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  #221  
Old 04-15-2005, 12:24 AM
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Originally Posted by ~*~Humera~*~
you're welcome!
I think many people, like you perhaps, would've been afraid of misunderstanding or offending someone or another by making such a strong statement. But I suppose Im bold enough to point out what's wrong and unfair because no one can dismiss my opinion by saying "oh you're a foreigner or you're not Muslim, so you dont understand" and because im not a born "westerner" (whatever that means!)
And this happens on this board often, which is why a lot of people are afraid of making legitimate arguments because they're afraid of offending.
But I think tolerance and political correctness has its limits, especially when one side doesnt respect dissenting opinions or disparages other peoples' opinions under the guise of "well this is my culture and I know better."
None of us live in a cave.

Ironic that you should bring this up...that is one of the reasons why I have deleted several of my posts in the past week. I didn't want to come off as offending anyone just because I am a westerner, but even still, I try to find some middle ground and fairness when I post...Yet unfortunately, I have decided not to discuss PH's marriage to Shk Mo out of fear that someone or other members would accuse me of attacking them, and those that have read my posts, know that is not what I am about.
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  #222  
Old 04-15-2005, 01:31 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sommone
Ironic that you should bring this up...that is one of the reasons why I have deleted several of my posts in the past week. I didn't want to come off as offending anyone just because I am a westerner, but even still, I try to find some middle ground and fairness when I post...Yet unfortunately, I have decided not to discuss PH's marriage to Shk Mo out of fear that someone or other members would accuse me of attacking them, and those that have read my posts, know that is not what I am about.
Thats too bad. A little bit of critical/constructive criticism and self-criticism never hurt anybody. But I understand where you're coming from. I've observed some members here apologize before asking certain questions because they're too afraid of offending someone. There are times when political correctness goes too far. Whats wrong or unjust is the same everywhere. There are certain values all human beings share no matter what culture they belong to. Tearing down someone's character and person for no apparent reason than jealousy or maliciousness is wrong no matter where any one lives. This discussion reminds me of something David Starkey, the British historian said, that second marriages are always controversial and give rise to strong feelings. Ofcourse, he was talking about Henry VIII and Anne Boleyn. But his point was that this issue has always been a difficult one, as it is today. Dont we all see it in the west too? Where people divorce and re-marry so often and when they do, camps tend to form around the concerned parties, like Charles and Diana.
So I think that Haya's marriage was bound to create a similar controversy. I was among those who were shocked that she'd marry some one much older, not very attractive, and already married. But I, like most of us, got over it. I had no idea that some people would take it so personally and go to such lengths to belittle Haya. Though by now I've learned that many of these arguments are based on little more than personal hatred and malice. So the problem is not Haya's or mine. And therefore we dont need to care for or take notice of anybody's personal biases. Thats a waste of time.

Quote:
Originally Posted by tipper
I agree, u're lucky as u are from both cultures, that's true, btw, I read, in a true story novel, that ppl from other ME countries , like Jordan ,Lebanon, etc. are being mistreated in KSA, so maybe it's the same in UAE, I'm starting to understand why they, I mean ppl who are from UAE, do hate Hayah so much, it's got nothing to do with her being his 2nd wife.....:) :) :)
Saudi Arabia isnt a very good example to hold up. That country doesnt tolerate dissent from anyone. As for mistreating non-Saudis, I've heard stories myself from people who've been there. Just as I have heard them about the Gulf.
Ofcourse discrimination exists everywhere, but not to that extent. I know some people wont like me saying it, but there's certainly an arrogance/superiority complex among some of the people in those regions. And it doesnt just have a social impact. Economically, the wealthier nations in the ME have done little to improve the lot of their less well-off Arab neighbours, least of all other Muslim nations (remember the tsunami?). One of my professors was talking about this in Islamic history class and I was appalled. But thats going completely off-topic...
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  #223  
Old 04-15-2005, 01:56 AM
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Humera I am from Gulf and I don't mistreating any one not from my country or feeling of superiority , I am sure that in my country there are people feel of superiority and maybe also there are people in your country feel of supriority .

and when I say some thing no one like it about Haya I don't say it because she not from gulf I say it because I think she love mo money more than love him it just my opinion and myabe I am wrong .
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  #224  
Old 04-15-2005, 02:14 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ~*~Humera~*~
So I think that Haya's marriage was bound to create a similar controversy. I was among those who were shocked that she'd marry some one much older, not very attractive, and already married. But I, like most of us, got over it. I had no idea that some people would take it so personally and go to such lengths to belittle Haya. Though by now I've learned that many of these arguments are based on little more than personal hatred and malice. So the problem is not Haya's or mine. And therefore we dont need to care for or take notice of anybody's personal biases. Thats a waste of time.

I agree...This is why I was thinking many of my posts were a counter balance of opinion, of course without being rude. I was completely amazed at some of the things that I was reading, and I just thought much of it was very unfair. I mean I have said time and time again that it doesn't matter to me whether or not members like Haya, but I think if you are going to be critical, be respectful about it. However, initially I just decided it might be better for me to refrain frpm the discussion of the topic all together. Now, I might reconsider and just not discuss it with certain members....
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  #225  
Old 04-15-2005, 06:47 AM
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Originally Posted by houri
I think she love mo money more than love him it just my opinion and myabe I am wrong .
yeah they have alot in common besides horses. cultural, education wise, lifestyle they are very, very similar. hell he even wrote a poem about it. 'i love you because you love my horses'.

sounds like true love to me.

also their disgustingly awkward grasps at looking 'happy' just don't seem to be genuine. every chance they get to display some normalcy in their relationship just ends up looking fake and forced.
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  #226  
Old 04-15-2005, 06:48 AM
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mo's poem about haya.

To the Equestrienne

Dear, when one inquires the night about me,
He’ll find out that my care comes from the night.

And that I love horses, my sweet concern,
The one who loves horses, I also love;

A knight, whose love of races worries me,
For whom I called out, wail, o wail-a-way!

Equestrienne, who’s not given to wishes,
For you I wish that luck be on your side.

So used to win, my trust has never failed,
Each time she comes out a hero acclaimed.

You wearied racing-steeds, I bear witness,
As every day you reach the target first.

World championship, listen to what I say
Is in your reach; you can and should achieve.

To championship accustomed, on them wage
A raid, like boisterous and torrential rain.
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  #227  
Old 04-15-2005, 04:39 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sommone
I might reconsider and just not discuss it with certain members....
Exactly. The silent treamtment's the way to go with some people
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  #228  
Old 04-16-2005, 12:49 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ~*~Humera~*~
my comment wasn't about you houri. Dont worry.
loooooooool I know that your comment wasn't about me personally
it was about people from my region so I was think to say in undirect way to not generalizing

I respect your opinion about my region even if I don't agree with you about your opinion :)
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  #229  
Old 04-16-2005, 03:15 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by houri
loooooooool I know that your comment wasn't about me personally
it was about people from my region so I was think to say in undirect way to not generalizing

I respect your opinion about my region even if I don't agree with you about your opinion :)
Its not about your entire region houri. I tried hard not generalize, which is why I keep saying "some of the people in those regions" (in post # 128):)
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  #230  
Old 04-16-2005, 06:13 PM
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Hi there,

In reference to the practice of polygamy, I had actually written a post on another thread speaking about my personal interpretation regarding the issue within an Islamic (as well as non-Islamic to a certain extent) context:

http://www.theroyalforums.com/forums/showthread.php?p=158986#post158986

Also from my personal viewpoint, the Quran clearly (and literally) points out that monogamy is the ideal while polygamy is an exception, since it only occurs under certain circumstances (and only if a man is able to treat all of his wives as equals i.e. spend an equal amount of time with each one of them - as was mentioned in another post on this thread). And again as stated within the above link, individual male Jews, Christians, Confucians and Hindus etc. have also interpreted their religions/cultures on a scriptural basis (whether in the past or in the present), as to allowing them to marry multiple women at the same time. Due to the prior fact, I find it quite silly that polygamy seems to “only” be associated with Islam by some people (especially in this day and age), while the practice is obviously pretty universal in nature and very much in reference to “multiple” religions and cultures (around the world) and not just one.

Secondly, I find that terms such as: Western world, Arab world and Muslim world (or even third world/illegal aliens) etc. stand for singling out and “alienating” certain geographic locations and/or individuals by labelling the prior as something so-called different and mysterious i.e. as “the other” (whether you live in the North, South, East or West). Considering that we are all human beings and live on the same planet, I personally believe that the proper terminology should be Western, Arab and Muslim (ruled) countries/societies (in this case). I doubt that most people who happen to use these terms intend to label certain regions, countries and/or its inhabitants in the previously spoken about manner, but I think that we should be careful regarding how we address places and people (regardless of the countries that they live in and/or are ethnically linked to). Btw, Japan, Hong Kong and Australia are also perceived as Western countries/regions, even though they are pretty much situated towards the “East” lol. :)

And lastly, I personally find it somewhat misleading when individuals who live in and/or are ethnically linked to various Middle Eastern, North African (and sometimes Central Asian) regions are labelled as “Arabs”, considering that Saudi Arabia is a country and not a continent. Yemen, Jordan, Syria and Egypt (Middle Eastern countries) for example can definitely be perceived as Arab countries by some, considering that all of them were once a part of Arabia at a given time in history. But Morocco, Libya and Algeria (North African countries) for example were never a part of Arabia (so I have heard/read … unless someone can prove me wrong), even though some Arab settlers definitely migrated to those countries in the past (those countries were not barren pre, during and post individual Arab settlement, since they definitely consisted of their own “indigenous” peoples).

So in other words, the practice of polygamy regarding motive can be interpreted differently by different people who are a part of multiple religions/cultures (this in reference to Princess Haya and Sheikh Muhammad – even though I personally do not agree with how both of them entered their marriage but that is just my personal viewpoint), SM did not travel to another planet/dimension when he visited “the West” and considering that PH is of Egyptian, Turkish, Palestinian and Jordanian descent, I personally do not believe that she is “Arab”, but again since all of the prior countries were once a part of Arabia (with the exception of Turkey), a person could definitely argue that she is.
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  #231  
Old 04-17-2005, 10:13 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Radhai
To the Equestrienne
its in Arabic , i mean the original
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  #232  
Old 04-17-2005, 10:40 AM
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I think this is "To the Equestrienne" in Arabic. It looks very concise in Arabic.

إلى الفارسة


يدري بأنّي كل هَمّي من الليل عزيزتي من يِسْأل الليل عَنّي وانّي أحب اللى حياته مَعَ الخيل وانّي أحب الخيل والخيل فَنّي ناديت له بالصوت يا ويل يا ويل فارس وحبّه للرمك مِشْغلنّي أنا اتمنّى لِكْ مع الحَظ تفضيل يا الفارسه لى ما تعَرْف التمنّي في كل مَرّه لْها بطوله وتبجيل مِتْعَوِّده عَ الفوز ما خاب ظَنّي لِكْ كل يومٍ في الصداره مواصيل أتعبتي أمهار الرمك يشهدنّي عندِكْ وْلِكْ قدره عليها وْتحصيل بطولة العالَم خِذِيْ القول مِنّي غاره عليهم مثلما هجمة السيل يا مْعَوِّده كسب البطولات شِنّي
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  #233  
Old 04-18-2005, 12:23 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by elizahawthorne
Please don't take this question the wrong way, I'm just wondering...there's a lot of talk in Muslim/Islamic communities of unity, yet a lot of times I hear more of such sentiments as we are Arabs, why not we are Muslims? I mean why do a lot of Arabs put more importance on being Arab than they d on being Muslim? And I really don't mean to lump everyone together, but I've heard this kind of sentiment from a lot of Arabs and I can't seem to understand the reason behind it. Please don't take offense to my question, remember, I'm an ignorant westerner, who is not well versed in cultural practices of other people, but I'm asking questions to try and understand.
Quote:
Originally Posted by elizahawthorne



-Eliza
Hi Eliza,

I believe that I have the answer(s) to your question (although I hope that it has not already been answered considering that I did not read this entire thread). There are three factors behind why some "Arabs" (as individuals who are inclusive of any given ethnicity) tend to place more emphasis on nationalism as opposed to religiosity: (a) Islam originally arose in Mecca, Saudi Arabia (so as was mentioned in a previous post, there is a "we are the chosen people" complex going on for some "Arabs"); (b) individual past Middle Easterners were responsible for colonialism and/or spreading their sphere of influence (linguistically, culturally and religiously to a certain extent) within multiple regions, territories and countries on a pretty large scale (many Muslims who are of North African, Central Asian, South Asian and Southeast Asian descent have Arab names, although what I find interesting is that some Russian Muslims (through ethnicity) have Russian names as opposed to the former); and (c) after both World Wars, individual European colonialism and especially the Israel/Palestine issue, "Arab" unity arose for some Middle Easterners (ethnicity wise) whether they were Jewish, Christian or Muslim etc.

But if you look at Hindu individuals who especially live in India (as well as in other parts of the world), they (somewhat) similarly place extremely large emphasis on a combination between their nationality and religion. So some Hindus of Indian descent would probably never accept a Hindu of Sri Lankan descent (probably even vice versa), as a friend and/or even a potential future mate/spouse. And just as in my first example, considering that Hinduism originally arose in India, there is a strong ethnic "chosen people" complex going on for some practitioners of the faith … even though some Hindus/South Asians are an ethnic mix of Iranians and the original indigenous peoples of present day India/South Asia, who were blacks lol (along with Greek, Turkish, Afghani, Mongol, Middle Eastern and/or British roots as well).

The same goes for Confucian/Taoist individuals of Chinese descent. Considering that the former two philosophies primarily arose in China, perhaps some individuals who are ethnically tied to the former country have a “chosen people” superiority complex as well and would never accept a non-Chinese Confucian/Taoist through ethnic descent.

As for spreading names associated with a specific language and widespread colonialism, the same occurred with individual British and French colonialism within parts of Africa, Indo-China, Japan and Australia etc. And to be fair, almost every country on earth has consisted of ethnic nationalism and/or the "rejection" of "outsiders" at one time or another, so lets not single out individuals of Middle Eastern descent.

What I find funny is that no (or almost no) ethnicity/race or culture is “pure” considering that all throughout time, with wars came colonialism and with colonialism came interracial relationships/marriages and the combining of cultures (although not all of them necessarily came through imperialistic means). Yet since the beginning of creation and even in this day and age, there seems to be large emphasis on frowning upon ethnic mixing between people of different races for some (regardless of their racial/religious background), especially when it comes to relationships and/or marriage. I myself am of Pakistani descent, but some of my ancestors were of Afghani, Turkish and Iranian origin as well.

I have some family members as well as some friends but not all (who are btw of different ethnicities, cultures and religions), who would prefer a companion/spouse who shares a similar background as themselves in regards to the three prior factors, not because they claim to be “racist” or "prejudiced", but because they mainly want to preserve their cultures (especially linguistically) and believe that they would be more comfortable around someone who shares a “similar outlook on life” as themselves. In the end, for some it comes down to the survival of one's ethnicity and/or culture through population (i.e. the more the better). Although I believe that the preservation of one’s culture is important to a certain extent, a child can definitely inhibit qualities of two or more different cultures while growing up (that of both of his/her parents) as well. Also, if a person happens to marry an “outsider” that does not mean that they are in any way rejecting their culture. I as Humera am very proud of my roots and the cultural values that I grew up with, but if ever happen to marry a man who is not of Pakistani descent such as myself, I would prefer if the both of us integrated aspects of our cultures within the marriage and/or upon our kids (shivers @ kids lol).

So in conclusion we should not single out a specific regional group as to consisting of certain qualities and Princess Haya's or even Sheikh Muhammad's ethnicities should not be an issue (especially within an Islamic/religious context). Alrighty, I just wanted to give some input in reference to the original question and hopefully this post will not lead to any more of the bitter words that I read in certain previous postings on this thread.
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  #234  
Old 04-18-2005, 03:56 AM
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Thank you lovy_bear for posting your views on the subject, I do like to hear from different ppl in response to my posts because everyone brings something different to the table, a different prepective, a different view, a different preception...and all of these combined can help shape my own views...the more people respond to my posts the more diverse my own view becomes...and I certainly welcome that wholeheartedly--tho in the end I claim sovreignty over my own views.

-Eliza
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  #235  
Old 04-18-2005, 04:00 AM
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Yu make many interesting points of view. I have often wondered if at the end of the day, people from the Indian sub-continent are Punjabi, Bengali, or whatever their ethnic grouping is, first, and Muslim, Hindu or Sikh, second. Recently, there have been many articles about the close links between Indians and Pakistanis, and how people have taken advantage of being able to visit their former homes, families and friends during the past few months as a result of the cricket matches that have been taking place between the two countries. It is easy to say now, nearly sixty years later, and this is not the place to discuss this issue, but it would appear that there should have been another solution to the problems of the sub-continent other than the division of people who have lived side by side forever.



I am interested to see what you say here, about how you would hope to fuse some of your cultural heritage with that of your future, maybe not Pakistani spouse, and think this was the same feelings that were behind Princess Sarvath keeping to some aspects of her culture, which has been criticised by some people. I personally do not see why she would have appeared more Arab by wearing an evening dress for formal occasions rather than a sari. One is totally alien, the other was at least her native dress. I have also seen pictures of her daughters’ marriages, and again, I do not see that Princesses Rahma and Sumaya looked particularly Arab in their white wedding dresses and I was pleased so see that for part of the ceremonies they also wore traditional Indian/Pakistani bridal clothes. It is only someone who is either lacking in self-confidence or for some personal reason would want to deny their own ethnicity who would completely turn their back on their own cultural background. In my book, that sort of person would have other hang-ups which would also make their suitability to cope with marriage into a demanding family situation problematic.
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  #236  
Old 04-18-2005, 04:09 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by shelley
It is only someone who is either lacking in self-confidence or for some personal reason would want to deny their own ethnicity who would completely turn their back on their own cultural background. In my book, that sort of person would have other hang-ups which would also make their suitability to cope with a demanding position doubtful.
I have to disagree with you on that shelley, I think there may be other reasons why someone turns their back on their own ethnicity and culture. I think that while you should keep in touch with your own culture, traditions, and ethnicity when you marry someone of a different culture, traditions, and ethnicity than yourself, you should also adopt your spouse's culture, traditions and ethnicity. There's nothing wrong in keeping a mixture of both, tho in part I agree with you, one should certainly not completely turn their back on one's own identity, but one should be flexible enough to adopt one's spouse's identity as well, there has to be a way one can and should balance both identitites. A combination of two different cultures, traditions, and ethinicities only increases diversity and that is always a good thing.

-Eliza
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  #237  
Old 04-18-2005, 11:05 AM
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I just wanted to make some corrections in regards to my previous post, that I once again wrote around midnight (as I have with a couple of my other messages on this site in the past lol) ... so please forgive me for any errors on my part. I agree with eliza and shelly, whatever I wrote was partially a fact and partially my personal viewpoint. Secondly, when I wrote the following: "... (c) after both World Wars, individual European colonialism and especially the Israel/Palestine issue, "Arab" unity arose for some Middle Easterners (ethnicity wise) whether they were Jewish, Christian or Muslim etc.," I was particularly speaking about individual European colonialism in parts of the Middle East which eventually gave rise to strong "Arab" nationalism in modern times. And lastly, when I wrote this specific phrase: "Also, if a person happens to marry an “outsider” that does not [necessarily] mean that they are in any way rejecting their culture," I forgot to add the captioned word i.e. "necessarily". A person can most definitely have a relationship with, marry and/or have children with a person simply to deny themselves of their own race and/or the cultural values that they grew up with, but my point was that this is not "always" the case as some people tend to believe.

Quote:
Originally Posted by elizahawthorne
I think that while you should keep in touch with your own culture, traditions, and ethnicity when you marry someone of a different culture, traditions, and ethnicity than yourself, you should also adopt your spouse's culture, traditions and ethnicity.


In reference to this idea, I personally believe that a person does not necessarily have to adopt aspects of their spouse's culture(s) in order to be tolerant/keep a happy marriage. A person can remain completely devout to one's own "identity", but still be respectful and tolerant towards their spouse's cultural values as well. I think that the most important action to partake within an interracial/intercultural marriage is to especially instil both cultural values within one's children, if a couple does not adopt aspects of each other's heritage themselves (such as language, food, clothing etc.). When it comes to inter-religious marriages, then it gets a little too complicated for many people, considering that it would be difficult for a person or even their child(ren) to claim that he/she is a follower of two given religions (mainly if both faiths do not acknowledge one another through one's personal interpretation). Anyway, when it comes to this point, factors such as the strength of a person's religiosity have to come into context. On many levels for some people, culture is not as important as religion, since while the prior does not necessarily consist of a Scripture, the former usually does. So what mainly occurs in the case of an inter-religious relationship/marriage (or even inter-sectarian to a certain degree) is that both individuals decide to break up, one person converts to the other's religion/sect or both people get married but remain faithful to their own separate religious beliefs (allowing their children to grow up with no specific faith-based affiliation, aspects of both religions' beliefs or simply elements of one of them). Considering that this post/discussion is pretty off topic at the moment, I will press the breaks and park the car lol. :o (Thanks for the responses btw)
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  #238  
Old 04-18-2005, 01:56 PM
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Adopting a spouse's culture isn't really necessary, in my opinion, but respecting it is mandatory. Just because we don't understand or didn't grow up in a certain culture, doesn't mean it is beneath ours or doesn't deserve as much respect as we give our own.

It was curious to note that in the Western publications, they never refer to Haya as the second wife of Sheik Mo. Maybe it wouldn't reflect well on Haya that the "progressive" woman that she is is the second wife of a crown prince with his first wife still married to him..
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  #239  
Old 04-19-2005, 12:46 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lovy_bear
why would “the rejected” need their “approval”? Rather than pining over the idea and/or a specific person(s), individuals should just go and find someone who does love and “accept” them. Not all people who belong to a specific community are each other’s property.
I agree but we are talking about a ruler not talking about simple person
the ruler and the house of the ruler effect on the life of the ordinary people
as I understand there are laws here in gulf don't help people to marry from outside the country
example if a person want to join to the army or to the diplomatic job he can't if his mother is foreign but in the same time the ruler can rule the whole country even if his wife is from another country and have another nationality !
and there is another point I want to talk about , a lot of marriages here in gulf do not establish on ( love story ) but on interests or people marries who they believe sharing with them the believes and the culture and the style of the life .
And in the end every one have his or her reason I just say the marriage here don't establish just on love but more than that I am not sure why but it is the fact here and I am just telling you .

by the way here in kuwait the oldest son of the Amir of kuwait married to british woman so he don't have any rule and he don't appear in any public event .
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  #240  
Old 04-19-2005, 08:29 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by houri
I agree but we are talking about a ruler not talking about simple person
the ruler and the house of the ruler effect on the life of the ordinary people
as I understand there are laws here in gulf don't help people to marry from outside the country
example if a person want to join to the army or to the diplomatic job he can't if his mother is foreign but in the same time the ruler can rule the whole country even if his wife is from another country and have another nationality !
and there is another point I want to talk about , a lot of marriages here in gulf do not establish on ( love story ) but on interests or people marries who they believe sharing with them the believes and the culture and the style of the life .
And in the end every one have his or her reason I just say the marriage here don't establish just on love but more than that I am not sure why but it is the fact here and I am just telling you .
Hi houri,

I was actually talking about the concept that I outlined in my previous post on a general basis (not specifically in relation to the political system in parts of the Gulf region, regarding interracial relationships/marriage or its citizenry). As for rulers of (certain) countries marrying someone who isn’t a part of their community on an ethnic/cultural basis, I personally don’t find that there’s anything wrong with that, just as I don’t find that there’s anything wrong with a person marrying someone who is a part of their own community as well (regardless of their status, especially on a class basis in this case). I believe in the prior idea, considering that a leader’s spouse wouldn’t necessarily use their status to influence the citizenry in a “bad” way, through perhaps “different” social, cultural and political means, if that’s what you meant by the ruler and his/her mate having an impact on individuals within the prior’s society through many of their actions.

In reference to certain supposed laws in the Gulf which allow a ruler (and/or the person’s ethnically mixed child(ren)) to marry an “outsider” and keep their status, (especially through occupation means) while it isn’t the same for a “commoner”, I actually never knew that that law existed and don’t agree with it one bit (I never acknowledged the law, nor did I state that I agreed with it in my former post). Again from my personal viewpoint, I believe that a person (whatever their ethnicity, culture, status, occupation etc. is) should be able to marry whomever they want (whether a local from their ethnic/cultural community or not-as long as they do it for the right reasons and not for status ideals or certain stereotypical views (whether good or bad), that they have of most or all of the members within the ethnic/cultural group of the person that they’re marrying or are already married to).

As for your last comment, whether a person gets married through an arranged marriage or not (and this generally speaking and not specifically in relation to the practices of some members within the Gulf region in regards to choosing a spouse), they can still eventually fall in love with each other in the end, meaning that an “arranged marriage” can very well (and many times does) evolve into a “love marriage” for some people (even though many individuals who wed through a “love marriage” can eventually fall out of the feeling). Also there are different types of arranged marriages (but I don’t want to get into that right now). If what you actually meant was that some Gulf citizens place more emphasis on cultural values within a potential future spouse than on love, I don’t believe that the two concepts (cultural values and love) have to necessarily be separate and not joint. A person (regardless of their background) could very well find certain qualities in a person (whether cultural nor not) attractive or appealing, which would make them fall in love with the person (whether in the present time i.e. pre-marriage or in the future i.e. post marriage).

Anyway, what I meant to say by the above quote was that, rather than becoming angry and upset (or even jealous in some cases) over a person who is a part of a given ethnic/cultural community being in a relationship with an “outsider”, a person (who is a part of the same cultural group as the prior) should move on and find and/or concentrate on their own mate (i.e. find (or concentrate on) someone who will (or already does) love and care about them on a relationship basis). The point that I was trying to make was that some anti-interracial people (especially in regards to ethnically mixed relationships/marriages by individual members of their own community), shouldn’t get all possessive over the so-called rejecter and shouldn’t base their self-worth (especially through ethnic means) based on who some of the members of the opposite gender within their cultural group, decide to and/or prefer to marry in regards to race (unless off course as you earlier mentioned, there are certain social, cultural and political inequalities within a specific region in reference to certain practices i.e. status/occupation, marriage and interracial relationships/marriage in this case).
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