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  #141  
Old 12-08-2007, 05:00 AM
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The concentration is on Diana as her mistakes were cruel and vindictive, Sarah's weren't. To this day Sarah, despite knowing what Diana did to her, never says anything negative about Diana. She never betrayed her confidence by leaking information to the press and she knew numerous embarrassing details about Diana.
I agree but Sarah could be quite cruel if she wanted to. Revealing intimate stories of Diana's "experiences" with her lovers, in particulary with Hewitt, is not something that I would call "nice" !
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  #142  
Old 12-08-2007, 09:30 AM
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I agree but Sarah could be quite cruel if she wanted to. Revealing intimate stories of Diana's "experiences" with her lovers, in particulary with Hewitt, is not something that I would call "nice" !
Sarah never revealed intimate stories of Diana's lovers. Read her book, there is no mention of Diana's lovers in the book, the only remotely indiscreet thing she wrote was that she got planter's warts from a pair of Diana's shoes. Sarah has given many, many interviews and yet in those interviews she has hasn't spoken about Diana's lovers, when Diana was alive Sarah wasn't leaking information about her to the press. In that respect she was a much better friend to Diana than Diana was to her.
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  #143  
Old 12-08-2007, 12:58 PM
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I think Diana had a habit of creating misery when she was unhappy.
That's one of the most profound statements that I've read in this thread. It does seem that Diana broadcast her emotions to those around her. When she was happy she spread her happiness like sunshine but when she was miserable she spread her pain and misery to others like a contagious disease. I believe this was the two sides of her that sirhon mentioned. I think a lot of the scheming and nastiness against Sarah was because the Royal Family was initially much more welcoming to Sarah than they were to Diana. So I really think that Diana wanted to make sure that Sarah was just as miserable in the Royal Family as Diana was and she succeeded beyond her wildest dreams. They say misery loves company.

I totally agree with georgiea that Diana used the Panorama interview to get out of the marriage, but I would have had more respect for her if she had said, "This marriage was a mistake. I can't live in this family. I want out." But in the interview she maintained that she didn't want a divorce and that she and Charles had had a lot in common which I don't think anyone else believes. I think I would have respected Diana's Panorama interview even speaking behind the Queen's back which was wrong, if she had been a little more honest about what was going on and what she really wanted. As the way she conducted the interview, it became just another one of her games - one which hurt the Queen and Royal Family immensely.

As another member mentioned, Sarah was particularly honest when asked this question, she said, "I never was meant to be royal" No finger pointing, no recriminations. Just the simple fact that she was not suited to the life she married into. I think she was able to do that because she could genuinely see and like the Queen and the members of the Royal Family as real human beings who felt love and pain like the rest of us. I don't think Diana could ever see Charles, the Queen and the rest of the Royal Family as normal human beings who could love and feel pain and so she was limited in her inability to understand the Royal Family.
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  #144  
Old 12-08-2007, 01:39 PM
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I think a lot of the scheming and nastiness against Sarah was because the Royal Family was initially much more welcoming to Sarah than they were to Diana. So I really think that Diana wanted to make sure that Sarah was just as miserable in the Royal Family as Diana was and she succeeded beyond her wildest dreams.
ysbel, I think your insights are right on and I agree. I've selected these specific sentences from your post because I wanted to comment that I think some of Diana's actions (toward Sarah and Sophie, for instance) were driven by her seeming need to be first in everything, not content to be happy with her popularity with the public, with her acknowledged achievements, unable to accept second place in any circumstance within the royal family. I believe it might have been untenable for her to see any other female in-law (or prospective in-law) favored over her in any category.
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  #145  
Old 12-08-2007, 02:37 PM
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That's one of the most profound statements that I've read in this thread. It does seem that Diana broadcast her emotions to those around her. When she was happy she spread her happiness like sunshine but when she was miserable she spread her pain and misery to others like a contagious disease.
Great post ! I believe Diana didn't stand that Sarah as well as other women entering the royal circle could be more appreciated than her. In her opinion, it was unfair to not be recognized for her true worth. I'm wondering if the RF had congratulated for her efforts, she would have been less vengeful with them ...
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  #146  
Old 12-08-2007, 03:07 PM
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Great post ! I believe Diana didn't stand that Sarah as well as other women entering the royal circle could be more appreciated than her. In her opinion, it was unfair to not be recognized for her true worth. I'm wondering if the RF had congratulated for her efforts, she would have been less vengeful with them ...
As you say, in her opinion. Is there evidence that she was never congratulated or her efforts recognized by the family? I would be surprised if that had never happened. However, if she expected to be fussed over continually that would be unreasonable. After all, if that was something the royal family did, then they'd have very little time left for anything after praising Anne, Philip, et al.
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  #147  
Old 12-08-2007, 03:19 PM
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I have always believed that the Princess of Wales was a blessing and a curse to the Royal Family. I also believe that Diana's feelings of being underappreciated made her miserable and made her want to spread her misery towards other people.
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  #148  
Old 12-08-2007, 04:38 PM
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I also believe that Diana's feelings of being underappreciated made her miserable and made her want to spread her misery towards other people.
The feelings of underappreciation are somewhat related to the ego you yourself possess. Diana would not have been the "star" she was if she hadn't had that ego. Just look at the videos that show her when she arrived someplace where she was the guest of honour. She absolutely delighted in being the center of the attention and it communicated its radiance to all people present. That is wonderful if you can experience meeting such a person. It is terrible if you have to live with such a greater than life ego. Whatever you do, it's not enough. And worse is if you yourself are used to be the star - you simply cannot offer enough. It could only work out if both partners realise somewhat level-headed and soberly that you can't be the pop star/celeb when it comes to marriage and intimate or family relationships. Diana at least never realised that, IMHO. And suffered due to it.
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  #149  
Old 12-08-2007, 04:51 PM
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Originally Posted by ysbel View Post
As another member mentioned, Sarah was particularly honest when asked this question, she said, "I never was meant to be royal" No finger pointing, no recriminations. Just the simple fact that she was not suited to the life she married into. I think she was able to do that because she could genuinely see and like the Queen and the members of the Royal Family as real human beings who felt love and pain like the rest of us. I don't think Diana could ever see Charles, the Queen and the rest of the Royal Family as normal human beings who could love and feel pain and so she was limited in her inability to understand the Royal Family.
Much as I disliked Sarah for her lack of decorum, I believe she was always a true and honest friend to Diana. It must have been hurtful to read the contents of the call between Diana and Gilbey.

Throughout her life, IMO, Diana never offered unconditional love or friendship.
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  #150  
Old 12-08-2007, 04:56 PM
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Much as I disliked Sarah for her lack of decorum, I believe she was always a true and honest friend to Diana. It must have been hurtful to read the contents of the call between Diana and Gilbey.

Throughout her life, IMO, Diana never offered unconditional love or friendship.
I agree with the first part of your post although I don't think someone can live without offering unconditional love. What about her sons ? Do you think she didn't offer them her unconditional love ? And Charles ? He had her whole love.
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  #151  
Old 12-08-2007, 04:58 PM
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....... However, if she expected to be fussed over continually that would be unreasonable. After all, if that was something the royal family did, then they'd have very little time left for anything after praising Anne, Philip, et al.
I think that was a major factor in the breakdown of her marriage. She couldn't understand why Charles couldn't change the arrangements made months ago, at the drop of a hat, to spend more time with her. That she hadn't just joined a family, but their business as well and she was expected to pull her weight, without constant praise.
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  #152  
Old 12-08-2007, 05:05 PM
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I agree with the first part of your post although I don't think someone can live without offering unconditional love. What about her sons ? Do you think she didn't offer them her unconditional love ? And Charles ? He had her whole love.
On that we will have to agree to disagree. I have met many people who are unable to offer 'unconditional' love, even to their children, especially in a divorce situation. Diana even kicked up over W & H friendship with Tiggy. As for Charles, I have always believed that Diana was in love with The Prince of Wales, not Charles the man and I didn't see anything to change my opinion within their short marriage.
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  #153  
Old 12-08-2007, 05:28 PM
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Well if she was in love with the Prince of Wales and not Charles don't you think she would still be married to him. If Diana wanted to be queen she would've turned a blind eye towards Charles' affair with Camilla. She wouldn't have helped Andrew Morton write that book on her or did the Panorama Interview.
Charles was loved by two women Camilla and Diana.
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  #154  
Old 12-08-2007, 06:05 PM
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Well if she was in love with the Prince of Wales and not Charles don't you think she would still be married to him.....edited by Skydragon... She wouldn't have helped Andrew Morton write that book on her or did the Panorama Interview.
The fantasy faded when she realised that along with the title, came a real live man who was unable to cope with her histrionics. She was used to getting her own way with her father and all her nannies and it clearly came as a shock to find it didn't work on every man or person.

I don't believe Diana was capable of an equal friendship with anyone, least of all Sarah, who was so easy to poke fun at.
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  #155  
Old 12-08-2007, 06:15 PM
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The fantasy faded when she realised that along with the title, came a real live man who was unable to cope with her histrionics. She was used to getting her own way with her father and all her nannies and it clearly came as a shock to find it didn't work on every man or person.

I don't believe Diana was capable of an equal friendship with anyone, least of all Sarah, who was so easy to poke fun at.
But why would she have fought for him and did her "histrionics" if she didn't give a damn about Charles the man. Her "histrionics" were brought up with jealousy. If love wasn't there, I can't figure out why she would have done all this to hurt him ... IMO, it's clear she loved him. I agree that she was blinded by his position but still she loved him. And if she wasn't a good friend, how come her roommates didn't publish or critize her or her friendship ?
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  #156  
Old 12-08-2007, 06:17 PM
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The fantasy faded when she realised that along with the title, came a real live man who was unable to cope with her histrionics. She was used to getting her own way with her father and all her nannies and it clearly came as a shock to find it didn't work on every man or person.

I don't believe Diana was capable of an equal friendship with anyone, least of all Sarah, who was so easy to poke fun at.
Well she didn't marry a man instead she married a boy.
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  #157  
Old 12-08-2007, 06:23 PM
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But why would she have fought for him and did her "histrionics" if she didn't give a damn about Charles the man. Her "histrionics" were brought up with jealousy. If love wasn't there, I can't figure out why she would have done all this to hurt him ... IMO, it's clear she loved him. I agree that she was blinded by his position but still she loved him. And if she wasn't a good friend, how come her roommates didn't publish or critize her or her friendship ?
The histrionics were to get attention, she wasn't 'in love' with her father but it worked on him. Her flat mates have a sense of honour, IMO.
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  #158  
Old 12-08-2007, 08:06 PM
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Charles was certainly a man when he married Diana, and not a boy! He had to grow up fast and was already involved with numerous charities and responsibilities for being the POW--he was also about 12-13 years older than Diana and had more life experience and was ready to settle down and have children--a boy would not have done so. Diana was a girl when she got married and her behavior shows she never really moved beyond where she was emotionally--the extreme behavior she displayed regularly, her vindictiveness, her shallowness, etc....I think that there were some serious problems in that marriage, but to refer to Charles as a boy is not one of them.
Also, I do think that Diana was in love with the PoW--she said in an interview that she had always felt destined for greatness, and come on, in the UK what is greater to a girl's imagination than marrying the PoW. I know some of us say that if that were the case she would have stayed married no matter what, but I think that Diana was so used to always getting her way in her youth that it spilled over, and she really believed that she had more power than she did; truly, she was LOVED by the UK and she believed she could do anything and get away with it with them, so why not with the Royal Family? I think she overestimated her power and when it was said and done she had not other options--that's when all the interviews and everything came out and she was on the other end of where she planned to be and had no choice but to leave. She didn't plan the whole thing well. I feel sorry for her for never growing beyond immaturity and a scheming nature.
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  #159  
Old 12-08-2007, 09:30 PM
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Oh, really the way he handeled his marriage to Diana wasn't too manly. As soon as it went down south he ran into Camilla's arms instead of trying his best to make that marriage work. Then look at the embarrassment he caused for Camilla in August. He knew that the obbsessed Diana fans didn't want her there but he kept on insisting that she should go. And she was even threatened by these people. His selfishness put her in a very bad position in which she tried to avoid.
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  #160  
Old 12-08-2007, 10:38 PM
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I agree with the first part of your post although I don't think someone can live without offering unconditional love. What about her sons ? Do you think she didn't offer them her unconditional love ? And Charles ? He had her whole love.
It wasn't unconditional, though, from all accounts. It was the sort of "if you really loved me, you'd..." sort of love. Unconditional love doesn't make those sorts of demands. Having said that, I don't think unconditional love is a human trait in general.

As for her friendship with Sarah, it sounds as though it was always rather competitive on Diana's side. Bit like a friendship between a cat and a dog.
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