Diana and James Hewitt

[Elan]

It's water under the bridge now, but we never heard her thoughts on country life, or times spent together at his family's Ebford cottage, where Diana was said to be very fond of Hewitt's mother. When they were a couple, the mother did express a concern about his winding up hurt in the relationship. Wisdom.

Hewitt has a point when he says, "She would have made the perfect Army wife, but it was not to be." For someone who pined as much as she did to be normal, it doesn't get any more normal. 'Saying' you want that life is fine but without the grounding it won't get you there. Though it seems far fetched now, if her aspirations had been more modest, and less easily impressed by fascinating, brilliant men, they might still have the cottage today.
www.express.co.uk/news/royal/536148/Princess-Diana-James-Hewitt-cottage-sale

 

[Denville]

As far as I can see, Hewitt and his mother prattled about Diana and country life and her feelngs about this and that. Tehir affair was private, it was meant to be secret, for the sake of Diana's reputation and he talked of it, to make money. End of.

 

[Elan]

I have to really believe that James Hewitt was the "golden boy" in Diana's eyes..

Diana's beauty was always center stage, but JH was about as 'dashing' a young man in the area of sweeping ladies off their feet as one could expect.

https://people.com/royals/princess-diana-ex-james-hewitt-heart-attack-stroke/

 

[Mirabel]

It's water under the bridge now, but we never heard her thoughts on country life, or times spent together at his family's Ebford cottage, where Diana was said to be very fond of Hewitt's mother. When they were a couple, the mother did express a concern about his winding up hurt in the relationship. Wisdom.

Hewitt has a point when he says, "She would have made the perfect Army wife, but it was not to be." For someone who pined as much as she did to be normal, it doesn't get any more normal. 'Saying' you want that life is fine but without the grounding it won't get you there. Though it seems far fetched now, if her aspirations had been more modest, and less easily impressed by fascinating, brilliant men, they might still have the cottage today.

Can you really see Diana living happily in a country cottage?
Diana was a city type, she grew easily bored in the country.
She might go for a week or two, until the novelty wore off, but she would not have been happy for long, imo.

And I don't think Hewitt would have lasted anyway, whether or not he went to the Gulf.

 

[Osipi]

I have to agree with you, Mirabel. Often times when life is not the happiest or as comfortable as one would like it to be, the grass always looks greener on the other side of the fence. The getting away to a country cottage and being able to roam the meadows in total privacy was the opposite of what Diana's life was like at the time and for Diana, to escape into a world of total privacy and anonymity, it was a blessed relief from the life that surrounded her.

Would it last if it was permanent? I don't think so. Most likely, being stuck on that side of the fence in the meadows would always highlight the positive allure of what was on the other side of the fence that she had left behind and she'd have regrets.

 

[XeniaCasaraghi]

You ever heard that saying "there are girls you sleep with and there are girls you marry"? Hewitt was just someone you sleep with, the man has no depth and even someone as unintellectual as Diana would be bored after awhile.

 

[Elan]

Can you really see Diana living happily in a country cottage?
Diana was a city type, she grew easily bored in the country.
She might go for a week or two, until the novelty wore off, but she would not have been happy for long, imo.

Had she applied herself with the same fortitude of other causes, then you have an idyllic little place for weekends or as time allowed. If the cottage originally had land around it for riding, walks, trails, etc, it's a shame it didn't remain that way, rather than parcelled off like a typical property. And it would have sparkled after being fixed up by her.

But if she was not committed to him...then no.

 

[Mirabel]

Diana hated riding and avoided it whenever possible.
She simply wasn't a fan of country life.
Never could wait to get away from Balmoral, and that's about as country as you can get.

 

[Ista]

And when she was forced to spend time in the country there are plenty of accounts of how she spent most of her time either watching TV or plugged into her iPod. She was not a lover of country pursuits.

 

[XeniaCasaraghi]

Really Diana had an iPod? Man she must have had a time machine as well. [emoji15][emoji81]

 

[Ista]

Really Diana had an iPod? Man she must have had a time machine as well. [emoji15][emoji81]

Lol, you're right! She did listen to music a lot, but not obviously on an iPod.

 

[Osipi]

Most likely if Diana did listen to music during that time, it was the Walkman kind of thing. Many places I've read stated that she used the Walkman with earphones to practice her dancing.

 

[Pranter]

Personally I don't think Diana disliked the country. I think she disliked, after a point, being in the country with the BRF.

She grew up in the country and she appeared to enjoy that. I've yet to see anything, direct quote, from Diana indicating she had an issue with being in the country.


LaRae

 

[Curryong]

Perhaps the country might not have been an issue. However I believe James's career, especially if he continued in the army and was posted abroad for any length of time, would have been.

As would, IMO, Hewitt's lack of any private income. As Prss of Wales Diana had grown used to a certain lifestyle. Even if that was cut back I think Diana would have become mightily sick of it being her alone paying for their holidays in the sun, a new apartment in London somewhere, and all those little sundries that add up when two people share a life.

 

[Elan]

Diana hated riding and avoided it whenever possible.
She simply wasn't a fan of country life.

Maybe not riding, but she seemed to like an open space, particularly if it was near water. Possibly anything having to do with a coastline, a beach, or near a beach, held her interest. Devon is quite close to that.

 

[Denville]

Personally I don't think Diana disliked the country. I think she disliked, after a point, being in the country with the BRF.

She grew up in the country and she appeared to enjoy that. I've yet to see anything, direct quote, from Diana indicating she had an issue with being in the country.


LaRae

IIRC Hewitt said that she enjoyed the country and riding iwht him.. and it is possible that she did find some enjoyment in weekending there, when she had a fairly congenial companion. being with him was for short periods an escape from the strain of her public liefe as Princess and from the difficulties of her marriage. But Im not sure she would have wanted a permanent life in a country cottage...

 

[Denville]

Diana hated riding and avoided it whenever possible.
She simply wasn't a fan of country life.
Never could wait to get away from Balmoral, and that's about as country as you can get.

That's not quite true. She learned to ride as a child but fell of a pony and brok her arm, and then lost her nerve for the sport. But she did make the effort to learn again with Hewitt, so she can't be said ot have "avoided it wherever possible." I think that she enjoyed it to an extent, when with Hewitt.. gentle exercise on a quiet horse.. with a pleasant companion. She hated Balmoral because of the heavy emphasis there on blood sports like shooting and fishing and the fact that life there was isolated and she was stuck with the very formal social life with the RF.

 

[Pranter]

There are pictures of her riding with the Queen...so I don't think she hated it at all, she was just afraid after the injury.


LaRae

 

[Denville]

I dont think she hated it, but it wasn't a favourite sport of hers....

 

[Elan]

England being a smaller country, etiquette and culture tend to be noticed in various articles written. It becomes clear that public condemnation can suddenly take on a life of it's own there. It gets much easier to see why Diana was consumed as she was with media reports swirling one day to the next about her. The military in having ties to the Monarchy were quick to heap scorn on Hewitt, holding him accountable for his acting like a cad. Though he was one of their own, it's likely some trace of envy, jealousy, registered with top military brass that the relationship happened at all.. Can you imagine, right under their noses..! ?

It was more acceptable for Diana to act as a ghost writer in something she wanted in the public domain, but for Hewitt to go down a similar path with Pasternak, was in several ways comparable to chumming on a boat with a group of sharks in the area.

 

[VictoriaB]

It was more acceptable for Diana to act as a ghost writer in something she wanted in the public domain, but for Hewitt to go down a similar path with Pasternak, was in several ways comparable to chumming on a boat with a group of sharks in the area.

I'm not so sure it WAS more acceptable for Diana to use Morton as a ghostwriter. If I recall the confirmation Diana was Morton's source didn't come out until after she was dead although it was widely suspected at the time the book was published. So by the time it did come out Diana was almost beyond criticism. Yes, she is criticised or critiqued now but at the time of her death it was almost treason to question her behaviour.

Hewitt, on the other hand, never denied he was Pasternak's source and, of course, it was a terrible book written more like a Mills and Boon novel. The Morton book read like a serious, weighty, academic, well-researched piece by comparison (and I don't think it was any of those things).

 

[Osipi]

England being a smaller country, etiquette and culture tend to be noticed in various articles written. It becomes clear that public condemnation can suddenly take on a life of it's own there. It gets much easier to see why Diana was consumed as she was with media reports swirling one day to the next about her. The military in having ties to the Monarchy were quick to heap scorn on Hewitt, holding him accountable for his acting like a cad. Though he was one of their own, it's likely some trace of envy, jealousy, registered with top military brass that the relationship happened at all.. Can you imagine, right under their noses..! ?

It was more acceptable for Diana to act as a ghost writer in something she wanted in the public domain, but for Hewitt to go down a similar path with Pasternak, was in several ways comparable to chumming on a boat with a group of sharks in the area.

The statement I've put in bold made me remember something. Although it was someone in the US military, I remember his wife at the time telling me that it was definitely taboo for any military officer to be having an affair. Something about a code of conduct expected of officers and gentlemen. I did a little looking around and found several articles where a relationship such as James and Diana had (regardless of whether she was Princess of Wales or not) would have had serious repercussions heaped on Hewitt.

The disdain heaped on Hewitt when his relationship with Diana became known would have happened regardless of who Hewitt was involved with if it was a relationship that the military would deem being morally wrong.

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/men/thi...-the-military-a-matter-of-life-and-death.html

 

[Queen Claude]

Charles also had an affair with a wife of a military officer, and it was brought to the Queen's attention that his brother officers had problems with it, yet Charles continued the affair and he has not been subject to the almost universal disdain as Hewitt. Don't get me wrong, Charles has definitely suffered repercussions, but Hewitt having an affair with the the Princess of Wales, and the kissing and telling, cost him dearly.

 

[Osipi]

I guess it all gives credence to the age old adage that "love is blind but the neighbors ain't" eh?

 

[Elan]

Hewitt, on the other hand, never denied he was Pasternak's source and, of course, it was a terrible book written more like a Mills and Boon novel. The Morton book read like a serious, weighty, academic, well-researched piece by comparison (and I don't think it was any of those things).

What little I know about Mills and Boon; male ardor stereotype holds sway to win over a female with unwavering passion and confidence. However, the feeling in the book indicates a trusted officer, patient instructor who after months of knowing her received an invite to dinner. He presumed nothing as far as advances were concerned, and most of the time checks himself not to cross the line as far as affections. Seated together on the couch, he makes no advance, until the defining moment she snuggled close to him. If that is true, Hewitt waited an eternity to allow himself to ponder anything romantic between them.

The disdain heaped on Hewitt when his relationship with Diana became known would have happened regardless of who Hewitt was involved with if it was a relationship that the military would deem being morally wrong.

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/men/thi...-the-military-a-matter-of-life-and-death.html

Educational and thanks for the link..

 

[Denville]

Charles also had an affair with a wife of a military officer, and it was brought to the Queen's attention that his brother officers had problems with it, yet Charles continued the affair and he has not been subject to the almost universal disdain as Hewitt. Don't get me wrong, Charles has definitely suffered repercussions, but Hewitt having an affair with the the Princess of Wales, and the kissing and telling, cost him dearly.

Did Charles write a book about his affair with Camilla, telling secrets and doing his best to ruin her reputation? Did he hint that other men were her lovers or that he ws the father of one of her children? Has he made a career going on TV talking about his relationship?
this is what has disgusted people about Hewitt. An "officer and a gentleman" if he ahs an affair, does not tell all about it or make money out of it...

 

[Mirabel]

Charles also had an affair with a wife of a military officer, and it was brought to the Queen's attention that his brother officers had problems with it, yet Charles continued the affair and he has not been subject to the almost universal disdain as Hewitt. Don't get me wrong, Charles has definitely suffered repercussions, but Hewitt having an affair with the the Princess of Wales, and the kissing and telling, cost him dearly.

The disdain wasn't due to the affair but to Hewitt's cashing in on it, blabbing intimate details to all and sundry even decades later!
That is the reason so many despise him.

 

[Al_bina]

It is interesting to read debates about military officers' honour/moral standards. One might assume the upper circles (military and business) of UK and USA tend not to be anchored to the above-mentioned chimeras. Mr Hewitt was ostracised because he was caught.

 

[Pranter]

No he was ostracized because he talked and wrote books/interviews about his relationship...not because he was caught.


LaRae

 

[Elan]

Most would agree it was highly commendable that Diana worried around the clock when Hewitt deployed. If it's true she had the television on all the time for reports each day, to gain a solid understanding of what was developing, it's impressive. Along with visits to chapels and prayer, apparently she identified with Army wives in the way they quietly endure uncertainty as conflicts carry on. Wanting to do her part, though not permitted to visit the Gulf, the fact she endeavored to boost morale for troops and surely would have...speaks highly.

As anyone knows who for a time has been separate from a loved one, there is always a slight adjustment before things are back to normal again. Not unusual by any means. The moment they saw one another at Highgrove they were, "in eachother's arms" he says. Is there a way to explain how from that point on things slowly went downhill, within a space of a few hours...the emotional end to the relationship, then and there ?