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  #21  
Old 06-02-2005, 11:56 AM
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And at the age of 19, put in the same situation, how would YOU have turned out?!! Diana was a product of her surroundings. How prepared would ANY ONE OF US have been to handle the enormous pressure that Diana was daily subjected to? New marriage, baby on the way, unsupportive inlaws, cut off from friends and family, new job, new home, expectations of the media and public, and no owners manual for any of it! All at 19/20 years of age! She did the best she could with what she had.
As for Fergie, READ HER BOOK, she herself said that she made the mistakes that lead to her problems.
There is a Native American saying "You cannot judge a man, until you have walked a mile in his shoes". Before you judge Diana, I suggest you "walk" in HER shoes.
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  #22  
Old 06-02-2005, 01:14 PM
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It isn't possible to walk in her shoes; all we can do is to draw conclusions from what we read and see in the media. It sounds as though there was plenty of blame to go around; Diana sounded - even in books written by people generally supportive of her - to be a very high-maintenance sort of person, and she married into a situation where people were supposed to be self-sufficient and where no allowances were made for her weaknesses, and she married a husband who wasn't well suited to dealing with an emotionally demanding wife.

It's just very sad that the two of them got together in the first place; knowing what she, Charles, and the whole royal setup were like, her family should have done a bit more to protect her rather than being so keen for her to marry into the royal family that everybody turned a blind eye to the actual people involved.
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  #23  
Old 06-02-2005, 01:35 PM
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The important thing is that she got over them and was able to talk about it. I saw on a show that after she revelaed that she suffered from bulimia, more ppl began to open up about their own sufferings with this illness.
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  #24  
Old 06-02-2005, 04:08 PM
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Diana, in the tapes released by her speech coach, said that she and Charles were only together 13 times before their engagement. Had they had the opportunity to "date" like normal couples, I have no doubt that they NEVER would have married. They both needed more than the other could provide.

However, we will never know the true story. It is important to remember that some of the books that have been written about Diana were written by employees. The butler, the bodyguard, the secretary, the housekeeper.
How many of us can say that we liked our supervisor at work 100% of the time?
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  #25  
Old 06-02-2005, 11:00 PM
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what happened to diana and charles is just tragedy. to blame all on charles would not be fair because i think he is just not strong enough to say "no" when the family wants him to marry diana, the 19 year old, virgin. while lots of people agree that he should have, but the sad thing is that he didn't. and diana being 19, shy and being subjected to the new environment and position must felt a little scared sometimes, especially when she knows the husband-to-be is not in love with her.

the story should not happened like that, but yet it did. and we as the outsider who could only guess and speculate must not be too hard, on both of them. eventhough, personally, i think it all started with charles.
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  #26  
Old 06-02-2005, 11:23 PM
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These days, when it's more acceptable for senior royals to marry women who aren't noble and who have had serious previous boyfriends, this sort of situation shouldn't happen. I hope it means that William doesn't end up in a similar situation. After what happened with Charles and Diana and seeing how well Sophie seems to have fitted into the family, Wiliam should be free to marry whoever he wants to.
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  #27  
Old 06-10-2005, 11:56 AM
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Quote:
How prepared would ANY ONE OF US have been to handle the enormous pressure that Diana was daily subjected to? New marriage, baby on the way, unsupportive inlaws, cut off from friends and family, new job, new home, expectations of the media and public, and no owners manual for any of it! All at 19/20 years of age! She did the best she could with what she had.
In all frankness she was given "Princess Lessons." She was taught how to walk, wave in front of an imaginary crowd, not to mention she knew basic protocol. She was taught by Oliver Everett, Lady Susan Hussey, not to mention a large staff and her mother. She had been unprepared in childhood however. Her father let her and her siblings get away with anything and even allowed her to technically drop out of school. When her mental problems became known people around her urged her to get help, but she refused to admit she had problems. Furthermore she needed depth and more substance. She was lacking in the intellectual department and outright refused to read books about past Princesses of Wales to get a more specific idea of her responsibilities and how various princesses embodied their roles.

As for her mental illness, my parentals have never coddled me and I have to take medication for my anxiety disorder. I know I have problems and I confront it. I've screwed up frequently and sometimes I overreact. She refused to face her issues and get help. Ultimately she was spoiled by the palace system who kept saying on and on and on that she needed time to adjust. The Queen in particular wanted her to work things out. I suggest people on this forum read "The Queen and Di". Gives an interesting and stimulating look at the relationship and points of view.
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  #28  
Old 06-10-2005, 12:22 PM
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I read one account of the "Charles calling her chubby" story: During their engagement, Charles put his arm around Diana's waist and said something to the effect of, "We're getting a little chubby there, aren't we?" Diana's waistline went from 27 inches to 23 inches for the wedding.
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  #29  
Old 06-10-2005, 03:39 PM
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I suggest people on this forum read "The Queen and Di". Gives an interesting and stimulating look at the relationship and points of view
If you are referring to me, I have read it.
My point was... that at a young age, many of us would have reacted in much the same way. Diana was a young girl, cast in a difficult role. A role that she was too young and too inexperienced to handle. She and Charles should never have been married, and when Diana wanted to call off the wedding she was talked out of it by her sisters. Perhaps if she had been "older and wiser" she would have had the strength to have gone thru with calling off the wedding. Instead she was unhappy and that unhappiness manifested into an eating disorder. Which, by the way, often causes mental problems. How many of us here haven't been able to have a meal (for whatever reason)? Was your brain working at it's peak? Imagine years of deprivation.

Another thing, you're judging Diana based on your living in a normal world. The Royal Family doesn't live in the "normal" world. They are still very removed from the experiences that we all have. What seems normal to us, like seeking help, isn't normal to them. And the Queen and Diana were from VERY different generations.

So rather than judging harshly, keep an open mind and perhaps pity the young girl and stop villifying the woman.
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  #30  
Old 06-10-2005, 05:46 PM
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Diana's "deprivation" was self-imposed however. Her judgement was not impaired because she didn't have access to food. Also, Diana's eating disorders seemed to be a combination of both anorexia (when you starve yourself) as well as bulemia (when you eat but then purge), so Diana was not exactly completely "deprived."

Also, her insecurity and her unhappiness were apparent long before she developed her eating disorders. So it wasn't a case that Diana missed dinner one night and the next night she had made the biggest mistake of her life by marrying Charles when she was not ready or if she didn't really love him or he didn't really love her.

In regards to wanting to call off the wedding, it should be shame on her sisters for talking her out of it. Diana expressed a concern to them and they brushed it off because the monogrammed towels had already been ordered.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sammy
So rather than judging harshly, keep an open mind and perhaps pity the young girl and stop villifying the woman.
The thing about being an adult however, which Diana most certainly was when she died tragically, is that you can't forever blame your mistakes on others. As an adult you have to accept responsibility for your mistakes and actions. Diana never did this. She forever blamed Charles for not loving her, for Camilla being part of Charles's life even when he and Diana were married, etc. Certainly Charles's and Camilla's actions were not proper but where does the responsiblity fall for Diana who had affairs of her own?

And the woman Diana became is a result of the young girl she was.
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  #31  
Old 03-26-2006, 06:03 AM
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I know of Diana having bulimia, but I wonder if she had anorexia too. I admired Diana so much more when she spoke about eating disorders. Mainly eating disorders are in women but there have been more reports now of men having it too. Self-mutilation can be found in eating disorders and depression. People who have done this feels like they are nothing on the inside and want to hurt themselves on the outside. This does not mean that Diana had borderline personality disorder.
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  #32  
Old 03-26-2006, 08:22 AM
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I would like to believe that Diana's eating disorder was rooted in her unhappy childhood rather than the start of her engagment with Prince Charles. If Diana married a suitable man, she might be much happier. It was such as tragedy that Charles and Diana got married at the first place. They two have similar weakness in their character but unable to work out the problem. Diana was a very demanding person and she did not trust Prince Charles' determination to make his marriage work. She was too young to understand the complextion of one' love history. Camilla was in the history and no one can deny that. If Diana were matured enough or generous enough, she might learn to accpet many things she disliked in Charles' life.
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  #33  
Old 03-26-2006, 08:31 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sammy
...My point was... that at a young age, many of us would have reacted in much the same way.
Well said Sammy! It's hard to believe that before she was even 21, Diana was married, had a baby and was dealing with the mega pressures of being a "superstar". How many of us could have handled it as such a young age? I know at 21, I wasn't even ready to get married, let alone deal with any other major life changing events.
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  #34  
Old 03-26-2006, 09:05 AM
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Unhappy

When it comes to the Charles/Diana marriage there will always be plenty of blame to go around. Charles was not prepared to deal with an emotionally needy, slightly unbalanced , immature young girl, and Diana lacked the maturity and clear-headedness to adapt to her new situation with equanimity. I think after a few years and a lot of difficulties Diana was in some ways able to adjust better but altogether, this marriage was doomed from the start. Maybe if Diana had lived longer and married someone like Hasnat Khan, she could have made herself content with a marriage and left behind some of the glamour and high life to devote her time to social causes instead. Of course, that's if she had lived and if she had come to the realization that she could not play the aggrieved spouse/supermodel of style role infinitely. I hope I don't come across as too harsh on Diana, because I foind some admirable things about her, but there was a lot of drama and problems with her and Charles.
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  #35  
Old 03-26-2006, 10:52 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rhenae
I know of Diana having bulimia, but I wonder if she had anorexia too. I admired Diana so much more when she spoke about eating disorders. Mainly eating disorders are in women but there have been more reports now of men having it too. Self-mutilation can be found in eating disorders and depression. People who have done this feels like they are nothing on the inside and want to hurt themselves on the outside. This does not mean that Diana had borderline personality disorder.
The women that I have known who have eating disorders have shown signs of both anorexia and bulimia but one or the other was predominant.

I think self-mutilation is a totally different phenomenon. I knew of a woman who did harm herself and it caused great concern because her familly had a history of suicide. Luckily she didn't commit suicide but she didn't have an eating disorder.

The women I knew with eating disorders definitely weren't self-mutilating except for their eating disorder which is self-mutilating in itself.

Many people believe that words or actions on the husband's part automatically causes eating disorders in a woman and that's not true. Women react differently according to their family history and their emotional makeup. If they're relatively healthy to start with, their self-esteem will take a dive but they'll recover more easily. If they have a history of eating disorders or other behaviors as Diana said she did, the behaviors will get worse but they were already there to start with.
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  #36  
Old 07-04-2006, 04:52 PM
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Diana says in her book Diana: Her True Story IN Her Own Words that her eating disorder happened after the engagement. She belived her bulimia was a result of the marriage not working out. She had gone from pretty much nobody to a world phenomemnon, practically over night. Dhe felt the pressure and she also described that when she did throw up she woul fell so much better afterwards and that she felt it released a lot of tension. Charles adn the Queen did know about it but they didn't know what to do with her. I do belive that Charles did worry but that he wasn't educated on this illness so he had a hard time with why Diana felt she had to do this.
About her sons if they knew or not I am sure they found out anyways if Diana told them or not because it was all over the newspapers and news. I heard that Diana took control of her eating disorder within two to one year before her death. I was also told that people with eating disorders never really get over them.
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  #37  
Old 09-23-2008, 02:19 AM
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Diana speaks about, dancing, her love life, her pregnancy and trips with Charles in these new letters

'Watching me dance is like watching an elephant': Revealing letters written by Princess Diana to former nanny to be auctioned | Mail Online
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  #38  
Old 09-23-2008, 01:45 PM
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I wonder why Mary Clarke needed to sell these letters.

And isn't it interesting that Diana compares herself to an elephant while dancing? I wonder if that comment isn't sypmtomatic of her eating disorder.
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  #39  
Old 09-23-2008, 01:51 PM
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Or it's a typical aristocratic self-deprecating remark. That was my first thought. But you could be right, iowabelle.
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  #40  
Old 09-23-2008, 09:08 PM
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I think the elephant remark may be due to her height.
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