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  #3421  
Old 01-24-2017, 04:12 PM
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Originally Posted by Anfisa View Post
If thats the case then I can't see why any self-respecting woman with a career would marry a royal :/

So are you saying a woman can't be 'self respecting' if she changes careers in order to make a relationship work?


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  #3422  
Old 01-24-2017, 04:54 PM
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Finding a royal bride now a days is much harder than fifty years ago. Fifty years ago very few women had careers. And those who did work, majority grew up with the idea, when you marry, you stay home. Marriage and kids were the ultimate goal for the majority. There were exceptions of course,

Now women are as ambitious as men. You see women climbing the ranks in every field. They may marry and have Kidd, but that is what nannies and day cares are for. The idea of giving up a career that you studied and worked your butt off for, for a husband and kids wouldn't appeal to a majority. A lawyer used to arguing in a court, settling for attending a dinner or cutting ribbons? Doctor going from surgery to hospital tours? There is a minority, where women are looking to simply marry and dream if being housewives.

The reality is a royal either has to marry young, or find a woman willing to sacrifice everything they built. Kate was fresh out of college and didn't seem to mind only having a job do she could be available, and not pursuing her own career. Unless a royal marries young, or a socialite with no career goals, it is hard. You have to find a woman who loves you enough to give up their freedom, privacy, and any career they made. There is of course a difference between a career and a job, a job much easier to leave. I think certain careers might make it easier. Working in PR like Mary for instance. Being a royal is very much a PR position in many ways. Letizia and Meghan have a different step up. Not that their careers are similar to being royal, but they are used to public attention and spotlight. That offers a comfort zone.

I think as time goes on consideration is going to need to be given to modernization. William has been allowed a career outside of duties, but Kate never would have been. Harry could have remained in the army but his wife won't be allowed to. Since being a royal, even a full time royal, is not a full time job, there could be a balance.
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  #3423  
Old 01-24-2017, 06:02 PM
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While the BRF may need to modernize a bit when it comes to a spouse of a senior royal working, there will be certain areas where a career could be seen as a conflict of interest too. For example, Meghan continues to design after her marriage to Harry. All of a sudden, whatever "brand" or "fashion house" or whatever that she designs for seems to have the "seal of approval" from the royal family because she's a member. So I would think anything commercial would be ruled out as a no go. The Middletons have had their fair share of accusations that they're "cashing in" on their daughter's connections.

For all we know, should it turn out that Harry and Meghan make their relationship a permanent one, Meghan may feel that the opportunities and the platforms to choose from to be involved in with the Firm could be the grandest venue to make a difference that she could possibly have dreamed of. Icing on top of the cake of a loving home and family life.
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  #3424  
Old 01-24-2017, 06:07 PM
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Marrying a royal is not about giving up a career, its about starting a new one with your partner.

Someone mentioned Q Maxima, CP Mary etc in an earlier post. This was their thinking. Being with the man you love and starting a new career. Yes!!!

People shouldn't be so negative.
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  #3425  
Old 01-24-2017, 06:30 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cepe View Post
Marrying a royal is not about giving up a career, its about starting a new one with your partner.

Someone mentioned Q Maxima, CP Mary etc in an earlier post. This was their thinking. Being with the man you love and starting a new career. Yes!!!

People shouldn't be so negative.
I guess it's really all a matter of perspective. If you're a someone who has prepared for and achieved a measure of success in a certain field, marrying into the BRF absolutely means "giving up a career." For some, it would be a great sacrifice. I don't think acknowledging that is negative.
  #3426  
Old 01-24-2017, 06:47 PM
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I guess it's really all a matter of perspective. If you're a someone who has prepared for and achieved a measure of success in a certain field, marrying into the BRF absolutely means "giving up a career." For some, it would be a great sacrifice. I don't think acknowledging that is negative.
You miss the point or perhaps I'm not explaining it too well -
it is about starting a new life and having success in that.

Successful life isn't about success in one career. Most successful people have used success in one "life" to build on success in another.

To think success stops is negative.
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  #3427  
Old 01-24-2017, 06:48 PM
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I do think though that it would depend on the field of the career also. Lets say Harry met and fell in love with a cardiac specialist. That career could be one that could continue perhaps even in the same vein that William worked for EAAA. She also could be the member of the Firm that took on issues such as heart health, nutrition to prevent heart attacks and even perhaps join in with Head Together highlighting how mental health can and does affect the physical health while still seeing patients at a clinic or something.

I think the whole issue would be how her career could mesh with the Firm instead of working against it and be seen as a conflict of interest.
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  #3428  
Old 01-24-2017, 08:32 PM
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Originally Posted by Osipi View Post
I do think though that it would depend on the field of the career also. Lets say Harry met and fell in love with a cardiac specialist. That career could be one that could continue perhaps even in the same vein that William worked for EAAA. She also could be the member of the Firm that took on issues such as heart health, nutrition to prevent heart attacks and even perhaps join in with Head Together highlighting how mental health can and does affect the physical health while still seeing patients at a clinic or something.

I think the whole issue would be how her career could mesh with the Firm instead of working against it and be seen as a conflict of interest.
that example sounds fine but in the UK it is more complex. Health care is run/financed by the Government but is supplemented by individuals who pay for private care. Health care is politicised. the balance that a royal doctor has between private and public patients would be called into question ........

In the UK the "nanny" state touches on every aspect of our lives. That's what makes the difficulty.

And those who want to respond and say that isn't right or it shouldn't be like that - tough! It is like that and that's how it is. I have said it's going to be difficult because it will be because this isn't the US (and no, we wont change because you want us to) or Europe (same).

It has been done, it can be done and it will be done in the future. But don't brush aside the issues. Have respect for those like Philip, Camilla, Sophie and Catherine who have managed them.
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  #3429  
Old 01-24-2017, 09:01 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cepe View Post
You miss the point or perhaps I'm not explaining it too well -
it is about starting a new life and having success in that.

Successful life isn't about success in one career. Most successful people have used success in one "life" to build on success in another.

To think success stops is negative.
On the contrary, I think you've made yourself quite clear. Again, this is a matter of perspective. Some of us have careers that are very much a part of our identity, and marrying into the BRF would quite literally mean foregoing an essential part one's self concept. It's is not the "end" of success but it is a loss that shouldn't be trivialized. And I don't think that acknowledgeing that loss means that you can't appreciate what is gained in the bargain.
  #3430  
Old 01-24-2017, 09:04 PM
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Thanks for the explanation why working in the medical field wouldn't be feasible at all either.

We're putting the cart before the horse though when it comes to Harry's future wife and a career. Most likely too, I think that any woman that has reached 35 and has established a career would definitely know her own heart on how easily she would give that up for any reason. Its a very individual decision.

As we don't know for sure just where this relationship is headed or how serious it really is, we just have to be patient and see what happens.
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  #3431  
Old 01-24-2017, 09:11 PM
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Thanks for the explanation why working in the medical field wouldn't be feasible at all either.

We're putting the cart before the horse though when it comes to Harry's future wife and a career. Most likely too, I think that any woman that has reached 35 and has established a career would definitely know her own heart on how easily she would give that up for any reason. Its a very individual decision.

As we don't know for sure just where this relationship is headed or how serious it really is, we just have to be patient and see what happens.
Agree on carts and horses. But I still think that it isn't giving it up, it would be developing or redirecting.

I changed my career direction at 26, 35, 49 and again at 57 - every time building on what I'd learnt before. I found it exciting - using my existing skills and knowledge and learning new info.
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  #3432  
Old 01-24-2017, 09:20 PM
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I definitely agree with you. Its called growth. Doors constantly open and close in our lives and it takes courage to go forward into the unknown. Careers sometimes are the parachutes you wear when you jump.
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  #3433  
Old 01-24-2017, 09:22 PM
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Well put, Cepe.

I think it should be added to that there is a perception (however inaccurate) that members of the BRF are supported by taxpayer money. It's not at all reality, but there is that conception. For a member of the BRF - at least a senior one who would otherwise be expected to perform engagements - to be working full time, making money... especially if there job is in the public sector in some way (ie a doctor), is perceived as well paying (ie an actor), or is in a sector that can lead to the perception of the royal profiting from being royal.

This is a big reason why when William started working for EAAA Kensington Palace made a point of saying that his salary was going to be donated.
  #3434  
Old 01-24-2017, 10:02 PM
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Many people stay in the same career for their working life. You don't have to change careers to grow. You take promotions, new challenges, new responsibilities. Doctors for instance are often extremely ambitious people. Their success is not hampered by not changing careers. They grow within the medical field.

The reality is Yes you are giving up a career. You may be getting a new one, but that doesn't mean you aren't still leaving a career behind.

Honestly if you marry a royal it better be About more than love. You may say you are happy to give up your old career, freedom And privacy but all marriages have a honeymoon period. Your marriage is not always going to be happy, especially when you have outside stresses. If the only thing that makes you happy is your spouse, you are going to be miserable. There has to be something more.

Are you happy changing careers? Will you be satisfied cutting ribbons? And even then, only part time at best. Are you prepared to spend your free time at home with kids (not everyone dreams of being a stay at home mom). The reality of total hours, it is like being a housewife in the fifties. Your main job is home with the Kids. But you were involved in ladies groups, church, had dinner parties for your husbands work. In this case though the church groups and dinner parties are royal engagements. The excitement of trooping, Ascot and holidays will wear off.

Honestly I would never. No matter how much I loved the guy. Being Kate would be miserable for me. I didn't spend over eight years in. University to do 200 engagements or so and even those tours and shaking hands. I am a nurse. I need to be taking care of people, and I don't mean as a mom. I don't need to be a royal to make a difference. I likely put in twice as many volunteer hours a year, ontop of a full time job, as royals do.

So yes, for royals as long as there are double standards about working, there will be issues finding spouses in modern times. And the older they wait to marry the harder it will be. The longer a person is working and building their life, the less likely to give it up even for love. Usually when you marry, you build a life by blending with your husband. Not giving up all you are.
  #3435  
Old 01-25-2017, 12:02 AM
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Originally Posted by Countessmeout View Post
Many people f stay in the same career oath their working life. You don't have to change careers to grow. You take promotions, new challenges, new responsibilities. Doctors for instance are often extremely ambitious people. Their success is not hampered by not changing careers. They grow within the medics. Field.

The reality is Yes you are giving up a career. You may be getting a new one, but that doesn't mean you aren't still leaving a career behind.

Honestly if you marry a royal it better be About more than love. You may say you are happy to give up your isn career, freedom And privacy but all marriages have a honeymoon period. Your marriage is not always going to be happy, especially when you have outside stresses. If the only thing that makes you happy is your spouse, you are going to be miserable. There has to be something more.

Are you happy changing careers? Will you be satisfied cutting ribbons? And even then, only part time at best. Are you prepared to spend your free time at home with kids (not everyone dreams of being a stay at home mom). The reality of total hours, it is like being a housewife in the fifties. Your main job is home with the Kids. But you were involved in ladies groups, church, had dinner parties fir your husbands work. In this case though the church groups and dinner parties are royal engagements. The excitement if trooping, Ascot and holidays will wear off.

Honestly I would never. No matter how much I loved the guy. Being Kate would be miserable for me. I didn't spend over eight years in. University to do 200 engagements or so and even those tours and shaking hands. I am a nurse. I need to be taking care of people, and I don't mean as a mom. I don't need to be a royal to make a difference. I likely put in twice as many volunteer hours a year, ontop of a full time job, as royals do.

So yes, for royals as long as there are double standards about working, there will be issues finding spouses in modern times. And the older they wait to marry the harder it will be. The longer a person is working and building their life, the less likely to give it up even for love. Usually when you marry, you build a life by blending with your husband. Nit given up all you are.
All good points. But ultimately, the importance of one's career varies depending on the woman. What might be impossible for you or I could very well be acceptable for another. Not every woman prioritizes a career, which is why I imagine some royal women are ok with giving up established careers. And doing so doesn't make them any less self respecting or admirable.
  #3436  
Old 01-25-2017, 01:17 AM
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Some details about Meghan's recent activities in India.

Inside Meghan Markle's Moving Charity Visit to India - Us Weekly
  #3437  
Old 01-25-2017, 02:41 AM
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I think someone who's really invested in their career, wouldn't even pursue a relationship with a royal of Harry's level, not a serious one anyway. I might be completely off the mark, but I think Meghan might find equal satisfaction, and be passionate about other aspects in her life, acting isn't the only thing she has going on. Perhaps she'd love a platform, where she can make a difference through charities, which she's already been doing before meeting Harry. And IF she and Harry do get married, she'll get more of a platform for that.

IMO, and I'm only guessing, the fact that she has stopped posting on her personal IG, suggests, that the she and Harry are getting more serious, and thinking about a future together.

BTW, I love that crazy stalkers didn't deter her India trip. The trip is getting press attention now, without security risks.
  #3439  
Old 01-25-2017, 08:55 AM
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Originally Posted by Curryong View Post
Some details about Meghan's recent activities in India.

Inside Meghan Markle's Moving Charity Visit to India - Us Weekly
So the "reports" about the trip being cancelled for security reasons were clearly wrong.
Good for Meghan!
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  #3440  
Old 01-25-2017, 09:33 AM
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Originally Posted by Curryong View Post
Some details about Meghan's recent activities in India.

Inside Meghan Markle's Moving Charity Visit to India - Us Weekly
This article was very informative and on point. I think hygiene issues and how it affects girls in poverty is an important and specific issue. I hope Meghan continues to focus on this. I do hope that the media has start to cool down, its great to see they can focus on Meghan and Harry's individual projects without being stupid or silly.
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