Charles and Diana

[TLLK]

I agree.
Diana's relationship with Khan was over, and I don't believe she was ever serious about Dodi.

I always felt she didn't truly expect the divorce to go through and was shocked when it did. She seemed at a loss in the last days of her life.

Sadly I have to agree that she was never serious about Dodi Al Fayed and that she was definitely shocked when the divorce occurred. It seemed to me that she was very lost in those months prior to her death.

Robert Lacey said he believed Diana was "spiraling down" after the divorce, and I tend to agree with him.

Apart from Khan, I found her choice in men to be very poor.

 

[Curryong]

Yes, very true. Especially her choice of husband.

 

[Sandy345]

Diana looked healthier and happier after the divorce. She was finding her footing and would have been IMO a major player in charity work. It was too bad she married Charles instead of someone who would have cherished her and appreciated her.

I thought Diana looked great after the divorce. She need not have rushed into a marriage she had projects lined up.

https://www.google.com/search?q=dia...a9IXIBw&bih=657&biw=1366#imgrc=_DhWZIj3T7tsEM

 

[TLLK]

Yes, very true. Especially her choice of husband.

I have to agree with you. Unfortunately Khan appears to be the only decent man that she had a relationship with in her lifetime.
Had she lived, I hope that she would have found someone to have a genuine and loving relationship.

 

[CyrilVladisla]

Do you believe that Diana would have been content to marry a British aristocrat if he truly cared for her?

 

[Countessmeout]

As long as he didn't expect her to sit at home and be the lady of the manor, and supported her continuing charity work, I don't see why not.

But it would either have to be the younger son of an aristocrat or one who had ben married before (either divorced or a widower) with children. As much as people see her as this eternally young beauty, she was 36 when she died. She didn't have a ton of years left for having kids. Even in 1997 still many people looked at 40 as the cut off with concern for birth defects. An aristocrat with an estate and title to pass on is going to want some children to do so. Unless he met and married one in like a year, so at like 37, that wouldn't have left much room.

And at that point in her life was she really wanting more children ether?Having not had a baby in 13 years, many would not be quick to return to that stage. She had moved past the baby stage, and into the my sons are old enough to be at boarding school and I can travel and work more. A new baby would change that dynamic even with nannies.

 

[Denville]

Guess we have different views.

Robert Lacey said he believed Diana was "spiraling down" after the divorce, and I tend to agree with him.
(The men she chose were just awful, imo).

I dont think they were all "awful". Khan was a decent guy but there were problems such as their cultural and religious differences and his dislike of the idea of the press chasing him all the time. Oliver Hoare was fond of her, but he was married and never intended the affair to be a long standing one...
But it was difficult for Diana to find a new man. When you've been married to the Prince of Wales, and been so famous, its not that easy to find someone else.
Its hard to say what would have happened to Diana.. but I agree that she did seem lost after the divorce and was at times struggling. I think that perhaps she had never truly believed the divorce would happen, and while she wanted it in some ways, in other ways, it left her lost. She could see Charles moving on with his life and I don't think she had really taken into account the fact that getting a divorce WOULD free him to have a steady relationship with Camilla or possibly marry her. And she herself had lovers but apart from Khan there was noone who loved her enough to want to marry her. (And a lot of the men she'd meet at that age were likely to be married or have families and baggage of their own) But Khan while he loved her had his problems with the idea of marriage...I think she was unhappy in the UK but when you have 2 children who are members of the RF its not that easy to move away...

 

[Denville]

As long as he didn't expect her to sit at home and be the lady of the manor, and supported her continuing charity work, I don't see why not.

But it would either have to be the younger son of an aristocrat or one who had ben married before (either divorced or a widower) with children. As much as people see her as this eternally young beauty, she was 36 when she died. She didn't have a ton of years left for having kids. Even in 1997 still many people looked at 40 as the cut off with concern for birth defects. An aristocrat with an estate and title to pass on is going to want some children to do so. Unless he met and married one in like a year, so at like 37, that wouldn't have left much room.

And at that point in her life was she really wanting more children ether?Having not had a baby in 13 years, many would not be quick to return to that stage. She had moved past the baby stage, and into the my sons are old enough to be at boarding school and I can travel and work more. A new baby would change that dynamic even with nannies.

I think if Di had had a happy marriage, she would have done some charity work but she might not want the large scale stuff that she had done.. which involved a lot of travelling...
I dont know if she was seriously wanting another child.. Will and H were teenagers and she might like the idea but find the realties of another pregnancy after such a long gap a bit tiring.
But i dont think an English aristocrat was likely to fall for Diana or her for him, because I think she'd moved away from the British aristocracy.. and even a modified version of her lifestyle just would not fit with their dislike of Publicity and the press...

 

[Osipi]

After the divorce became a reality, I don't think Diana really had any ideas about a remarriage. When she died, she had only been divorced for a year and was still finding her way on how she wanted her "single" life to be.

From experience, I know that the first year is a confusing one. Its not unusual to want to "test the waters" and try new relationships. Many times these are just what is called "catalyst" relationships. They very rarely are ones that lead to marriage and a happy ever after.

She did love and admire Dr. Khan but I seriously don't think that relationship would have led to marriage any time soon after the divorce. Perhaps down the road if they grew together it would have. Dodi was someone that was there and fun at the time but I think Diana would have tired of him pretty quick. Basically, Diana was trying to find her niche in the world of where she wanted to focus her energy and attention and from, what I understand, she had some projects in the works that she was formulating.

Being newly divorced is a huge adjustment for anyone let alone someone as much in the public eye as Diana was. Who knows what would have happened if she had been able to live and pursue her own path.

 

[Denville]

I think that tere were several problems with Khan which were diffuclt to overcome.. He didn't want to disappoint his parents who expected him to marry within his culture.. he himself wanted to go back to Pakistan. He didn't like the media circus and Diana was used ot it and while it stressed her it was also part of her life which connected her with her public.
And while Khan was while comfortably off, he was a lot poorer than Diana. But i think that she and he undoubtedly loved each other, and it was difficult for them to finish off the relationship. I think Dodi was just an amusement but she got caught into the affair because of MAF's trying to get them together and win Diana for his son.
I think Diana was a bit panicked by the divorce. She and Charles had been living separate lives for many years but she wasn't I think really expecting a divorce to happen. And it upset her that by pushing things so that the marriage ended, she was in effect giving Charles what he wanted which was his freedom. I think it wasn't till the divorce happened that she really realised she would never be queen, that she was cut out of the RF, and that Camilla might well end up taking her place as C's wife and Queen. And she herself was shaken up, didn't have a steady boyfriend, wasn't sure what she wanted to do with her post divorce life. She had ideas about charity work but while she liked doing it, I think she was more concerned then about her private life and how it wasn't going that well

 

[Mirabel]

Apart from Khan, I found her choice in men to be very poor.

I don't see what was so great about Khan.
He put everything else ahead of his relationship with Diana, and I felt he regarded her as some sort of trophy.

Also, he seemed to have a narcissistic streak.
Diana broke it off for a reason, and it wasn't because he was such a wonderful guy.

 

[Denville]

I don't see what was so great about Khan.
He put everything else ahead of his relationship with Diana, and I felt he regarded her as some sort of trophy.

Also, he seemed to have a narcissistic streak.
Diana broke it off for a reason, and it wasn't because he was such a wonderful guy.

If he regarded her as a trophy he had an odd way of showing it, since he never appeared iwth her in public, didn't even apparently notice her when they first met.. and has rarely talked about her. She broke it off becuase she could see that although she loved him and he her, the differences were too great. He told her at one stage that he thought that Pakistan was almost the only place where they could live a private life (as Di claimed to want) but according to him, when she visited Pak she told him that she didn't think it would be ok for them. And I think that the truth is although she did love him, he knew that she would never be able to adjust to a private life of the kind he wanted.. concentrating on his work. And I think when she had paid a few visits to Pak and met his family she came up against the fact that it was a very different place to what seh was used to and that his family, while they liked her, would not accept her as his wife.. so she gradually gave up her hopes of a marriage with him. And she met Dodi, who seemed nice at the time and was it seemed eager to court her and willing to be seen out iwth her.. so she broke off with Khan and went on with her relationship with Dodi..

 

[Osipi]

I don't see what was so great about Khan.
He put everything else ahead of his relationship with Diana, and I felt he regarded her as some sort of trophy.

Also, he seemed to have a narcissistic streak.
Diana broke it off for a reason, and it wasn't because he was such a wonderful guy.

I think Khan was the kind of doctor that one would say was "married to medicine". He was always going to be one that would put his work and his patients first in his life and once again, Diana would be playing second fiddle to the role and responsibilities of the man she was with.

Diana did try to manipulate things her way in the relationship with Khan. She took it on herself to go to Pakistan and meet with his family. She also tried to set it up so that Khan would have a job in South Africa and they would ride off into the sunset together and live happily ever after. I think Khan resented this kind of manipulation and that was a driving factor between their break up at the time. Diana didn't get what she wanted and Khan resented the intrusion into his family and his professional life and didn't want any part of that. Its understandable. I do think they loved each other but couldn't reach a compromise that was a happy solution for the both of them.

One thing that kind of impressed me was Khan stating after hearing how Diana died and the displacement of her heart was "I could have fixed that". I do think he sincerely loved her and perhaps if she had lived, they might have found a happy medium that suited the both of them.

 

[Mirabel]

He told her at one stage that he thought that Pakistan was almost the only place where they could live a private life (as Di claimed to want) but according to him, when she visited Pak she told him that she didn't think it would be ok for them. And I think that the truth is although she did love him, he knew that she would never be able to adjust to a private life of the kind he wanted.. concentrating on his work. And I think when she had paid a few visits to Pak and met his family she came up against the fact that it was a very different place to what seh was used to and that his family, while they liked her, would not accept her as his wife.. so she gradually gave up her hopes of a marriage with him. And she met Dodi, who seemed nice at the time and was it seemed eager to court her and willing to be seen out iwth her.. so she broke off with Khan and went on with her relationship with Dodi..

Yes, I think Pakistan was a wake-up call for her. Diana had a tendency to romanticize things, and didn't take it well when reality set in.

But there is just something about Khan that I never liked.

 

[MARG]

I liked Khan. I believe he was a very talented surgeon holding a very prestigious place in his field of medicine. Diana once again fell in love with an illusion she created in her own mind.

Khan was and is a gifted surgeon and would never be able to have been "Mr Diana", and I believe her inserting herself into his personal life appalled him. Visiting his family and trying to interfere with his career was just not something he could cope with and that's before their cultural differences had time to end things. Not being seen with Diana was essential to him to enable him to do his job. Exposure to the press would have had devastating repercussions.

 

[Sandy345]

Khan said he loved Diana (in various interviews), perhaps he had unrealistic expectations about her and the relationship. If he did not want her and the life was not for him, he should have stopped seeing her. He was apparently content to visit her at KP while she cooked dinners for him and did not want to go public. If he did not want the relationship, he should not have encouraged it. Khan never really settled down, perhaps he did not want to settle down but he should have been honest about it. He did marry someone of his culture but it only lasted two years.

Famous women or women married to famous men tend to have not a so easy time to remarry . Jackie Kennedy wanted security and married an ultra wealthy man, I doubt it was a love match and it did not work out. She waited 5 years to remarry. Diana may or may not have remarried or she could have had a long term partner.

 

[TLLK]

I liked Khan. I believe he was a very talented surgeon holding a very prestigious place in his field of medicine. Diana once again fell in love with an illusion she created in her own mind.

Khan was and is a gifted surgeon and would never be able to have been "Mr Diana", and I believe her inserting herself into his personal life appalled him. Visiting his family and trying to interfere with his career was just not something he could cope with and that's before their cultural differences had time to end things. Not being seen with Diana was essential to him to enable him to do his job. Exposure to the press would have had devastating repercussions.

Yes like you I believe that essentially he is a good man but a high profile relationship was not something he truly wanted.

 

[Betsypaige]

I have to agree with you. Unfortunately Khan appears to be the only decent man that she had a relationship with in her lifetime.
Had she lived, I hope that she would have found someone to have a genuine and loving relationship.

I would say Charles is a good and decent man.........but if you're talking about actual relationships (because that was not good for either of them), then that's a shame IF that's what she was looking for. Like I posted recently, it seems like Diana was doing well at the end of her life ....she was happy and was looking forward to a bright future.

I love Robert Lacey, but........what is his interpretation of spiraling downward ? She was seeing some different men, right? That doesn't mean Diana wasn't doing well. Maybe she was just having fun.

 

[Osipi]

I have to agree that Diana wasn't "downward spiraling" but rather trying to find her footing on an uncertain path. Up until the final divorce decree, she pretty much had things going a certain way as The Princess of Wales. After the divorce, as a single woman and mother, finding a "niche" isn't done overnight.

The first year after a divorce is a tricky time for any of us let alone someone as much in the public eye as Diana was. I do think if she had lived, she would have found where she wanted to be and what she wanted to do and, of course, her boys would always have come first in her life.

 

[Denville]

I would say Charles is a good and decent man.........but if you're talking about actual relationships (because that was not good for either of them), then that's a shame IF that's what she was looking for. Like I posted recently, it seems like Diana was doing well at the end of her life ....she was happy and was looking forward to a bright future.

I love Robert Lacey, but........what is his interpretation of spiraling downward ? She was seeing some different men, right? That doesn't mean Diana wasn't doing well. Maybe she was just having fun.

I dont think she was. her affair with Khan which was the best one she had, had become too difficult to maintain and she felt she had to end it. She moved on to Dodi Fayed, who didn't care for her and was courting her at the orders of his father. She may have had a few weeks of fun with him, but he was essentially not interested in her and was ditching his girlfriend to be with her. That was hardly going to end well...I dont think she was all that happy. She was dipping in and out of charity work, she had lost a man she loved, and she knew that she had lost her marriage and her chance of being queen...
She loved her boys and they were very important to her but I think she was worrying that they were being pulled into the Windsor life, and might grow away from her...

 

[Sandy345]

I think the man she loved "lost her." Khan admitted he loved her but I think just did not want to settle down. He got married some years after Diana died to someone not famous and of his same culture but it only lasted two years. I think Diana and Dodi were fond of each other, I don't think they were in love, they just started dating. Nobody is happy all the time, DIana kept active and at her events was cheerful and enjoyed herself. She had been married since she was 20 and after the separation then divorce she was readjusting. Charles did not marry Camilla immediately after his divorce he waited 8 years so he may have had some readjusting to do as well. Diana shared custody with Charles and I don't think there was any danger of their sons growing away from her.

 

[Mirabel]

Khan said he loved Diana (in various interviews), perhaps he had unrealistic expectations about her and the relationship. If he did not want her and the life was not for him, he should have stopped seeing her. He was apparently content to visit her at KP while she cooked dinners for him and did not want to go public. If he did not want the relationship, he should not have encouraged it.

That's what I meant by saying he regarded her as a trophy.
Not the kind of trophy where he'd parade her around at events, but a secret sort of treasure to gloat over privately.

I don't think he did love her, but he couldn't help but feel flattered by her love for him. (Despite the fact that he knew it wouldn't work out...well, he didn't really want it to work out anyway).

 

[Betsypaige]

I have to agree that Diana wasn't "downward spiraling" but rather trying to find her footing on an uncertain path. Up until the final divorce decree, she pretty much had things going a certain way as The Princess of Wales. After the divorce, as a single woman and mother, finding a "niche" isn't done overnight.

The first year after a divorce is a tricky time for any of us let alone someone as much in the public eye as Diana was. I do think if she had lived, she would have found where she wanted to be and what she wanted to do and, of course, her boys would always have come first in her life.

Divorce sucks - most of my brothers and sisters have been through it, and my own parents each were divorced prior to marrying each other (in fact, my father was my mother's divorce lawyer, lol). Fortunately in their case, the divorces went pretty smoothly and there were never any issues with the kids, etc. My point is, even though divorce DOES suck, in many ways it's best for the parents (and the kids) - and even though I'm sure Diana was feeling the end of her marriage, it was her opportunity (once she'd recovered) to find the same kind of happiness that Charles did. Her recovering, by the way, does not mean she was in a downward spiral, so I think Robert Lacey might not understand what she was going through. Admittedly, I did NOT follow Diana, but if she was upset, if she was particularly sensitive.....well, of course; she'd just gone through a traumatic experience. Again, not a downward spiral.....it's called being human.

 

[Betsypaige]

I dont think she was. her affair with Khan which was the best one she had, had become too difficult to maintain and she felt she had to end it. She moved on to Dodi Fayed, who didn't care for her and was courting her at the orders of his father. She may have had a few weeks of fun with him, but he was essentially not interested in her and was ditching his girlfriend to be with her. That was hardly going to end well...I dont think she was all that happy. She was dipping in and out of charity work, she had lost a man she loved, and she knew that she had lost her marriage and her chance of being queen...
She loved her boys and they were very important to her but I think she was worrying that they were being pulled into the Windsor life, and might grow away from her...

As I don't know anything about this Khan, I have to avoid really saying much about him - except, if he DID say that he "could have fixed her"......I don't like that statement. Was he referring to her broken heart?

I have read that Diana was never serious about Dodi, so...even if he wasn't serious about her, they were having a fling. Why not? Well actually, if he had a girlfriend, that's not a good thing......

We're not close enough to state for sure that Diana was happy or not. Most likely she had her ups and downs.........which is to be expected.

 

[Osipi]

As I don't know anything about this Khan, I have to avoid really saying much about him - except, if he DID say that he "could have fixed her"......I don't like that statement. Was he referring to her broken heart?

I have read that Diana was never serious about Dodi, so...even if he wasn't serious about her, they were having a fling. Why not? Well actually, if he had a girlfriend, that's not a good thing......

We're not close enough to state for sure that Diana was happy or not. Most likely she had her ups and downs.........which is to be expected.

First off, I believe that the statement made by Dr. Khan about "fixing" Diana was because that is what he does professionally. Hasnat Ahmad Khan, FRCS is a British-Pakistani heart and lung surgeon. Its his field of expertise as a cardiac surgeon. Not her "broken" heart in any way. He was devoted to his profession and Diana used to meet him at his apartment and cook for him and spend time with him in the hospital and was sincerely interested in the work he did.

As I mentioned before, Diana did try and manipulate things to the point of getting Dr. Khan a job in his profession in South Africa that didn't probably go down too well with him. "Diana once asked Dr. Christiaan Barnard, the heart transplant pioneer, to help her and her then-sweetheart -- a leading British-based heart surgeon -- move to South Africa, the Sunday Times reported."

https://buffalonews.com/news/diana-...cle_d7b9c570-cf61-5bfe-9135-4403611b954d.html

So, no.... the sentiments that Dr. Khan expressed, I believe, were genuine and indicative that he wished he could have been there and done something for her when it was needed. ?

 

[Alison H]

I think Mohammed al-Fayed tried to promote the image of Diana and Dodi as two people who were madly in love, because, as a grieving father, it helped him to think that Dodi had died alongside his soul mate, not a woman with whom he was just having a bit of fun. That's understandable. But I don't think it actually was a great romance. After marrying very young, and having a marriage that'd gone wrong pretty early on, I doubt that Diana was looking to rush into another marriage.

 

[Denville]

As I don't know anything about this Khan, I have to avoid really saying much about him - except, if he DID say that he "could have fixed her"......I don't like that statement. Was he referring to her broken heart?

I have read that Diana was never serious about Dodi, so...even if he wasn't serious about her, they were having a fling. Why not? Well actually, if he had a girlfriend, that's not a good thing......

We're not close enough to state for sure that Diana was happy or not. Most likely she had her ups and downs.........which is to be expected.

If he did ssay this, he was a heart surgeon and might have been able to operate but I think her injuries were so severe that unless she had been operated on literally immediately, nothing could have saved her...
As for Dodi, he had a girlfriend and they were planning ot marry. He courted Diana because his father pushed him into it.

 

[Denville]

I think Mohammed al-Fayed tried to promote the image of Diana and Dodi as two people who were madly in love, because, as a grieving father, it helped him to think that Dodi had died alongside his soul mate, not a woman with whom he was just having a bit of fun. That's understandable. But I don't think it actually was a great romance. After marrying very young, and having a marriage that'd gone wrong pretty early on, I doubt that Diana was looking to rush into another marriage.

Possibly there was some "human feeling" in his attempts to believe that Diana and Dodi were in love.. but he must have known that they weren't really in love in any sense. He was the one who had pushed his son into a romance with Diana, ordering him to break off wit his girlfriend.. so IMO it was much more of a cynical desire to convince the world that they had been a happy in love couple.. because of his ambitions to get himself or his family into the Brtish upper classes. He promoted the idea to the world, but he must have known that the romance was at best a very fleeting one...

 

[Denville]

Divorce sucks - most of my brothers and sisters have been through it, and my own parents each were divorced prior to marrying each other (in fact, my father was my mother's divorce lawyer, lol). Fortunately in their case, the divorces went pretty smoothly and there were never any issues with the kids, etc. My point is, even though divorce DOES suck, in many ways it's best for the parents (and the kids) - and even though I'm sure Diana was feeling the end of her marriage, it was her opportunity (once she'd recovered) to find the same kind of happiness that Charles did. Her recovering, by the way, does not mean she was in a downward spiral, so I think Robert Lacey might not understand what she was going through. Admittedly, I did NOT follow Diana, but if she was upset, if she was particularly sensitive.....well, of course; she'd just gone through a traumatic experience. Again, not a downward spiral.....it's called being human.

Diana was a very fragile person emotionally.. and while they'd reached a point where divorce was the only option, she was very ambivalent about it an I think that while she had hoped to get out of the marriage, she still had problems emotional and practical that made her life difficult. She did rush into a romance with Dodi, which was fairly public and which was not likely to end well... She said it was just a summer romance but even so, to find that your boyfriend had a woman he was on the point of marrying is upsetting even if you're not in love with him,.. MA Fayed was exploiting her loneliness by pulling her into this relationship, and if she fully realised it before she died it might have been difficult for her to cope iwht... yet another rejection. And MAF's organisation was so chaotic that they couldnt protect her properly...

 

[Denville]

That's what I meant by saying he regarded her as a trophy.
Not the kind of trophy where he'd parade her around at events, but a secret sort of treasure to gloat over privately.

I don't think he did love her, but he couldn't help but feel flattered by her love for him. (Despite the fact that he knew it wouldn't work out...well, he didn't really want it to work out anyway).

I think he did want it to work out but he knew it wouldn't. He didn't plan to meet and fall in love with a semi divorced Princess, He was devoted ot his work and probably that was the main thing in his life. He loved Diana, but it was best for both of them to keep the relationship discreet, as she was married at first and he didn't want public attention. He wanted to go back to Pakistan where he could work for his people there and I think with the best will in the world Diana would have found it hard to adjust to life as a middle class doctors wife... so Khan could see a lot of obstacles...I think as he got to know her better he could see more nad more problems. She was used ot the Publicity of her life and I think he knew she would not really be happy if it was totally gone.. She would not be happy in Pakistan so far away from her sons and from the life she had known...
I think Diana knew on some level that it wouldn't work out either, as a permanent relationship but she was always inclined to be very determined when she fell for a man, and to cling ot a belief that they would find a way to work things out.. so she stayed in the relationship though they did break up on and off.