Harry and Meghan: Wedding Suggestions and Musings


If you have answers, please help by responding to the unanswered posts.
Status
Not open for further replies.
I think asking "permission" is generally done after the couple has already made the decision to marry. My husband asked my dad "permission" after we'd already announced our engagement. I'm pretty sure my dad used the occasion to put the fear of dire retribution should my husband not do right by me. :lol:

I think this is closer to the truth of the situation. I really doubt Harry actually asked Tom and Doria for their "permission" to marry Meghan.

Actually, if I look at the announcement again, it says he asked for their blessing rather than their permission. Does that make it better? That Harry wanted their blessing rather than somehow insinuating Meghan is their property?

I'm sure some people still find a problem with that but to me it seems courteous, especially since marrying Harry changes Meghan's life (and by extension theirs) exponentially.
 
Last edited:
I think to ask parent for permission has nothing wrong, marriage is about two families (I would say it is to ask for blessing and support rather than actual permission, or a permission for him to be their newly son-in-law:lol:). It has nothing to do with feminism.
 
Last edited:
Harry asking the Queen is because he is legally obligied to, marrying Meghan (or any one) without it would cost him a lot.

My main issue with premmision or blessing is still that it was “sought” (meaning asked) rather than announced to them. It’s the wording of the act that bothers me.
It bothers me because there is no mention of Meghan seeking Charles or the queen blessing or permission to marry him - queen permission needed due to succession law not withstanding.
I’m sure t could have been a better way to word it, a more “with the times” way.

Again, that is simply my personal opinion.
 
Harry asking the Queen is because he is legally obligied to, marrying Meghan (or any one) without it would cost him a lot.

My main issue with premmision or blessing is still that it was “sought” (meaning asked) rather than announced to them. It’s the wording of the act that bothers me.
It bothers me because there is no mention of Meghan seeking Charles or the queen blessing or permission to marry him - queen permission needed due to succession law not withstanding.
I’m sure t could have been a better way to word it, a more “with the times” way.

Again, that is simply my personal opinion.

Each couple who marries can do it in their own way, and it shouldn’t “bother” others, who are also free to do it in their own way.
 
Traditions are a wonderful thing when it comes to a wedding but there are some traditions that are thankfully long done away with. Back in medieval times, it wasn't unusual for the Lord and Master of the area to claim "First Night" at a wedding of couples on his estate. After the wedding ceremony, it would be him that bedded the bride first. Now that is treating a bride as a possession.

I don't think its a strike against feminism at all to ask dad (and mom) for permission to marry their daughter. Its a courtesy and in a way, asking acceptance to become a member of their family. Harry, we know, asked his grandmother, as monarch, for permission to marry and I wouldn't be surprised if he consulted his father and brother when he was contemplating proposing marriage. Those family members that are close to the two people that are contemplating marriage would be in the loop and know how things stand long before anything "official" happens.

Although there are different options that could be taken. I would lay my bet of my last bowl of cranberry sauce that it will be Mr. Tom Markle escorting his daughter up the aisle in May.

The 'Doit de Segneur' is a totally made up thing. Contrary to it 'not being unusual,' there's no evidence of it ever happening. Not in Europe anyway. It might sell historical romances, but it isn't true any more than medieval Scots wearing kilts.
 
Mother and father walking a bride down the aisle is becoming increasingly more common in the US. I absolutely love it and I would be thrilled to bits if Meghan did that.

Would both parents be allowed to do this? Or is there a strict rule in the Church of England stipulating that only the father may walk the bride down the aisle?
 
Ooops and here I was thinking that the "first night" thing was an actual historic fact. Thanks for setting me straight on that. I do have to agree with you also about kilt wearing in Scotland in medieval times. The item of clothing we know as the kilt was first designed in 1720. Then out they went. The Dress Act 1746 was part of the Act of Proscription which came into force on 1 August 1746 and made wearing "the Highland Dress" including tartan or a kilt illegal in Scotland as well as reiterating the Disarming Act. (checks off her learn something new everyday box for the day).

Its interesting how as time passes, things become romanticized, exaggerated, mythical and legendary. Some continue on down through the ages in different forms and some are totally obliterated. I think with the last part of the 20th century and into the 21st century, this is happening with marriage ceremonies. The "obey" is definitely distasteful and "permission" reeks of ownership and we're at the point now where its a couple's decision on how they go about doing things.

One of the most newest way of doing things I've seen was with a bridal couple who decided that in stating their vows, it was changed from "until death do us part" to a pragmatic "as long as we both shall choose". Different strokes for different folks I guess.
 
I hope Harry gets rid of the beard for the wedding. Just my opinion but I prefer my men clean-shaven. (Hubby grows a beard sometimes but he never leaves it more than a couple of months because he knows I prefer him without).

I guess because my dad had a beard, I don't associate it as being fanciable in a man.

Would both parents be allowed to do this? Or is there a strict rule in the Church of England stipulating that only the father may walk the bride down the aisle?

Good grief the CofE has no such stipulation, and they can walk down together as a couple if they want. The Church of England is really not that severe.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
Ugh...if a guy wanted to say 'as long as we both shall choose' instead of 'death do us part' I wouldn't marry him!


LaRae
 
I hope Harry gets rid of the beard for the wedding. Just my opinion but I prefer my men clean-shaven. (Hubby grows a beard sometimes but he never leaves it more than a couple of months because he knows I prefer him without).

I guess because my dad had a beard, I don't associate it as being fanciable in a man.

Meghan hasn't known him without his beard--I hope he wouldn't shave it right before the wedding:ohmy::eek:
If that's what he might want to do, he should do it soon, so there is time to grow it back if need be...
 
Last edited by a moderator:
I hope Harry gets rid of the beard for the wedding. Just my opinion but I prefer my men clean-shaven. (Hubby grows a beard sometimes but he never leaves it more than a couple of months because he knows I prefer him without).

I guess because my dad had a beard, I don't associate it as being fanciable in a man.

God, no, I hope he keeps the beard forever and ever. He looks 100x hotter with the beard.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
I much prefer a man with a beard too. Very rugged and masculine looking. Hubby has had a beard for the 28 years I've known him and the only time I didn't care for it was when (being retired) he let it grow out and he had a Duck Dynasty thing going on which made me cringe.

https://www.google.com/search?q=duc...AhWFOCYKHX5cB78Q9QEILzAB#imgrc=OY4WMe3klLZX7M:

Harry's beard is always nicely groomed and looks marvelous on him so I vote he keeps the beard. :D
 
I hope Harry gets rid of the beard for the wedding. Just my opinion but I prefer my men clean-shaven. (Hubby grows a beard sometimes but he never leaves it more than a couple of months because he knows I prefer him without).

I guess because my dad had a beard, I don't associate it as being fanciable in a man.

Nooooo!!!! :lol:

I think Harry looks good without a beard but I much prefer him with the beard. I'm partial to beards anyway, as I find that they often make a man more handsome/sexier.

Harry seems to love the beard too and at this point, he may not feel completely himself or comfortable without it.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
Ooops and here I was thinking that the "first night" thing was an actual historic fact. Thanks for setting me straight on that. I do have to agree with you also about kilt wearing in Scotland in medieval times. The item of clothing we know as the kilt was first designed in 1720. Then out they went. The Dress Act 1746 was part of the Act of Proscription which came into force on 1 August 1746 and made wearing "the Highland Dress" including tartan or a kilt illegal in Scotland as well as reiterating the Disarming Act. (checks off her learn something new everyday box for the day).

Its interesting how as time passes, things become romanticized, exaggerated, mythical and legendary. Some continue on down through the ages in different forms and some are totally obliterated. I think with the last part of the 20th century and into the 21st century, this is happening with marriage ceremonies. The "obey" is definitely distasteful and "permission" reeks of ownership and we're at the point now where its a couple's decision on how they go about doing things.

One of the most newest way of doing things I've seen was with a bridal couple who decided that in stating their vows, it was changed from "until death do us part" to a pragmatic "as long as we both shall choose". Different strokes for different folks I guess.

We'll, my dad passed away years ago, and my husband and I walked into our ceremony room together, and I would have wanted that even if my dad had been alive. I have far more respect for Diana not vowing to obey than Sarah and Sophie obeying. Marriage is a partnership not one person ordering another around. To say you'll obey is not living in the real world.

The thing that annoys me the most though, is that in England and Wales (not Scotland or Northern Ireland) only the father's name appears on the marriage certificate. Funnily enough, when they brought in Civil Partnerships in the UK (I think in 2004) the mother's name DOES go on the certificate for those. There was a campaign to get the mother's name on marriage certificates a couple of years ago but I am not sure if it succeeded. I mean, most peoples' mums did more to raise them than their dads, including pushing them into the world. I know one girl was furious because she had been brought up totally by her mum, her dad left when her mum was expecting her, but his name was going to appear on her marriage certificate and her mum's wasn't!
 
Ok none of this 'no beard' talk...that better not even happen!


LaRae
 
It is traditional in the Jewish religion that the groom parents walk him to the chupah while the bride parents walk her (after the groom is already under it), in some streams within Judaism the mothers will walk the bride while the fathers walk the groom.
But even that is slowly dying as more Jews are become less religious.
Some couples have been entering together, some apart, some walk alone without the parents. It depends on the couple and the nature of the wedding.

I have always liked this particular aspect of Jewish weddings, it seems like a lovely idea to give both parents a turn at walking the bride. I think it's better than having just the one parent walk with the bride.
 
Last edited:
The only reason I don't think the Royal Family has ever bothered with rehearsal dinners is that it would come with a degree of formality that would make it a little impractical and also, it's not as if they don't know the form or how to behave. It would be an odd thing. I would expect some subtle tribute to Meghan's heritage in the form of her bouquet, coat of arms or dress but a rehearsal dinner seems unlikely. Especially as Lady Anson is probably making the finishing touches to her party at the Goring as we speak, which is pretty much as close to a rehearsal dinner as the Royal Family gets.

Which party is this at the Goring?
 
I have always liked this particular aspect of Jewish weddings, it seems like a lovely idea to give both parents a turn at walking the bride. I think it's better than having just the one parent walk with the bride. Given the fact that Meghan's father is Jewish it would be nice if she could include this aspect in her wedding in May, but I think she'll probably just have her father walk her down the aisle.

He's not Jewish, he is Episcopalian. This has been confirmed.
 
Harry looks 10x better with the beard. I hope he keeps it.
 
I just realized that this is a difference between British royal weddings and the weddings I'm used to attending. At the ones I'm used to, the groom stands at the altar facing the congregation and watches his bride approach him every step of the way. Harry did have to peek at Kate.

Osipi, I have never thought of that either. I wonder what the traditions are behind both ways for the groom to stand at the altar.
 
Ugh...if a guy wanted to say 'as long as we both shall choose' instead of 'death do us part' I wouldn't marry him!


LaRae

Wait, wait, what? Is that even a possibility?

I just realized that this is a difference between British royal weddings and the weddings I'm used to attending. At the ones I'm used to, the groom stands at the altar facing the congregation and watches his bride approach him every step of the way. Harry did have to peek at Kate.

Both options are okay with BRF. I think I read somewhere that William and Kate together decided that he won't be facing the side she'll be walking because she wanted for him to see her for the first time at the altar.
I think Edward was watching Sophie as she was walking, so it's certainly possible for Harry to do the same.
 
There's no UK tradition about whether the groom turns around to look at the bride or not. It's really up to each individual groom.

Wait, wait, what? Is that even a possibility?



Both options are okay with BRF. I think I read somewhere that William and Kate together decided that he won't be facing the side she'll be walking because she wanted for him to see her for the first time at the altar.
I think Edward was watching Sophie as she was walking, so it's certainly possible for Harry to do the same.

I think it's a pity as he'd have got a better overall view of her as she was coming towards him that when she was right beside him. If I had been William I think I'd have said to Harry, let me know when she's 20 feet away.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
I have always liked this particular aspect of Jewish weddings, it seems like a lovely idea to give both parents a turn at walking the bride. I think it's better than having just the one parent walk with the bride.

Yep. It’s a cool tradition and one, of barely a handful, that for modern eyes, does does not bring up thoughts of “This was done to suppress women” and easily modified to fit with our modern times where a woman is not any man possession.
I’m sure like many old time religious based traditions this too has a female suppression reason to it. I’m too lazy and tired to look it up though.
 
I walked down the aisle with my husband to be. No one gave me away because no one owned me it shocked a lot of people. I didn’t obey either. This is a long time ago
I think television and, by default, Hollywood, have a lot to answer for. When it came time for the Swedish Crown Princess to marry she wanted her father to "give her away".
All hell broke loose at the notion of such an archaic break with Swedish traditiion which, as with Norway, the bride and groom walk to the altar together. After much angst, the King walked her halfway to where her fiance stood and kissed her hand and went to join his wife.

Here you have a situation of an independent woman wishes to marry and we don't know whether she's going traditional or modern. Either way, it will have HM's blessing and, I should imagine, the Church. If one thing is certain it is that whatever happens will be Meghan and Harry's decision and as being a feminist means having the right to make your own decisions, that's all th counts.
Ugh...if a guy wanted to say 'as long as we both shall choose' instead of 'death do us part' I wouldn't marry him!


LaRae
I agree he should definitely be history. But, as a matter of interest, what sort of people do that? The six month trade-in brigade!
 
Yeah I've never heard of it...why bother to marry if that is the attitude?


LaRae
 
Isn't there a thread for the discussion of Meghan's possible wedding dress? Not complaining but discussing a possible dress and the style and the material isn't on my top ten list of things I like to talk and read about. Wedding details yes. Will Meghan and Harry travel and put her bouquet on the Grave of the Unknown Soldier? I'd really love to see them do that.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top Bottom