Harry and Meghan: Relationship Musings

[MaiaMia_53]

Here's an interesting article on BBC.com, discussing Meghan's life and close friendships with Toronto 'royalty,' prior to her meeting and dating Prince Harry:

Meghan Markle and her life among Toronto 'royalty' - BBC News

"... Markle seems to have 'a poise and a sweetness and a calm demeanour that should stand her in good stead to go into the [British] Royal Family.'"

"[Meghan's] connection to Canada is something Amanda Dishaw [of Meghan's Mirror blog] believes 'plays in her favour with the Royal family,' given [Canada's] status as a Commonwealth nation."

Hmmm, while this piece is generally positive toward Meghan, I must say I find intriguing the increasing attempts by the media and royal watchers to place Meghan in a sort of more 'socially acceptable' or 'relatable' framework in relation to her apparent impending engagement to Prince Harry. In other words, there seems to be a bit of disassociating Meghan from her L.A. background, her African-American heritage, and indeed even her American citizenship altogether.

The fact is that it's who Meghan is herself as a person that has captured Harry's heart, and not these ancillary circumstances such as her residing in Toronto and being descended 15 generations back to the same British ancestor as Harry's. ? Meghan is still an all-American California girl with an ethnically diverse heritage. Her background and upbringing prepared her to flourish in Toronto, where she has faced challenges, welcomed opportunities, and met amazing people whom she has also impacted and influenced, even as her own horizons were vastly broadened and the course of her life was changed. How much was fate? How much coincidence?

At any rate, Meghan Markle brings a lot to the table in her own right. While her Suits success, and her connections and friendships in Toronto certainly led to her meeting Prince Harry, once again, it is who Meghan is herself that won her those connections and friendships. She clearly has a hard work ethic, she's articulate and well-educated, she's stylish and charming, she's passionate about giving back and advocating for others, and she's apparently a fun-loving person who's not afraid to pursue all the fine and adventurous things that life can offer.

 

[Countessmeout]

Harry is never going to disappear into a black hole. People don't care about how close someone is to the throne. They are interested in people who are Exciting to watch.

Charles seems to want to focus on him and his family. That means when he is king, there will intense focus on BOTH his sons. Yes there will be his siblings still off doing work, but they will become like the Gloucesters and Kents now. Unless some huge scandal comes up, they wont make much news. Harry will not suffer that fait for many a decade to come.

The reality is until George and his siblings are done college, and full time royals, Harry and his wife are the spares. Spares in that they are the ones doing the events and getting the attention. If George is allowed to play 'country gent and dad' as long as William was, it could be almost 30 years before he becomes a full time royal.


Harry and Meghan are going to be doing a lot of work for the royals when Charles is King. And if we don't think Meghan will give Kate a run for her money in attention, just because Kate is the future queen, you only have to look back to the 80's. Fergie was hugely popular when she came on to the scene. There was a time she was more popular then Diana. They were constantly pitted against each other in media. Who dressed better? Who was friendlier? Meghan and Kate will likely be Fergie/Diana 2.0.

Nor is Meghan going to 'disappear having babies for 10 years.' That would be suggesting not only does she plan to have kids until she is 47 years old, but she is never going to be a stay at home mother. She will have a job, its called being a royal. Like Kate, she will have nannies and housekeepers. If her and Harry's main home is London, makes it even easier for her to balance the two roles. I actually think she will return from maternity leave sooner then Kate. This is a woman who has spent her entire adult life working and supporting herself. I don't see her sitting back too long.

 

[Alliec76]

The US can go into meltdown as much as it wants to for all I care but with being a royal watcher, I've seen this relationship develop and got to know a little bit about the person that has captured Harry's interest. Unfortunately, we live in a world where people are stereotyped usually by one word as if that defined the all of who a person is.

I definitely see Meghan as a person that would take her place in the scheme of things seriously and totally. I don't think she'll be the type of person that will work *for* the Firm but will mesh in and work *with* the Firm to support it in any way she can. If anyone can cross the bridge between being a celebrity into being a royal, I think Meghan would be it.

I agree with this, but Meghan can't control what people write about her, or if people find her interesting. We may understand her place in the hierarchy, but the general public doesn't really care about that. There will be interest in Meghan that may bely her actual rank, just because she is different. I'm sure it will drive some people crazy, but it won't be Meghan's fault if people, or the media are interested in her.

To me, attention grabbing means someone actively courting attention for themselves. I don't see Meghan doing that at all. She'll play her part. But it won't change the attention she will get.

Just like Meghan's "fans" will need to temper their expectations of what her role will actually be, I'm thinking people who aren't that crazy about her, are going to need to temper their expectations as well. She is probably going to be getting more attention and coverage then some may feel she warrants. She won't be fading into the background, through no fault of her own.

Edit: Countessmeout, you said what I was trying to say, just better! Not everyone is a dedicated "royal watcher", nor do they care about rank. And let's not pretend that it's just American's that feel that way.

 

[Countessmeout]

Being royal is not about having a crown and being the head of the country. They are figure heads anyways. Yes, the pageantry and tradition is important. But they also need to be seen, and seen doing work and promoting good causes. The last thing that the BRF needs is any more senior royals being classified as 'lazy' or 'work shy'. As the son of the eventual king, Harry is a senior royal, and so will his wife.

It doesn't benefit the royal family to hide Meghan to make Kate shine. By that reasoning Kate would be hiding at Amner, and Sophie and Anne would be retired off, to make sure all focus was on Camilla. Camilla is next queen consort after all. Yet we don't see that happening and we wont.

Besides any ceremonial duties they have, the main function of royals is charity work. Being at events and promoting the charities and the work. Once the older ones retire off, the Cambridges and Harry/Meghan are going to have a huge void to fill. Meghan will not have the luxury Kate did of easing into things. Kate married a part time royal, Meghan will be marrying a man who is transitioning into full time. Like Kate had to take her lead, be part time, from her husband. Meghan will be expected to do the same.

 

[Alliec76]

Being royal is not about having a crown and being the head of the country. They are figure heads anyways. Yes, the pageantry and tradition is important. But they also need to be seen, and seen doing work and promoting good causes. The last thing that the BRF needs is any more senior royals being classified as 'lazy' or 'work shy'. As the son of the eventual king, Harry is a senior royal, and so will his wife.

It doesn't benefit the royal family to hide Meghan to make Kate shine. By that reasoning Kate would be hiding at Amner, and Sophie and Anne would be retired off, to make sure all focus was on Camilla. Camilla is next queen consort after all. Yet we don't see that happening and we wont.

Besides any ceremonial duties they have, the main function of royals is charity work. Being at events and promoting the charities and the work. Once the older ones retire off, the Cambridges and Harry/Meghan are going to have a huge void to fill. Meghan will not have the luxury Kate did of easing into things. Kate married a part time royal, Meghan will be marrying a man who is transitioning into full time. Like Kate had to take her lead, be part time, from her husband. Meghan will be expected to do the same.

Well said. I just think it's a lot of wishful thinking on the part of some. They are hoping Meghan and Harry fade away. Meghan and Harry could get married and Meghan could end up doing absolutely nothing but cutting ribbons, and she'd still get written about. Fair or not, that's just how those things work. Eventually the newness factor will wear off, but that's going to take awhile.

 

[MaiaMia_53]

Definitely, Meghan & Harry will NOT be 'fading away.' I think the royals will be lucky to have Meghan Markle in their midst. On the other hand, no matter the 'noise' and OTT interest from tabloids, mainstream media, and royal followers, I believe that Prince William, Prince Harry, and their respective partners Kate & Meghan, will be working together as a unit. No matter the 'attention' that those of us outside the firm wish to place on H&M's relationship, and on Meghan's unique background, it might behoove us to remember that neither H nor M are interested in being obsessed over by the public. They will continue to guard and protect their privacy.

Similar to how Prince William is conducting his private family life, I think Prince Harry will follow suit. That's the expectation and the reality that we should get used to. As we've already seen, the more crazy, divisive and pushy the media and tabloids become, the more Prince Harry & Meghan will pull back. They may do things slightly differently and in unexpected ways, but they will also be following royal protocol and working together in concert as much as possible with William & Kate.

I believe that Kate and Meghan will be supportive allies, as they both seem to be kind-hearted young ladies who are very much in love with their royal significant others. Whatever the family relationships and tensions that exist among the royals, the Charles & Diana years seem to have taught them the wisdom of keeping any conflicts completely within the bosom of the family. H&M's personal lives will not be on display for public consumption.

It will be H&M's charities, their public duties and the causes for which they intend to advocate, that will be where Meghan and Harry will shine. As we have seen during their courtship, any attempt by the tabloid media and royal watchers to cross the line will not be tolerated. So we can admire them from afar, and perhaps take inspiration from the causes they champion and the good they will do in the world. Of course, we will see photos and family gatherings at public ceremonial events. Of course, there will be plenty of articles and ongoing media speculation and made-up stories. But it's not necessary nor worthwhile to participate in any kind of speculative OTT 'competitive' scenarios. These days, the royals face the world as a united front.

While I believe that Harry's soon-to-be position as sixth-in-line to the throne allows him a measure of freedom in some aspects of the choices he makes, he is still cognizant of his role as a British royal. And he's seemingly respectful of his heritage and of his grandmother's honored legacy and her dedication to royal traditions. In areas where they feel it's important, I think both William and Harry have shown that they are not afraid to break with some strictured and stiff-upper-lipped attitudes & traditions that don't serve any beneficial purpose in today's world.

 

[Nice Nofret]

.. Kate was young an unexperienced when she married - unexperienced at beeing playing a public role. Meghan has the experience of giving speaches, representation, red carpets, charity, meet-and-greet etc. and is much older then Kate was, when she entered royal life.

So it will be much easier for her to become a working royal and she will be surefooted very soon in that business - when and if they marry.

She is not a bad choice - just a bit old regarding the ticking clock... and yes women do have kids later on in live but not only the risks of a pregnancy are higher but the chances to have kids are lower - whatever and whereever medicine is today. And I cant see a surrogate pregnancie for an english royal - the involved risks and backdraws a just too high.

 

[Biri]

"And I cant see a surrogate pregnancie for an english royal - the involved risks and backdraws a just too high."

Or an anonymous egg donor.

 

[Denville]

This would not happen as a child would have to be their own biological child...

 

[Pranter]

Prince Harry visits Westminster Abbey Field of Remembrance | Daily Mail Online

A little discussion about Meghan between Harry and one of the attendees


LaRae

 

[Queen E]

Fame is fleeting and no one can predict how long a public figure will remain in demand. The media is so heavily saturated and the public have become so fickle that it is very rare for anyone to remain relevant for a sustained period of time nowadays. So let's not get carried away with billing Harry & Meghan as some sort of power couple who are going to set the world ablaze and save the monarchy. They've only been together for just over a year.

Personally I think that once this particular generation of royals all start hitting their 40s we will slowly start seeing media interest move on to the next generation. That is what usually happens in a youth obsessed society and it's even worse for women in the public eye who are forever judged on their looks. This makes it very doubtful that either Meghan or Kate will continue to generate front page headlines & heavy interest in 10 years time when they will be 46. Kate however will one day be Queen & mother to the future heir so she will still have that spotlight.

 

[TLLK]

Word has it that it's William and Kate's 3rd baby that is preventing Harry from proposing or marrying Meghan? Totally ridiculous! First of all this is NOT their first kid, so the WOW factor that the excitement is not there. Secondly, Harry is grown and should not have to put his life on hold for his brother or his family. And finally because of who Meghan is and her background, they or she will always overshadow them. She's fresh, new and different. -American and Half Black. Meghan is an attention grabber!! That is just a fact.

I'd be very, very wary of this type of speculation. It's there as what is typically known as "click bait." Should Harry and Meghan become engaged and decide to marry in 2018, the schedules of QEII and the Prince of Wales would take precedence over the birth of the Cambridge's third child in determining at wedding date.?

 

[Dman]

Prince Harry visits Westminster Abbey Field of Remembrance | Daily Mail Online

A little discussion about Meghan between Harry and one of the attendees


LaRae

Well, if folks want to meet his “missus” then he should take her next year.

 

[American Observer7]

I'd be very, very wary of this type of speculation. It's there as what is typically known as "click bait." Should Harry and Meghan become engaged and decide to marry in 2018, the schedules of QEII and the Prince of Wales would take precedence over the birth of the Cambridge's third child in determining at wedding date.?

I don't need to wary of anything. I am not British. And I said nothing about QEII or Prince Charles.

 

[Missjersey]

Kate and Meghan seem pretty well grounded IMO and comfortable in their own skin. The constant comparisons between them, however unfortunate, is inevitable, as it sells papers. Bringing the Diana factor also sells papers but I sincerely doubt these young women are anything like her. Again, IMO, they are just too smart and savvy to be caught up in that sort of thing.

 

[loonytick]

I'd be very, very wary of this type of speculation.Should Harry and Meghan become engaged and decide to marry in 2018, the schedules of QEII and the Prince of Wales would take precedence over the birth of the Cambridge's third child in determining at wedding date.?

I'll never understand how incensed some people get over the idea that Harry (or any other royal) can't just go full-on selfish "me me ME!" when it comes to scheduling major life events that impact a lot of other people. Shoot, if you want to still have friends and family who don't complain about you behind your back, it's not really wise to do that as a regular person, either.

As I see it, it's not really any sort of hardship for a royal couple to fit their plans into the larger schedule. The genius to the way the calendar of traditional events works is that while there are very busy periods at certain, set times there are also other times in the calendar that are left more open and available for personal or one-off events to be slotted in. They do have a choice of dates to do what they want, it's just not completely unlimited. Working with the larger schedule will always be a part of royal life; if a couple can't handle that then they don't have even the basic coping tools for life as royals.

That said, there's been talk here about limits on when Harry and Meghan could conceivably announce an engagement due to how it would fits into the royal calendar, so I decided to root around in the court circular and see how much "room" there was between past engagement announcements and other big events. Looking at their track record, I think royal watchers are more concerned than the BRF.

For instance, William and Kate's announcement was one that the press was salivating for and that was sure to be a major attention-grabbing story for the entire royal press corps. Nonetheless, it happened at a fairly busy time. It was just a couple of days after all of the Remembrance events culminated in the big wreath-laying at the Cenotaph and, more importantly, shortly before the last of QEII's multi-state, intercontinental foreign trips (to Oman and the UAE). The Queen carried out an investiture ceremony at Buckingham Palace on the same morning as William and Kate stood before the throng of cameras. In terms of important personal dates, it was two days after Prince Charles' birthday and four days before the Queen and Prince Philip's wedding anniversary.


Looking at examples like that, I realized that the announcement of an engagement is a relatively light-lift for the royal machine. Ultimately, all they need on the day is the couple in question, a open room in the palace and a notice to get the press there. The question of how much attention it will draw from other royal activities seems to be not as important to them as to us. They know that the there's one set of royal press that will never cover anything other than personal lives of the family's members whether there's an announcement or not; those folks will be running with something about the royal couple of the moment no matter what and likely don't even come into play in the calculus of when to try to get press coverage for other things. It seems from the way past announcements have been scheduled that they just try to make sure there's not a major thing on the very same day or perhaps the next.

So while weddings only happen at certain times of year, and while the BRF's track record does indicate that wedding dates are selected before engagements are announced so that the public engagement period is somewhere in the 3-6 month range, I'm not sure we can really tell much from the royal calendar about when an announcement is likely to be made.

 

[Pranter]

Well, if folks want to meet his “missus” then he should take her next year.

From your lips to God's ear!



LaRae

Kate and Meghan seem pretty well grounded IMO and comfortable in their own skin. The constant comparisons between them, however unfortunate, is inevitable, as it sells papers. Bringing the Diana factor also sells papers but I sincerely doubt these young women are anything like her. Again, IMO, they are just too smart and savvy to be caught up in that sort of thing.

Everyone has learned from the fiasco in the 80's/90's. Neither of them court the media. I expect it will remain that way.


LaRae

 

[Curryong]

I agree re the announcement timing, Loonytick. Meghan is slightly different though, as she has to at least be in the country when the announcement is made! I'm really hoping for the end of November after the Queen Prince Philip anniversary.

By the way, the Fail photos are brilliant, as usual. We may very well see Meghan at a Remembrance event next year, with some great photos of her.

 

[loonytick]

I agree re the announcement timing, Loonytick. Meghan is slightly different though, as she has to at least be in the country when the announcement is made! I'm really hoping for the end of November after the Queen Prince Philip anniversary.

By the way, the Fail photos are brilliant, as usual. We may very well see Meghan at a Remembrance event next year, with some great photos of her.

Yes, the individual calendars of Harry and Meghan are of course very important to work around. I'm just saying we don't need to think what the Queen, Charles, the Wessexes or Will and Kate (etc.) have scheduled tells us all that much about when Harry and Meghan might show up to flash a ring and answer a few questions about how he popped the question.

 

[Dman]

From your lips to God's ear!



LaRae

Lol, just saying some people want to meet his missus. He could bring her along next year. It would be nice and she would likely receive a bouquet of flowers in the end. Just saying...

 

[Pranter]

Lol, just saying some people want to meet his missus. He could bring her along next year. It would be nice and she would likely receive a bouquet of flowers in the end. Just saying...

Interesting the (protective) response he had to the comment. If she's going to join the BRF there won't be much option to hide.


LaRae

 

[Dman]

Interesting the (protective) response he had to the comment. If she's going to join the BRF there won't be much option to hide.


LaRae

Yeah, one thing I notice with Harry, and even William, they are very protective of their women.

I’m sure Harry appreciated that someone acknowledged Meghan at this event.

 

[loonytick]

Interesting the (protective) response he had to the comment. If she's going to join the BRF there won't be much option to hide.


LaRae

I think that's because the first question was a joking "where is she today" kind of thing...and as she's not a royal spouse at the moment she'd have to be in the shadows were she there.

That said, it does make you wonder if there have been more events than we know through the years with royal girlfriends/boyfriends quietly hanging out in the wings, unnoticed.

 

[jacqui24]

I don’t know if royal spouses typically attend a event like this if they don’t have military associations themselves? I know last year Duke of Edinburgh attended as well as Harry, but Meghan is unlikely to have military associations even if they marry in the next year.

 

[Dman]

I think that's because the first question was a joking "where is she today" kind of thing...and as she's not a royal spouse at the moment she'd have to be in the shadows were she there.

That said, it does make you wonder if there have been more events than we know through the years with royal girlfriends/boyfriends quietly hanging out in the wings, unnoticed.

Yes; Sophie, Mike Tindall and even Beatrice and Eugenie’s boyfriends. Sophie (as a royal girlfriend) was turning up to events in the 90’s when one would never expected it. She was like an official member of the royal family before she was a family member.

Every once in a while Mike would turn up places with Zara and the family.

Beatrice and Eugenie’s boyfriends are or once known to show up to family gatherings at the races or flower shows.

I just think Harry and William are far more protective of their privacy. Especially with the things their parents went through back in the day. Also, they like sticking to protocol more.

 

[Pranter]

Yeah, one thing I notice with Harry, and even William, they are very protective of their women.

I’m sure Harry appreciated that someone acknowledged Meghan at this event.

It's a double edged sword you know....I'm sure he's very proud of her and it must tickle him that someone mentions her in a warm way ...but that the same time he must be apprehensive about it too.

William has made no bones about the privacy issue. We've seen that play out. Harry is clearly going to take a very similar position and you can't blame either of them. I cheer them on about it.



LaRae

 

[MARG]

So many posters have mentioned others as billing Harry and Meghan as the next BIG thing. Not so I think. For myself, I was intrigued by Meghan and as another poster said, did my research reading articles and watching videos about her and her life.

What I found was (to me) someone who is comfortable in her own skin and, it didn't just happen, she worked for it, to understand there are more than two colours in the world and she is living proof. She did what her dad told her and drew her own box, and now, all these years later, we see the result.

We see a woman who has worked for everything she has. Nobody gave her her degree . . . she worked for it, the same goes for her career. If you don't work for it, study your lines, work with your fellow cast members, spend time promoting your show, you become a dead weight and get written out. I found the fact that the cast and crew of her show didn't brag on about Harry visiting on set or that Harry was even in town, as a mark of their regard for Meghan as a person.

I am impressed with a young woman who has worked hard for what she has and, having gotten it, has not forgotten to give back. Today that is far rarer a gift than mere talent. I will admit that I admire Meghan for her own sake and that she and Harry have fallen in love is wonderful for both of them. I liked the way she spoke of her love in the VF interview. She unashamedly admitted that she was in love and she loves a love story. Are we all too jaded to admit that we love one too?

Harry has always been a favourite of mine, second sons always seem to have trouble finding their way. There is no particular reason other than they are who they are. We have watched him grow and mature and come to the sad conclusion that he may never find someone that was willing to take on him and all the royal baggage. Yet seeing fuzzy pictures of him with Meghan lifts the heart and I love that he seems so very 'Princess Victoria' with Meghan and find myself hoping that they both have their "Love Story".

 

[Dman]

It's a double edged sword you know....I'm sure he's very proud of her and it must tickle him that someone mentions her in a warm way ...but that the same time he must be apprehensive about it too.

William has made no bones about the privacy issue. We've seen that play out. Harry is clearly going to take a very similar position and you can't blame either of them. I cheer them on about it.

LaRae

Privacy is important to him and William. I cheer them on about it too.

Although, he will be more relaxed once he and Meghan make that big decision. I know it was a burden off of William and Catherine’s shoulders once they became officially engaged and was able to go about their life in a more public way. Not trying to dodge everything.

 

[Pranter]

I think so too Dman...right now everything is very much heightened since nothing has been announced. After that folks know how it's going to work and what comes next etc.


LaRae

 

[loonytick]

We are very much stuck in a spot of having little to chat about other than predicting dates for next steps, since most of what can be known about Meghan without her assistance seems to have been uncovered already. But how about this for a little variation in the speculation game:

If/when these two do announce an engagement they'll likely have a press conference and/or official interview. We know the reporters will probably ask how he proposed, because they always do. What else would you hope is asked and answered on that day?