Marriage Customs of the Ruling Family

[ZuluPrincess]

It is not really bad. But we love our traditions. It is acceptable in the eyes of many Emiratis when he marries a Muslim. But I think that an official marriage with a non-muslim would be difficult for the wife. Sometimes the sheikh more than one wife. Do you believe that a Christian woman would accept that? If the couple has children, then these Muslims and would grow in that faith. Can a Christian or Jewish woman do this?

We have a saying in Arabic: The stranger is blind, although he can see. This explains that for a non-emiraty it would be very difficult to come to terms with our traditions unconditionally. And just this absolute respect and acceptance of our traditions for the future wife of a CP is very important if she want to exist in our society.

That is absolutely correct. I think his first official wife will be a UAE national or at least an Arab Mulim. That will be good for the future of our country. Should he marry more women unofficially, it does not matter where those come from or what religion they have. This is his personal private matter only.

Greetings Iman,

What is your take on a marriage between HH Sheikh Hamdan and a Zulu Princess (Christian, of course)? Obviously the bride would have to adjust, but would the population tolerate it?

[CalifornianLady]

It is true that it can be very difficult for outsiders to understand Emirati or other Arab countries' customs. For example, would someone give me a definition of an "unofficial" wife? What rights does she have? Can she initiate a divorce? Can she own her own property? Does she have rights to inherit a portion of her husband's estate when he dies? What rights to support does she have if her husband divorces her? Does she have a right to keep her children with her? Do they have rights of inheritance? In what way do the "unofficial" wives rights, duties and responsibilities differ from those of the "official" wives? This is definitely an area where there is likely to be a great deal of misunderstanding on the part of non-Muslims and/or non-Arabs.

[Akilah]

An official wife of a sheikh or Arab prince would be a Muslim. An unofficial wife may have the option to convert or not to convert, if she is not already a Muslim. If she is aboard, it may not be an issue, but if she is living within the respective country, she will have to convert and the children will be raised as Muslims within the country.

The likelihood of an official wife being a non-Muslim is not plausible. A Christian, Hindu, Buddhist, or Catholic would have to convert and learn the tradition and social/cultural norms to exist within the social constructs of a Muslim society. It would be very challenging for a non-Muslim to adjust, especially if they are use to (acclimated to) Western norms.

Originally Posted by CalifornianLady

It is true that it can be very difficult for outsiders to understand Emirati or other Arab countries' customs. For example, would someone give me a definition of an "unofficial" wife? What rights does she have? Can she initiate a divorce? Can she own her own property? Does she have rights to inherit a portion of her husband's estate when he dies? What rights to support does she have if her husband divorces her? Does she have a right to keep her children with her? Do they have rights of inheritance? In what way do the "unofficial" wives rights, duties and responsibilities differ from those of the "official" wives? This is definitely an area where there is likely to be a great deal of misunderstanding on the part of non-Muslims and/or non-Arabs.

To answer your questions:

An unofficial wife would not have any official/public role other than "private wife." In the event of a divorce, the wife may be given a settlement or she might not. If it is an amicable split, she may get a nice settlement. As for children, it depends on the sheikh or prince (look at the Sultan of Brunei, his children with the second wife, whom he divorced, they live in London primarily with their mother). If the sheikh/prince wants his children to remain with him in his country, the woman probable would not get primary custody of the children. She would have to come visit or she not have access to her children at all.

In the event that sheikh/prince dies and there are official wives, they would be provide for first and their offspring, unless, the sheikh/prince has made provisions before his death, you might be out of luck.

[NGalitzine]

What is the difference between an "unofficial wife" and a mistress or concubine? I assume that these unofficial wives are in addition to the 4 wives a Muslim man can have at the same time. Do official wives 1-4 have equal status or is it better to be wife #1 than wife #4?

[Akilah]

Originally Posted by NGalitzine

What is the difference between an "unofficial wife" and a mistress or concubine? I assume that these unofficial wives are in addition to the 4 wives a Muslim man can have at the same time. Do official wives 1-4 have equal status or is it better to be wife #1 than wife #4?

An unofficial wife is is a women whom a sheikh or prince has married but he has not announced the union. It would be the same as getting married but not announcing in a newspaper or sending formal announcements associates/friends/co-workers.

No, unofficial wives are included in the 4 wives that a Muslim man is allowed to have according to the Quran. All wives are to be treated equally. However, that is not allows the case. For example, Sheikh Mohammad of the UAE has acknowledged Shiekha Hind and Princess Haya, but he has not acknowledged the union he had with Maitha and Christina's mother.

[LV_GiRL]

I respect the UAE traditions and culture. However, i believe that it is inevitable for the whole world to go through changes and modernization and UAE not be affected by it. Wether the UAE people like it or not change will come. I have emirate friends and i was actually speaking to one of my friends and she said that emirate people are actually changing their views on having multiple wives. Especially with this economy, everyone i mean literally the whole world has been affected by it and we all know that the bigger your family is the more $ you spend. I believe that things are changing even if its slowly but things are changing in the UAE society. It's IMPOSSIBLE to stay the same with all respect to my emirate brothers and sisters.

[Imanmajed]

Originally Posted by LV_GiRL

I respect the UAE traditions and culture. However, i believe that it is inevitable for the whole world to go through changes and modernization and UAE not be affected by it. Wether the UAE people like it or not change will come. I have emirate friends and i was actually speaking to one of my friends and she said that emirate people are actually changing their views on having multiple wives. Especially with this economy, everyone i mean literally the whole world has been affected by it and we all know that the bigger your family is the more $ you spend. I believe that things are changing even if its slowly but things are changing in the UAE society. It's IMPOSSIBLE to stay the same with all respect to my emirate brothers and sisters.

Thank you for your openness my european sister. Of course, our society is changing steadily in the UAE as well as all forms of society constantly changing in the world. Society is not static. Many Sheikhs have more than one wife at the same time. But the normal local in more than 80% of cases have only one wife. There is nothing so that all Emirati men have two, three or four wives. The possibility of several women comes from the Quran. But there is this from the religion of clear rules, under which circumstances this is possible. One of them is that they all women in the same way has to supply. This means you must have, of course, a good financial status. It therefore does not change the tradition - you have the opportunity to marry several women continue- but only the financial situation of individuals prevented such multible marriage.

[Isotta]

My husband once observed, "In the West we are polygamous, too, only we have one spouse at a time, get rid of them and take another. So we practice serial polygamy."

[ZuluPrincess]

Greetings,

What are your thoughts of a marriage between HH Sheikh Hamdan or his brothers with African Royalty, say HRH Princess Sikhanyiso Dlamini of Swaziland or HRH Princess Nandi Zulu of the Zulu nation? Would she be an "official" wife or an "unofficial wife"?

Thank you for your openness my european sister. Of course, our society is changing steadily in the UAE as well as all forms of society constantly changing in the world. Society is not static. Many Sheikhs have more than one wife at the same time. But the normal local in more than 80% of cases have only one wife. There is nothing so that all Emirati men have two, three or four wives. The possibility of several women comes from the Quran. But there is this from the religion of clear rules, under which circumstances this is possible. One of them is that they all women in the same way has to supply. This means you must have, of course, a good financial status. It therefore does not change the tradition - you have the opportunity to marry several women continue- but only the financial situation of individuals prevented such multible marriage.

I believe that polygamy is a personal choice, though I would not get involved in a polygamous relationship. Does the culture or religion and the law in the UAE require that a man seek his wife's permission to take a second wife? This is the case in South Africa according to culture and law. In fact, Nelson Mandela's grandson Chief Mandla Mandela of the Madiba clan has had one of his marriages annulled, another interdicted from taking place and is also facing bigamy charges as he did not have the consent of his first wife who he his currently in the process of divorcing. See this thread for more: Royalty of South Africa

Is this the same in UAE? Do the bride or the family have a say in whether or not additional wives are taken?

[Imanmajed]

Originally Posted by ZuluPrincess

Greetings,

Is this the same in UAE? Do the bride or the family have a say in whether or not additional wives are taken?

Before the marriage the bride or her family must take up the marriage contract can be or not. The bride may also prohibit in the marriage contract a other marriage with another woman. If neither is the case, the man can without the consent of the first wife marry a second wife.

[Imanmajed]

Originally Posted by Isotta

My husband once observed, "In the West we are polygamous, too, only we have one spouse at a time, get rid of them and take another. So we practice serial polygamy."

yes. Seen a lot of practice this......

[ZuluPrincess]

Thank you Imanmajed.

I would like for HH Sheikh Hamdan to marry a South African girl!

[Patra]

Originally Posted by Imanmajed

Before the marriage the bride or her family must take up the marriage contract can be or not. The bride may also prohibit in the marriage contract a other marriage with another woman. If neither is the case, the man can without the consent of the first wife marry a second wife.

Interesting, I did no know that! Thank you for enlightening me-

[Imanmajed]

Originally Posted by Patra

Interesting, I did no know that! Thank you for enlightening me-

You're welcome, you're welcome.
I see there are a lot of interest as ours will be married in the UAE. If someone wants to know how a traditional wedding is created that can write like me. If many want to know, I can tell here in the forum.

[ZuluPrincess]

Do the princes of Dubai need their family's approval over their choice of bride?

Originally Posted by LallaSuhana11

Ruling Families in the Gulf generally keep their personal lives private and the women usually live a low key life away from the glare of the press.

Sheikh Mansour married Sheikha Manal as his second wife. As mentioned previously in this thread, I agree that Sheikh Mansour must have married for love largely because he wouldn't leave his other wife otherwise with whom he has one son, Zayed. With Manal he has 3 children now, Sheikh Mohammed, Sheikha Fatima, Sheikh Hamdan.


I would like to agree on this post. The older generations of Sheikhs, like Sheikh Zayed Bin Sultan Al Nahyan, married women from Bedouin Tribes who had a high standing in society. Although it is absolutely compulsory that a Sheikha must marry a Sheikh, Shamsa (if she is married) would be the exception, as her reputation was damaged. In terms of Sheikh marrying a Sheikha, it is a requirement, but the Sheikhs are allowed to marry women from presitigious families in the UAE as well.

Have they married non-Emirati royals before (except Sheikh Mohammed)?

[Isotta]

Originally Posted by Imanmajed

You're welcome, you're welcome.
I see there are a lot of interest as ours will be married in the UAE. If someone wants to know how a traditional wedding is created that can write like me. If many want to know, I can tell here in the forum.

I bet a lot of us would like to know that, please do share.

[Imanmajed]

Originally Posted by ZuluPrincess

Do the princes of Dubai need their family's approval over their choice of bride?

We find it very important, such a decision with our family's approval to be made. Imagine if we, or the sons of the ruler Sheikh, this would not do. What is the status of this couple would be in a society where one's family and the tribe are still the most important thing?

And so of course, the young Sheikhs and Sheikhas need their familys approval over their choice.

Originally Posted by ZuluPrincess

Have they married non-Emirati royals before (except Sheikh Mohammed)?

A Sheikha not necessarily married a Sheikh always. But would she and the children from a marriage with a non Sheikh then have to give up much of what would otherwise be entitled to them. The children would not carry the title of Sheikh or Sheikha. A woman needs to feel a lot of love for a man to do so.

Yes, a few Sheikhs are married to women from other Arab royalty.

Originally Posted by Isotta

I bet a lot of us would like to know that, please do share.

I will keep the promise on Thursday evening - then we start our weekend - and tell you more of the initiation of a marriage in my country. Right now I have yet to do a translation job for another forum participant. I am proud to be able to report on Thursday evening about our marriages im UAE.

[ZuluPrincess]

What would be the implications (if any) if CP Hamdan married an 'unofficial' wife who is not a relative as his ONLY wife. Would this impact on his honour within his family and Dubai? Is it mandatory that he marry an official wife (Emirati or Sheikha)?

[Imanmajed]

Originally Posted by ZuluPrincess

What would be the implications (if any) if CP Hamdan married an 'unofficial' wife who is not a relative as his ONLY wife. Would this impact on his honour within his family and Dubai? Is it mandatory that he marry an official wife (Emirati or Sheikha)?

He is free to marry at all times both an official and an unofficial wedding. When he married unofficially, that not hurt his reputation or his honor in his family in any way. And it isn `t mandatory that he must marry an official wife. But I think,
that it is important for HH Sheikh Hamdan, especially before an official marriage, to enlist the advice of his family and to respect the wishes of the family.

Because it is a great interest of many, as in our marriages are traditionally initiated in the UAE, here's a little insight.

PART I: First of all, in advance: there are now different ways of initiating a marriage here in the UAE. Many of the marriages but still paved in the traditional way. This path is for the two young people no compulsion exerted by the family, but is rather a kind of "advisory route" in a marriage. Some people in the West misunderstand this tradition and believe it is a forced marriage. This is not right. Both, the young man wishing to marry and the chosen one bride, at every stage of the process in initiating have the opportunity to express their will. Also a NO from one side (bride or groom) is accepted by the families.

What is the first step into a traditional emirati marriage? When a young man who wishes to marry, he shall notify his mother. The mother will listen carefully to the wants and needs of her son. Finally, they will tell him that she will ask around to family in which young women of marriageable age are complying with the wishes of the son. For their "investigations" can itself be active, or another trusted person to ask you to do the job. First, you look into their own family (cousins​​), then with friends, in their own tribe and in the neighborhood. And then been located in ever wider circles, until a young woman who could meet the needs of the Son.

Part II: If a young lady been identified, the family of the young man gets information about the young lady. How is her character, what properties she has, what kind of education she have, what is her reputation, what personal goals she have, what she has for interests and hobbies..... When answering these questions is positive for the family, a woman is sent (eg the aunt or the mother of the young man) to the family of the young lady. There, the mother of the young woman's search for a wife for his son announced, and also the fact that they chose for this daughter here. The mother (or their representative) of the young man will look at the young women live. She pays particular on the behavior of the young woman in the presence of others. If everything is positive, the mothers from the young man and the young lady want to talk this topic with their husbands.

And than, please wait... Tomorrow, the report continued with part III. :-)

[Imanmajed]

Hello at all,

Today I coninued with part III: Now is the family of the young women to inform themselves about the potential bridegroom for his daughter and to make inquiries about him. Also, they will therefore answer the same questions about him looking for: How is his character, what properties he has, what kind of education he have, what is his reputation, what he have personal goals, what he has for interests and hobbies, has he is already married other women or even married to them? And .. so on.

If all answers good for the family of the young lady, will the families meet again and continue to discuss it. If it is agreed that the two families agree to the combination of the two, we will inaugurate the young man and young woman. Only then a formal contact will be initiated between the families. If both families agree to a potential partnership, the two “candidates” will be asked their opinion. And only if both agree, they will be formally introduced and meet in the presence of some relatives. Only after this meeting and only with agreement of bride and groom-to-be will the engagement and marriage be arranged. The engagement period is very short. No longer than 3-6 months in most cases. 9-12 months or longer is very rare.


The father or guardian of the bride and the groom sign the marriage contract in the presence of the religious leader and the witnesses – and like this, the marriage is formally acknowledged. Usually a few weeks after this, there will be separate celebrations for the men and the women. The groom will usually host more of a reception-style party, where relatives and friends – and in case of members of the royal families national and international dignitaries – will come to congratulate. For the bride usually a lavish “ladies-only” party will be held. The groom (accompanied by the closest male family members) will usually come in the late hours of the evening to the party of the women, to greet his bride, meet the well-wishers and then take his wife with him. In addition, there are different traditions of the tribes. In my tribe it is common that only in the home of the bride's family the bride officially handed over to the groom. Bride and groom after the wedding celebrations live for a maximum of seven days together with the bride's family. The young bride is to be used in the first days of her marriage to the new feel and get more a lot of support from their mother in the early days . Later than the seventh day, the bride gives her consent, then, in the house of her husband's family (and now often in their own home) to go. There she received by the groom's family warmly and welcomed. It was only after three-five days, then starts again until the regular daily routine.

Is there a difference in royal weddings?

No. Basically royal weddings are nothing more than other weddings when it comes to the formalities. But the main difference is that our royal families, because of their tribal background, definitely consider the importance of tying the knot with other royal members from other Emirates or other royal families from neighbouring sheikdoms to strengthen their political position; also to strengthen the relationships between both royal families and the countries for the future. This is something that existed in most royal weddings around the world and not just here in the UAE. But having said that, there is also the regular royal weddings which consist of a sheikh from royal family “x” to a “y“ sheikha from another Emirati royal family or from a well known tribe from the UAE. So a mix of both do exist.

A royal wedding might see more guests, but even the most “humble” local wedding will not see less than 300 guests. Of course, the budget of the couple will determine location and menu, not their status.

Is a marriage ceremony to a second wife different?

No. Even though a Muslim man can marry up to four wives, if he has valid reasons and is convinced that he can support and treat his wives with equal care and attention, multiple marriages here in the UAE are the exception, not the norm. The formal ceremony is exactly the same: signing the contract in the presence of a sheikh and the witnesses. Parties are at the discretion of the couple and they can range from absolutely nothing to a lavish celebration.

Are there prenuptials in the Gulf States?

We don’t have official prenuptial agreements in Islam, therefore a country like the UAE that implements Sharia Law won’t approve a prenuptial agreement. But what we do have is a Sharia Law marriage agreement which automatically entitles the woman, after getting married and God forbid she gets a divorce, to alimony to support her as well as any children. The custom from many men, when they divorce, is to leave their house to their wife along with the children for convenience. Here it is customary that the groom gives the bride the so-called “dowry”, this is an amount of money or wealth for her to have as a financial backup. This is completely hers and she is free to use this as she wishes. However, in our Islamic Sharia Law, as well as our culture, it is entirely the responsibility of the man to take care of his wife and to share his wealth with her.