Sarah, Duchess of York Current Events 16: January-May 2011

[Dymphna]

They (Sarah and Andrew) are co-dependent on one another and-I think-at this point it has very little to do with love but need. I am not saying the love is not there but I am saying that this is not what's driving it anymore.

I was horrified to hear Sarah tell Oprah that Andrew consoled her by saying, "Just remember, we had such a good day. Our wedding was so perfect." That really felt like a big red flag to me. I mean, they are divorced. It just doesn't make sense to me.

She said, "He made me feel very part of the day on April the 29th."

I think you hit the nail on the head--Co-dependency big-time. It sounds like the family walks on egg shells around her to avoid upsetting her.

 

[Russophile]

.
Such a wise head you have Russo.

Careful! You'll be giving Russo a BIG Head!

(Like Zonk and Warren need THAT headache! )

On another note everyone seems to be assuming Sarah was doing all the ringing on the morning of the wedding, but for all we know it could be Andrew ringing her.

Good point. I hadn't thought of that.

 

[Russophile]

Yes, I think Andrew likes to feel needed. But is that a sign of insecurity, or a just a normal human need? We want to be needed by people, because we need them, too. I think that's how real friendships work, and we know Andrew and Sarah are friends. Now if Andrew really did see Sarah as an immature child, he could step in and lecture her about her misbehaviour like a parent.

IMO, he did by calling her his 3rd child on his brithday.

But deep down I think Andrew and Sarah's relationship is pretty mutual. He may see her immature qualities, but he needs her, too, so he will never say or do anything that could alienate her from him. He takes her calls...because he wants to.

True dat!

Now that being said, since Andrew, Beatrice and Eugenie all need Sarah, they will never be the ones to step in and tell her that she needs to change. People like Oprah won't either (I think they're the true enablers). So who will?

This is the tricky part. Sarah is doing damage to Sarah. Somebody needs to step in and intervene--IMO--so Sarah can get on with life and be happy. However! (And this is totally TMI here so I apologize!) It's like my ex-husband and his family. The man has a HUGE drinking and drugging problem, he's basically destroying himself, doesn't anybody in the family LOVE him enough to save him from himself? And now I apply that to Sarah, don't they love her enough to save her from herself?

 

[Vasillisos Markos]

Careful! You'll be giving Russo a BIG Head!

(Like Zonk and Warren need THAT headache! )

Russo my dear,

What do you mean "you'll be giving?"

 

[Russophile]

Russo my dear,

What do you mean "you'll be giving?"

Oh Touche!


Here's an article that's more forgiving of the Sarah interview.

Sarah, Duchess of York speaks of 'difficult' royal wedding snub - Europe, World News - Independent.ie

 

[Vita]

IMO, he did by calling her his 3rd child on his brithday.

True dat!

This is the tricky part. Sarah is doing damage to Sarah. Somebody needs to step in and intervene--IMO--so Sarah can get on with life and be happy. However! (And this is totally TMI here so I apologize!) It's like my ex-husband and his family. The man has a HUGE drinking and drugging problem, he's basically destroying himself, doesn't anybody in the family LOVE him enough to save him from himself? And now I apply that to Sarah, don't they love her enough to save her from herself?

Having dealt with a family member going through the same issue as your ex for about 30 years we learned that there is nothing that can be done. The worst thing to do is enable someone in their mistakes by coddling them. This is what is going on with Sarah and until she hits rock bottom and has had enough of playing the victim and takes true ownership of her past and future she will do the same things over and over. You have to kind of turn your back on them emotionally and mentally. It is difficult for everyone involed but it must be done. Sarah and people with addictions of any kind have to come through it on their own. And I believe she is very much addicted to attention and victimisation.

 

[roseroyal]

With all that beng said, I am not gonna sit there and lambast Oprah for doing her JOB. Oprah is supposed to do these things and she has never been above hitting below the belt. I am not surprised. Oprah does not make people victims. It's their choice to fall for her line of questioning. Brad Pitt did a good job of holding his own after the whole Brannifer scandal. It's all about how you want to be perceived.

Thank you for making this point. Very well said.

 

[Lindy]

What irks me is that she went to Thailand because she wasn't invited to the wedding. Gosh, how nice if we could all go to Thailand when things didn't go our way. She owes lots of people money and yet she flaunts the fact that she vacations to beautiful, far away places. If she were more responsible, she would have stayed at home and helped her daughters get dressed, taken pictures, and said, "have fun at the wedding."

 

[Mermaid1962]

Sounds like a good idea, with the proviso that Sarah stop giving interviews. Completely. If she could remarry Andrew and stay in the background, I'd say "go for it."

As a British citizen who is very much a monarchist and love the royal family, I would very much be in favour of an immediate re-marriage between Andrew and Sarah and draw a very thick line under everything that has happend in the past.

 

[Elly C]

Just when I hoped she had learnt from her last outing with Operah, she goes and does it again. Yes she craves the spotlight and I guess she will never change. I personally have grown tired of her performances.

 

[roseroyal]

Sounds like a good idea, with the proviso that Sarah stop giving interviews. Completely. If she could remarry Andrew and stay in the background, I'd say "go for it."

I like the idea of remarriage, with no interviews. But the Queen would not go for it, I would think...

 

[Vita]

I like the idea of remarriage, with no interviews. But the Queen would not go for it, I would think...

I think Charles has proven with his marriage to Camilla that while I'm sure they appreciate and respect their mother very much, they will finally do what makes them happy. If this will shut SARAH up then I hope they get married tomorrow!

EDT: To say I finally made aristocracy! Woo hoo!

 

[KittyAtlanta]

...there is what I suppose I can call 'a strong unwritten Royal Rule' that members of the BRF who are 'close to the throne' do not either associate themselves with or try to seek publicity / exposure of this type, and they certainly do not get involved with programmes of a commercial nature...

Are you too young to remember when they all did a TV game show (It's a Knockout?). Now that was embarrassing.

 

[HRH Princess Sonya]

Sounds like a good idea, with the proviso that Sarah stop giving interviews. Completely. If she could remarry Andrew and stay in the background, I'd say "go for it."

Okay I am going to break my own rules here and say something. My beef is not with Oprah since she is not the one still trying to profit on something she screwed up almost over 20 years ago. Are people really suggesting that Andrew remarry Sarah to become damage control year over a 51 old adult? After all enough is enough!!

 

[sophie25]

I can't believe she's back on Oprah...AGAIN. Every time there is a crisis in her life she runs back to Oprah's sofa to explain it all. IMO Sarah has wasted so much of her life hovering in the wings hoping the BRF will take her back in when she should really have been moving on with her life. She could still have had a good relationship with Andrew and she would always have had her girls so why has she never stopped persuing money and fame? It hasn't made her happy and it's only served to make the Royals pull away from her more and more over the years. I can't imagine for one minute that the Countess of Wessex would behave like this if she and Edward were to part. Sophie would more than likley lead a quite and dignified existence thus still remaining close to the Queen. Sarah can't seem to realise that the more you shut up the more chance you have of winning the Queen's favour.

 

[HRH Princess Sonya]

I can't believe she's back on Oprah...AGAIN. Every time there is a crisis in her life she runs back to Oprah's sofa to explain it all. IMO Sarah has wasted so much of her life hovering in the wings hoping the BRF will take her back in when she should really have been moving on with her life. She could still have had a good relationship with Andrew and she would always have had her girls so why has she never stopped persuing money and fame? It hasn't made her happy and it's only served to make the Royals pull away from her more and more over the years. I can't imagine for one minute that the Countess of Wessex would behave like this if she and Edward were to part. Sophie would more than likley lead a quite and dignified existence thus still remaining close to the Queen. Sarah can't seem to realise that the more you shut up the more chance you have of winning the Queen's favour.

I am not sure what country you are in. However here in the U.S. it is being promoted that the princess will speak for the first time. I will air in Texas in about 10 mins!!

 

[Russophile]

I like the idea of remarriage, with no interviews. But the Queen would not go for it, I would think...

More like Prince Philip would not go for it.
I believe PA pushes it with HM as he is the favorite however he cannot push it with PP.

 

[MissEvangeline]

I am not sure what country you are in. However here in the U.S. it is being promoted that the princess will speak for the first time. I will air in Texas in about 10 mins!!

She appeared on Oprah last year in June, after the "cash for access" scandal broke. Link

 

[Moonmaiden23]

I believe that Lord Snowdon did attend Charles, Andrew and Edwards wedding. But the key difference is that I think Tony was more of a presence in the lives of this generation of Windsor men than Sarah with William and Harry. Margaret and Tony divorced when they were in the mid to late teens. Thus they were still around him at family events and the like. After their divorce, Tony continued to take photos of the BRF.

Its a lot different than divorcing when your nephews haven't reached their teenage years and NOT seeing them at all afterwards. I know Mark Phillips was at Davina Windsor's wedding but that was because he is her godfather. One would assuem that he continued to have a relationship with her after he and Anne divorced.

At the end of the day its all about relationships...Sarah does not have a relationship with William and Harry. That could be her fault (as a result of her actions), the boys fault (they feel she brings unnecessary scandal to the BRF and they want to distance themselves), or whatever we don't know. What we do know is that Sarah said she hasn't talked to them in years.

Also, Lord Snowdon remained friendly with his sister-in-law the Queen, and with the Queen Mother after the divorce. The Queen Mother is said to have really adored him.

He has mostly been very discreet in regards to his Royal connections...he has not embarrassed the Palace or his former-in-laws in any way.

If I am not mistaken Snowdon took at least one official portrait of Diana Spencer during her engagement period.

 

[Russophile]

If I am not mistaken Snowdon took at least one official portrait of Diana Spencer during her engagement period.

TIME: Scenes From A Charmed Life (17)

 

[Moonmaiden23]

No matter what the rest of the world may think of Sarah, to Psses B & E she is their mother. And I am sure they love her unconditionally and accept her with all her shortcomings. It must be very difficult for them. I think people can tend to forget all this.

You are exactly, exactly right Bella. They love her and seem to accept her no matter what. It is beautiful in a way, and it is rather sad at once.

I had a similar situation in my own family...the blackest of black sheep(an alcoholic) that did and said some rather unexcusable things...but I was bound to that person by blood and by love and by inclination and I could not cut them loose no matter how embarrassing and frustrating it sometimes got.

They will NEVER disown or distance themselves from Sarah and frankly I don't think Andrew will either.

I feel for everyone involved.

THANK YOU Russophile...that was the photo I was referring to!

 

[Russophile]

THANK YOU Russophile...that was the photo I was referring to!

No problemo! I have always felt that Tony Snowdon has an eye and a gift with the camera. And PA as well.

 

[Mermaid1962]

That photo was issued for Diana's 21st birthday. BTW this has always been perhaps my favourite portrait from that period. I love how the sapphires highlight her blue eyes!

TIME: Scenes From A Charmed Life (17)

 

[Mirabel]

Sounds like a good idea, with the proviso that Sarah stop giving interviews. Completely. If she could remarry Andrew and stay in the background, I'd say "go for it."

Although I don't believe Andrew is considered brilliant, I do think he's smart enough not to remarry Fergie.
As it is, he can distance himself a bit from her peccadilloes, but if they remarry?

Then there's the point that much of the BRF can't stand her!
How would Andrew deal with that? Every holiday or event would be a nightmare.

I'm convinced that if William had wanted Fergie to be at his wedding, she'd have gotten an invitation. (I don't believe he was worried she'd take attention from Catherine or anything of that nature; I think he just doesn't want her around.)

William seems to be very much his own man; when I look at the guest list for his wedding, this seems very clear. All of his personal friends plus key members of his staff received an invitation, limited space or not.

 

[HRH Princess Sonya]

Just watched to Oprah broadcast in the U.S All she has to say is " I had it all and I blew it". She also said the on how on OWN her reality show has the blessing of PA & her chlidren.

 

[Mermaid1962]

Snowdon took a number of photos of Diana for British Vogue and also some official engagement pictures of Charles and Diana. The famous photo of Diana in the very pale blush ruffled blouse is one of these. Here's an article with that photo: Princess Diana’s wedding dress designer sells engagement blouse after financial difficulties « Princess Diana Remembered

If I am not mistaken Snowdon took at least one official portrait of Diana Spencer during her engagement period.

 

[Moonmaiden23]

Oh, he's(Snowdon) VERY good at what he does...thanks Mermaid!

 

[Mermaid1962]

There really seems to be no solution for the "Sarah problem" except perhaps pensioning her off somewhere. Even with her work for Weight Watchers, she talked about her time in the Royal Family--"The Duchess of Pork"--and her abandonment by her mother. The thing about counselling and therapy is that a person has to use the tools that she's taught in order to move on. However, Sarah doesn't seem to be able to do this. She seems to be constantly reliving her traumas, which isn't good for her and isn't good for her family. It doesn't help that there still seems to be a bit of a market for Sarah's "bloodletting" which encourages this bad behaviour. I can't think of another public figure who gets paid for publicly talking about her suffering over and over again. It simply encourages it.

Although I don't believe Andrew is considered brilliant, I do think he's smart enough not to remarry Fergie.
As it is, he can distance himself a bit from her peccadilloes, but if they remarry?

Then there's the point that much of the BRF can't stand her!

 

[Mermaid1962]

You're welcome. A quick internet search will bring up others , if you're interested in seeing them.

Oh, he's(Snowdon) VERY good at what he does...thanks Mermaid!

 

[Moonmaiden23]

You're welcome. A quick internet search will bring up others , if you're interested in seeing them.

BTW...the problem with "pensioning Sarah off somewhere" is that she would still get herself into financial trouble somehow!

I used to believe that the BRF brought it all on themselves with the shameful financial settlement they gave Sarah...that if they had only given her a lot of money she would not have run amok with these dubious financial deals she got herself into.

But imo, Sarah's problems go much deeper than financial irresponsibility. She was apparently abused and then abandoned by her mother growing up- a mother whose memory she continues to revere, btw-and it has left a very deep hole that she tries to fill with her excesses in spending, eating, not being able to shut the hell up when she should, trusting shady people, etc.

In other words she seems driven to self-sabotage herself, maybe to fulfill some inner voice from long ago that told her she was simply NO GOOD.

I hate sounding like an armchair shrink so I will stop now...but that is what I have believed about her for years.

BTW...I think Prince Andrew attempting to console her by reminding her of their own wedding day was heart-breaking and sweet...they DID have a perfect wedding day and no matter how things eventually turned out no one can ever take that from them.

I don't think I saw Prince Andrew smile once at the William/Kate wedding...he looked sad, imo.