The Royal Variety Performance has declined in importance over the years.
When I was very young, the Queen and Prince Philip almost always attended, many of the female guests wore long dresses plus jewellery and the acts were often top performers. Over the years, Bob Hope, Julie Andrews, Henry Mancini, Joe Loss [a favourite bandleader of the BRF] Danny La Rue, Cliff Richard, Shirley Bassey, Kiri te Kawana, as well as contemporary pop stars have all performed. What they have in common is that they give their services for free. Mind you, the cynical always say that it does the artistes no harm as they get priceless exposure!
The event is a fund raising event for the Enterntainment Artistes' Benevolent Fund, and traditionally used to be known as the Royal Command Performance.
Over the years, the Royal Variety Performance started to attract 'show off' artistes rather than just high-quality performers, which led to a slight decline in the 'status' of the event, but what also contributed to its loss in popularity was its reputation for seriously overrunning.
The Queen and Prince Philip OR the Queen Mother traditionally used to attend, or, occasionally, The Prince of Wales with Camilla. The Sunday papers once carried a quotation, attributable to the Queen, who was allegedly responding to Prince Edward, who was complaining to her about the duration of some engagement: H.M replied that she 'knew all about that sort of thing, as she had sat thorough many Royal Variety Performances'. Of course, no one knows whether the story is really true.
I went to one such performance in the presence of the Queen Mother. This was around 1982, at London's Theatre Royal, Drury Lane. It is a very large theatre,with 4 tiers! There were a lot of contemporary comedians performing that night, as well as singers and dancers; after all, it is a VARIETY performance!
The form is 'typical' for most royal events. i.e. the audience arrives first; there is an opportunity to buy a Programme, which is relatively expensive [but still very affordable] as it is part of the fundraising effort. From memory, there was a message from the Queen Mother in the Forward to the Programme, reminding everyone of the work of the Entertainment Artistes' Benevolent Fund. The message also carried a photo of Her Majesty and then brief details of the various artistes who were to perform that night.
We were then seated (from memory, we were required to arrive well before the QM) and then at the appointed time, Her Majesty arrived and we all stood up to welcome her, turning to face her in the Royal Box. This was so that no backs were turned on the Queen Mother. The National Anthem was played, and then we all sat down. [note: as I type this, I cannot remember whether the QM went into the official royal box or was placed in the first row of the stalls. I can remember going to a premiere at which princess Anne was present and IIRC at that particular theatre, the royal box was not used; instead the first row of the circle was designated a royal box, and I cannot for the life of me remember if the same practice did not take place at the Royal Variety Show.]
The Queen Mother was accompanied by her Lady in Waiting and a couple of other members of her Household and also sat with a couple of Charity 'big wigs' etc.
During the interval, the Queen Mother retired, presumably for refreshments and also for 'an opportunity to tidy', which I can inform you is the official royal phrase used for a roayol visit to the loo! Her Majesty then returned after the 20 minute break to watch the second half of the programme. Again, the audience all stood whilst she arrived. At the conclusion of the performance, we all stood again as the Queen Mother left the Auditorium. I believe that she then went backstage to meet the cast. We, the audience did not see this, and simply filed out, although we did of course see the Royal Rolls Royce waiting to take HM home again. The performance actually ran to time when I was there.
We did actually wait to see the Queen Mother leave, which, from memory was about 35 minutes later, although we did not get a very good view of this, because lots of people had been queuing throughout the whole of the performance [i.e. whilst we were inside] to ensure that they got 'pole position', which was of course fair.
Don't let anything that I have said put you off; you are sure to have a good night and at the end of the day, the money you pay for your ticket is going to a good cause, of which the Queen is patron. You will see the Royal as he/she/they arrive, when they leave and return at the interval and when they leave at the end. So that is quite a good 'ration' of royal viewing. The whole performance is also recorded by the BBC and you can then watch it again and try to spot yourselves in the audience, as well as looking again at the Royals as they arrive and leave.
For the record, I wore a long black velvet skirt by Pallant [who made a couple of outfits for Princess Diana] and a brightly coloured silk top from Harvey Nichols, together with Rayne Shoes. My evening bag came from Simpson. For the record, I still have all these items and can still wear the silk top; the skirt is, ahem, a little tight, as your humble Diarist has been a little forgetful when it comes to gym attendance. Most of the other ladies in the audience were similarly attired; my outfit was not as formal as it might seem, but it was long. Nowadays, I think that a lady could wear a short skirt [not a mini skirt, just 'not full length' and still pass muster.] From memory, people even wear evening trousers now. I would not quite do this: the old family rule used to be 'The Queen MIGHT see you!' i.e. so a degree of formality might be the order of the day.
Have a lovely time, and if I can give you one tip, although it is expensive, both of you should buy a programme. You can then insert your ticket inside, together with a copy of the Court Circular from The Times or The Telegraph recording the function. My programme is somewhere in my loft - unfortunately it will take me too long to find it at the moment, but I will look for it in due course.
Have fun and I hope this helps
Alex