Originally Posted by maria-olivia
What is easier a communer who marries a Princess or a communer who marries a Prince ?
Your question allows the possibility of a male commoner marrying/in a committed relationship with a prince (which even in this day and age would unlikely be public and/or celebrated).
But I believe that this is a gender and title issue. Your question addresses commoners, and I agree that a great deal of latitude is granted for any royal or former royal marrying into a royal family. As far as gender, IMO it is always more difficult for a woman. In this forum and on every blog, broadcast, etc. a woman involved with a royal prince is immediately assessed according to her appearance and her worthiness is determined by that assesssment. With men, like Daniel, they are judged according to their financial success. It really has only been in the last year that people really speak about his appearance and it's mainly directed at those eyeglasses. In prior years, people sometimes mentioned in passing the casual nature of his attire but it wasn't a BIG issue. The appropriateness/success with his gymnasiums has been discussed as acceptable or not but even those discussions have gone away.
In contrast, I've never heard mention of Jonas' ripped jeans and casual clothing he wears in pictures with Madeleine. No one has spoken of the appropriateness of Jonas, also a commoner. True, as a lawyer he is more educated than Daniel, but it doesn't mean he is better or worse. And many lawyers, while educated, aren't the most moral or redeeming people in the world.
I don't know the percentages, but I'm sure that the overwhelming majority of discussions about Mary and Marie in Denmark focuses on how they look or what they wore. With Mette-Marit and Letizia, there were "other issues" to discuss, but after those were no longer interesting as an issue - straight to the hair, clothes, etc.
Probably the most intelligent and accomplished crown princess is Masako, and those qualities are now non-existent in discussions of her and and have been for most of her time with Naruhito. Maxima is perhaps the most educated of the European commoner-born princesses, and you'd never know it because the media doesn't make that an issue and board discussions focus on her eccentric style.
It has even happened with Camilla in England. One day she was the homewrecker, then when Diana's manipulations became more public it was less about her guilt and more about whether or not she would ever be queen, and then when they decided to get married it was like "okay, we forgive you for being a whore but you need to do something with that hair."
With all of the non-royal men who have married into royal families, there is almost no discussion of their appearance and very little about their financial success/business/careers. I don't recall any appearance discussions about Carlos Morales, Jaime Marichalar, Inaki Urdangarin, Yoshiki Kuroda, or Tord Magnuson.
The other issue that makes it difficult is beauty rather than appearance. If someone is perceived as beautiful/handsome, then they are deemed acceptable. If not, they are not. No one that I know of who has married into a royal family has been overweight (even by just 20 pounds). All of the men and women who have married into royal families in the last decade of so, in my opinion, would be described as good-looking, at the least. The only one that I've read any negative comments about is Rym Brahimi of Jordan. Because she isn't glamorous and has plainer features (although to me she is similar in appearance and style to Claire of Belgium), some folks called her plain or ugly, completely discounting her accomplishments as a journalist AND the fact that Ali chose her. Camilla received many negative comments about her appearance initially, but I believe most of that was driven by Diana-lovers or from people who couldn't accept the destruction of the true-life fairy tale. And it seems most people agree now that Camilla is an attractive woman.
I truly wonder what it would have been like if all the roles were reversed and all the commoners had been royal and vice-versa in the past 30-50 year. (The following names are chosen based on my opinion and my observations of what board members and society as a whole consider as beautiful/handsome. If I offend, it is not intentional) If they weren't royal, what would the discussions have been about Charles' beady eyes and big ears? Laurent or Alexia's weight? Stephanie's haircuts and mannish figure? Madeleine's tan? or the overall appearance of Alexander of Schaumberg-Lippe? Would Anne of England or Elena of Spain, who both have amazing figures but unfortunate faces, been welcomed into their respective - or any other - royal families? The race of Angela of Liechtenstein has been discussed, but most refer to her as beautiful. Another beautiful black woman is the singer/actress Queen Latifah. If Angela had looked like her, would she have been accepted?
Here's a real stretch...If William of Wales suddenly said that he was engaged to a divorced woman and, in royal fashion, introduced her to the world at a press conference, and she looked like Juliana of the Netherlands when she was in her twenties...would the public and media receive her the way they did Letizia? or his mother? would she receive more or less criticism than William's stepmother?
Here's another...who would recieve more grief from the media and the public - the committed male partner of Lord Frederik Windsor or the Juliana look-alike from the previous example? Even if she was the most stylish and elegantly-dressed woman, I think the "Juliana" would recieve more criticism. Obviously, many of the wealthiest families include unattractive people and, due to inbreeding, many royals or former royal families have the same. Criticism of commoners marrying into royalty don't account for the fact that it usually results in children who more closely match the fairy-tale/romantic/societal standard of beauty/handsomeness for royalty.
I know...I'm really wordy. I'm still going off into other tangents (what if Diana had been 13 years older than Charles instead of the other way around? etc) and I'll probably continue to do so. So I'm going to finish with this:
Daniel and Victoria look beautiful in the photos (both in appearance and spirit). The future queen looks very happy and healthy and I wish them all the best in the next chapter of their lives.
For any of you who bothered to read this far...WOW! You must really like discussion boards.
And since the AFC Championship Game (American football) is about to start, I will bid you all adieu. GO COLTS!