Tiggy Legge Bourke (Nanny to William and Harry)

[Mirabel]

Not to mention slanderous

Still...didn't anyone think Tiggy over-reacted?

I mean, if someone said that to me, I'd just imagine they had me mixed up with someone else! (IF there was no foundation, that is).

 

[Curryong]

Not if it was said by someone I knew absolutely loathed me, and had more or less demanded (in vain) that I be sacked as a minder to her sons. I think Tiggy was very well aware of Diana's feelings towards her.

 

[Missjersey]

I think you’re absolutely right Curryong

 

[sndral]

Still...didn't anyone think Tiggy over-reacted?

I mean, if someone said that to me, I'd just imagine they had me mixed up with someone else! (IF there was no foundation, that is).

No, I do not. Remember Diana had been trying to discredit/get rid of Tiggy for awhile, the staff party was intentionally done for maximum effect (rather like the encounter Diana braggingly described w/Camilla.) Tiggy was working for a long term family friend and an eye witness to the pain being caused to her charges and their father, her employer.
Diana started the rumor Tiggy was in a sexual relationship with Tiggy’s employer, most likely playing the press to fan the flames, as was her modus operandi, because she was jealous that her sons were attached to Tiggy thus Diana set about destroying Tiggy’s reputation to remove the competition for her sons’ affection. Diana left disturbing messages on Tiggy’s answering machine - another favorite trick as she did so w/ Camilla and of course the Hoare calls. Finally, the intentional public embarrassment at the Christmas staff party. Diana had gotten away with a lot of shoddy behavior towards people who were reluctant to do anything about it, but Tiggy had clean hands, she had nothing to hide - sometimes you have to stand up to a bully and towards Tiggy, Diana was a bully.

 

[Missjersey]

No, I do not. You are working for a long term family friend and an eye witness to the pain being caused to your charges and their father, your employer.
Diana starts rumors that you are in a sexual relationship with your employer, most likely playing the press to fan the flames, as was her modus operandi, because she was jealous that her sons were attached to you thus your reputation must be destroyed and her competition for her sons’ affection removed. Diana leaves disturbing messages on your answering machine - another favorite trick of hers as she did so w/ Camilla and of course the Hoare calls. Finally, the intentional public embarrassment at the Christmas staff party. Diana had gotten away with a lot of shoddy behavior towards people who were reluctant to do anything about it, but Tiggy had clean hands, she had nothing to hide - sometimes you have to stand up to a bully and towards Tiggy, Diana was a bully.

Perfectly stated to me!

 

[Denville]

Still...didn't anyone think Tiggy over-reacted?

I mean, if someone said that to me, I'd just imagine they had me mixed up with someone else! (IF there was no foundation, that is).

over reacted??? She's accused in public of having an affair with someone, and aborting his baby, which was all completely untrue???

 

[Katrianna]

I agree, there was no overreaction on Tiggy's part. Diana made serious allegations/accusations about Charles and Tiggy in which there was absolutely no basis for them. There was potential for harm to not only Charles and Tiggy, but to William and Harry, who could have gotten wind of it by friends overhearing their parents and then telling the Wales boys. There was also the potential of the press catching on to Diana's allegations and all hell would have broken loose, not just in Great Britain, but world wide. Charles would have survived, it would have been a rough go, but he would have survived. Tiggy's reputation would have been ruined. A threatened lawsuit would have been the only way to stop Diana in her tracks.
Diana was a bully. That was one of the most vicious actions that she ever did.

 

[Denville]

I agree, there was no overreaction on Tiggy's part. Diana made serious allegations/accusations about Charles and Tiggy in which there was absolutely no basis for them. There was potential for harm to not only Charles and Tiggy, but to William and Harry, who could have gotten wind of it by friends overhearing their parents and then telling the Wales boys. There was also the potential of the press catching on to Diana's allegations and all hell would have broken loose, not just in Great Britain, but world wide. Charles would have survived, it would have been a rough go, but he would have survived. Tiggy's reputation would have been ruined. A threatened lawsuit would have been the only way to stop Diana in her tracks.
Diana was a bully. That was one of the most vicious actions that she ever did.

I think " a bully" isn't quite the way to describe her.. but I agree that she behaved very badly in this instance and that Tiggy was understandably upset and angry, and was right to threaten a lawsuit. Diana DID say something terrible to her and in public. If she really truly believed what she said, (which I think in one way she did), she should have either said nothing.. it was Tiggy's own business - or if she felt she had to say soemthing, to do it privately.

 

[Countessmeout]

Maliciously spreading rumors publically, and embarrassing Tiggy at a Christmas party for starters, both prime examples of bullying. Around that time several of her employees, including her private secretary quit, rumored for her unreasonable behavior towards them.

In no way did Tiggy over react. This wasn't a simple family she was working for which you would just have to worry about a bad reference for a new job. Her name was spreading across international papers. This wasn't a simple case of libel, it was on a much grander scale then most can understand.

 

[Denville]

I think it was "Diana lashing out" rather than consciously bullying. I think she was in a very volatile mental state in the last few years of her life. I believe she thougth that separation or divorce from Charles would make her life easier, and it didn't.. and she was ready to fly out at a lot of people.

 

[O-H Anglophile]

But that is not an excuse for that kind of behavior. Some things Diana did to other people, even if they were a result of her own unhappiness, are not defensible.

 

[Denville]

But that is not an excuse for that kind of behavior. Some things Diana did to other people, even if they were a result of her own unhappiness, are not defensible.

If you are referring to my post, I am not defending her. I just don't think that it was "conscious bullyng" on her part.. it was paranoid lashing out. I think she did convince herself that there was an affair between Tiggy and Charles and wanted to lash out at Tig for this.. As I've said, even if she did geneuinely believe it, and felt that it was inappropriate for the woman who was "big sister" to hr sons, to be in a relationship with their father, she could have dealt with it in a very different manner of raising the issue with Tiggy and/or Charles in private.

 

[Pranter]

My guess is she had raised the issue with Charles in private and he told her to bugger off (along with denials) and she didn't believe him/was angry and lashed out.

Diana's methods seem to be more manipulative, not bullying in her normal M.O. I don't think her nature was to bully people.

LaRae

 

[wyevale]

In addition to her thoroughly lovely PUBLIC persona, there was another deeply unpleasant private one.
'Unhappiness' NEVER excuses inflicting unhappiness on others...

 

[Denville]

My guess is she had raised the issue with Charles in private and he told her to bugger off (along with denials) and she didn't believe him/was angry and lashed out.

Diana's methods seem to be more manipulative, not bullying in her normal M.O. I don't think her nature was to bully people.

LaRae

I'm not srue what you mean by tis. are you saying that manipulation was more her normal way of doing things than direct outright bullying?
as for your first remark, I know of no evidence that Diana raised the issue with Charles..
The evidence seems to be that Diana got a bee in her bonnet on no evidence.. that Tiggy had been pregnant.. and because she disliked her, and was jealous of T's close relationship with the boys, she lashed out at her, in public...

 

[Osipi]

Diana was very territorial when it came to things that she held dear. Anyone attempting to infringe on her relationship with her sons was a threat. Anyone that looked crosseyed at her husband was a threat. Anyone that held ideas of what their relationship with Diana should be that didn't suit her were a threat.

Diana was vindicative. If things weren't as she wanted them to be, she set out to make it so. We saw this with her lashing out at Tiggy. If she could get Tiggy out of the picture permanently, a threat was gone. We saw this with her relationship with Hasnat Khan in visiting his family and conspiring to get him a job in South Africa without his knowledge. We saw this with the phone calls to Oliver Hoare's home. We saw this with Diana wanting to pull strings to keep Hewitt out of serving in the Gulf. All examples of manipulating to get things to be as she wanted them to be. It never worked and, for the most part, showed Diana's true character.

 

[Denville]

Preciseley, it never worked. It was Diana, desperately trying to make life the way she wanted it. I'm not saying she didn't behave badly at time, but most of the time, she hurt herself more than other people.

 

[Pranter]

I'm not srue what you mean by tis. are you saying that manipulation was more her normal way of doing things than direct outright bullying?
as for your first remark, I know of no evidence that Diana raised the issue with Charles..
The evidence seems to be that Diana got a bee in her bonnet on no evidence.. that Tiggy had been pregnant.. and because she disliked her, and was jealous of T's close relationship with the boys, she lashed out at her, in public...

Yes absolutely...it was more her nature to manipulate than to bully. Common sense and thinking about human behavior leads me to believe Diana confronted Charles about Tiggy. They fought about all kinds of things.

We have little evidence about a lot of things surrounding Charles and Diana, sometimes you have to fill in the gaps based on what we do know about them.


LaRae

 

[Pranter]

In addition to her thoroughly lovely PUBLIC persona, there was another deeply unpleasant private one.
'Unhappiness' NEVER excuses inflicting unhappiness on others...

I doubt anyone here would justify her behavior towards Tiggy. I generally liked Diana and think she had a lot of positives. However like with most folks there's generally a side that isn't so pleasant. I'm not one of those Diana people who think she was a saint.


LaRae

 

[Denville]

Yes absolutely...it was more her nature to manipulate than to bully. Common sense and thinking about human behavior leads me to believe Diana confronted Charles about Tiggy. They fought about all kinds of things.

We have little evidence about a lot of things surrounding Charles and Diana, sometimes you have to fill in the gaps based on what we do know about them.


LaRae

I'm sure if shed confronted Charles it would have come out... I think she went for the soft target, Tiggy, rather than fight with Charles about it...

 

[Pranter]

I'm sure if shed confronted Charles it would have come out... I think she went for the soft target, Tiggy, rather than fight with Charles about it...

She was not afraid or intimidated by Charles really and had no problems before about having a go at him...and this was about the boys. I think the reason she was so harsh with Tiggy is because she did have a go at Charles and he told her to bugger off...then she shifted targets (or included another one).


LaRae

 

[MARG]

I would have to agree. This was not about a supposed affair with Charles and a subsequent pregnancy, this was about Diana being jealous of the time that Tiggy spent with William and Harry. If, as you believe, Charles ignored her demand to get rid of her, she decided to make a public scene and humiliate Tiggy in public hoping to drive her away.

What is more hurtful to her as a person than being publicly accosted by Diana and accused of sleeping with the boss and being obliged to have an abortion. That was one ugly and hurtful scene and the fact that that episode still stays in the minds of many speaks to just how shocking and ugly the scene was.

 

[Osipi]

I'm in agreement with you, Marg. The sad thing is that I think this scene that Diana perpetrated backfired on her very badly as, if I'm not mistaken, most people that know about this incident seem to paint Diana as the "bad guy" and her attack on Tiggy was unwarranted.

It still couldn't have been easy for Tiggy to deal with but she didn't let it affect her and she carried on and remained close to William and Harry to this day.