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  #401  
Old 04-13-2019, 05:13 AM
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Originally Posted by Madame Verseau View Post
Let's also remember Meghan married into a family where the matriarch is the ceremonial head of state. By law Harry had to get the queen's consent to marry Meghan and the Counsillors of State had to agree. I would not be surprised if Meghan was vetted before the official sign off and her families may have been scrubbed as well since it been years since Meghan contacted them. It could be some of Meghan's family came out of the wrong side of a background check so they were no gos for the wedding. The half siblings were obvious. Pick some and not others would have been a bigger mess so they would settle for Mom and Dad.
but "Dad" did't come...though it seems he was invited and expected....
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  #402  
Old 04-13-2019, 05:21 AM
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But these are still family members and most people have family members at their weddings whom they barely see. As her Uncle said there were hundreds of guests there including a lot of celebrities who had never been known to be friends of her's prior to the wedding day but no family except her mother. I have never seen a wedding like it in that respect. I also wouldn't call her relatives 'toxic', why should they care what she thinks about them?
So Meghan should pretend just because they share DNA because others do it? With the exception of Oprah, I didnít see any celebrity that was a surprised. And even Oprah, she goes to the same church as Doria.

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Originally Posted by Madame Verseau View Post
Let's also remember Meghan married into a family where the matriarch is the ceremonial head of state. By law Harry had to get the queen's consent to marry Meghan and the Counsillors of State had to agree. I would not be surprised if Meghan was vetted before the official sign off and her families may have been scrubbed as well since it been years since Meghan contacted them. It could be some of Meghan's family came out of the wrong side of a background check so they were no gos for the wedding. The half siblings were obvious. Pick some and not others would have been a bigger mess so they would settle for Mom and Dad.
Doubt it. While some of these people will sell anything for a few bucks, I donít see any grave concern. We have to remember, embarrassing family members arenít exactly new for the royal family. Itís down to if neither side have bothered to form a relationship in years, there is no need to invite them to the wedding. Royal or not.
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  #403  
Old 04-13-2019, 05:29 AM
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I couldn't agree more and she has some nice aunts and uncles on her dad's side too, one of whom helped her get a job years ago and had never offended her in any way. That uncle also expressed surprise at not being invited and I don't blame him and I won't call people toxic because they express disappointment over how she's treated them. There may be some she's unhappy with but to blank all of them dosn't make any sense to me.
That uncle is the one who sold his brotherís location in Mexico to the paparazzi.
  #404  
Old 04-13-2019, 05:31 AM
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My point is why should they care what she thinks about them now after not getting invited to the wedding? Meghan is the common factor in all these falling outs and snubs with both sides of her family so I just can't accept that it's everyone else who is at fault.
I donít think we are saying they should care. However to blame Meghan for this is ridiculous. Many of them sold her for money BEFORE the invitations were even printed. Given that, why in the world would she even consider inviting them?

Even without it, I certainly see no problem with her keeping the circle close and keep out people that arenít in her life to avoid further complications. Why open the can of worms if you donít have to. Itís their prerogative to speak or not at this point, but at least it is known they have no access and this updated information.

And btw, no one is at fault for not inviting or getting invited. Itís just no one has to invite people they arenít close to. But to sell her out and complain about not being invited at the same time is a bit rich. Itís proving she did the right thing. And obviously none of them had similar interest in getting an invite to her first wedding. Wishing her well on her wedding day obviously isnít top priority for them or why they want to go to her wedding. Itís being able to say they have connection to royalty.

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Originally Posted by O-H Anglophile View Post
That uncle is the one who sold his brotherís location in Mexico to the paparazzi.
BEFORE the invitation was an issue I should point out.
  #405  
Old 04-13-2019, 05:49 AM
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Originally Posted by jacqui24 View Post
BEFORE the invitation was an issue I should point out.
Exactly. Meghan found out early into her relationship with Harry that some of her relatives were at best indiscreet. She and Harry would not have liked every detail of their wedding receptions in the press- I am convinced that would have happened from some of them. Maybe she already had bad experiences with some of them-she’s not going to say that or what it was. Maybe some of them asked her for money or something else once she was successful in Suits. We can speculate til the cows come home but it is obvious there are strained relationships here. We cannot judge another’s family by our own.
  #406  
Old 04-13-2019, 08:25 AM
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Oh come off it, the royals are hardly paragons of virtue. If Harry had applied the same standards to them that some on this thread are implying that Meghan used to exclude her family then quite a few wouldn't have made the wedding list either. Sophie has blabbed to the press in the past and Fergie's list of indiscretions are limitless and they are not the only ones I could mention.
  #407  
Old 04-13-2019, 08:38 AM
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Originally Posted by sophie25 View Post
I couldn't agree more and she has some nice aunts and uncles on her dad's side too, one of whom helped her get a job years ago and had never offended her in any way. That uncle also expressed surprise at not being invited and I don't blame him and I won't call people toxic because they express disappointment over how she's treated them. There may be some she's unhappy with but to blank all of them dosn't make any sense to me.
You mean Thomas' brother who also said she owed him to a newspaper who then retracted his comment and admitted that he just made a phone call to get her the application -- not the job? This brother also told the media where to find Thomas in Mexico.

That is my point. They all want to lay claim on her and then when pushed they admit what really happen.

People have their own personal family dynamics. You might think they look great from a distance but that is what people allow you to see. How many horror stories have folks heard that started with "They seemed like the perfect family?" More than we like to count.

If they weren't in her life prior to Harry why should they be in her life now? If anything Meghan is more cautious of allowing people in who she thinks will take advantage of her and her uncle selling personally pictures to a tabloid just proves she was right.

In the end she knows them better than you and so far nothing these folks have done proves Meghan was in the wrong.

Quote:
Originally Posted by sophie25 View Post
Oh come off it, the royals are hardly paragons of virtue. If Harry had applied the same standards to them that some on this thread are implying that Meghan used to exclude her family then quite a few wouldn't have made the wedding list either. Sophie has blabbed to the press in the past and Fergie's list of indiscretions are limitless and they are not the only ones I could mention.
Well Harry has to interact with his family quite a bit. His position is very different. So even if he doesn't want to be in the same room with certain people it is his duty to smile and nod.

Meghan doesn't have to do that with her family. They were not in her life for over a decade and for some closer to two decades. Again why does she have to fake it because people are uncomfortable? It is her life. It he HER distant relative dynamics. This is like people who say she needs to forgive the Markles. WHY? Stop trying to force her to allow negative nonsense into her life.

Half these people were showing out before the wedding and then want to act surprised they got no invitation. This uncle selling personal pictures back in December 2017 doesn't get the right to act hurt when he picked money over her. His check should have been enough.
  #408  
Old 04-13-2019, 09:05 AM
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I'm going to say this and be done with this conversation.

Not everyone has "happy" families and just because some can look past things and move on, doesn't mean that others have to follow that same idea.

You talk, you're done. That's the way it is with me, and it seems like Meghan is the same way, with the exception of her father in the draw up to the wedding.

If she had invited some on the Ragland side (the ones that hadn't talk or sold pictures like this one), then the others would have been bleating from the roof top more than they are now. Same thing with the Markles. We know Sam and Jr. weren't ever going to be invited, but let's say good old uncle Joe Markle (I know that's not his name) got an invite, and Meghan's nieces and nephews (Sam and Jr. kids) didn't get invited because surely Sam and Jr. would have gone on a publicity rampage if their offsprings that they themselves have no contact with received and invite and they didn't. Then I think it would be even worse than what it is today. It would have caused even more divisiveness than there is today. We all know that some would have said that she is using some family members to spite the others, and so on and so forth. So when it came down to it, invite no one except mom and dad (and I strongly believe that had Sam and Jr. not shown their asses when the relationship was revealed, they MAY have gotten an invite-then again, I wouldn't take this bet). Invite no one except your parents, and no one can say that she's playing favourites.

If you weren't in her life for decades prior to this, you should understand why no invite. I mean, this is common sense and most people get this. I haven't seen or spoken to you in 10-20 years, why would I invite you to my wedding, when 10 years prior you didn't attend my first wedding. It would seem completely disingenuous for Meghan to invite them this time and not the first time (we know they weren't at her first wedding).

So now, I'm going to let Meghan deal with her "relatives" (because they surely aren't family and are just now blood relatives) as she sees fit. Just because you would handle the situation differently doesn't mean what she is doing is wrong. Different perspectives.
  #409  
Old 04-13-2019, 09:12 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sophie25 View Post
Oh come off it, the royals are hardly paragons of virtue. If Harry had applied the same standards to them that some on this thread are implying that Meghan used to exclude her family then quite a few wouldn't have made the wedding list either. Sophie has blabbed to the press in the past and Fergie's list of indiscretions are limitless and they are not the only ones I could mention.
I've said this all along...what is with this idea that the family somehow has to measure up ...measure up to what? The BRF are not exactly paragons of virtue or great examples of family life.

People being what they are, are imperfect and often have messy lives or families....they should consider themselves fortunate any woman wants to marry into the BRF with all their history and that type of life.



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  #410  
Old 04-13-2019, 09:15 AM
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Originally Posted by evolvingdoors View Post
I have always found it odd only her mom was there.
Maybe itís the tribe Jewish genes thing or being a granddaughter of holocaust survivors with literally most of the families being wiped out, so I am Uber aware of ones roots and family trees. But, I have extended family members on my mom side (no family left anymore on my dad) I have not seen since I was a teenager at best and was never quite close to them even then, and some not so extended I donít have much connection with as we just drifted apart- as can happen- I still make sure to call and say happy b-day call, and happy holiday and spend Rosh Hashana evening with them. None the less, if I were to get married in a regular ceremony (meaning not eloping) I would at the very least send them an invite- itís basic courtesy and showing of respect and kindness.0

especially if I had millions to spare for my wedding and no space issue whatsoever! And was inviting people who literally never met me before the wedding day.

Say what you will, it makes no sense Every single family member is toxic or problematic. Statistically it is nearly impossible! Sorry her mom side looks very nice and decent from where iím standing.

Just think as if you were one of her family members. How would you feel not even getting the invite? Weíre not talking 3 times removed family, but her own uncles and cousins! Thatís considered first degree, 2nd at most. They were obviously part of her life growing up to some degree.

Her uncle plain and simple says no one else was invited, personally? Iíd feel deeply hurt and insulted if my sister kids didnít invite me to their wedding- even if we had no connection in the years before it.
My little sister got married last year. She only invited some of our family members on our mother side of the family, but not on our fatherís side of the family. Why? Well, she really didnít feel like dealing with them because of past issues. If she couldíve gotten away with it, none of our family members wouldíve been invited. She pretty much invited her friends and the rest was the grooms side of the family. Just a handful of our own.

Thereís stuff that goes down in families thatís very complicated and we have to remember that we donít know everything about Meghanís family problems. Itís none of our business. Doria could have issues with her family, too.
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  #411  
Old 04-13-2019, 10:16 AM
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We don’t know, but I have to ask what sort of info do people think they would have sold from a ceremony that was already broadcasted on TV?
She could have simply invited them to the ceremony but not the dinner party.

As someone said: the common thing among all this fall outs is Meghan. While some members may be problematic, it is just too much of a odd case all of them are!

And you know what? I do believe many of her fans claim she has millions to her name, Certainly she had enough to live comfortably and be able to travel back and forth from Canada to the UK.. so yea in her place I would offer to at least cover the hotel room for my family, maybe even the plane ticket.
She had people she never met before the wedding, probably never saw again. Harry had relatives and people on his side whom he barely has any contact with- hack he had two ex girlfriend (at least!).

I can understand losing contact if you’re a career driven person (which is something Meghan and myself have in common) but I would still never think not to invite my family to my wedding. At least invite! Again it’s a basic common courtesy of showing family members that while you may not be in touch you still care for them.

If this marriage ever ends, she will find out very quickly how important family is, because the royals will shut the door in her face and turn their backs on her faster than she can say “long live the queen/king”
  #412  
Old 04-13-2019, 10:26 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by evolvingdoors View Post
I can understand losing contact if youíre a career driven person (which is something Meghan and myself have in common) but I would still never think not to invite my family to my wedding. At least invite! Again itís a basic common courtesy of showing family members that while you may not be in touch you still care for them.

When my sister married she invited quite a lot of people she never saw, only because she was expected to. I really donít see the point in doing that. If you donít acknowledge my existence before the wedding, I donít see why I should invite you. Iím completely done with people who only want to know you when itís convenient. My sister is one of these. I havenít seen her in 2 years. If I ever got married, Iím not sure I would invite her.
  #413  
Old 04-13-2019, 10:31 AM
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Originally Posted by evolvingdoors View Post

She had people she never met before the wedding, probably never saw again.

If this marriage ever ends, she will find out very quickly how important family is, because the royals will shut the door in her face and turn their backs on her faster than she can say “long live the queen/king”
I had people had my wedding I’d never met before-friends of my husband, friends of my in-laws, some of their relatives....

These relatives of Meghan’s were not “family” before the wedding so why would they be “family” in the future. Doria is “family.”
  #414  
Old 04-13-2019, 11:14 AM
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Originally Posted by evolvingdoors View Post
We donít know, but I have to ask what sort of info do people think they would have sold from a ceremony that was already broadcasted on TV?
She could have simply invited them to the ceremony but not the dinner party.

As someone said: the common thing among all this fall outs is Meghan. While some members may be problematic, it is just too much of a odd case all of them are!

And you know what? I do believe many of her fans claim she has millions to her name, Certainly she had enough to live comfortably and be able to travel back and forth from Canada to the UK.. so yea in her place I would offer to at least cover the hotel room for my family, maybe even the plane ticket.
She had people she never met before the wedding, probably never saw again. Harry had relatives and people on his side whom he barely has any contact with- hack he had two ex girlfriend (at least!).

I can understand losing contact if youíre a career driven person (which is something Meghan and myself have in common) but I would still never think not to invite my family to my wedding. At least invite! Again itís a basic common courtesy of showing family members that while you may not be in touch you still care for them.

If this marriage ever ends, she will find out very quickly how important family is, because the royals will shut the door in her face and turn their backs on her faster than she can say ďlong live the queen/kingĒ

The common thing isn't Meghan per se..it's her family. Look at the bigger picture.

Families are often messy at best ...very few folks have families without some sort of dysfunction. You just don't get to see it played out in public.



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  #415  
Old 04-13-2019, 11:17 AM
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Originally Posted by evolvingdoors View Post
We donít know, but I have to ask what sort of info do people think they would have sold from a ceremony that was already broadcasted on TV?
She could have simply invited them to the ceremony but not the dinner party.

As someone said: the common thing among all this fall outs is Meghan. While some members may be problematic, it is just too much of a odd case all of them are!

And you know what? I do believe many of her fans claim she has millions to her name, Certainly she had enough to live comfortably and be able to travel back and forth from Canada to the UK.. so yea in her place I would offer to at least cover the hotel room for my family, maybe even the plane ticket.
She had people she never met before the wedding, probably never saw again. Harry had relatives and people on his side whom he barely has any contact with- hack he had two ex girlfriend (at least!).

I can understand losing contact if youíre a career driven person (which is something Meghan and myself have in common) but I would still never think not to invite my family to my wedding. At least invite! Again itís a basic common courtesy of showing family members that while you may not be in touch you still care for them.

If this marriage ever ends, she will find out very quickly how important family is, because the royals will shut the door in her face and turn their backs on her faster than she can say ďlong live the queen/kingĒ
You have a flaw in your assessment -- Meghan wasn't close to these people pre Harry. So why would she worry about them IF this marriage ended? Most these people admit she has not seen them in nearly 20 years.

Yes the common denominator is Meghan because she is the person they are all trying to cling to. Where were these people 5 years ago? Distant relatives coming out the woodwork is very common when someone gets something others want a piece of.

People should be mindful of comparing their family dynamics to others. It is great you would invite everyone under the sun. I would not. Meghan has not and honestly from what we have seen she made the right choice. We don't know these people. How can anyone tell someone how to deal with their family members?

And she is suppose to pay their expenses? That is a joke.
  #416  
Old 04-13-2019, 11:22 AM
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Originally Posted by evolvingdoors View Post

And you know what? I do believe many of her fans claim she has millions to her name, Certainly she had enough to live comfortably and be able to travel back and forth from Canada to the UK.. so yea in her place I would offer to at least cover the hotel room for my family, maybe even the plane ticket.
She had people she never met before the wedding, probably never saw again. Harry had relatives and people on his side whom he barely has any contact with- hack he had two ex girlfriend (at least!).

I can understand losing contact if you’re a career driven person (which is something Meghan and myself have in common) but I would still never think not to invite my family to my wedding. At least invite! Again it’s a basic common courtesy of showing family members that while you may not be in touch you still care for them.

If this marriage ever ends, she will find out very quickly how important family is, because the royals will shut the door in her face and turn their backs on her faster than she can say “long live the queen/king”
Uh, if you care about them, why wouldn’t you be in touch? Nothing says I don’t care about you than not being in touch for years. And really, such an invitation is rather odd. I can understand people inviting extended family they aren’t in touch with if their parents are still in touch with them. But in this case, that’s just not it. And it’s perfectly fine not to be close to extended family. Neither side is wrong for it. I just think it’s rich for them to complain about her for not inviting them when they really don’t seem to care for her or have her best interest at heart.

I doubt neither party would care much about each other had she not married into the BRF. And I would expect they’d go back to not have much interest in her if she’s no longer a member of BRF in this case. Who needs family like that around?

And as with most of us, just because you have money, doesn’t mean to have to spend it. Especially on people you haven’t had contact with in years and will sell you for a few bucks.
  #417  
Old 04-13-2019, 11:32 AM
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Originally Posted by evolvingdoors View Post

If this marriage ever ends, she will find out very quickly how important family is, because the royals will shut the door in her face and turn their backs on her faster than she can say ďlong live the queen/kingĒ
If this marriage does end, I believe Meghan would be fine, because the same people who were in her life before this relationship (her mother, her friends of over 20 years) would still be in her life, and that does not include distant relatives who were not in contact with her for decades.

The only anomaly in this whole thing is her father.
  #418  
Old 04-13-2019, 11:34 AM
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Originally Posted by sophie25 View Post
Oh come off it, the royals are hardly paragons of virtue. If Harry had applied the same standards to them that some on this thread are implying that Meghan used to exclude her family then quite a few wouldn't have made the wedding list either. Sophie has blabbed to the press in the past and Fergie's list of indiscretions are limitless and they are not the only ones I could mention.
Except, both of these people have contact with Harry and his core family. Those people on Meghanís side donít. Neither of these people have acted hateful towards Harry just because heís not in contact with them when itís convenient for them. And really, Harry can decide how to do the invitations on his side and Meghan can with hers. They donít have to have the same standard on that. In fact, Harry has cut out some members of his extended family, and I doubt itís an personal sly against them.
  #419  
Old 04-13-2019, 11:38 AM
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Duke and Duchess of Sussex, General News 3: February 2019 -

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Originally Posted by Pranter View Post
The common thing isn't Meghan per se..it's her family. Look at the bigger picture.



Families are often messy at best ...very few folks have families without some sort of dysfunction. You just don't get to see it played out in public.







LaRae


Exactly.

Hereís another reason I can see Meghan not inviting certain relatives- the real possibility of an argument breaking out at the wedding or reception between various family members. We know many of them donít get along with each other.

Before my grandmotherís funeral my dad was worried about a couple of family members who hadnít been in a room together in nearly two decades. He was worried theyíd get into a fight. Me and my rose colored glasses was sure that no way would either of them allow a fight to break out.

Well- it didnít, but as it turned out- my dad was right to worry. I was told later, that if one of my relatives felt provoked- however she defined that- sheíd have been perfectly fine with getting into an argument with said relative.... rather than simply walking away. I was appalled.

And that right there....is one reason why people think twice about relatives they invite: you know the potential for disruption exists. Who needs that stress.
  #420  
Old 04-13-2019, 11:46 AM
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Btw, this shaming of someone not inviting certain people to their wedding is odd. The invitations should only be extended to whomever the couple wants. And perhaps people footing the bill. End of.
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