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  #3061  
Old 11-01-2017, 07:42 PM
Aristocracy
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cocoasneeze View Post
I'm agreeing with those saying, that Meghan wouldn't be moving to UK only to date Harry. She'd be giving up her career, livelihood, privacy etc just to be someone's girlfriend. She wouldn't be able to work, just because she'd be stalked by the paparazzi, she wouldn't have any of the rights or benefits of a royal fiancé or wife, but would have all the rules and restrictions of one. And call me crazy, but I don't think Harry would expect Meghan to move to UK just to date him either. What I've seen from him in this relationship, IMHO he's more than willing to put on his half of the effort and work to make this work and to meet Meghan half way. He's very aware of the restrictions dating him causes, he wouldn't want Meghan to do all that foot work alone.
Exactly. From everything I've seen and heard from him, I think he would push for a balanced relationship, not one with Meghan having to take all the risks. Remember he released that statement because he knew how unfair it was that Meghan and her family was suddenly being harassed and attacked all because she chose to date him. I do not see him asking or expecting Meghan to take on even more of the burden or baggage that comes with his lifestyle without him having to make much effort or any sacrifices at all.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ish View Post
I also think that a person who has been divorced once and is the child of divorced parents may see the benefit in having spent time living in the same country as their significant other before a formal engagement.
You mean like the benefit in dating for years before an engagement/marriage, only for said marriage to end in divorce?

As I said, if you're in love and committed to one another, then I think any couple can tackle the challenges that may come with not having lived together or in the same country.

Quote:
Meghan has already drastically altered her life without an engagement. She’s altered much of her public persona, she’s not promoted the show that she’s working on, she’s not pursuing other acting roles, she’s given up a clothing line, and she’s closed a lucrative website. All without a ring on her finger. To assume that she wouldn’t also leave Suits and move to the UK without a ring simply because she’s a strong independent woman is illogical.
There's a big difference between giving up side projects or altering your public persona and giving up your main source of income to move to another country without another job waiting for you. That's a huge sacrifice to make just to continue dating someone.
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  #3062  
Old 11-01-2017, 07:44 PM
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There are no guarantees in life...

Harry and Meghan are mature adults, well into their thirties. Yes, they could postpone getting engaged until they had lived in the same city for a few months, and postpone marriage for a few months beyond that.

But to what point? There is no guarantee that that would cause them to back out if the relationship seemed unlikely to work; nor that a few months more would guarantee a ‘happily ever after’ scenario.

I say, marry, and marry soon! Marry while your relationship is fresh, and hot, and warm!
Start your married life on a wave of passion, and passionate friendship, and passionate optimism! That’s the kind of people you are.

And let that wave propel you forward through the years ahead, the good times and the hard times. Give yourselves a reason to succeed, not an excuse to fail.

Don’t lose or waste what you have by being timid!
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  #3063  
Old 11-01-2017, 07:51 PM
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Meghan is an actress, so it's not like she can't work while living in London. In fact, there are tons of actors that don't live in Hollywood or NYC. And for all we know, Meghan was tired of acting and was looking for other job opportunities. Maybe she wants to start a charity, or go back to school. If she decides to move to London without an engagement, there are a ton of things that she could do with her time.
  #3064  
Old 11-01-2017, 08:01 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ladongas View Post
Harry and Meghan are mature adults, well into their thirties. Yes, they could postpone getting engaged until they had lived in the same city for a few months, and postpone marriage for a few months beyond that.

But to what point? There is no guarantee that that would cause them to back out if the relationship seemed unlikely to work; nor that a few months more would guarantee a ‘happily ever after’ scenario.

I say, marry, and marry soon! Marry while your relationship is fresh, and hot, and warm!
Start your married life on a wave of passion, and passionate friendship, and passionate optimism! That’s the kind of people you are.

And let that wave propel you forward through the years ahead, the good times and the hard times. Give yourselves a reason to succeed, not an excuse to fail.

Don’t lose or waste what you have by being timid!
A true romantic! I love it!

But I suspect Meghan is trying not to get caught up and is thinking about this logically and sensibly. (Although I suspect it's hard when you have a prince wooing you! LOL!) But everything she's done so far, has been pretty planned and thought out.

The only way I could see her moving to London so she and Harry can just keep dating was if she could work. Not acting obviously, but possibly something having to do with her charity work. Then maybe she could go over on a work visa, I guess live with Harry in Nottingham Cottage, they could date and live in the same country and decide how they want to proceed from there. That is the only way her moving full time to the UK, with no engagement, would even remotely make sense to me. And even this set up would be problematic. But as long as she's "just a girlfriend", meaning not engaged or married, she's a private citizen and can do what she wants.
  #3065  
Old 11-01-2017, 08:23 PM
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"Just a girlfriend" is, to my mind, not enough for Meghan to burn all her career and financial bridges, pack up and move to the UK only to shack-up with Harry for a "marriage test drive".

Not only do I believe that the amount of time couples live together, if at all, has nothing to do with how stable their marriage will be, many like Meghan's first marriage don't survive the transition.

Harry's position is unusual in that if Meghan is just a royal girlfriend, we will not see much of her and she will not get a real idea as to the intensity of being a full-time royal. As Harry's fiancé, she will be invited to many engagements as Harry's intended wife and will thus be exposed to the goldfish bowl that is his life.
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  #3066  
Old 11-01-2017, 08:33 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MARG View Post
"Just a girlfriend" is, to my mind, not enough for Meghan to burn all her career and financial bridges, pack up and move to the UK only to shack-up with Harry for a "marriage test drive".
Which is exactly why I don't actually see that happening, nor do I think it would be advisable. Maybe if you're like just out of college/early 20's and you aren't that established/settled anyway. Then perhaps. But now? Either she moves over there with a job, or she moves over there engaged (which we know will lead to a job). But not to just be someone's girlfriend. I'm betting on engaged, but that's just me.
  #3067  
Old 11-01-2017, 08:38 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ish View Post
So then why wouldn’t she also move to the UK without a ring?

I’d add that most of that happened by January 2017, within 6 months of when they started dating.
What's she going to do in the U.K. while waiting on the ring? Who's going to provide her security? She can't work. She can't run around like a regular person. The media will start in about her cashing in on a prince for the cushy lifestyle but no work.


LaRae
  #3068  
Old 11-01-2017, 08:46 PM
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But why can't she work? There is nothing stopping a royal girlfriend from having a job, or going back to school. I don't recall any of the other royal girlfriends having security detail, so I'm not sure why Meghan would need one.
  #3069  
Old 11-01-2017, 08:51 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pranter View Post
What's she going to do in the U.K. while waiting on the ring? Who's going to provide her security? She can't work. She can't run around like a regular person. The media will start in about her cashing in on a prince for the cushy lifestyle but no work.


LaRae
That's what I was trying to get at. She's just going to be shacked up at KP? An American living off the British taxpayer, because you know that's what they would say. IF she could work that might be different, but you know the British press would be all over that too. Who gave her the job? Does she deserve it? Did she earn it? Did the BRF pull strings for her? I can see it now.

I personally wish she could work, but with the hounding the other girlfriends have gotten, I just don't see it. And as for security, she already has security and that's just with her being in Toronto. And NBC is paying for it. I would think she'd need it even more in the UK. Who's paying for that?
  #3070  
Old 11-01-2017, 09:00 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Alliec76 View Post
That's what I was trying to get at. She's just going to be shacked up at KP? An American living off the British taxpayer, because you know that's what they would say. IF she could work that might be different, but you know the British press would be all over that too. Who gave her the job? Does she deserve it? Did she earn it? Did the BRF pull strings for her? I can see it now.

I personally wish she could work, but with the hounding the other girlfriends have gotten, I just don't see it. And as for security, she already has security and that's just with her being in Toronto. And NBC is paying for it. I would think she'd need it even more in the UK. Who's paying for that?
She can work for a charity - that would be good. Be known to spend time learning about UK history, the Royal Collection, spend time learning about the country, even about the Anglican church. She could do short courses in subjects that are of interest - art, history, drama whatever.

Harry (or Charles)will have to pay for her security.
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  #3071  
Old 11-01-2017, 09:05 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cepe View Post
She can work for a charity - that would be good. Be known to spend time learning about UK history, the Royal Collection, spend time learning about the country, even about the Anglican church. She could do short courses in subjects that are of interest - art, history, drama whatever.

Harry (or Charles)will have to pay for her security.
She can do that engaged.
  #3072  
Old 11-01-2017, 09:06 PM
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I hadn't even thought of the security aspect and, to be honest, I think they all take it a little more seriously than they used to. Princess Anne's near-kidnapping has long since faded from their minds but the acts of terror put a whole new spin on things.

I should imagine that any time spent before marriage would be used to acquaint herself with the differences between how things are done in the US as opposed to how they are done in the UK. How cutlery is used just for one.
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  #3073  
Old 11-01-2017, 09:25 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by soapstar View Post
But why can't she work? There is nothing stopping a royal girlfriend from having a job, or going back to school. I don't recall any of the other royal girlfriends having security detail, so I'm not sure why Meghan would need one.
Why cant she work like other girlfriends have? Because she is a foreigner.

To work, be a student (other then just on her own from books) or even volunteer she requires a visa. That's the reality of being a foreigner living abroad. Even if she came over on a fiancé visa, it wouldn't allow her to work. For her to work or volunteer with a charity, the job or charity would need to sponsor her visa application.

If they don't plan to marry in the next six months after she arrives, she will be there as a tourist. And tourists cant be involved in any of the above. If she wants to volunteer and or work there, she needs to find a charity or a job before she arrives, and get the visa in place.

Otherwise she will basically be hold up in KP reading about British history and the Anglican church. I don't know that this would be enough to keep her fulfilled and not bored and wanting to run back, after years working and volunteering.
  #3074  
Old 11-01-2017, 09:38 PM
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Of course she needs a visa and I imagine if she decides to move to London without an engagement, she'll have gotten this all taken care of and have a visa.
  #3075  
Old 11-01-2017, 09:40 PM
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I'm pretty sure that the Prince's Trust could help her - and the British public would appreciate her doing that, rather than sit on her hands for however long. The press might growl a bit but Palace PR can sort it out. It isn't a huge issue.

Also - she could get a post at the US embassy (they might want to help out).

But I think if help is given it needs to be for a specific term and not seen to be open ended. And the Palace would need to be clear about why its happening.

All these issues have been bubbling under and also been dismissed - but reality bites and it isn't going to be easy.

Alternatively Harry could just ignore the rules and do it his way. He is known to be impetuous.
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  #3076  
Old 11-01-2017, 09:41 PM
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However, as discussed previously, she needs a good reason for a visa, such as a job lined-up for her (with an employer willing to sponsor her) OR be engaged and get married within 6 months...

I'd say the risk of getting some 'staged job' is high. Sofia did the charity route as a way to make herself palatable as a royal girlfriend, which still receives criticism as her charity suddenly got royal treatment after their marriage. A clearly 'created job' at either a royal foundation of at the US embassy also seems fraught with potential issues.

Of course, she could take that route but I truly don't see what the advantage would be over just getting engaged so no pretense and complicated constructions are necessary and they can start the life that they seem to be preparing for.
  #3077  
Old 11-01-2017, 09:48 PM
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However, as discussed previously, she needs a good reason for a visa, such as a job lined-up for her (with an employer willing to sponsor her) OR be engaged and get married within 6 months...
True, but Meghan may very well have something lined up. We just don't know because we're not privy to what's going on in their lives. We can only speculate.
  #3078  
Old 11-01-2017, 09:50 PM
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Originally Posted by cepe View Post
I'm pretty sure that the Prince's Trust could help her - and the British public would appreciate her doing that, rather than sit on her hands for however long. The press might growl a bit but Palace PR can sort it out. It isn't a huge issue.

Also - she could get a post at the US embassy (they might want to help out).

But I think if help is given it needs to be for a specific term and not seen to be open ended. And the Palace would need to be clear about why its happening.

All these issues have been bubbling under and also been dismissed - but reality bites and it isn't going to be easy.

Alternatively Harry could just ignore the rules and do it his way. He is known to be impetuous.

I don't think they are that impetuous. I am sure they will have all this sorted out before she moves over.

LaRae
  #3079  
Old 11-01-2017, 10:15 PM
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Originally Posted by Somebody View Post
However, as discussed previously, she needs a good reason for a visa, such as a job lined-up for her (with an employer willing to sponsor her) OR be engaged and get married within 6 months...

I'd say the risk of getting some 'staged job' is high. Sofia did the charity route as a way to make herself palatable as a royal girlfriend, which still receives criticism as her charity suddenly got royal treatment after their marriage. A clearly 'created job' at either a royal foundation of at the US embassy also seems fraught with potential issues.

Of course, she could take that route but I truly don't see what the advantage would be over just getting engaged so no pretense and complicated constructions are necessary and they can start the life that they seem to be preparing for.
And that would be my fear. She would face every one of the criticisms outlined. Which would be very unfortunate and unfair to her, because based on her education and her already established humanitarian work, she would be more than qualified for any of those jobs. But the press will not care. There is a certain segment that already don't care for her. Her being "set up in a job" (because no matter how it happens, that's how it will be played) will give them just the material they need. And if she went over there, sans engagement, with no job, they'd call her lazy and a gold digger, desperate, etc. I don't see the advantage. Maybe she surprises us and she goes that way, but I'd be shocked.
  #3080  
Old 11-01-2017, 11:06 PM
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I just don't see how Meghan moving to Britain as a royal girlfriend would work. There are a lot of needless complications with that scenario. Nor do I think that is Meghan and Harry's intention. If that's what they were planning I don't think Meghan would have done the VF article nor would they have been so openly affectionate at Invictus.

Of course she'd need security if she lived in London. It's not just the paparazzi, terrorist threats are real.

I also don't see how living in Britain as a girlfriend would help Meghan in deciding if she'd want a life as a Royal Duchess. Not even vaguely similar.
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