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  #1401  
Old 08-13-2019, 10:33 AM
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Originally Posted by O-H Anglophile View Post
One is the cluster of stories that came out in the late autumn that were pretty nasty about Meghan. I think there was implication that the negativity came from a disgruntled family member who was leaking things to the press.
I think quite a lot of us remember the stories just after the trip to Australasia. That there was "implication that the negativity came from a disgruntled family member who was leaking things to the press" was and remains pure speculation. I do not believe any credible information has come into the public domain since to prove otherwise.
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  #1402  
Old 08-13-2019, 01:09 PM
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Originally Posted by O-H Anglophile View Post
I think people are discussing two different things here.

One is the cluster of stories that came out in the late autumn that were pretty nasty about Meghan. I think there was implication that the negativity came from a disgruntled family member who was leaking things to the press.

The other is the little story that Harry blew up at William and Kate after the wedding, when all of them had a lot happening in their lives and tensions were probably high. Honestly, if true, I don't see how that reflects poorly on anyone--life happens, people rashly say things when emotional and feelings get hurt. I don't think any of the four principals involved would have leaked this story purposefully.
The oddest thing to me was Harry being offended at Catherine for not making Meghan more welcome. At that time, Catherine was dealing with 2 small toddlers, a husband, Royal duties and puking her brains out constantly. Even after just giving birth, a woman's hormones are a bit easily hurt and weepy. If ANYONE hurt Meghan's feelings because she wasn't made welcome on bended knee I just can't believe it was Catherine, but she now gets all the blame. Of anyone in the family, I tend to think that Catherine and Sophie are the two "peace-makers" at heart.
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  #1403  
Old 08-13-2019, 01:16 PM
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Originally Posted by Winnie View Post
The oddest thing to me was Harry being offended at Catherine for not making Meghan more welcome. At that time, Catherine was dealing with 2 small toddlers, a husband, Royal duties and puking her brains out constantly. Even after just giving birth, a woman's hormones are a bit easily hurt and weepy. If ANYONE hurt Meghan's feelings because she wasn't made welcome on bended knee I just can't believe it was Catherine, but she now gets all the blame. Of anyone in the family, I tend to think that Catherine and Sophie are the two "peace-makers" at heart.
I absolutely agree with this, especially the part in bold. I'm not sure we'll ever really know all of the ins and outs of what's happened over the past couple of years but I think it's clear that there's definitely been something that's happened. Either way the lead up to the wedding was definitely stressful for all four of them. Granted the stress was for different reasons but stressful nonetheless. Regardless, I can't imagine Catherine being intentionally unfriendly or unwelcoming, but I can well imagine her being very preoccupied with her own life at the time and not having the time, the energy, or frankly the physical ability (given her HG) to role out the red carpet for an all hands on deck welcome. I can absolutely see William having some reservations and trying to have a conversation with Harry about his concerns given how fast the relationship moved and how much drama (family and otherwise) seemed to come with it and without being a fly on the wall it's impossible to say how William delivered this or how Harry took it but it's easy to see how it could have easily been misinterpreted on one or both ends, if it even happened at all. Frankly this whole blow-up scenario and the "stony silence" that accompanies it really paints the Sussexes in a bad light and while I'm not convinced that it actually even happened, if it did, I can absolutely see why things wouldn't have been right with four of them since.
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  #1404  
Old 08-13-2019, 01:23 PM
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If my sibling was dismissive and questioned the person I love, we might have issues too. That’s one way to present that story. Who knows if true (I suspect is nonsense) but you can see how Harry could take that. Personally I don’t think this story makes any of them look good, which is the point. Also telling how this story has changed over the year.
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  #1405  
Old 08-13-2019, 01:40 PM
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TBH if one of my siblings announced their engagement to somebody they had known for 17months I would question as to if they were sure. It wouldn't mean I didn't like their parter at all but I would think it was fast and would want to talk about it.
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  #1406  
Old 08-13-2019, 01:47 PM
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17 months is fast?

I think if you don't know by 6 months if the relationship is serious then you need to evaluate your process. By a year for sure you should know if this is someone you want to marry. Especially couples in their 30's who have had years of dating experience and life experience.


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  #1407  
Old 08-13-2019, 01:48 PM
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Originally Posted by tommy100 View Post
TBH if one of my siblings announced their engagement to somebody they had known for 17months I would question as to if they were sure. It wouldn't mean I didn't like their parter at all but I would think it was fast and would want to talk about it.
That's my feeling on it, too. In fact, my brother and I have had a very similar conversation when he quite quickly announced his intention to remarry and there were some warning signs and red flags that everyone but him could see including some very, shall we say, concerning behaviors on the part of her family. He wasn't over the moon about our conversation but at the same time understood that I was trying very hard to spare him potential headaches in the future. Had he been very certain about his plans and explained them to me to calm my concerns I would have supported him whole-heartedly. However, not long after our conversation a few things happened which caused him to see exactly what we all saw and the marriage didn't move forward. To this day he'll tell you that he absolutely dodged a bullet. Sometimes the role of family is not to always play "no matter what cheerleader" but to be a calm head, a voice of reason, a step back and take a look advocate, etc. and I can absolutely see where William might have had a conversation with Harry in that regard. Not to try to dissuade Harry but to ask him if he was moving quickly because he was completely certain or if he was moving quickly because he wanted a marriage/wife/family so badly that he was putting on blinders to things that might have been concerning. I can see where it could have been a problem if William delivered it badly or a problem if Harry took it in a way that it was unintended or both. Again, we have no idea if the whole thing even happened, though I can't say I'd be overly surprised if it did considering that William's role is as the future monarch, the person who will need to consider all aspects and optics for the family, someone who himself benefited from a long relationship prior to marriage, someone who had seen what the media could do given any little thread to tug at.
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  #1408  
Old 08-13-2019, 02:19 PM
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Originally Posted by muriel View Post
I think quite a lot of us remember the stories just after the trip to Australasia. That there was "implication that the negativity came from a disgruntled family member who was leaking things to the press" was and remains pure speculation. I do not believe any credible information has come into the public domain since to prove otherwise.
I do not believe it nor am I implying such a thing-I read that speculation here on the Royal Forums.
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  #1409  
Old 08-13-2019, 02:20 PM
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Originally Posted by Pranter View Post
17 months is fast?

I think if you don't know by 6 months if the relationship is serious then you need to evaluate your process. By a year for sure you should know if this is someone you want to marry. Especially couples in their 30's who have had years of dating experience and life experience.


LaRae
In a normal relationship, no, probably not. In a high profile, royal relationship? Possibly, and if the conversation between William and Harry happened at all I can see a) why William might have expressed concern and b) why Harry may not have taken it well.

When Meghan came from such a totally different background than Harry, the concern may well have been along the lines of "Do both of you know what you are getting into" which from a certain perspective seems like a reasonable question for a sibling who will one day be king to ask.
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  #1410  
Old 08-13-2019, 02:33 PM
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Originally Posted by Ista View Post
I think "inconceivable" would fit this particular story fairly well, since it doesn't make anyone involved look good, especially Harry and William. A maid with her ear pressed to the door? That I could imagine, since there is plenty of precedent for that. Harry, Meghan, William or Kate? The mind boggles. It benefits none of them. Another family member who heard about the supposed confrontation? Why? Who would it serve?

While it might have happened, without some kind of evidence, it's no more credible than some of the other stories that have circulated.

Oh yes, I agree this story sounds like bad fanfiction. I was speaking more generally though.
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  #1411  
Old 08-13-2019, 02:37 PM
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William once described (on camera) a disagreement he'd had with his father as "lots of family shouting". They all fall out with each other, have rows, make up, have more arguments etc because they aren't robots. We hear about a tiny fraction of what goes on behind closed doors so for me, any reports about any particular rows need to be set in the context of a) we don't even know if the reports are true, exaggerated or fiction and b) there are other rows we know nothing about.
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  #1412  
Old 08-13-2019, 02:42 PM
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A royal reporter said a while back you have to be very careful about stories in the press regarding family dynamics. She said the royals are very circumspect around anyone outside their inner circle. So the number of people who would even be privy to this kind of information is not many.
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  #1413  
Old 08-13-2019, 02:52 PM
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A royal reporter said a while back you have to be very careful about stories in the press regarding family dynamics. She said the royals are very circumspect around anyone outside their inner circle. So the number of people who would even be privy to this kind of information is not many.
Do you know what she meant exactly by "careful"? Careful not to out your sources, or something else?
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  #1414  
Old 08-13-2019, 02:57 PM
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If I recall ‘careful’ in the context of validity. Basically don’t believe everything you read when it comes to family dynamics because the royals have learned from the past
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  #1415  
Old 08-13-2019, 02:59 PM
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Originally Posted by Ista View Post
In a normal relationship, no, probably not. In a high profile, royal relationship? Possibly, and if the conversation between William and Harry happened at all I can see a) why William might have expressed concern and b) why Harry may not have taken it well.

When Meghan came from such a totally different background than Harry, the concern may well have been along the lines of "Do both of you know what you are getting into" which from a certain perspective seems like a reasonable question for a sibling who will one day be king to ask.

IF this happened I don't think it would be unreasonable for family to say hey..are you sure? That wasn't part of my comments. My comments were more about the 'speed' factor.


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  #1416  
Old 08-13-2019, 03:03 PM
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Originally Posted by Pranter View Post
IF this happened I don't think it would be unreasonable for family to say hey..are you sure? That wasn't part of my comments. My comments were more about the 'speed' factor.


LaRae

LaRae
Yes, I understand, but my point was that speed is relative, especially when you are talking about someone from such a different background taking on all the nonsense that goes with royal life. From that perspective 17 months may indeed seem undesirably precipitous.

If any of that happened, which we have no way of knowing.
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  #1417  
Old 08-13-2019, 03:05 PM
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I think it was Victoria Murphy and she was commenting on the story about the Queen having words with Meghan.

A reporter asked her if she thought it was true and she said she didn’t write the story and you need to be careful about sources in a case like this.

If the Queen did have words with Harry or Meghan it would be hyper private. She wouldn’t do it in front of the kitchen staff.

Very, very few people would be in a position to know about it in the first place, let alone leak it.
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  #1418  
Old 08-13-2019, 03:54 PM
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Having been around on this planet as long as the Queen has reigned in the UK, I've come to believe certain things about interpersonal relationships with those that are loved ones whether family, friends or someone you just talk to every day at work and form a bond with.

Nobody ever gets along with each other perfectly 100% of the time. What do you call a married couple that never fight? Divorced. There are always going to be days when they look at each other (no matter *who* they are) and the statement "I love you but I really, really don't like you too much right now" is applicable. We have a lot of those kind of days here (of course going through a major surgery and having a lot of pain helps hubby to be an ornery old goat) and we have our moments but it clears the air and doesn't mean we don't love each other or aren't there for each other. Actually, sometime airing grievances does a lot to clear the air and releases tensions.

Welcome to the world of a burp heard around the world instantly and everybody and their pet iguana have theories on just what has caused the burp. Sometimes a burp is just a burp.
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  #1419  
Old 08-13-2019, 04:00 PM
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A few posts have been deleted. This thread isn’t about Meghan’s family or her coverage in the media. It also isn’t about the speed of Harry and Meghan’s relationship - you can take that conversation to their threads.

None of us truly know the relationships between members of the BRF, so there is of course going to be a bit of speculation that comes with discussing this topic, but let’s try to stick with factual based information and steer clear of the more fanciful types of gossip and speculation.
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  #1420  
Old 08-13-2019, 04:21 PM
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...I have had conversations with people I care about regarding significant others but I would never come at them in a way that is offensive. The way the story is presented makes it seem like William was a bit dismissive of them which caused Harry to be defensive to the point the men has a major falling out.

Now I agree with the posts upthread that is is likely 99% tabloid fodder with the lone 1% being a hint of a disagreement. Family is family. No one gets along all the time. You will have falling out. It is normal. Also these people are in different stages in their lives. They are in their mid to late 30, parents, and settling unto their royal roles while preparing for the future.

I feel people are projecting things on them mostly. There is just no way anyone could really be privy to this info unless they were physically there themselves. It is easy press clickbait.
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