharing personal experiences. It just really helps us to understand Diana so much more and what she was going through. Can't blame others either for being callous or not caring either because they had no concept of what they were dealing with.

Makes me appreciate all the more what the young royals are doing now for mental health awareness.

 

[Princess Squirrel]

Eating disorders

The funny thing (not funny haha if you know what I mean) is that I totally understand what happened to me, looking back in hindsight. It was all about control in fact. I found myself in what I perceived to be a scary situation. We had just moved, I was taking O levels and A levels, and a couple of years earlier, my dad had been diagnosed with a brain tumour. I was a good student and under pressure to do myself justice with my results. I hasten to say, pressure from myself, not my mum and dad. The whole situation seemed out of control, but the one thing that I was sure of, was that I could control my weight.

I think with Princess Diana, it could have been the same. Going from one situation she couldn't control (parent's divorce) to another (intensely public marriage and being part of the RF), but she could control her weight.

Eating disorders are really just a huge cry for help and support. Imo anyway.

 

[Osipi]

The thing is with there being very little knowledge at the time about eating disorders when even psychiatrists and doctors didn't fully understand that this is a legitimate disorder that affect a lot of people, its easy to see that its very possible that Diana, herself, probably didn't understand it. It was a secret disorder that one basically kept to themselves. More and more we're coming to the realization that the mental state of a person can manifest itself in other areas of a person's health.

It puts me in mind of women that suffered tremendously with PMS like I did and it wasn't that long ago that we were told "its all in our heads" and loaded up with narcotics to "ease the pain". I know Diana was prescribed medications for her depression and anxieties but the more I think about it, the more I think she was right not to go down that path happily whistling to unicorns like I did for a few years with the meds prescribed for PMS.

 

[US Royal Watcher]

The thing is with there being very little knowledge at the time about eating disorders when even psychiatrists and doctors didn't fully understand that this is a legitimate disorder that affect a lot of people, its easy to see that its very possible that Diana, herself, probably didn't understand it. It was a secret disorder that one basically kept to themselves. More and more we're coming to the realization that the mental state of a person can manifest itself in other areas of a person's health.

It puts me in mind of women that suffered tremendously with PMS like I did and it wasn't that long ago that we were told "its all in our heads" and loaded up with narcotics to "ease the pain". I know Diana was prescribed medications for her depression and anxieties but the more I think about it, the more I think she was right not to go down that path happily whistling to unicorns like I did for a few years with the meds prescribed for PMS.

Drugs can be misused, but I hope people don't avoid medication that can help them because they are trying to "tough it out." Many folks who suffer from bulimia get relief from anti-depressants. According to Andrew Morton, Diana herself used anti-depressants to control her illness after she separated from Charles.

I appreciate the courage of some posters who are sharing their personal experiences. IIRC, the tabloids got wind of Diana's illness in the early 1980s because they saw the premiere eating disorder psychiatrist visiting Highgrove (they were camped out like stalkers). I would hope that this doctor knew that he shouldn't suggest that she eat chocolate biscuits.

I think Charles tried to get her the help she needed--and Diana apparently agreed to see the psychiatrist, which was very brave of her. It may not have been the right fit or she just wasn't ready.