The Nanny Issue for Mary

[biboquinhas]

Nannies should be someone who help us raise our children when we are not around, but how many of us have nannies?? I work from 9 to 17:30 and my son is at the kindegarten that time, when I finish I go there to pick him up. For example Mary is at home unitl her next event. Does she needs nannys during this time she is at home? Does she need nannys during holidays? I don't think so...Of course she doesn't have a 9:00 to 17:00 job, that's true however I think she spends more time at home than most of us and a simple made could do the job of 4 nannys (2 full time and 2 part-time nannys), I just think 4 nannys is a bit over the normal

[UserDane]

Biboquinhas, how do you arrive at 4 nannies now

And again, do you know it is not Frederik who hired these nannies ?

[Empress]

And further more, at risk of repeating myself, do you think that she just shows up at these events straight from the shower completely unprepared. It does take time to learn about the cause/event/background/people that one will be dealing with.

Just in case you are not aware, please realize that everything that these royals do takes some preparation, and that all happens behind closed doors. Those of us that follow the Dutch royals were lucky enough to have a behind the scenes video made for the general public about what goes into preparing for these events with W-A and Maxima.

It's not as if they can just show up. So I would imagine that although we can not see it, these people are working hard as well making sure that they are prepared.

No, it is not a typical 9-5 job. But guess what, those of us who have 9-5 jobs generally do not have to go around the world to other countries as the face of our business, do not have to attend MANY late night functions, etc. And it is not as if you could just throw these children into any day care. So you can't really compare your situation to theirs. You have privacy, and they really do not. What's more, you and your children aren't the subject of hysterical people wanting to have every scrap of information that they can possibly glean.

And if they have multiple nannies, perhaps it is because they can, and perhpas it is because the typical European work week is not 40 hours. So they need to have people available add odd times and odd hours, but yet give these people a scheduled couple of days off, where they are not on call. So perhaps they are being nice to their nannies, and making it easy for them to earn a living while still having a reasonable amount of time off. I would imagine that being a nanny for such a high profile family is filled with its ups and downs.

Oh by the way, I spent 7 years as a nanny in Europe, and most people don't use their nannies as subsitute parents. And nannying is a good thing if you can afford it. It offers developing children one on one attention which does not really happen in a crowded creche/daycare.

[Duke of Marmalade]

As hard as I try I don't get what this thread is about. Mary made a statement some years ago that was misquoted. She has three nannies, I think that's the number people agree on, because somebody must look after their children when she or Frederick are at work (incl preparation). Of course they will need more nannies than one as there are two children to look after and events may take place between early morning and late night. I doubt Mary will interrupt a late dinner because she has to change a nappy. Where is the problem? I guess this is just the usual situation in a CP household with small children and it's not just nannies but drivers, cooks, keepers etc. Staff will allow Fred & Mary or the other CP couples to spend quality time with the children when they come home from work and none of them will waist a second with doing some unpleasant housework.

[biboquinhas]

Originally Posted by Empress

h by the way, I spent 7 years as a nanny in Europe, and most people don't use their nannies as subsitute parents. And nannying is a good thing if you can afford it. It offers developing children one on one attention which does not really happen in a crowded creche/daycare.

Of course nanies don't substitute parents, but if you can afford it it is more improtant that children attend a creche than to stay at home with nannies (in my opinion of course), you have qualified people to take care of you son (teachers), you have a plan of work to make during the year, the children can interact everyday with other children, every part of the children is estimulated and children can grow up having in mind that they need to share things, that other chidren do live in the same world has they live so they have to know how to handle that!
But of course Mary has Christian in the day car so I'am not critisizing I'am just giving my opinion on nannies, to me it is not a bad thing but people who use nannies to raise their children that I cannot agree!

[Empress]

Well, I beg to differ. Nannies can provide everything that a creche can, and more. Nannies offer one on one attention, which is very important to developing children. At age 1.5/2 years, then a child should be introduced to a creche/day care for a few days a week for the social interaction. However, they should also have play dates with the nanny, and other children, which during the first 1.5/2 years provides enough social stimulation. As you can see, that is what they have done with Christian.

Please explain where you find the benefit in putting an infant in day care? As a general rule the ratio of teacher - children before age 5 is 1:4 or 1:5. At that ratio, an infant generally spends most of the time in a crib, or on a blanket in the play room with very little interaction. I think that the one on one that a nanny provides is far superior to a developing child.

A qualified nanny has generally very similar qualifications or more than a day care provider. They have training in early childhood development, childhood nutrition, and a myriad of other things that qualifies them just as much if not more than a creche teacher who often is just someone straight out of college with little to no practical experience.

I am sorry, but I do not see the benefit of day care over creche for young children. Social skills, sharing, and the like can all be taught at home and with play dates just as well.

Have you had any experience with nannies? If not, please don't generalize them. Nannies are a best case scenario for people who want to do the best for their children, and either can not afford to stay home full time, realize that they are a better parent with the interaction that they get from the workplace, and want to make sure that they give their children as much one on one time as they can, which an informed parent knows will not happen in a day care. If a parent stayed at home, the child would receive that one on one. So I do not understand where you feel that it is okay for a child to stay at home with a parent, but when that parent makes a reasoned and fair decision to bring someone in to give the child the personal time that it is wrong. I am not criticizing anyone for putting their children in day care. Day care is most often far cheaper than having a nanny in the house. And I agree that day care is a good option for a few days a week after age 1 or 2.

[Elspeth]

Since Mary and Frederik both have to work in the evenings sometimes as well as during the day, day care wouldn't provide a complete solution to their child care needs. It seems to me to be better for them to have trained nannies to look after the children than untrained au pairs or babysitters, considering that they have unavoidable duties during the day and the evening, to say nothing of having to travel because of their positions. I don't think anyone is saying that day care isn't appropriate, but it doesn't fill the whole requirement.

[Myriam]

If I was a mother and... if I was a busy woman like Mary is, I would find a nanny for my children. I would prefer them to stay with a well prepared lady who could give them care and tenderness. A nanny is also good to your children because they learn how to show affection and trust to another one than parents or close family. I believe most day centers don't give enough individual attention to children like a nanny does.

[Aotearoagal]

Originally Posted by UserDane

Thanks a lot Charlotte1
Wonder if the nannies also have other functions in the household though, since for example Christian also attends nursery school.

Hi UserDane - hmm, I don't think they would be happy to do 'other duties' - being a nanny is a profession, and they're not au pairs!

I do wonder, since that's the case, now you mention it, that now that Christian is in nursery school and they only seem to have a duty every few days, and not always together, whether they wouldn't prefer to reduce the nannying a little and live a more normal life looking after the kids ...

Aotearoagal

[agnessa]

I think that nannies are just part of royal life and when Fr&M could effort some nannies then why not! I know that Mary's father and stepmother are doing full time job and I think Fr parents don't have many free time to ride to Fredensborg and look after their grandchildren. Ofcourse Mary's have much free time and then she is with her children but there are royal events where Mary must go and then is nannies needed. So I think that nannies are necessary for royal people and there are nothing wrong,

[Charlotte1]

Originally Posted by UserDane

Thanks a lot Charlotte1
Now you mention it, I do remember having heard somewhere that Felix's former nanny would be looking after F&M's children. Wonder if the nannies also have other functions in the household though, since for example Christian also attends nursery school.

I think when it was first announced that Christian would be attending Nursery School it stated that he was going for a few hours a day and not every day. Mette Hansen's working hours probably reflect that, especially since there's been no announcement of another part-time nanny to cover for when Isabella's nanny is not working. There's one part-time nanny to cover for 2 fulltime nannies so Christian's nanny's 37hours(I believe that the Danish standard for a working week) would be hours around his time at Nursery School. Professional nannies don't do other household functions, that's the difference again between an au pair and a nanny. Au pairs do household chores, nannies don't.

[Little_star]

Correct me if I'm wrong but Mary has had no more than 5 events this month, 2 of which were sporting events (tennis and swimming) so in all liklihood require very little preparation. The helicopter launch did not seem like the most taxing of events either.

With all due respect, Mary seems to have plenty of free time and I find the "behind the scenes" argument to be quite weak in this instance. These were not major conferences or foreign trips where speeches needed to be prepared or briefings needed to take place. Yes, she attended the mental health event, but IMRIC she made no speech and just sat in the audience like everybody else.

I honestly cannot see why Mary would need 3 nannies considering how very "light" her scehdule is.

[UserDane]

Geez, and then we are again bombed back a couple of decades when everything concerning children is all attributable to the mother

[dazzling]

Originally Posted by Little_star

I honestly cannot see why Mary would need 3 nannies considering how very "light" her scehdule is.

Could it be that two nannies one for each child & the third part-time or takes over when one of the two nannies are away?!

Overmore, Even if Mary did have very few events this month I dont see what the problem if she did have three nannies. She could give them a week off or so. Also, This doesnt mean Mary doesnt spend time or is hands on mother because she has nannies.

Imo, as outsider to Mary & Frederiks private life, we dont know how the nannies schedules are orginised & they know whats best for their family.

[ricarda]

Originally Posted by Little_star

Correct me if I'm wrong but Mary has had no more than 5 events this month, 2 of which were sporting events (tennis and swimming) so in all liklihood require very little preparation. The helicopter launch did not seem like the most taxing of events either.

With all due respect, Mary seems to have plenty of free time and I find the "behind the scenes" argument to be quite weak in this instance. These were not major conferences or foreign trips where speeches needed to be prepared or briefings needed to take place. Yes, she attended the mental health event, but IMRIC she made no speech and just sat in the audience like everybody else.

I honestly cannot see why Mary would need 3 nannies considering how very "light" her scehdule is.

1 of her 5 official events in November had to do with sport, besides Mary attended 2 functions concerning the Mary Foundation which was founded this year (no preparation needed of course ). Moreover she is patron of 22 organisations, so actually I do think the "behind the scenes" argument is quite strong in her instance.

Besides, nannies are not hired per month. There may be months were they are not needed that much and others where they are needed very much.

[Freye]

Princess Isabella is still only 7 months old and is being breast fed. It seems natural to me that the official schedule is not too busy.


I found a translation of the original conversation about balancing work and children, from the Anne Wolden-Raethinge book.
Anne Wolden-Raethinge (Ninka) has made interviews with many members of the Danish Royal Family over the years, and this book, sanctioned by the court, was a means of introducing Mary to the Danish public before the marriage.

In a family, the children have the highest priority ... Now, I am in a situation where I'll get a lot of help. Consequently I'll be able to work as much as possible in time there is left. I'll consider myself to be a working mother, but I'll be a 100 percent mother. My children won't be raised by nannies - definitely not. On the other hand I am not a clinging, mother-hen type of person. That may change, of course, when I actually have children myself.

It is quite clear from this statement that Mary and Frederik always intended to have nannies to help when necessary. It was the tabloid press which distorted this to a different meaning, as many have already pointed out.

[Royal Darkness]

May I ask (in this thread) how many nannies the other royal families have? Do we have information about this? I never read something about "a nanny-problem" in connection with Crownprincess Mette-Marit, Mathilde, Letizia or Maximá? We discuss, that it is so "terrible", that Crownprincess Mary has three (or four) nannies, but what is "normal"? Maybe Mette-Marit has eight nannies, Mathilde has seven nannies, and so on... I don't know? Who knows it?