May 10, 2004 - The Mercury Australia
Written By: Ben English
An Intimate Insight Into Royal Romance
Mary Donaldson has publicly opened her heart for the first time about the extraordinary romance that will this Friday culminate in her crowning as a Danish princess. In the only interview the Hobart-born former advertising executive and real estate agent has granted before her celebrated wedding to Danish Crown Prince Frederik, Mary's story can be told for the first time in her own words. The woman who has captured Danish hearts has candidly told Danish newspaper Politiken how her relationship with Frederik deepened secretly for 14 months before it became public knowledge, the doubts she harboured about their future together and her dread of meeting her future husband's mother, Queen Margrethe.
During a 25-hour interview conducted during seven sittings since December, the princess-in-waiting reveals her conviction that her remarkable fate was destined, that she was meant to meet Frederik and embark on her fairytale journey. But she also speaks of her agony over the loss of the two key women in her life, her mother and her grandmother, and how their deaths transformed her spiritual beliefs and approach to life. And she speaks for the first time about her first great love, a Melbourne man with whom she lived during a seven-year relationship. She also dreams of using her position to help the mentally ill, in the same way Princess Diana helped various causes after she married into royalty. On the eve of her transformation from Australian commoner to future queen of the world's oldest kingdom, Mary says she is overwhelmingly happy, in love and looking forward to her life as a wife, mother and role model for her adopted country. "I have always known that I would only marry if I met the one and only love," she says. "I have known that the most important thing had to be totally unconditional love -- unreserved -- and that you recognise it, when it hits you, and that love and happiness go together."
Mary, 32, describes the night she met Frederik at Sydney nightclub the Slip Inn on September 16, 2000, during the Olympic Games. "Frederik and I started to talk and we simply didn't stop talking," she said. "And that was that! A very long talk, which went on for a year or actually 14 months....He and his brother went to Melbourne the next day. But about a week later I met with him and his friends for dinner." Mary reveals the couple suspended plans to spend a prolonged time together when Frederik was hit by a family crisis. "He was called home because his grandmother was seriously ill," she said. "He was very upset about it and wanted to leave as soon as possible. So we had one and a half days together, having hoped for a whole week to get to know each other a little better." Frederik's grandmother, the queen mother, died soon afterwards and he remained in Denmark for much of the next year. But his romance with Mary defied the distance barrier and he returned to Australia in 2001. "It wasn't like it went 'bang!' that first evening, that I knew I had met the man in my life," Mary said. "That point in time is hard to pinpoint. Also because there was this enormous distance between us and long spells between our meetings." With this distance, both geographically and in terms of the family environment, you just can't tell that this is the right person. But we were constantly in contact with each other."
The couple exchanged phone calls, letters and CDs of their favourite music. Mary sent Frederik a Powderfinger album -- "which is still my favourite band"-- and he sent her some Danish ones, among them Sort Sol. Mary decided to deepen the commitment in November 2001, when a Danish magazine revealed her as Frederik's new girlfriend for the first time. "The time had come where we both felt it couldn't go on long distance. We decided to take the chance and see if we were meant for each other. That's when I left Australia." Mary left her job as an upmarket property agent in Sydney's eastern suburbs for Paris, a one-hour flight from Copenhagen. She spent the next five months spending the weekends at Amalienborg Castle, the royal family's Copenhagen palace. But the intensifying media scrutiny tested her resolve. "While I was in Paris I tried to keep a low profile," she recalls. "I was waiting for the point of no return in my life, the line that would be crossed when I was seen with Frederik in public." If all this turned out to be a fata morgana [mirage] I would like to be able to become 'Mary' again. Then maybe I could settle down in London or some other place where nobody would recognise me anyway."
But one of the most foreboding tests was still to come: the interview with Queen Margrethe. Mary knew that if her prospective mother-in-law rejected her it would doom her future with Frederik. "Intuitively I knew the interview with Margrethe had to go well and I also asked myself questions about how I would handle it," Mary said. "Frederik didn't talk much about the meeting beforehand. He basically just mentioned that his mother is a regular person, like you and me, and that she probably would be just as nervous about meeting me." Mary reveals that while awaiting the meeting with Margrethe, she considered whether she would ask Frederik to leave the monarchy. "Had the meeting been negative I have no idea what would have happened," she says. "But I don't think I would ever have asked Frederik to abdicate. He knows his role in life. He feels obligated to it and I think -- no, I know -- it would demand too much of him to give it up." But her fears were unfounded. Margrethe immediately approved of the former Taroona High School girl during their interview at Amalienborg. "She could see that it was serious and didn't want to put further pressure on us from the media or others," she said.
Mary also reveals how close she came to marrying before she even met her fairytale prince. "I had a boyfriend for seven years, but we drifted apart," she said. "We still have a good relationship. We will always mean something special to each other because we have been through a lot together. Seven years is a long time and he was there when my mother died." Mary speaks of the qualities she has come to cherish in her husband-to-be. "His vast energy -- spiritually and physically ... his attitude towards life -- he is a very interesting person with a complex personality," she said. "He fights many battles with himself, like many of us. He has a warm, warm heart, he is loyal and honest, almost to the point of being beyond reproach. He is funny." I believe Frederik touches people's hearts. He doesn't want me to say this but he is also a lonely person, like we all are." Now, four days before her historic nuptials, divorce is unthinkable to the princess-in-waiting. "For us, divorce is impossible to imagine. It has always been my view that in love there is only one time -- and that is it. People today give up too easily and just say 'OK, we have grown apart'. I believe you can experience two or three 'great loves' in your life, but also that we really hope to find just one that will last."
