Make Your Own Royal Books

[Dennism]

Charles and Camilla, a love story: Because love means never having to say you´re sorry.

 

[Dennism]

A guide to skiing together as a couple by Felipe and Letizia

What to look for in your Tasmanian Dream Home by Frederik and Mary.

What to eat at Belgian Expos by Laurent and Claire

A baby´s guide to knocking things over by Ingrid Alexandra

A Guide to Snow outfits for children by Countess Eloise.

 

[Dennism]

How to Incorporate Horse Racing Terms into any speech by Queen Elizabeth II

Stylish Hats for the 21st century by Crown Princess Mette-Marit

Appropriate Fashions for a Wedding Guest by Sara Buys

 

[Dennism]

How to Stay Friends with an Ex-Mother-in-Law by H.H. Princess Alexandra, Countess of Fredriksborg.

25 Ways to have an Amicable Divorce by H.H. Princess Alexandra, Countess of Fredriksborg and Prince Joachim

How to Curtsey in 15 Easy Steps by Crown Princess Letizia

 

[Dennism]

Out of this World Hats: A guide to hats that look like flying saucers by Queen Beatrix,

Tartans for Every Occasion by Charles and Camilla

Eight Days a Week: My life as a Hardworking Royal by Crown Princess Letizia.

A Royal Regime: A guide to dieting by Prince Laurent.

Ponytails and Pinstriped Suits: The Personal Style of a Royal Knockout by Crown Princess Victoria

High Heels and Pregnancy: A Guide by Crown Princess Mary

 

[norwegianne]

What to expect when you're expecting royal babies: advice for new royal mothers, written by Mathilde of Belgium, Mette-Marit of Norway and Maxima of the Netherlands

 

[EmpressRouge]

The Civil Way: How a civil ceremony saved a divorcee's potential to marry the Prince of the Asturias by Crown Princess Letizia.

What Not to Say: Quotes that will brand you pushy/a racist, etc. by Princess Michael of Kent.

 

[Dennism]

Very good, ladies. Keep them coming.

 

[monaco70s]

Very good job by everyone!

Mabel Wise: The art of bows on clothing
Marie Therese Of Luxembourg: How to handle with sucess a numerous family
Charles & Camilla: 2 funerals & a wedding

 

[Nichola]

HRH The Duke Of Edinburgh: "Speak your Mind" How to insult a nation in one simple phrase

HIH Princess Soraya of Iran: "Shah to Screen" Be different, be a royal and then a celebrity.

HM The Queen Mother: "How to survive the Windsors" 101 Gin Cocktails.

HRH The Princess Royal: "Don't tell Mom the corgi's dead" or "Mommy I Killed your dog" Princess Anne's personal account of how to upset your mother by buying a bigger dog.

HRH The Prince of Wales: "Safe Skiing" a guide to safe skiing when one is at Cloisters

HRH Prince Carl-Phillip of Sweden: "Ellocution: I'm not gay, I am just well spoken" A prince's guide to being a Gay Icon

HM Queen Silvia & HRH Crown Princess Mary: "Prince Catcher" A guide to spotting your prince at the Olympic Games

The Duchess of York: "You know what I did last summer" a Duchess' guide on how to deal with embarressing moments with your in-laws.

The Imperial Family of Russia: "Designer Bullet Proof Vests" Enough said i think

HRH The Prince of Wales: "Rough Guide to Australia" Where to be greeted by effectionate women on beaches and where to avoid being shot at by people with starting pistols

HRH Princess Marina Duchess of Kent: "Common Little Scottish Girls" Follwoing in her cousin prince philip's footsteps as an outspoken Greek princess, Marina tells us what she really thinks of her sister-in-laws.

HSH Princess Gloria von Thurn und Taxis: "Death and Taxis" How to survive death taxation of the Thurn und Taxis empire.

Oh, those titles are so funny.

The one about the Duke of Edinburgh really made me laugh - it's so typical of him!

 

[Freedom]

A Royal's Thread

If a royal were to start a thread, what would the title be and who would start it?

 

[Dennism]

My Beautiful and Creative Hats by Mette-Marit

Australian Words and Phrases for Danes by Mary

Finding your Inner Fashion Designer by Märtha Louise

 

[Von Schlesian]

101 ways to create controversy-HRH Princess Michael of Kent

How would you feel about me being Queen?-HRH The Duchess of Cornwall

The 27 countries who call me Queen-HM Queen Elizabeth II

 

[Smilla]

One hundred creative nicknames for your mistress - P Charles

 

[Idriel]

Very funny Denism and Von Schlesian!!

The wonders of power suits by The Princess of Asturias
The man who wanted to be Queen by Prince Philip
And what do you do? by E II

 

[selrahc4]

Bon mots, quips, and witticisms: HRH The Duke Of Edinburgh

(note, now that this has been merged...I meant he would start this topic as an internet thread, not a book)

 

[ElisaR]

[...]
And what do you do? by E II

This is funny!

 

[wymanda]

A book by Queen Elizabeth

An Odd Number of In-Laws
Coping with three sons, four daughters-in-law, two sons-in-law and one daughter!

 

[Australian]

A book by Camilla:

Great hair-style tips for the modern woman

Book by Prince Charles:

How to know if your microphone is on

Book by Elizabeth I

10 different ways to execute a perfect beheading

 

[Splodger]

"Dottie: Corgi Killer (true crime series)" The biography of Princess Anne's muderous dog

 

[Idriel]

"Dottie: Corgi Killer (true crime series)" The biography of Princess Anne's muderous dog

Dottie the ripper?
But still, I would rather have a audience with him rather than with his mistress.

 

[wymanda]

By Prince Harry

Into Africa
How to Kill Bambi, love the In-Laws & get along with their dictator freinds without upsetting Granny

 

[Josefine]

Victoria and Daniel, We made them wonder about us, will we or will we not

 

[BeatrixFan]

Re:

How to Sell Your Home : Princess Michael of Kent
Hats for All Occassions : Queen Beatrix of the Netherlands
Carts and their Horses : Prince Louis of Luxembourg
Travelling Home : King Constantine of Greece
Have I or Haven't I? A Guide to Cosmetic Surgery : Queen Silvia of Sweden
Ouch : Losing a Finger : Pieter Van Vollenhoven
Big Hair and It's Origins : Queen Fabiola of Belgium, Foreword by Raine Spencer

 

[Margrethe II]

Anchor woman today - Crown Princess tomorrow - Letizia, the life story so far.

Colonials & Chains, the way it ought to be - Pincess Michael of Kent on todays society.

And a follow up

Dogs, Horses and Children - priorities. Princess Michael expresses her concern on english home values.

Humble Pie - Philip of Edinburgh

And another follow up

Foot in Mouth - Philip of Edinburgh

Two heads are better than one - Henry VIII tells all about his unfortunate "wives",Anne Boleyn & Catherine Howard.


"MII"

 

[BeatrixFan]

Re;

Heads and How to do Without One : Mary, Queen of Scots

In her fascinating new book, Mary - Queen of Scots, talks us through various ways of surviving without a head. Methods include wearing wide-brimmed hats, high-heeled shoes and drawing attention to the weather rather than a lack of a face.

Wives and When to Listen : Charles I , King of England

Henrietta Maria wasn't the easiest gal to live with and in his new release, Charles Stuart, executed King of England, gives us an account of his every day life with the Queen. Why did she throw a choux bun at Cromwell? What was her advice before he went to the block? Find out in "Wives and When to Listen"

Carry On Marrying : Henry VIII

A creative bingo system, an axe and a game of whist all feature in this book complete with photographs of all your favourite carry-on stars acting out the stories of Henry VIII and his wife. The highlight has to be Kenneth Williams as Anne Boleyn and Hattie Jacques as Henry VIII.

There were Four in the Bed : Charles II, King of England

Sex, Sex, Nell Gwynn and Sex. Royal orgies as you've never seen them before. Illustrated copies avaliable.

Roll Over : Elizabeth I, Queen of England

The Virgin Queen talks us through her guide to resisting temptation. New and novel methods include wearing a suit of armour, learning to tap-dance and having a picture of the Elephant Man tatooed on one's chest.

Golf Buggies : Queen Elizabeth, The Queen Mother

That doyenne of alternative travel that was the late Queen Mother, has left behind a fascinating guide to arriving and riding in a Golf Buggy. Handy Tip : Don't attempt to do wheelies.

Understanding Trees : Prince Charles

A careful language guide aimed to help one converse with not only trees, but other shrubs and herbacious border-plants.

Drugs, Sex and Swiss Rolls : Prince Harry

Pot, Romping and tea with the Queen - what is there not to like about this book?

 

[justi]

Hope it's not to late to add some more titles to the Royal Book Collection. All to do with the British RF

Queen Elizabeth 2
How to Screw over your eldest son.
How to screw over the future king by breathing
Ignoring their antics
The queen's in depth analysis on the scandals and antics of her family over the year
Her Dogs
I'm amoungst my own... (Paris Hilton's dog has a book.....)
Dogs Point of View of The royal family
Diana
How to **** the Royal family

Prince Charles
And I'm in the defence force...
The Prince's personal account of his time in the defence force and a comprehensive (Includes a comprehensive list of his roles)
Polo IS a sport
A defence of Polo
Queen Mother
Smiling through the Scandals
How to smile through the various scandals
Camilla
I'm a what?
Camilla's personal account through the deliberation of choosing a title
I'm hitched to the heir
Camilla's personal account of the path to marriage
Down in the vaults
Camilla's trip through the vaults to choose her tiara. A horror story.
William
But I dun wanna join the army
Williams whinging account of how the army is just 'not for him'

 

[Dennism]

No, it's not too late, Justi. Very good titles. I liked the first QEII book. Ouch.

Albert- Family Planning for Dummies

Camilla- How to win over Critics.

 

[Josefine]

Crown prince Frederik & Crown Princess Mary -
How to name your child by keeoing the public in the dark

 

[JessRulz]

Stories YOU Have Written on Royalty

Hello Everyone!!

Last year I wrote a story that featured two members of the Royal Family of Spain (Felipe & Letizia as King and Queen) as two of the main characters for an English class at school, and I was wondering if anyone else has written a story (or stories) on a royal family (or families).

My story involves King Felipe & Queen Letizia (it is set in the future) and their only child, Princess Isabel. They move to Australia to do business with the government, and the story escalates from there and goes through the things that happen to them while they are living in Oz. Includes cameo appearances by (remember, this is in the future! in around 13-14 years) King Frederik X, Queen Mary, Crown Prince Christian (all real, as you may know), Princess Margrethe and Princess Henrietta (both fictional) of Denmark.

I put the story on the website my friends and I created (there is a direct link at the end of this post), and invite you to read it!
There is also a section where you can post responses to the story, or, if you please, you can post them in this thread!

And, if you have written any stories involving any royalty, past or present, feel free to post them here!

http://www.freewebs.com/according2us/myspanishroyaltystory.htm

The story also has Spanish in it, with the English translation in footnotes at the end of each page. If any Spanish is wrong, I apologise, as I used an Internet translation site.

**In my story, I did not mean to offend anybody, and I have nothing against the Spanish Royal Family (I think they are great, BTW! ), and it was either the SRF or the Danish Royal Family, and I simply flipped a coin to pick my characters. I do not mean any harm to Felipe, Letizia or any other real-life characters in my story, or do I depict any of their actual personalities, etc.**

Cheers and I hope you post some of your own stories!,
JessRulz

PS. My English teacher gave me 100% for this story, which is an A+ in grading, but she also posed a new question that wasn't answered in the story: Who is the father of Letizia's baby? Now, I hadn't thought about this, so I will let your imagination take over and you can decide for yourself! (Again, nothing against Letizia, Felipe, etc.)