Royal Protocol and Etiquette

[princess gertrude]

This is an outstanding thread. I am originally from California, and we (Californians) are rather informal people. It is nice to learn about etiquette and courtesies. It seems that these are things of the past in the United States, and this is not a good thing. One thing that makes me especially crazy is seeing people chewing gum in public and men who spit on the sidewalk. I think that polite behavior is not always evident in today's society. This is unfortunate, and perhaps Americans can learn from these rules of etiquette, despite the fact that we don't have royalty. These rules can apply to everyday life.

I agree with you. I think that the biggest pet peave of mine is chewing while your mouth is open, or you are talking! That drives me CRAZY!! Also, the chewing gum thing, some people look like a cow chewing cud and to me that is not what gum was intended for. I could go on and on but I think you get the idea.

 

[pinkie40]

Also, it is wise to remember The Queen of Enlgand is not a waitress at a coffee shop/Starbucks. I remember with much embarrassment when Nancy Reagan pleaded with Her Majesty to find a cup of decaffeinated coffee for the President.Her Majesty handled it with wide eyed amusement and bellowed (yes) out to a waiter (this happened onboard Britannia) to fetch a cup while Nancy stood there wringing her hands at The Queen...

 

[wbenson]

I saw that video. Mrs. Reagan also seemed to shoot her husband a couple glances when he got a little too political, as well.

 

[PrinceOfCanada]

Yes, I never understood why Mrs. Reagan would ask the Queen for decaf when there were approximately seven thousand serving staff around. I mean, can you imagine HRH Prince Philip saying "George, could you get me a cup of tea?"

Of course not. Horribly gauche.

 

[Madame Royale]

I've seen that footage a number of times and to me, HM was only too pleased to tend Mrs. Reagan's request. The Queen takes much pride in her guests needs being met, even if it is a mere cup of decaffeinated coffee and I think she gets a tickle out of it. I mean, this is a lady, notably a Queen, who does enjoy the odd protocol mishap afterall.

I don't think she would have thought anything of it really.

 

[Nikki63]

You must also remember that at this time the Alzheimers which eventually took his life was beginning to take hold. The victims of this disease begin to be easily flustered and tend to focus on innocuous matters to try to maintain some sense of control when things are starting to get fuzzy. Plus...Nancy was totally devoted to him. Whatever he wanted she was going to make sure he got, even if it was simply a cup of decaf. I'm sure the Queen didn't mind it a bit. She has, I'm sure, seen and heard much more demanding, and less polite, requests than that.

 

[candygirl_68]

yes, HM the Queen is not the type of woman to snarl about every mistake of outstanders.

 

[HRH Kerry]

Also, the queen has known a lot of different personalities over the years. I'm sure that this incident was something that they laughed about later on.

 

[PrinceOfCanada]

HM was only too pleased to tend Mrs. Reagan's request

Of course she was. The old bird is the very definition of grace. That doesn't mean it wasn't rude to ask her.

 

[Madame Royale]

As is your opinion.

Amusingly tactless, and hardly an insult. The Queen was afterall her host.

Though why she didn't ask a member of staff I don't know but you weren't there, I wasn't there and it's hardly something the Queen would have been concerned with, I'm sure.

 

[Prince of Chota]

Well, the established rule is you wait for them to approach you but a simple "Good Morning Ma'am" as they pass is a nice way of making a greeting that isn't too pushy and gives them the opportunity to say the same back or to engage in a longer conversation.

If we're going to get into nitty-gritty of protocol, you must first address a royal lady as "Your Highness" before calling her "ma'am" for the rest of the conversation. The same goes for royal men and "Sir".

 

[Prince of Chota]

Onboard Britannia, HM the Queen is the hostess. It is never impolite for a guest to request something from the hostess; in fact, it is more polite to defer to a hostess with a specific request. I haven't seen the video, but if the First Lady was demanding rather than requesting, it is rude. And pleading is just plain awkward.
Nancy Reagan was apparently very strange to the royal family. She often had no idea how to handle the staff (something which hardly suprises me about the woman).

 

[canadacub]

I've met Queen Elizabeth at a drisage competition outside of Toronto. She wasn't expected to come into the training area but chose to. I was wearing work clothes and had dirty hands and when she put her hand out to shake mine, I had no choice but to receive it with the bow to go with it (this made me laugh to myself actually).

She was very friendly and asked a few questions and didn't even question the dirt on my hands. After, I nearly fainted when I realized I had just met the Queen, dirty handed!

 

[randomlyKeira]

I'm not sure if it is considered "protocol", but Queen elizabeth II detests for women to wear pants in her presence. I don't believe it really has any backing in any real "protocol", but more in her old fashioned ways. She doesn't like her lady's in waiting or any of her courtiers that are women to wear pants around her, and wearing a skirt without tights in her presence is considered violation of protocal.

 

[MARG]

I'm not sure if it is considered "protocol", but Queen elizabeth II detests for women to wear pants in her presence.

She must have really loved the state visit to New Zealand when the Prime Minister wore a wonderful dress trouser suit to the Official State Banquet. She is, after all, a lady! Helen, that is.

 

[joko]

... She doesn't like her lady's in waiting or any of her courtiers that are women to wear pants around her, and wearing a skirt without tights in her presence is considered violation of protocal.

My mum always says to me: A real lady always wears tights, it doesn’t matter how warm it is outside. And I couldn’t and wouldn’t believe this and as a result I’ve got a book about right behaviour and there is it also written…

 

[Menarue]

There was a time when a woman couldn´t wear trousers in the presence of Spanish royalty but that has certainly become something of the past.

 

[ashelen]

My mum always says to me: A real lady always wears tights, it doesn’t matter how warm it is outside. And I couldn’t and wouldn’t believe this and as a result I’ve got a book about right behaviour and there is it also written…

i knew this too, a real lady use tights, fo this i was thinking too about CP Mary this week end with the short dress and sandals and no tights! i was surprise!

 

[Vecchiolarry]

Hi,

I have no doubt that The Queen has seen everything in the way of 'gaffs' & 'embarrassments' in her presence. And, she probably just chuckles to herself and then she and Prince Philip have a good laugh later on.
After all, they probably don't get much real humour from everybody around them, all acting "correctly"....


Canadacub:
As for you presenting a dirt covered glove to shake her hand - - she wouldn't bat an eye over that as she is many times in the stables herself and handling horses and dogs all the time.
And also, she comes readily equipped always with spare clean gloves - either in her handbag or a lady-in-waiting's handbag.
No sweat there, chum!! I'm glad you met her....

Larry

 

[lilnana]

I image if you covered in paint, that would be so much worse because then you would have been red handed.

 

[randomlyKeira]

There was a time when a woman couldn´t wear trousers in the presence of Spanish royalty but that has certainly become something of the past.

Well, yeah! Princess Letizia rarely wears something different, does she?

 

[Prince of Chota]

Well, if a lady wants to wear a pant-suit (when a suit is appropriate), that is her choice. As long as it looks neat and clean, fine. Gala dinners...are a different story.

Her Majesty does come from a different generation, when pants automatically were equated with extremely casual daily use. I don't think she exactly stews over it, anymore. Maybe back in the 70s or even the 80s, when it was less common for business affairs.

 

[MDS]

I think most of the royals are used to strangers engaging in conversation with them and take it as part of their job. Frederick and Mary seem to do, and my aunt actually met the queen Margrethe II's father Frederick IX back when he was king on a trip to Skt. Peters cathedral in Rome, and he was very friendly and down to earth and not offended at all by being recognised and spoken to by one of his subjects. He actually engaged in a long conversation with her. But then again he was wellknown for being relaxed, so maybe it also depends on which royal it is and how relaxed they are. And also how they appear in the situation. If they look stressed out, I think I would leave them alone.

 

[Odette]

I doubt that nowdays with all the security alert to everyone's intentions, any bodyguard will let a passing byer stop and engage a royal in a conversation.
It is a lovely encounter your aunt had with K Frederick but those were other times and royals could be a little more relaxed.
With regard to etiquette I would agree with other posters that no one should address any royal unless that royal shows interest in talking to them.

 

[MDS]

I'm not saying that you should engage in a conversation if they don't seem interested, I'm just saying that many of them are likely to smile or nod if they pass you by, which I agree rarely happens at random. At official turn ups, it often happens, however. For example I heard on the news that the officials have to plan twice as much time for the crownprince couple to walk down the street than the queen and the prince, because they want to say hello and shake hands with everybody. I think it's like with most other people, you have to have a sense of the situation. But why not nod or say hello, your likely to be looking at them anyway, so why not act friendly.

 

[Odette]

A long time ago I saw Princess Grace on the street. She was alone with her bodyguard. She had a lovely smile on her face but did not seem to encourage any more than a nod. Besides I was transfixed and could not utter a word even if she spoke.
With regard to those walks about town where people hang over the barrier stretching their hands for a handshake, I guess everything goes.
I agree with you that all depends on the moment and if they give the green light that to approach them is allowed.

 

[MDS]

That's exciting, was she as pretty in reality? Yes, it probably also depends on the size of the country, here in denmark there are rarely barriers, when they go for a walkabout but it's probably a different story in britain for example.

 

[R_Bee]

I probably wouldn't approach a royal if I saw him/her out in public, because I would feel like I was invading their space. Actually, I wouldn't approach any well-known person (politician, movie star, athlete, etc.) if I saw them while out and about for the same reason. You just never know how well people are going to react to being approached like that, and I wouldn't want to upset anyone. Plus, security would probably try to hurry me away anyway.

 

[Odette]

That's exciting, was she as pretty in reality? Yes, it probably also depends on the size of the country, here in denmark there are rarely barriers, when they go for a walkabout but it's probably a different story in britain for example.

I saw her in Lausanne Switzerland on the street. She looked exactly like the photos and she was beautiful. No one went near her and she was actually walking in the middle of the pedestrian street.
It is an "awkward" feeling to be so close to someone like a royal and I suppose even if someone would talk, I'd lose my voice from the emotion.....BTW I am talking about true royals

 

[Odette]

I probably wouldn't approach a royal if I saw him/her out in public, because I would feel like I was invading their space. Actually, I wouldn't approach any well-known person (politician, movie star, athlete, etc.) if I saw them while out and about for the same reason. You just never know how well people are going to react to being approached like that, and I wouldn't want to upset anyone. Plus, security would probably try to hurry me away anyway.

I feel exactly the same way.