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  #281  
Old 02-15-2009, 12:14 AM
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Perhaps she brings it upon herself....??
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  #282  
Old 02-15-2009, 01:15 AM
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In the same vein, we all bring it upon ourselves everyday.

Sarah is routinely bashed for doing things that are admired when other people do them. She is regularly chastised for trying to behave like a royal when she is no longer one and then, in the next breath, equally chastised for behaving in a manner unfit for a fringe member of the royal family. An exceedingly unfair double standard and one, I'm afraid, that is getting quite tiresome to continue to allow.
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  #283  
Old 02-15-2009, 02:36 AM
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Kimebear, I truly meant no disrespect in my post. I hope that none will be taken.
  #284  
Old 02-15-2009, 02:41 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by udyusa View Post
Perhaps she brings it upon herself....??
She may well bring sober criticism of some of her actions upon herself. That, however, isn't what's been going on in this thread. When a group of people gang up to mount a relentless barrage of mean-spirited attacks on someone, the very least they could do is to acknowledge responsibility for their actions instead of turning round and blaming the victim. This thread has honestly become painful to read.
  #285  
Old 02-15-2009, 03:01 AM
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I understand what you are trying to say, Elspeth, and I appreciate your explaining what it sounds like. I would like to explain my feelings further with you, but as it is so late on my end, I fear that I would be remiss to even try to explain as my mind is not functioning at full capacity now. I'm sorry!
  #286  
Old 02-15-2009, 03:47 AM
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Well, there's always tomorrow...
  #287  
Old 02-15-2009, 04:01 AM
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Finally it's happened!

Thank you to the administrators who have finally taken a stand against the constant barrage of criticism aimed at the Duchess. At its worst, this thread is nothing more than playground bullying.

I love the Royal forums but became so disillusioned with this particular thread and the negative sniping, it became too difficult to read.

I sincerely hope members will stop being so nasty and spiteful about the Duchess.

If you haven't got anything nice to say...
  #288  
Old 02-15-2009, 07:18 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Elspeth View Post
Sarah is involved in a lot of charites, especially having to do with children. I really don't believe that all of this is being done for the sake of personal publicity and celebrity; there are easier ways to stay in the limelight than to be spearheading children's charities around the world.
I'm sure she does a lot of good for her other causes (most of which are unknown in the UK) but to become involved in the various TV programmes, really can't, IMO, be seen as anything other than publicity seeking. I am equally sure that had Sarah spoken out against the orphanages to the media, perhaps publicly backing a campaign, it would have caused less distaste than the whole dressing up debacle and involvement of her HRH daughters.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Elspeth
When a group of people gang up to mount a relentless barrage of mean-spirited attacks on someone, the very least they could do is to acknowledge responsibility for their actions instead of turning round and blaming the victim.
I haven't seen a group of people do that, what I see is posters explaining why they think some of Sarahs actions are distasteful. How else are people supposed to explain how they formed their opinion on Sarah?
  #289  
Old 02-15-2009, 08:56 AM
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I am afraid from the moment she was caught having her toe sucked by her financial adviser with her children next to her, I have found little to praise her for. So if this is a wonderful Sarah thread I will have to refrain from commenting, no doubt that will please the people that find her acts laudable. I think she put the royal family in a very bad light when she was a member of it, now she is no longer a close member.

Sarah is no victim, if she hadn´t acted the way she did and does, she would still be called "the breath of fresh air" that everyone at the time of her marriage thought she would be, and she would still be HRH The Duchess of York. The person who deserves praise in all this sad affair is Prince Andrew whose behaviour has been absolutely exceptional considering he was the wronged husband.
I give praise where I think it is due and that is to Prince Andrew and not to his wife who let him and his family down badly.
  #290  
Old 02-15-2009, 01:08 PM
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There is quite a vast difference between constructive criticism and the giggling catty displays that occur all too frequently in this thread as well as the ones for her daughters.
  #291  
Old 02-15-2009, 02:24 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Skydragon View Post
I haven't seen a group of people do that, what I see is posters explaining why they think some of Sarahs actions are distasteful. How else are people supposed to explain how they formed their opinion on Sarah?
As I said, I don't think anyone is opposed to thoughtful and sober criticism, and Sarah has certainly done her share (and more) over the years to attract it.

However, I think we might be using different working definitions of the word "explaining" if it covers stuff like the following (and bear in mind that this is from posts that weren't deleted - the ones that were deleted, and there are many, many deleted posts in this thread, were sometimes breathtaking in their insensitivity, cattiness, and sometimes downright cruelty):

"I also think that the Duchess might want to go on a diet again."
" In case people forgot who she is, she needs to drop names to keep herself front and center."
"at every opportunity she gets to mention them [the royal family], she has to or no one would know who she was"
"I don´t believe she meant it for a second, it was another way to get attention."
"Did Sarah do this out of the goodness of her heart? Or just for the benefit of the photographers?"
"I am guessing Sarah must really like Geir, for going out with him now may well entail her paying for the evening"
"What else would she be able to do to make a living and be noticed?"
"She knows that she may have to depend on her daughters and Andrew to still be "someone" so that she will remain in the public eye, so to speak."

And that's just a selection. I see very little explaining, just a constant barrage of sniping. And, as I said, this is from the posts that weren't deleted. The genuinely thoughtful and explanatory posts are getting lost in the morass of "isn't she just awful?" "oooh, but isn't she really just awful?" "How could someone be so awful" "I think she's awful too."

Reading through 15 pages of this thread, it seems to me that if it was pared down to the posts that made actual contributions - news, information, and thoughtful criticism - we'd be down to somewhere nearer 5 pages.
  #292  
Old 02-15-2009, 02:32 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Menarue View Post
I am afraid from the moment she was caught having her toe sucked by her financial adviser with her children next to her, I have found little to praise her for. So if this is a wonderful Sarah thread I will have to refrain from commenting, no doubt that will please the people that find her acts laudable. I think she put the royal family in a very bad light when she was a member of it, now she is no longer a close member.
Oh, come on, Menarue, I hope you know the moderators better than that. Of course it isn't the Wonderful Sarah thread. But it absolutely isn't the "let's all taunt Sarah" thread, which is what it's been in danger of turning into time and again until the mods have shown up with their pruning shears.

All the moderators are asking, and it isn't unreasonable of them, is that criticism should be thoughtful and measured, and that it shouldn't descend into the "let's gang up on Sarah and attack her till she cries" mentality that I'm sure we're all familiar with from junior school days. These current-events threads are supposed to be a resource of information about news together with intelligent commentary, and this thread has been falling way short of the latter for most of its lifespan.

I know that in other forums we get the same thing - when a bunch of people have been going on about how terrible this or that royal is and the moderators call a halt in the name of simple humanity, the result is often "well, if we're only allowed to talk about how wonderful she is, that isn't fair." It's always surprised me that people can't see the difference between "you can only be flattering" and "your criticism should be thoughful, not cruel."

Do you really think the mods are being unreasonable when they try to maintain the standard that "your criticism should be thoughful, not cruel"?
  #293  
Old 02-15-2009, 02:32 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Menarue View Post
I am afraid from the moment she was caught having her toe sucked by her financial adviser...
There are occasions in life when we just need to move on. The great toe-sucking scandal was 1992. Let me repeat that. 1992. It is now 2009.
While it may provide a degree of personal satisfaction for some to continue twittering over old scandals - and raising them at every opportunity - it really is time to let them go.

This thread is likely the most relentlessly negative in the entire Forums. The constant carping and me-tooism demonstrated by some members as they indulge in gleeful bitchiness is both unattractive and depressing.

It has become apparent that many members have lost patience with the cattiness that is now appearing on page after page. As have the British Forum Moderators and the Administrators. Members make conscious decisions as to the content of their posts, the tenor of their remarks, and the repetitiveness of their comments. There are no excuses.

If the overall tone of this thread does not improve the Mods and Admins will have no other option than to take direct action to ensure that it does.

Warren
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  #294  
Old 02-15-2009, 06:04 PM
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I merely explained why I don´t think Sarah is a victim and I praised her ex husband for being so dignified and royal about the whole situation. It was a long time ago but it was the reason for most of the strong feelings of the people taking part in this thread, it was also the reason that she is not now the duchess of York. I would like to praise her for something but I am at a loss.... she paid off her debts, if she hadn´t run them up in the first place this would not have been necessary. She went undercover to a foreign country with a reporting team for a TV show. She probably meant well but it is just not done to undermine your country´s foreign policy. One thing in her favour is her husband´s standing by her and helping her when she has needed it, in that she is truly very lucky and so the one thing I can really praise her for is her choice of husband, it is only a pity the marriage ended up so badly and apparently through no fault of his.
I take no pleasure in criticising Sarah, it is more in sorrow that I see the damage she did to the BRF and I can´t help but feel that she gave bad advice to Diana who was younger and not as worldly as her sister-in-law. But as you said, it is all water under the bridge now. Perhaps Sarah will do something praiseworthy soon, if some good came out of her orphanage raid I don´t know, if it did, well then that was something badly done that turned out well.
  #295  
Old 02-15-2009, 06:12 PM
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Look, she took the daughters to that orphanage not long ago, and still certain posters found nothing pleasant to say. I thinks she's tried hard to earn her own way and be a good mother, to the extent she has any control over the grown daughters. What is she supposed to live on, air?
  #296  
Old 02-15-2009, 06:35 PM
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I am quite certain that the mods will delete this but I mean no harm. I have read this on another forum and it is from the Telegraph.
"Criminal complaint made against Duchess of York". She has been accused by Turkish authorities of breaking privacy laws.
She Does mean well but just misses the mark and like me, she has "Foot in mouth" disease as well.
  #297  
Old 02-15-2009, 07:03 PM
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I don't know . . . maybe it's just me (but I tend to be a low-key kinda gal) but Sarah must certainly have enough $$$ now to live a comfortable life w/out having to really go out and work or hock something or lend her name/image to something. If I were her I'd buy a cozy place in the lovely English countryside and do some writing or painting. I'd pick a couple of charities to continue working with/for. Maybe go into London a couple times a month for lunch or a show or something (and to visit B) but otherwise just indulge in the gardens and shops and lifestyle of the country. I know it's not for everyone, but to me, that seems an ideal way of life. If I only had the means to live it.
  #298  
Old 02-15-2009, 09:29 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Menarue View Post
.....It was a long time ago but it was the reason for most of the strong feelings of the people taking part in this thread, it was also the reason that she is not now the duchess of York.
I don't see the need to flog a person today for something that happened 17 years ago and for what she paid the ultimate price for. Given the fact that adultery seems to be a BRF family tradition hundreds of years old, I can't help but feel that many people see Sarah's real crime was getting caught having her toes sucked, not actually the adultery itself. Mores the pity. Warren is absolutely correct. If you can't let go of this incident by now, Sarah is forever tainted in your eyes and it does you no credit to pretend an objective viewpoint.

Quote:
Perhaps Sarah will do something praiseworthy soon, if some good came out of her orphanage raid I don´t know, if it did, well then that was something badly done that turned out well.
My point exactly. Even if something she does turns out positive, you have to damn her for it.
  #299  
Old 02-15-2009, 09:42 PM
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Originally Posted by udyusa View Post
I am quite certain that the mods will delete this but I mean no harm. I have read this on another forum and it is from the Telegraph.
"Criminal complaint made against Duchess of York". She has been accused by Turkish authorities of breaking privacy laws.
She Does mean well but just misses the mark and like me, she has "Foot in mouth" disease as well.
I don't exactly see why you think the mods would delete your post for mentioning the Telegraph article since they didn't delete Skydragon's post for doing so.
  #300  
Old 02-15-2009, 10:03 PM
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Red face

My apologies! I had forgotten that post from Sky.
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