Certainly in hindsight it seems obvious that Runcie's wedding address was written and delivered as a cautionary warning to Charles and Diana in pointing out the serious nature of matrimony and emphasizing what being married truly entails. It seems that Runcie was worried but also hopeful that they might both adjust to the marriage. Of course, we know now that even Diana was having second thoughts and reservations, but her sisters told her it was 'too late' to back out, humorously making reference to her face being on the 'tea towels.'
For Diana's grandmother, Lady Fermoy, to suggest that
"Diana would never be under control until she fell in love with someone," truly and harshly ignores the fact that Diana did believe she was in love. What she actually needed and as we now know, hopelessly hoped for, was that someone (indeed her husband) would love her back unconditionally! That's the stickler. Fermoy should have been more compassionate toward her granddaughter, Diana, and less accepting of Charles' infidelities. They all knew that Charles was in love with Camilla Parker Bowles and that he was 'depressed' over in essence being strong-armed to marry Diana, and do his duty!
Runcie looking down on Diana over a decade later and calling her an "actress and a schemer," is the classic case of 'blaming the victim.' Diana was essentially just out of teenage-hood. She was led down the St. Paul's Cathedral aisle like a lamb to the slaughter. It's not her fault that she had to weather the royal storm and to grow up isolated within the gilded cage of the British royal family. Certainly, she was not perfect, but who is? Diana did the best she could to survive and to find her own identity and to discover and embrace her womanhood, at the same time she was drowning in that antiquated system. She made mistakes, but I admire her for her empathy and compassion for others, and for fighting back and never succumbing to being abused, dismissed, and minimized.
There's been so much nonsense by RR and royal commentators these days about the importance of choosing monarchical duty over love. All the tragic evidence we've seen in the British royal family and most recently in the Belgian royal family suggests to me that sanity, love and personal happiness should come before blind and miserable submission to an ancient, unforgiving institution. BTW, my comments have nothing to do with Edward VIII's abdication. The Duke of Windsor was unsuited to be King. Far from being 'in love' with Wallis Simpson, he was pathetically obsessed with Wallis Simpson due to his own sad pathologies rooted in childhood abuse (by nannies) and neglect by his parents who although they loved their children, were unable to demonstrate and express their love.
It will be interesting to see how
The Crown seasons 4 and 5 will deal with the multi-layered and unforgettable story of Diana and her influence and impact on the royal family at that point in history. Since it is a dramatization, the production is bound to over-focus on some conflicts and to not necessarily get the gist and details of every occurrence exactly right.