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  #101  
Old 05-29-2007, 01:56 PM
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Exactly, no marriage is perfect. It isn't flowers and kisses constantly.

Concerning the marriage of these people whom I don't know I must admit one thing. The pictures taken of Mary with Christian at the seaside this past winter on that cold grey day. Mary looked lonely too me and I felt bad that she was at home and Fred was off sailing. Sometimes I wonder if she was sort of using the media(in a good way) to send a message to Fred?
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Old 05-29-2007, 02:09 PM
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They are normal people and their marriage is normal like many other around the World with good nad bad days.
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  #103  
Old 05-29-2007, 02:13 PM
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BTW, If we all judge by pictures then were wasting time I think, because people with troubled marriage’s are going to play all safe and over do it buy holding hands more then used to and kissing, hugging etc to prove they’re fine. Fred & Mary are acting on how things are they don’t over do it because they don’t have to prove anything.
  #104  
Old 05-29-2007, 05:10 PM
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Dazzling, I just love the last few words of your comment "they don't have to prove anything."

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  #105  
Old 05-29-2007, 06:25 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dazzling
BTW, If we all judge by pictures then were wasting time...
Also, if the camera is snapped just as someone looks at ...where they're walking then it can be perceived as that person is sad and there's trouble in the marriage. Please give me a break! Anything to sell a picture or a bogus story no matter how much it may hurt the innocent parties involved. Like if it was really true they would actually run and tell the media!
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  #106  
Old 05-29-2007, 11:36 PM
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Many of you are right, marriage is a lot of work! I've been married 5 years to a wonderful man, but that's not to say that some days I don't want to just "ring his neck" because of something he said or did. No marriage is perfect and if someone tells you their's is --- they're lying through their teeth. Also, marriages do "cool off". At the start, it's passion and fire, and slowly those things are replaced with companionship, loyalty and in my marriage lots & lots of humor. Just thoughts from an "old" married woman.
  #107  
Old 05-30-2007, 06:58 AM
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Originally Posted by biboquinhas
IMO she seams to have a lot of strenght, naturalness, vigour, positive energy, she likes to be amoung people, she knows how to speak in public. We cannot say the same for Frederick.
I agree. And I think Fred is well aware that Mary and the kids are his best assets. Where would he be without her? She looks like she's wearing the trousers and he's the type of man who exactly needs this kind of woman. She's good for him and he better walks the line - and it seems he does as he has only eyes for his family. Don't think in a second their marriage is in trouble. To me he looks like he'd prefer to be second in line and Joachim doing the job but unfortunately that's whishfull thinking. Fred will need Mary's strength in the years to come and I am convinced they'll be doing fine, although from time to time she'll have to give him a reality bite
  #108  
Old 05-30-2007, 07:06 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Duke of Marmalade
To me he looks like he'd prefer to be second in line and Joachim doing the job but unfortunately that's whishfull thinking. Fred will need Mary's strength in the years to come and I am convinced they'll be doing fine, although from time to time she'll have to give him a reality bite
I agree with you Duke of Marmalade, I also think that Fred would have preferred to be the second born, he seems so introvert and shy.
  #109  
Old 05-30-2007, 07:15 AM
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I agree with you Duke of Marmalade, I also think that Fred would have preferred to be the second born, he seems so introvert and shy.
Yep, and given it seems he was only able to have a good relationship with his parents as an adult and speaks not well about his childhood / growing up I am sure being the heir was a heavy burden on him throughout his life.
Finding someone in Mary who wants to share this burden and give him the opportunity to have a loving family is certainly precious and special to him. It shows when they interact with Christian - a loving dad who does not want to repeat the mistakes his own father made with him.
No question he has matured since he is with her / has his own family.
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Old 05-30-2007, 07:23 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Duke of Marmalade
No question he has matured since he is with her / has his own family.
Absolutely, I have always seen him as a nervous little boy and Mary does bring out the best in him. Being a shy person myself, I know exactly how he feels.
  #111  
Old 05-30-2007, 07:35 AM
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Mary does seem to be a very strong and independent woman. Now that you guys have mentioned it, Frederik does seem a little shy. I had no idea that his childhood wasn't vey happy though. What can I say? I'm new in this thread.
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  #112  
Old 05-30-2007, 07:45 AM
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Originally Posted by kerry
Mary does seem to be a very strong and independent woman. Now that you guys have mentioned it, Frederik does seem a little shy. I had no idea that his childhood wasn't vey happy though. What can I say? I'm new in this thread.
I remember this famous speech - don't know the occasion - where Fred mentioned that if there is any truth in the saying "you love the ones you punish" his parents must have loved him and his brother very much. It's not the exact wording but I hope the message comes across. He stated that he did not have a happy childhood in terms of being loved or being shown that he's loved by his parents. QM was always very busy and she does not look like she's very much into children, even her own grandchildren. Seems Henrik was very hard on the boys and they had a cold upbringing.
Having experienced such a childhood of course he wants to do better and give a stable and loving background to his own family.
  #113  
Old 05-30-2007, 07:49 AM
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Originally Posted by crisscross1
Absolutely, I have always seen him as a nervous little boy and Mary does bring out the best in him. Being a shy person myself, I know exactly how he feels.
Hi Crisscross1

There is nothing wrong with being shy - I guess there are situations where everybody is - but it might not be very helpful for a heir of the throne.
Chosing a self assured woman like Mary with all the assets she brings along is the best thing Frederik could do
  #114  
Old 05-30-2007, 07:56 AM
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Thanks, Duke of Marmalade. Kind of sounds similiar to Prince Charles' upbringing in a way. Mary definitely compliments him well.
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Old 05-30-2007, 08:48 AM
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Thanks, Duke of Marmalade. Kind of sounds similiar to Prince Charles' upbringing in a way. Mary definitely compliments him well.
How true ... another shy heir to the throne. Shame he was not lucky in terms of finding a partner that suited him at the right time.
  #116  
Old 05-30-2007, 08:55 AM
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Originally Posted by Duke of Marmalade
I agree. And I think Fred is well aware that Mary and the kids are his best assets. Where would he be without her? She looks like she's wearing the trousers and he's the type of man who exactly needs this kind of woman. She's good for him and he better walks the line - and it seems he does as he has only eyes for his family. Don't think in a second their marriage is in trouble. To me he looks like he'd prefer to be second in line and Joachim doing the job but unfortunately that's whishfull thinking. Fred will need Mary's strength in the years to come and I am convinced they'll be doing fine, although from time to time she'll have to give him a reality bite
I am not sure I totally agree with you.
I mean, I agree Mary seems to complement Frederik and is good for him and I too have the feeling that Frederik would have preferred not to be the firstborn/heir.

On the other hand: Where would he be without her?
Well, Frederik managed to be voted "most popular Dane" 7 or 8 times I think (not sure) before Mary came along. I don't see a Philippe/Mathilde situation here. Also, I have the feeling that if ever there is going to be a divorce people would not be so wholeheartedly on Mary's side as they were originally in Alexandra's case (things have changed though). Frederik is far too popular in his own right.

Secondly, I am also not sure whether Mary is really wearing the trousers in this relationship. Somehow they remind me of my own grandparents, an energetic woman and a more emotional man. When I was a child I always thought she was the boss in their relationship but in the end I found out that things were usually going the way he wanted.

In my eyes Frederik appears media shy but not weak. Also, despite his unhappy and isolated childhood he managed to develop into a man who by all reports can interact very well with people (perhaps not with the media people though). I feel he has quite a strong will, courage (on the negative side: a tendency to egoism) and he doesn't care too much what others think of him. Imagine him standing up at a banquet whose purpose was to celebrate his parents and then critizising his parents, or sailing instead of attending the Swedish king's birthday. Whatever one may think of it it certainly needs a kind of strength.
  #117  
Old 05-30-2007, 08:56 AM
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You're right of course. Look at Charles now! That is what Frederik is getting from Mary now and it does make a difference. I hope they have a long and prosperous marriage.
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  #118  
Old 05-30-2007, 09:04 AM
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Originally Posted by Duke of Marmalade
Hi Crisscross1

There is nothing wrong with being shy - I guess there are situations where everybody is - but it might not be very helpful for a heir of the throne.
Chosing a self assured woman like Mary with all the assets she brings along is the best thing Frederik could do
Duke of Marmalade, you are right. There is nothing wrong with being shy but it can be terribly frustrating. There have been so many things in life that I have wanted to do but never had the confidence for various reasons. Low self esteem, poor self image, what ever it may be, it is only now at my age I am slowly beginning to realise that what people think isn't important. It's how I feel about myself that matters and, even as an heir to a country, I don't think it would make much difference to Frederik. Having Mary take the limelight from him would be a great relief and I am sure he loves and apreciates her very much for that, as I do my patient and understanding husband.
  #119  
Old 05-30-2007, 09:31 AM
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Originally Posted by crisscross1
Duke of Marmalade, you are right. There is nothing wrong with being shy but it can be terribly frustrating. There have been so many things in life that I have wanted to do but never had the confidence for various reasons. Low self esteem, poor self image, what ever it may be, it is only now at my age I am slowly beginning to realise that what people think isn't important. It's how I feel about myself that matters and, even as an heir to a country, I don't think it would make much difference to Frederik. Having Mary take the limelight from him would be a great relief and I am sure he loves and apreciates her very much for that, as I do my patient and understanding husband.
Yes, well said. Finding the right partner does make a difference : -)
  #120  
Old 05-30-2007, 09:38 AM
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On the other hand: Where would he be without her?
Well, Frederik managed to be voted "most popular Dane" 7 or 8 times I think (not sure) before Mary came along. I don't see a Philippe/Mathilde situation here. Also, I have the feeling that if ever there is going to be a divorce people would not be so wholeheartedly on Mary's side as they were originally in Alexandra's case (things have changed though). Frederik is far too popular in his own right.

Ricarda, you might be right. If it came down to a divorce at the end of the day he's the heir and she's his estranged wife, a foreigner to boot, and the people will be on his side. Alexandra's case was a bit different, only 2nd in line and Joachim's behaviour did not help to get people on his side. Fred is a much stronger character than his brother.

In my eyes Frederik appears media shy but not weak. Also, despite his unhappy and isolated childhood he managed to develop into a man who by all reports can interact very well with people (perhaps not with the media people though). I feel he has quite a strong will, courage (on the negative side: a tendency to egoism) and he doesn't care too much what others think of him. Imagine him standing up at a banquet whose purpose was to celebrate his parents and then critizising his parents, or sailing instead of attending the Swedish king's birthday. Whatever one may think of it it certainly needs a kind of strength.[/quote]

I agree. I think that due to his childhood he has developed an enourmous strength, first of all physically, maybe kind of a compensation for what he was missing and the only way to get his father's respect (running marathons, doing excusions, army etc). The other side is what you call a tendancy to egoism, still shows but I think it has become better with Mary. IMO she has helped him to show or live his emotions better than he was able to do before he met her.
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