Commitment is great. A prerequisite for wholehearted commitment is knowing you're heading down the right path. Are you supposed to know exactly what you want to do with your life when you're 19 and carrying the weight of your family's expectations on your shoulders? No. Luckily today's society largely allows for young people to have a couple of second chances – perhaps because it would be absolutely headless to let a teenage brain make permanent, life-altering decisions.
Most people also can't commit themselves wholeheartedly to something that isn't
their wish to begin with. In my opinion, everything about Nikolai's choice to serve points towards it being a decision his family's hopes and expectations forced him into making. Now, in a situation like that, gritting your teeth and carrying on can be a good learning curve for some. For others, it can break you down. Personally, I think it shows a great strength of character in Nikolai that he has the stamina to drop out, knowing his decision will be dissected publicly to no end. Not only is that great character strength, it also shows that he's in tune with himself. And even if forcing yourself through something you don't have your heart in doesn't break you down emotionally, why waste two years of your life on an education you don't intend to use? That seems like a waste of time for everyone involved. And as someone who hasn't served in the military, I can assure you that personal development such as the one you experienced in the military isn't exclusive for military people
Can I ask you, Muhler – will you be equally disappointed in Isabella, Josephine and Athena if they don't pursue a military education?
Your are always worth a read, even if I don't always agree. ?
Well, two things.
We who live in an age where you can choose your career, where many options are open to you, in your late teens, we are the odd ones.
Throughout history most 19 year old men were full adults, Many if no most, being providers, many being parents. For girls, well, they were fresh out of puberty when they became adults - with all that entailed.
At age 14 or so it was out earning a living, on their own. And that was pretty much regardless of their class.
They did not have the luxury of trying things and opting out. They had to grit their teeth and keep going, even if they hated it. There was little choice.
And that's how it is for I don't know how many 19 year olds even today!
So yes, a 19 year old
can commit himself.
I don't quite subscribe to the point that you are not fully prepared to commit yourself at 19. You are inexperienced, yes. You are uncertain about many things, oh yes. You have dreams, absolutely!
As you know, some scholars question whether there really is such a thing as being a teenager.
To stay in a military context. Many of those who are send to places like Afghanistan or who fought in WWII were 18. They were adults by age 19.
I think there is a tendency to underestimate teenagers. When challenged teenagers are a lot tougher and a lot more willing to fully commit themselves if they really want to. Certainly they can deal with a lot more than we parents think they can.
Nikolai had the option of staying put until he became NCO after six months, then he could have decided that the military isn't for him. And being a leader isn't what he is. That would have been half a victory.
Instead he opted for the quick and easy way out and that's why I'm a little disappointed with him.
Secondly, I don't believe in any education being a waste of time. Not if you try to learn. You never know when it might suddenly become useful. But showing that you have completed something, that you have committed yourself, even if you will never work in that field again, that pays off the day you are looking for a job.
Isabella, Josephine and Athena? - And Felix, Vincent and Henrik? No, I will not be disappointed if they don't sign up. But I will be disappointed if they sign up and quit shortly after. It's one thing to be shipped home if you are unfit or injured, it's another matter to quit.
I mean, at 19 you can become a mother or a father! What are you going to do then? Sorry, parenting isn't my field, it's not what I would like to pursue, at least not right now. - Eh, where can I return this little critter here?
At age 19 you are an adult, and if you wish to be regarded as an adult and be treated as an adult,
be an adult!
Do you think I'm hard? Harsh? Do you feel sorry for my children?
Well, my own son did not sign up for volunteer conscription and he drew a high number at the draft board, so he didn't get drafted either. Did that disappoint me? Not at all. He is not the military type. He did of course know about my background and have asked questions, but he has never showed any interest in the military, so that's fine with me.
He has however started a higher education and I fully expect him to complete it. In return he will get every possible support from me. I'll be there to beam with pride when he is doing well and I'll knock him on the head if he is slacking. And if he needs a shoulder to cry on he'll get that too. I will do everything I can for him to win the victory that it is to complete what he has started.
As for my daughter. She can't sign up for physical reasons, but her determination is not in doubt! Anyway, she's daddy's girl, so she can't do anything wrong.
In fact I plan to dress her in a burka, because no pimpled dude can ever be good enough for my little girl! I, her morfar and brother heartily agree on that.
She should get a good education, a well-paid job and a good career, with a couple inseminated children from well-selected donors in-between. If she feels an urge to love someone, who will love her unconditionally in return, be forever faithful and genuinely treasure her, I'll buy her a Golden Retriever. ?
I'm happy that powering through service even if you didn't dig it at first worked out for you. Doesn't mean that approach works out for everyone and I think it's bordering on dangerous to assume it does. Or, I think it does a lot more damage than it does good. And then I'm generally not a fan of parents (or anyone else for that matter – stop living through others) imposing their own ideals and life expectations on their children. That's never good for anyone. That's something I know from experience ?
I wonder if Nikolai will turn modelling into a full-time career and continue on with it until he figures out what he wants to do in the terms of studies.
