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  #1501  
Old 06-06-2018, 01:27 AM
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Most would agree it was highly commendable that Diana worried around the clock when Hewitt deployed. If it's true she had the television on all the time for reports each day, to gain a solid understanding of what was developing, it's impressive. Along with visits to chapels and prayer, apparently she identified with Army wives in the way they quietly endure uncertainty as conflicts carry on. Wanting to do her part, though not permitted to visit the Gulf, the fact she endeavored to boost morale for troops and surely would have...speaks highly.

As anyone knows who for a time has been separate from a loved one, there is always a slight adjustment before things are back to normal again. Not unusual by any means. The moment they saw one another at Highgrove they were, "in eachother's arms" he says. Is there a way to explain how from that point on things slowly went downhill, within a space of a few hours...the emotional end to the relationship, then and there ?
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  #1502  
Old 06-06-2018, 10:19 AM
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Things change during/after deployments. The service members don't come back the same and the boyfriends/girlfriends/spouses are different as well. It's a small wonder divorce rates are so high among service members.



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  #1503  
Old 06-06-2018, 10:22 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Elan View Post
Most would agree it was highly commendable that Diana worried around the clock when Hewitt deployed. If it's true she had the television on all the time for reports each day, to gain a solid understanding of what was developing, it's impressive. Along with visits to chapels and prayer, apparently she identified with Army wives in the way they quietly endure uncertainty as conflicts carry on. Wanting to do her part, though not permitted to visit the Gulf, the fact she endeavored to boost morale for troops and surely would have...speaks highly.

As anyone knows who for a time has been separate from a loved one, there is always a slight adjustment before things are back to normal again. Not unusual by any means. The moment they saw one another at Highgrove they were, "in eachother's arms" he says. Is there a way to explain how from that point on things slowly went downhill, within a space of a few hours...the emotional end to the relationship, then and there ?
Actually, yes there is. From what you've said, she, like countless army wives, poured huge emotional investment into caring for 'her' man from afar, during his absence. If there might have seemed a rather unreal -Barbara Cartland?- quality about it, it would have been because there was. It's entirely possible that during their separation her feelings for him escalated in an "absence makes the heart grow fonder" way but the instant they "were in each other's arms" reality hit and she may have realized that he wasn't her for ever love. There may have been a period during which she tried very hard to get things -her feelings- back to where they'd been. I think it would have terrified her to find herself out of love, such was her need for happy ever after.
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  #1504  
Old 06-06-2018, 06:52 PM
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Originally Posted by Tsaritsa View Post
It's entirely possible that during their separation her feelings for him escalated in an "absence makes the heart grow fonder" way but the instant they "were in each other's arms" reality hit and she may have realized that he wasn't her for ever love.
Sobering reality for Hewitt was that he was older after returning from Iraq and wasn't quite the golden boy of early years. Diana's emphasis on a level of pizzazz factor in her gentleman friends if taken to extremes is a bit ridiculous imo. For ex., in a letter anticipating his return, she requested he shave his moustache for the reason that, "she was sure she would hate it."

In other words, there were signs of trouble waiting for Hewitt prior to the return, holding himself up to a vision of Prince charming all over again. She had become a stronger person over time. Strength can be a double edge sword. When her health and self esteem were at a low point, she loved and adored him. As his savior mystique waned, she was socially aware of the world as a vibrant place of fascinating suitors waiting to fall in love with her. Affluent also. Hewitt had it right when he speculated the future lay ahead for her. And he was from the past..
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  #1505  
Old 06-08-2018, 02:09 AM
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Originally Posted by Pranter View Post
No he was ostracized because he talked and wrote books/interviews about his relationship...not because he was caught.


LaRae
He wasn't caught anyway. He outed his affair, himself. He was positively eager to drop hints to journalists and then to do a book about it.
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  #1506  
Old 06-08-2018, 02:11 AM
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Originally Posted by Elan View Post
Most ay, to gain a solid understanding of what was developing, it's impressive. Along with visits to chapels and prayer, apparently she identified with Army wives in the way they quietly endure uncertainty as conflicts carry on. Wanting to do her part, though not permitted to visit the Gulf, the fact she endeavored to boost morale for troops and surely would have...speaks highly.

As anyone knows who for a time has been separate from a loved one, there is always a slight adjustment before things are back to normal again. Not unusual by any means. The moment they saw one another at Highgrove they were, "in eachother's arms" he says. Is there a way to explain how from that point on things slowly went downhill, within a space of a few hours...the emotional end to the relationship, then and there ?
the fact that during his timein the Gulf hewit was getting more indiscreet about their affair, using a journalist's mobile phone to clal Diana, boasting when eh got letters, etc.. must have made Diana increasingly unsure she watned to go on with the relationship...
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  #1507  
Old 06-08-2018, 05:46 AM
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the fact that during his timein the Gulf hewit was getting more indiscreet about their affair, using a journalist's mobile phone to call Diana, boasting when eh got letters, etc.. must have made Diana increasingly unsure she watned to go on with the relationship...
Let's assume the war was coming to an end. If you look at it from the front, that's often accompanied by relief and high spirits. Rather than share next to nothing with his men, wearing his heart on his sleeve and beaming on the inside..would in a way, explain the once in a lifetime chance to see Army pals --> stunned <-- when they understood it WAS her on the phone.

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  #1508  
Old 06-09-2018, 04:38 AM
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I can't believe this making excuses for JH's indiscretion. He didn't "share with his army mates" htat would have been appalling behaviour anyway. But he did evne worse.. he hinted to journalists that he and Diana were more than just good friends.. used a journo's mobiele phone to call her.. and this meant that other people could hear the call. I can't believe that you don't realise that absolute discretion was required of Hewitt as Diana's lover because of who she was, and because her positon with Charles was so volatile.. Charles was tolerant of the affair because he belived that JH as an officer and a gentleman would know how to behave, that he would be discreet and loyal and Chas never envisaged that such a man would stoop so low as to actually sell Di's secrets for money..
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  #1509  
Old 06-09-2018, 05:17 AM
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I don't think we'll really ever know what Charles thought of or didn't think of Hewitt as its never been made public knowledge.

When it comes to affairs of the heart, all is fair in love and war and we are only looking at these people from the outside looking in. Hewitt did no better or worse than Diana did at times or a gazillion other people in the world.
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  #1510  
Old 06-09-2018, 05:25 AM
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If you know a "gazillion people" who publicise tehir affairs and betray the secrets of their lovers, I don't...
And I believe that Charles did tolerate the affair, in the belief that James H knew the rules and would keep Diana happy and know how to behave himself.. I can't imagine that he would have believed that JH would sell his love secrets with the Heir to the thrones wife for money. He seems to have gotten rid of Manakee because of his being too close to Diana..
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  #1511  
Old 06-09-2018, 05:27 AM
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Originally Posted by Osipi View Post
I don't think we'll really ever know what Charles thought of or didn't think of Hewitt as its never been made public knowledge.
I fail to see how Charles would have objected to either of them declaring a close friendship. Exactly how would Diana's life have fallen apart, with this revealed to the public...verses Hewitt, who could, or rather would be eviscerated and stood the most to lose, by the military severing his career altogether.
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  #1512  
Old 06-09-2018, 05:34 AM
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James had left the Military by the time he openly admitted the affair.. and I don't know what you mean by your first sentence. What "Clsoe friendship? they were having an affair.. Charles tolerated it, because Hewitt was an officer and a gentleman.. and he assumed that such a man would keep the affair quiet, keep Diana happy and occupited and never reveal the affair.
Hewitt hinted at the affair in the later stages, and Diana became worried that he might sell her out for money and ego boosting..adn she was right. Once he had left the army, he did sell her out. If you think that's acceptable behaivour I can't argue
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  #1513  
Old 06-10-2018, 04:39 AM
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If I had to wager what was going through Charles' mind thinking on the relationship between Diana and Hewitt, it most likely would be "Thank God he's taking her out of my hair and keeping her busy".

By the time both Diana and Charles were finding comfort and solace elsewhere, the marriage was well beyond the stage of repair. In normal circumstances and they were everyday people, it would be around then that a divorce would have been sought after.
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  #1514  
Old 06-10-2018, 05:33 AM
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Originally Posted by Osipi View Post
If I had to wager what was going through Charles' mind thinking on the relationship between Diana and Hewitt, it most likely would be "Thank God he's taking her out of my hair and keeping her busy".

By the time both Diana and Charles were finding comfort and solace elsewhere, the marriage was well beyond the stage of repair. In normal circumstances and they were everyday people, it would be around then that a divorce would have been sought after.
well that is what I said, that he tolerated the affair.. and he problaby assumed that as Hewitt was the right class, he would know how to behave. Charles seems to have had Barry M moved, so he clearly didn't think that an affair between him and Dian was something he could tolerate.. so yes, he pretty obviously thought that JH kept Diana happy, and that meant she was less likely to give HIM grief about Camilla..
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  #1515  
Old 06-10-2018, 08:43 AM
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Originally Posted by Elan View Post
I fail to see how Charles would have objected to either of them declaring a close friendship. Exactly how would Diana's life have fallen apart, with this revealed to the public...verses Hewitt, who could, or rather would be eviscerated and stood the most to lose, by the military severing his career altogether.
I can't understand this at all. Of course Charles would have objected to them "declaring a close friendship" since that would have been tantamount to admitting an affair.. and Diana, when estranged from Charles, was in a very vulnerable position, since she feared that if her affair was revealed to the public ,and they didn't tolerate it but thought badly of her for having an affair, ti was bound to impact on how the RF saw her and how they would treat her if there was a divorce. LUickly, she was forgiven by the public because of people sympathising with her marital unhappiness.. but she was clearly afraid that it might not go well if someone betrayed her affair to the Press. For that reason alone a decent man would have refrained from publicising his relationship with her...
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  #1516  
Old 06-10-2018, 05:10 PM
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Originally Posted by Denville View Post
LUickly, she was forgiven by the public because of people sympathising with her marital unhappiness.. but she was clearly afraid that it might not go well if someone betrayed her affair to the Press. For that reason alone a decent man would have refrained from publicising his relationship with her...
If they comprehended she had been going it alone in the marriage, and Camilla's presence a reality long before Hewitt, she would not be judged severely for enjoying the company of a riding instructor.. allowing others to read between the lines, without calling it an affair.

With a potpourri of authors on Diana's life, I thought it would be straight forward to find a copy of 'Love and War' some time ago through a library, but it took an outside interlibrary search in order to obtain it. Clearly he regrets 'Princess in Love' where the publishers broke their word to Pasternak, insisting that it be a love story.

Although many do not find him endearing, if you decided with an open mind to read what he himself has to say, it would at least present another side to the one sided press coverage which presumes to have him all figured out.
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  #1517  
Old 06-10-2018, 05:15 PM
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To aid in obtaining Hewitt's book for those that would want to read it, its available for cheap ($3.60 USD and free shipping) here.

https://www.abebooks.com/servlet/Sea...+War&kn=&isbn=
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  #1518  
Old 06-11-2018, 01:48 AM
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Originally Posted by Elan View Post
If they comprehended she had been going it alone in the marriage, and Camilla's presence a reality long before Hewitt, she would not be judged severely for enjoying the company of a riding instructor.. allowing others to read between the lines, without calling it an affair.

With a potpourri of authors on Diana's life, I thought it would be straight forward to find a copy of 'Love and War' some time ago through a library, but it took an outside interlibrary search in order to obtain it. Clearly he regrets 'Princess in Love' where the publishers broke their word to Pasternak, insisting that it be a love story.

Although many do not find him an endearing person, if you decided with an open mind to read what he himself has to say, it would at least present another side to one sided press coverage which presumes to have him all figured out.
For a royal woman to admit an affair, at the time when Diana did so, was unprecedented. the public did by and large excuse her but as a one off. nad there are people who criticise her
It is pretty certain that Di would never have admitted the affair, had it not been that James H talked abuot it first. he is NOT a nice person. He knew perfectly well that in talking about the affair, he was betraying diana, betraying the love he claimed to have for her nad possibly destroying her reputation...
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  #1519  
Old 06-12-2018, 06:21 PM
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Although a military person Hewitt doesn't fall neatly into stereotypes of any kind. Self effacing, sensitive, self critical in a way that is not fabricated, but sincere.

They were probably well matched in terms of sense of humor. One highlight from the evening of Charles' 40th birthday - Hewitt amoung the guests in a line waiting to 'greet' Diana. But as it was unfamiliar footing, found himself quite stunned, by the powerful aura she carried in a formal setting. Sparkling and glamorous.

They seldom met at highbrow events.
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  #1520  
Old 06-13-2018, 02:11 PM
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Originally Posted by Elan View Post
Although a military person Hewitt doesn't fall neatly into stereotypes of any kind. Self effacing, sensitive, self critical in a way that is not fabricated, but sincere.

They were probably well matched in terms of sense of humor. One highlight from the evening of Charles' 40th birthday - Hewitt amoung the guests in a line waiting to 'greet' Diana. But as it was unfamiliar footing, found himself quite stunned, by the powerful aura she carried in a formal setting. Sparkling and glamorous.

They seldom met at highbrow events.
Sensitive??? Self critical? A man who has brazenly made a career of being on reality shows and spouting about an affair he had over 20 years ago? If he were self critical, he would hide his head in shame...
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