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  #1281  
Old 11-11-2015, 07:44 AM
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I guess I still love Di. No one is ever innocent but their are levels of accountability.

I understand her view point completely. Even with all her sly dealings. As we say in Philly: do you boo.

Well, Hewitt is responsible for his own actions. He chose to be with a married women and a royal at that. Unlike Charles, he doesn't have the protection of The Firm to insulate himself from all the backlash. Selling letters for profit or no, people will talk.
y
I don't care for the guy, but better that he make money off of them than others, you know? They are his to do with as he pleases. The boys are grown, the heir apparent with his own heir and spare now. Not much more could be revealed in a hurtful way,

Historically and from a psychological perspective we may get more nuggets about Diana. Love her, so will be interested.

We also have a saying, "get money".

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  #1282  
Old 11-11-2015, 09:11 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MARG View Post
I'm sorry, but her "children" are in their 30's and nobody is saying they shouldn't mention her because she was their mother, a great and wonderful influence in their lives and they loved her.

James Hewitt loved her back then, beyond reason. He embarked on an affair with probably the one woman in the world he should not have. He risked everything and lost everything. But unlike her sons, he had been cruelly cut out of her life, he was hurt, angry and didn't really understand what had happened.

Then came Morton's book and the Panorama Interview where she coldly threw him under a bus. People who have been hurt privately hurt alone. She shattered his life and then later, set the dogs on him and he suddenly found himself having to fight back in the full glare of the public as the media trawled and trashed his life. Life as he knew it was over and if he has had a less than sterling career he can hardly be blamed for looking at that time in his life very differently from her sons.

Diana was not a saint and Hewitt is not the Devil. Diana died and James lives on, forever branded as a 'Cad'. To say that you"find it low down for James Hewitt to continue to profit off of an affair he had many, many years ago, which was due to a very painful time in her life" laying the blame for the affair itself on Hewitt is a crock.

A painful time in her life? What is the excuse for each and every other affair Diana engaged in. Were all these men Cads exploiting "a very painful time in her life" too?

I believe he did try to sell the letters privately, probably hoping to sell to a collector, but that, like most things for him, turned to custard.
No one is laying blame for the affair on James's feet, MARG. I have stated many times over that Diana was at fault for the affair as well.

Okay Diana ended their relationship. The best thing to do after that is grow a pair, dust one self off and move on. Hewitt decided to get even and write a book about the affair. He exposed himself to the world as Diana's lover. There are consequences and responsibilities for those kind of actions. Diana too suffered the consequences for the Morton book.
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  #1283  
Old 11-11-2015, 09:51 AM
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Just an off the wall observation here but wouldn't it have made more sense both financially and for publicity if Hewitt had openly decided to sell any letters and whatnots around the time of Diana's death when the letters would actually appeal much more to a buyer?

Best I can see is that at this time he may be in need of funds but he did try and sell the letters quietly away from publicity.
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  #1284  
Old 11-11-2015, 12:36 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MARG View Post
A painful time in her life? What is the excuse for each and every other affair Diana engaged in. Were all these men Cads exploiting "a very painful time in her life" too?

I believe he did try to sell the letters privately, probably hoping to sell to a collector, but that, like most things for him, turned to custard.

None of the others have cashed in the way Hewitt did (and continues to do).

Kay mentioned that Hewitt once bragged he was offered $10 million for the letters; I suspect the only reason he didn't sell them back then is because he was temporarily flush and figured he was sitting on a gold mine.

(I heard he approached an American publisher about another book, and the publisher asked what he could say that was new about Diana. Hewitt replied that the book was about his own life and not just about Diana, and the publisher turned him down on the grounds that no one would be interested in that).
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  #1285  
Old 11-11-2015, 05:28 PM
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This is true. I can't think of any of Diana's other male 'friends' who have profited financially from knowing her.

Hewitt's thinking that a publisher might be interested in his life story without any mention of Diana goes to show his sense of self-importance. It's not as though he was "Stormin' Norman."

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mirabel View Post
None of the others have cashed in the way Hewitt did (and continues to do).
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  #1286  
Old 11-12-2015, 01:02 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dman View Post
Love this quote from the article. It is so humane: "Here was a dashing, once handsome soldier, fortunate enough to have enjoyed a passionate five-year affair with one of the world's most adored women. They were young, beautiful and in love and what happened to them afterwards, not just to Diana, but to Hewitt too, I find heartbreakingly sad."

Exactly so. It's a human story.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Roslyn View Post
We've all formed our own opinions about both Diana and Hewitt by now, based on many and varying factors, each giving weight to some more than others.

I take the view expressed by James Delingpole in the article linked by Dman, that Hewitt is a "flawed human being who deserves the same basic sympathy we all do when we make a mess of our lives."

I don't believe he exploited Diana's vulnerability; not intentionally, anyway. I believe he genuinely loved her and tried to help her at a time in her life when she was very unhappy and desperately needed someone to be devoted to her, but that he was out of his depth and unable to give Diana what she needed, or, indeed, to provide for himself what he needed.

He is a mediocre sort of person and was never going to rise to being at, or even near, the top, of the pecking order. He made some foolish decisions and his life fell apart and he had a bit of a breakdown and he's still in a mess. Ultimately he has only himself to blame, and I'm sure he knows that. He's not an admirable character, but I don't believe he deserves the vitriol that that has been directed at him. I don't believe in kicking a person when they are down.
Excellent post, Roslyn. When I think of the people in my actual life whom I personally know who could get my vitriol, why would I vent spleen on some poor soul I don't even know? I think that's what I find most disturbing about the whole 'Diana Phenomenon', even by association: the way people get caught up in a sort of personal animus towards a kind of celebrity they have no personal knowledge of. I know some will bridle at the suggestion of Hewitt as a celebrity, but he is, just the 'dark side' version of one.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Osipi View Post
Diana could also be very manipulative and when things didn't go her way, she'd totally cut people off. I think she basically looked to how much someone could love her and be there for her rather than realizing that love encompasses a lot of things like compromises, putting the other person first etc. If she had really loved Hewitt, she would have supported him in his military choices and stood besides him rather than ending things because he wouldn't be there for her. Once people were on her naughty list, they became known as "that man" or other derogatory remarks.
You describe what many people experienced with her. By the end of her life, she had her beauty and her wealth, and not much else. Her connection to the BRF as mother to the future king, gave her status in the tabloid press, but she was a harrowingly lonely figure, cut off from the social life of the British aristocracy. I am reminded of the scene painted of her in the restaurant 'quietly weeping', either the night of her death or one of those nights around then: hard to get out of one's head. Fact is, she was desperately unhappy most of her life. Married to a Crown Prince, with every privilege, destined to be a Queen, and still she could not be content, never could be content.

Quote:
Originally Posted by MARG View Post
I'm sorry, but her "children" are in their 30's and nobody is saying they shouldn't mention her because she was their mother, a great and wonderful influence in their lives and they loved her.

James Hewitt loved her back then, beyond reason. He embarked on an affair with probably the one woman in the world he should not have. He risked everything and lost everything. But unlike her sons, he had been cruelly cut out of her life, he was hurt, angry and didn't really understand what had happened.

Then came Morton's book and the Panorama Interview where she coldly threw him under a bus. People who have been hurt privately hurt alone. She shattered his life and then later, set the dogs on him and he suddenly found himself having to fight back in the full glare of the public as the media trawled and trashed his life. Life as he knew it was over and if he has had a less than sterling career he can hardly be blamed for looking at that time in his life very differently from her sons.

Diana was not a saint and Hewitt is not the Devil. Diana died and James lives on, forever branded as a 'Cad'. To say that you "find it low down for James Hewitt to continue to profit off of an affair he had many, many years ago, which was due to a very painful time in her life" laying the blame for the affair itself on Hewitt is a crock.

A painful time in her life? What is the excuse for each and every other affair Diana engaged in. Were all these men Cads exploiting "a very painful time in her life" too?

I believe he did try to sell the letters privately, probably hoping to sell to a collector, but that, like most things for him, turned to custard.
Great summation, MARG.

I think he is stalked because he is an easy mark. There is some blood lust that is roused when he is cut and the hounds bay. It's inexplicable, and inexcusable, to me. Why is every man who dared bed Diana pilloried? It's an odd thing. Hewitt most of all, it seems, because he actually had a sustained relationship with her. There seems to be a mathematical ratio: length of time associated to amount of spleen directed. Charles tops the list, then comes Hewitt, and so on.

It's good to see that people have a measured view of Diana. Let's hope one day the same can be said for Hewitt. The vitriol is not healthy and these tabloids have a lot to answer for that haunted, hunted look in Hewitt's eyes. Sadly, I think Diana gets sympathy and a 'pass' because of her social class. Hewitt does the unthinkable, imagines he is of equal worth to a lover who was of higher class than he. Hewitt's life story would be fascinating/interesting reading. I doubt a publisher turned him down for the reasons supposed. I think, if true, there is fear of the long arm of the BRF squashing any truths Hewitt might care to spill about a future king's mother.
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  #1287  
Old 11-12-2015, 03:46 AM
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Hewitt is the only one trying to cash in on Diana - true - but he is also the only one in need of money ...

Obviously he is not much of a businessmen - all his attempts at enterprises failed. He was good at beeing an officer - but any further carreer in the military wasn't any longer possible, after Diana threw him under the bus.
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  #1288  
Old 11-12-2015, 10:15 AM
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He knew the risks to his career due to being involved with Diana. He made that choice to take the risk.


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  #1289  
Old 11-12-2015, 11:24 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dman View Post
No one is laying blame for the affair on James's feet, MARG. I have stated many times over that Diana was at fault for the affair as well.

Okay Diana ended their relationship. The best thing to do after that is grow a pair, dust one self off and move on. Hewitt decided to get even and write a book about the affair. He exposed himself to the world as Diana's lover. There are consequences and responsibilities for those kind of actions. Diana too suffered the consequences for the Morton book.
That is false.

The affair was exposed before Hewitt wrote his book which was published in 1998.
The affair was revealed in 1991 by The News of the World newspaper.

The spotlight returned in 1992, when Colin Campbell's book came out.

Diana was responsible for the Morton book. She is solely responsible for the Morton book.
Why try to blame anyone for her actions?

The Morton book actually was Diana's solution to quiet the media about her affairs and it worked. Diana did not suffer any consequence for the Morton book.
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  #1290  
Old 11-12-2015, 11:48 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Queen Camilla View Post
The Morton book actually was Diana's solution to quiet the media about her affairs and it worked. Diana did not suffer any consequence for the Morton book.
I think it did. If there was any kind of a smoldering ember that remained of her marriage, the Morton book was the tsunami that permanently put it out.
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  #1291  
Old 11-12-2015, 11:56 AM
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Originally Posted by Osipi View Post
I think it did. If there was any kind of a smoldering ember that remained of her marriage, the Morton book was the tsunami that permanently put it out.
IMO, the marriage was over, there was nothing smoldering except resentment.

They had been living apart since 1986/7.

In August 1991, the second honeymoon was a disaster.

The Morton book came out 9 months later.
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  #1292  
Old 11-12-2015, 11:59 AM
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I disagree. She reaped immediate rewards of public sympathy in the aftermath of the Morton book but the long term fallout was fatal to her reputation within the intimate confines of the BRF, her social standing, and especially to her marriage. It became known almost immediately that contrary to her protestations, she had colluded with Morton and actively encouraged her friends to do the same. So while Charles was exposed as an adulterer and (falsely) as a bad father, even Diana's friends and supporters began to see her as less than honest and pure, to put it mildly.

All this hashing over of the Hewitt affair is so sad and ultimately pointless. I see Diana as far from blameless-and she did indeed behave in a selfish and irrational manner the way she encouraged his attentions then cut him off. But I am more sympathetic to her than to him primarily because she lacked the emotional resources to ever behave any differently than she did. Chronologically she was a young, adult woman...spiritually, emotionally and psychologically Diana never left adolescence.

Unfortunately this seemed to be true until the day she died.

Hewitt, on the other hand, was supposed to have been an officer and a gentleman drilled and steeped in the time honored traditions of the military...discipline, honor, discretion. I agree 100% with Pranter who wrote that he knew, or should have known, the risk of becoming sexually involved with the wife of a fellow officer(the PoW) who was also his future king. The fact that he was treated badly by Diana(he definitely was) and was wounded by the affair is hardly the point.

The brunt of the responsibility to behave with honor and discretion in this mess fell mostly to HIM, imo.
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  #1293  
Old 11-12-2015, 12:07 PM
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I think technically he committed treason by having an affair with the wife of the heir. It's not like he didn't know what he was doing.


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  #1294  
Old 11-12-2015, 12:17 PM
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He did indeed Pranter, but then so did Diana...three hundred years earlier they both would have been confined to the Tower and probably have been executed.

Interestingly enough I have read that Charles encouraged the affair from the beginning, as it left him free to pursue his own illicit relationship with the wife of Andrew Parker-Bowles(yet another fellow officer!) with fewer pangs of guilt.
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  #1295  
Old 11-12-2015, 12:55 PM
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Yes of course it would of applied to her. However talking about his actions as a officer.



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  #1296  
Old 11-12-2015, 01:07 PM
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Originally Posted by Osipi View Post
I think it did. If there was any kind of a smoldering ember that remained of her marriage, the Morton book was the tsunami that permanently put it out.
Wasn't the straw that broke the camel's back the Panorama interview? Don't get me wrong- the Morton book didn't help. It was a big no no in the eyes of the Royal family too.
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  #1297  
Old 11-12-2015, 01:53 PM
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I think its when she first actually brazenly went public (despite denying that she had any involvement with the Morton book) and the trials and tribulations of the marriage were hung out to dry publicly that the line in the sand was crossed. It was after the Panorama interview that the realization that divorce was the only solution was determined.

Up until the Queen gave her recommendation and assent for a divorce, I honestly think that Diana believed she would remain Princess of Wales permanently regardless of the status of their living situation and that the Prince of Wales would divorce was out of the question.
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  #1298  
Old 11-12-2015, 01:56 PM
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Never thought of it like that- but I think you are right.
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  #1299  
Old 11-12-2015, 02:02 PM
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I think Diana thought that if she raised enough fuss the Queen would 'force' Charles to stop his affair with Camilla and return to the marriage. I think the divorce idea was just a threat on Diana's part used as leverage against Charles.


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Old 11-12-2015, 05:40 PM
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There are two sides and several points of view.

However double standards should not be accepted.

IMO, Hewitt behaved honorable considering how he was treated.

If Hewitt was a cad he could have written 'his story' and included all her letters in this book as soon as she dumped him.
He did not.

Or he could have written his book after the Morton's book came out.
He did not.

After the Panorama interview he could have come forward and stated, 'I did not let her down. I was true to her even after our relationship ended. I will publish my side of the story. I will say nothing more until then.'
He did not.

Or after the Panorama interview, he could have kept quiet and in complete secrecy, had the book published with all her letters in it.
He did not.

Anytime between 1991-1996, he could have simultaneously launched this book in the U.K; U.S., Canada, Australia, New Zealand without releasing early copies or excerpts to the media.
He did not do this.

He had several opportunities to write the book and include her letters in the book during her lifetime.
He did not.

She would have been raked over the coals if he had published his book right after the Panorama interview.

Image if he had published his book with her letters in 1992 before the Morton book.

AFAIK, he never published her letters and only wrote his story after her death.
(Did not read his book so do not know what he said.)
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