Harry and Meghan: Relationship Musings

[Dman]

One program titled "William and Kate: A Royal Love Story" was broadcast on Dateline NBC on November 17, 2010--the day after the engagement announcement. I'm sure it was already mostly put together, just waiting for an official announcement--like how newspaper and TV news have obituaries put together ready to use.

Right, but there were other programs focused on William and Catherine’s relationship before their engagement. Some of the programs were redone again to accommodate the official engagement.

What we’re seeing with docs dedicated to Harry and Meghan was also done with the Cambridge’s. I’m sure there are docs being put together and on hold in case an engagement is announced.

 

[Zonk]

I remember purchasing book about the Kate and William relationship/romance before the engagement was announced or right as the engagement was announced. I can't remember which.

Yes, I am a sucker for books on royalty!


It wouldn't surprise me in the least if they were working on any books/tv programmes regarding this relationship. If and when it becomes official (i.e. engagement) it will be on the screens/book shelves very quickly.


People ask why would do they do this? Because there is an interest. Thats why the newspapers print the most inane articles...guessing and repeating the same thing over and over. People are interested. Not everyone but just enough to keep clicking.


You only have to look here...how many people have joined TRF because of this relationship? It was the same thing with William and Catherine. It was the same with Victoria and Daniel, etc.

 

[Alliec76]

I think one of the differences here is Meghan, because of her acting career, is technically a "public" figure. And then there is Harry's public affirmation of the relationship.

I think it because of Meghan's already existing public presence. There are at least 7 years worth of interviews, etc, pretty much since she's been on Suits to pull from. She's made speeches on social issues,etc in conjunction with her charity work. There's just more material to pull from with Meghan. Chelsy and Cressida did not have a public profile. There just wouldn't have been much to talk about. All that said, none of these documentaries seem to be breaking any new ground. They are just piecing together things you can already find on line, and talking to people she's not that close to.

Edit to Add: There is also interest because she is American and because of her background. When something is "new" it tends to pique some people's interest.

 

[lady of hay]

This might be a tad off topic, but , here are some thoughts from a dinner party I was at last night. I must point out that we were a mixed age range , from mid 30's to late 60's. I can't remember how the subject came up, I think someone must have seen the trailer for Mondays programme.
Many people thought that all this media hype could have one of two effects, either
1: the couple go off "quietly" and get married , then announce it to the world,
or
2: the hype will kill the relationship altogether.

With regards to a wedding, many of the younger people thought that this should be low key, given that Megan has been married before.
One person said "they should pay for this themselves, is right that the Royal Family spend a fortune on a wedding when some people cannot heat their homes or feed their children"

 

[MARG]

Royal weddings are a free gift to politicians. All sorts of overseas people are there ostensibly for said wedding, but can also be diplomatic value. It's a sad fact that big royal occasions are often far larger than the BRF would prefer, but the government and foreign office often see it as mana from heaven. It's payback, greasing the wheels, flattering and all without effort.

As to the wedding being small because she has been married before, Harry hasn't and it is a perfect vehicle to introduce his wife to his countrymen. It will be smaller than William's but on the other hand, after eight years everyone knew all about Catherine.

 

[wyevale]

people thought that this should be low key, given that Megan has been married before.

I'm inclined to agree with this sentiment...

 

[Pranter]

They could surprise most everyone and do something very low key.

I tend to think maybe not though, considering the economic boost of having folks go to London to see a Royal Wedding and the very positive ratings that would come with it.


LaRae

 

[O-H Anglophile]

Royal weddings are a free gift to politicians. All sorts of overseas people are there ostensibly for said wedding, but can also be diplomatic value. It's a sad fact that big royal occasions are often far larger than the BRF would prefer, but the government and foreign office often see it as mana from heaven. It's payback, greasing the wheels, flattering and all without effort.

As to the wedding being small because she has been married before, Harry hasn't and it is a perfect vehicle to introduce his wife to his countrymen. It will be smaller than William's but on the other hand, after eight years everyone knew all about Catherine.

I agree with Marg-the wedding would be Harry's too. And I thought that having to have small 2nd weddings were a thing of the past-leftover from when divorce was shameful.
Even his father's second wedding was an event. People like weddings.

 

[O-H Anglophile]

Many people thought that all this media hype could have one of two effects, either
1: the couple go off "quietly" and get married , then announce it to the world,
or
2: the hype will kill the relationship altogether.

One person said "they should pay for this themselves, is right that the Royal Family spend a fortune on a wedding when some people cannot heat their homes or feed their children"

Harry and Meghan seem to be pretty good at ignoring outside noise and just doing what they want. I doubt this hubbub will affect any of their personal decisions.

I'm sorry but dictating that someone spending their own money cannot spend it on a wedding because someone else is poor is ridiculous.

 

[Osipi]

I'm sorry but dictating that someone spending their own money cannot spend it on a wedding because someone else is poor is ridiculous.

Kind of reminds me of growing up and having my mother tell me to eat all my vegetables and think of the starving children in China. Never could figure out how that last brussel sprout on my plate could help them out.

In the long run, whatever kind of a wedding Harry and Meghan would want, the public and the media will have no bearing on it whatsoever. That's the way it should be. If, in any way, shape or form, that we the public are invited to share in it in any way, that's a gift and we should be thankful for it.

Harry may be a senior royal and work for the "Firm" that deems him to be public property more or less but he's still as human as the rest of us and not a puppet on a string.

 

[Mirabel]

I think the wedding will not be something that is low-key, for two reasons.

1. There will be plenty of people who will say that a low-key wedding means the RF is not truly happy to have Meghan become part of the Firm.

2. It will be the last major royal wedding for two decades.

As a previous poster mentioned, there is a lot more involved than the wishes of the two people most concerned.
It's an opportunity for political wheeling and dealing, as well as payback for charity workers and political donors, etc.

Something quiet and low-key simply won't cut it.

 

[Cocoasneeze]

I agree, this definitely won't be a low key wedding, it'll be used as a pr tool, and it'll be good publicity for UK.

I think, that Meghan especially is very good at muting the outside noise. She has actually received death threats before over her character's actions on Suits, I think she's well prepared to ignore and turn off the irrelevant tabloid chatter.

 

[Alisa]

Hooray for November! Hoping for some lovely news this month.

 

[lady of hay]

Harry and Meghan seem to be pretty good at ignoring outside noise and just doing what they want. I doubt this hubbub will affect any of their personal decisions.

I'm sorry but dictating that someone spending their own money cannot spend it on a wedding because someone else is poor is ridiculous.

The comments were there to illustrate what some people, not always royalists , are thinking. Personally I like a royal wedding, big small whatever. The opinions voiced were not mine.

 

[Curryong]

Hooray for November! Hoping for some lovely news this month.

Me too, Alisa! October was good for Harry and Meghan watchers but hopefully this month will be better still!

 

[loonytick]

I suspect that when one half of the couple is a major member of the BRF, the primary way in which you get to make your wedding your own is in shaping the party that happens after you and your core guest list are safely out of sight of press cameras. But hey, at least that can be a pretty significant chunk of the overall wedding to-do for them. The Scandinavian royals tend to televise a significant part of the party, too.

Which may be why the Swedes just went ahead and let Sofia and Carl Philip have plenty of room to make their ceremony their own. Go back and listen to the truly cringe-inducing musical performances at that wedding for an example of why Harry and his bride will be kept within certain boundaries whenever their day comes. That wedding was fine for the Swedes, who have a much more casual approach to monarchy, but it would be completely "off-brand" for the House of Windsor.

And that's the thing: an engagement and a wedding for a royal, especially in the BRF, is part personal and part work. Always, always, always. There are portions that get to be theirs and theirs alone, but part of it will always be about reinforcing the image/tradition/reptuation/however-you-want-to-word-it of the institution that is intertwined throughout a royal's life from birth through their last breath.

To bring this back around to one of the main points of this thread, we're all sitting around waiting for an announcement that feels inevitable to many of us at this point. But I can totally see why Harry and Meghan might be trying to push it off a little longer if possible. They're potentially in the last stage of their relationship that gets to be 95% their own. As soon as they announce, their relationship and their job become completely enmeshed. They've got to be ready, really ready, for that change before they invite us in with a formal announcement and a visible ring on her finger.

 

[Abbigail]

Harry and Meghan seem to be pretty good at ignoring outside noise and just doing what they want. I doubt this hubbub will affect any of their personal decisions.

Agreed. I think if either felt any pressure from outside parties, they wouldn't have decided to be so public at Invictus. Surely they knew that appearance together would only increase all the wedding/marriage speculation. But obviously, it wasn't a concern, likely because they are both confident within their relationship and ultimately know where it's headed.

Hooray for November! Hoping for some lovely news this month.

I'm thinking we'll have to wait at least another 4-6 weeks for *that* bit of lovely news but of course I'm open to being pleasantly surprised.

 

[Zonk]

I have two opinions regarding a Harry and Meghan engagement:

1) They will not get in engaged until late 2018 or early 2019. I think if its true and Meghan will no longer work on Suits, I think she moves to England to date. While its a challenge to date long distance, it something else to see that person every day. Are they ready for that? A move (a la Mary and Maxima) a couple of months prior to an engagement.

2) If they do get engaged, it will be in early 2018 after the Christmas holidays.

 

[Abbigail]

The question is, does a late 2018/early 2019 engagement really work for Meghan..is that really in her best interest? I've seen others say they need to date more or live together beforehand and while I think that's a valid POV, I don't see it as a necessary and that would be asking a lot of Meghan. She would essentially be giving up everything to move to another country. Add to that, all the restrictions she would have to deal with as a mere girlfriend and it becomes clear that she would be doing all the sacrificing for the next year or so, which ironically could put a strain on their relationship.

From my perspective, if you're in love and committed to one another, then any doubts should not be such an issue that one person should be asked or expected to do all sacrificing just to see if the relationship is lasting. I know if I were in Meghan's shoes, I would want some assurances before making such huge sacrifices and yes, that includes a ring.

 

[Ish]

I have two opinions regarding a Harry and Meghan engagement:

1) They will not get in engaged until late 2018 or early 2019. I think if its true and Meghan will no longer work on Suits, I think she moves to England to date. While its a challenge to date long distance, it something else to see that person every day. Are they ready for that? A move (a la Mary and Maxima) a couple of months prior to an engagement.

2) If they do get engaged, it will be in early 2018 after the Christmas holidays.

I tend to think we’ll not get an engagement announcement until Spring 2018. Filming of Suits may wrap this month, but the rest of the season won’t air until 2018 - typically the second half of a season of Suits starts the end of January and runs until the start of March. I can see it not entirely being in the benefit of Meghan or the show for an engagement to be announced before the finale; for Meghan, it would mean that she’s the royal fiancée while still being portrayed on screen as the love interest of another man (no way the papers won’t use that against her and Harry), and for Suits it would be a spoiler that her character is being written off.

The timeline I more see is she’ll move to the UK once filming wraps (perhaps slowly because of the holidays that are coming up, but be a full resident by New Years), then mid-March the engagement is announced, with a wedding taking place before end of year.

 

[Alliec76]

The question is, does a late 2018/early 2019 engagement really work for Meghan..is that really in her best interest? I've seen others say they need to date more or live together beforehand and while I think that's a valid POV, I don't see it as a necessary and that would be asking a lot of Meghan. She would essentially be giving up everything to move to another country. Add to that, all the restrictions she would have to deal with as a mere girlfriend and it becomes clear that she would be doing all the sacrificing for the next year or so, which ironically could put a strain on their relationship.

From my perspective, if you're in love and committed to one another, then any doubts should not be such an issue that one person should be asked or expected to do all sacrificing just to see if the relationship is lasting. I know if I were in Meghan's shoes, I would want some assurances before making such huge sacrifices and yes, that includes a ring.

I have to agree with you. I absolutely don't think that would be in her best interest. She would have all the restrictions of royal life with none of the perks or security. What would she be doing for a year? She wouldn't be able to work. So she's just supposed to sit around twiddling her thumbs waiting for Harry? She wouldn't be able to do anything royal related. At least if she were engaged and then married, she would be going right into her role/work as a member of the royal family. That makes sense. But to just give up everything you have and have worked for, your whole life, for a "maybe"? Who will be paying her living expenses if she's giving up her income? Yes, I'm sure she is comfortable financially, but actors also have to pay out a lot of money as well. That is Meghan doing all the sacrificing for the relationship with no guarantees. Meghan is already going to have to give up a lot to be married to Harry. That's just the way it is. No way around it. Everybody knows that. She knows that. I don't think it is wrong to expect some sort of major commitment before doing so. In any event I really hope that, that is not the case.

 

[Pranter]

No way a strong independent woman is going to quit her job and move her whole life thousands of miles away without a firm commitment.

I still believe she will have a ring before she packs up and moves.


LaRae

 

[Somebody]

And regarding the comparison with Máxima. She moved before the engagement but was able to arrange a transfer with the same employer to Brussels, Belgium (so close to but not in the Netherlands). Only after the engagement was officially announced she quit her job and moved to the Netherlands (moved in with her future mother-in-law).

I don't see Meghan being able to do something similar...

 

[Alliec76]

No way a strong independent woman is going to quit her job and move her whole life thousands of miles away without a firm commitment.

I still believe she will have a ring before she packs up and moves.


LaRae

I mean it sounds crazy to me. If that were my daughter or my friend, I would be like, "You're going to do what?!" I guess I see now, why royal men seem to marry the type of women they do. It's just easier if you're dealing with someone who doesn't have any other obligations or responsibilities besides dating you. But that type of girl has never really seemed to appeal to Harry.

Anyway Meghan, girl, if you read this, don't do it! LOL! (Joking!) I mean I love Harry, but I would never counsel a friend of mine to do something like that. Prince or not.

 

[Cocoasneeze]

I'm agreeing with those saying, that Meghan wouldn't be moving to UK only to date Harry. She'd be giving up her career, livelihood, privacy etc just to be someone's girlfriend. She wouldn't be able to work, just because she'd be stalked by the paparazzi, she wouldn't have any of the rights or benefits of a royal fiancé or wife, but would have all the rules and restrictions of one. And call me crazy, but I don't think Harry would expect Meghan to move to UK just to date him either. What I've seen from him in this relationship, IMHO he's more than willing to put on his half of the effort and work to make this work and to meet Meghan half way. He's very aware of the restrictions dating him causes, he wouldn't want Meghan to do all that foot work alone.

 

[Alliec76]

And call me crazy, but I don't think Harry would expect Meghan to move to UK just to date him.

This part here. Harry wouldn't ask that of her. If that was the type of woman he was looking for (someone with no obligations or responsibilities), that's who he'd be with.

As for any engagement wedding timeline, I'm still really not seeing November. I just think there's too much happening. There is no guarantee that taping won't go over on Suits. I don't know. My gut is just not saying November. I could see December, or I could see early next year.

I hadn't thought about the fact that the second half of the Suits season doesn't air until January and won't end until March. Usually an actor is contracted to promote and do publicity for the show. So while taping, etc is done in November, it's understood that their obligation to the show still extends to the actual finish of the show. Now Meghan has already basically stopped doing any press, which is actually kind of the show to allow, because I guarantee it is in her contract. But I don't see her not being expected to do some sort of publicity or something for the new episodes, since she's in them. That would be weird, and unfair to her cast mates and people would notice and talk about it. It might just be print media so it's more controlled, but she's going to be obligated to do something.

Anyway I guess what I'm saying is, Meghan and Harry might not want to announce anything until her commitment to the show is well and truly done. I might be simpler that way. A clean transition from one life to another. (I actually think it's silly that they have to jump through all these hoops, simply because some in the press and public can't seem to differentiate between acting and real life and that sometimes women have jobs that put them in the public eye, where GASP! they talk to the media, but here we are.)

 

[Ish]

No way a strong independent woman is going to quit her job and move her whole life thousands of miles away without a firm commitment.

I still believe she will have a ring before she packs up and moves.


LaRae

I disagree.

I think a strong, independent woman is fully capable of realizing that a relationship is a committed one without having a piece of jewellery on her finger.

I think a committed couple is very capable of having conversations about where the relationship is headed and agree that marriage is in the future without having a formal engagement.

I also think that a person who has been divorced once and is the child of divorced parents may see the benefit in having spent time living in the same country as their significant other before a formal engagement.

Meghan has already drastically altered her life without an engagement. She’s altered much of her public persona, she’s not promoted the show that she’s working on, she’s not pursuing other acting roles, she’s given up a clothing line, and she’s closed a lucrative website. All without a ring on her finger. To assume that she wouldn’t also leave Suits and move to the UK without a ring simply because she’s a strong independent woman is illogical.

 

[Pranter]

Yes she's done all that because they have an understanding and she knows the ring is coming.


LaRae

 

[Ish]

So then why wouldn’t she also move to the UK without a ring?

I’d add that most of that happened by January 2017, within 6 months of when they started dating.

 

[Alliec76]

So then why wouldn’t she also move to the UK without a ring?

I’d add that most of that happened by January 2017, within 6 months of when they started dating.

Because she still had her own home, her main job, her charity work and the ability to continue moving around (with her own security). She moves to the UK, she won't be able to do any of that. What is she supposed to do with her time? She can't work (which she can now), she'd be paying for her own security if she had it. NBC is paying for it now. All the restrictions and headache of royal life, none of the perks and security. If she is engaged that is at least working towards something. Just dating? It's just seems like a bad idea to me. But that's just my view on it. What matters is how they see it.