Did the Queen act appropriately in the days following Diana's death?

[Osipi]

I like what you wrote. As you said.. this was an event that was never seen before and hopefully will not be seen again. It was an death so unexpected that I think NO one really had a clue how to deal with it and even today... 13 years later... we're still looking at something that changed history.
It was one of those times when "the world stood still".. such as JFK's assasination and 9/11 and the WTC and the capture of Saddam Hussien and his hanging. We all watched and felt emotions. The Union Jack was flown at half mast although the Royal Standard over BP is the norm.. means the Queen is in residence.

The Queen herself acted on protocol. the public was demanding a flag at half mast. Charles I think was the biggest go between on this one and "non negotiable"... he didn't have to fly to Paris and escort the body back to Diana's homeland but he did. As far as the mention on that Sunday's service... I think it was wise to NOT mention it. It was all so new to the boys that if a mention WAS made, perhaps they'd have a crowd of people gawking at the boys.. it was still new and hurting and I do think the family wanted to protect them as much as they could. The public outcry did little to think of what effect it would all have on Diana's sons. HM was very protective of this factor and decided they'd be best off at Balmoral. As its been pointed out.. we saw.. for the first time.. Gramma Lilibet put family first.

One thing that stood out for me and it was poignant is the story Paul Burrell wrote. The last night before the funeral Diana's coffin was at her home in Kensington Palace and he sat with her in vigil the entire night. She did come home once more.

 

[Jaya]

Somewhere in her speech tribute to Diana on television, the Queen was supposed to say" and we loved her so much" but left it out totally apparently. I do not know if this is truth or fiction.For all her popularity Diana had sometimes been a thorn in the side of the BRF with her divulging the truth about things so I think the Queen was at a loss as to what to do.Prince Charles who had experienced her popularity first hand realized what had to be done without skipping a beat.
The Queen was thankfully led by Prince Charles who knew what a phenomenon Diana was to the world.

 

[sirhon11234]

I don't think the Queen needed to say that. She didn't have to validate to the world that she loved and deeply cared for Diana. Some people forget that Queen knew the Princess since Diana was a baby. I never understood why the conspiracy theorists claimed that the Queen possibly had Diana offed. Its unthinkable.

 

[Mermaid1962]

Conspiracy theories need someone to blame, either the Queen or Prince Charles or the Duke of Edinburgh or the landmine merchants or MI6. Diana, through Her True Story and the Panorama interview, had already made her former husband and her in-laws out to be her enemies. It's not a long stretch, for those so inclined, to take what Diana said and go "Aha...she was right!" To think that people who spend their lives bettering the lives of other people could order a "hit" on someone in their own family is ridiculous.

I got to watch "The Queen" (the movie) last night. I think that possibly Blair was the source for much of the script, because he comes out looking really, really good.

 

[MARG]

I got to watch "The Queen" (the movie) last night. I think that possibly Blair was the source for much of the script, because he comes out looking really, really good.

Hmmm. You noticed that too. I think the book is more about what he would have liked to have said and done but couldn't get past HM's steely gaze. I think they call that literary license don't they? Dream on!

 

[Catherine Helvin]

It seems to me that the Queen was in a tricky position because obviously, her grandsons came first but I do feel that she could have made a statement from Balmoral.

 

[Iluvbertie]

It seems to me that the Queen was in a tricky position because obviously, her grandsons came first but I do feel that she could have made a statement from Balmoral.

She did.

If you go back one page in this thread to post #405 you will find links to the statements that the Queen and Charles issued from Balmoral on the day Diana died.

Queen Elizabeth II and Prince Charles said in statements early Sunday that they were "deeply shocked and distressed by this terrible news."

 

[PrincessKaimi]

Having a large family myself, with all manner of vicissitudes (including a death of a young person in a car accident), I can say that it is not easy to come up with a public response to a personal tragedy. It is especially difficult when relationships have not all been amicable right before the death.

 

[sirhon11234]

The relationships between Diana, Charles, and the Queen was very amicable at the time of Diana's passing.

 

[Mirabel]

Conspiracy theories need someone to blame, either the Queen or Prince Charles or the Duke of Edinburgh or the landmine merchants or MI6. Diana, through Her True Story and the Panorama interview, had already made her former husband and her in-laws out to be her enemies. It's not a long stretch, for those so inclined, to take what Diana said and go "Aha...she was right!" To think that people who spend their lives bettering the lives of other people could order a "hit" on someone in their own family is ridiculous.

Of course! Nobody ever dies by accident...there is always some murky plot to commit murder for some lame reason. (Like not wanting Diana to marry a Muslim- why would they care? I would think Charles would be delighted; if anything could damage Diana's popularity, that probably could.)

No, I think the Queen simply did not realize the impact Diana's death would have on the British public; her chief concern was for her grandsons and she felt the funeral arrangements should be left to the Spencers. Charles had a clearer idea and luckily got his way.

 

[HRHHermione]

The movie

I'm watching "The Queen" as we speak. And I think it does a tremendous job of sympathetically depicting exactly what a tricky position HM was in- and how gracefully she handled it.

Does anyone else get choked up at the point in the movie where the little girl gives Helen Mirren the flowers?

 

[Hissy]

Yes, the scene with the little girl giving HER flowers instead of putting them on the massive mounds for Diana was very moving. As well the scenes to do with the stag.

If we take it out of the royal family and think of this as your former daughter in law (who you had a strained relationship with) dies in a car accident and you are expected to suddenly be wailing with grief and footing the bill for her funeral. That is too much for anyone.

I think the Queen did fine in an unbearably difficult situation.

 

[SirBilsland]

Princess Margaret behaved dispicably, when the family were stood at the gates of BP waiting on the cortege passed, she looked as if she'd rather be anywhere than there, pulling faces and huffing. She only bowed 4 or 5 seconds after the Queen made the gesture. When the Queen Mother died, she burnt all of Diana's letters to HM.

 

[georgiea]

It seems to me that the Queen was in a tricky position because obviously, her grandsons came first but I do feel that she could have made a statement from Balmoral.

I also have your view about the Queen's actions about a speech on TV. I read the post from Ilovbertie to now know that there was a statement issued.

I can only come up with the reason for the delay in the Queen's speech is this: I know Diana, Princess of Wales untimely death was a shock to BRF, so maybe it took all those days for the Queen to compose herself to talk publicly about the Princess. After all she is human like the rest of us.

 

[Le Prince Royale]

I do believe the Queen acted correctly and that we must remember that the Media is not always right with the information they send out.

 

[pgm1952]

This is perhaps the one area of Her Majesty's reign that could have been done better (her children's broken marriages aside for now). Diana's death was an extraordinary event and Her Majesty is not accustomed to being at the center of something so phenomenal and intense. I wouldn't blame her if she felt on the spot, in a position to show a reaction rather than read an official speech as is the norm for her. She is not unfeeling of course but she did not feel the loss in the same way as millions of others did. Perhaps this is a feeble argument but have any of us not felt so sad when someone we knew died, no matter how close? We all process death differently and the Queen is no exception. Hers has always been a detatched kind of grief, never public but usually sincere.

 

[MARG]

I wouldn't blame her if she felt on the spot, in a position to show a reaction rather than read an official speech as is the norm for her.

Since was no chance she was going to be ambushed with a microphone shoved in her face, with the public expecting her to rend her garments and sob uncontrollably, the above is totally irrelevant.

She is not unfeeling of course but she did not feel the loss in the same way as millions of others did.

Wow! Now the Queen is so remote and indifferent that she did not feel . . . . . Damned right she didn't! She felt it where it hurts, in her heart.

Unlike the millions of "fans" who did not know Diana who beat their chests and howled, HM had known her since she was a child. She was also her ex-daughter-in-law and the mother of her grandchildren. Feel the loss the same way as millions of others did . . . . I should bloody well hope not!

Perhaps this is a feeble argument but have any of us not felt so sad when someone we knew died, no matter how close? We all process death differently and the Queen is no exception. Hers has always been a detached kind of grief, never public but usually sincere.

Not only is it a feeble argument, it is a damnable insult. What did you expect? She, weeping into the camera's lenses surrounded by her devastated family so as to enable the "millions of people" to judge whether she (and the rest of the family) did in fact grieve to your satisfaction.

How dare you presume to analyse the Queen and find her wanting in her appearance of grief . . . . indicating a lack of grief and inferring that all these "millions of people" grieved more than the Queen because,as you put it, she " had not felt so sad when someone we knew died, no matter how close! This was a death in her family not a Soap Opera where you can all pretend you are part of the story and loose track of reality.

You do not know how she and her family grieved. You were not there. You may disagree with her decision to keep the family at Windsor. You may agree or disagree with the type of funeral, but you may not judge the Queen's emotions because you do not know her and you do not know how she felt.

 

[Kataryn]

You do not know how she and her family grieved. You were not there. You may disagree with her decision to keep the family at Windsor. You may agree or disagree with the type of funeral, but you may not judge the Queen's emotions because you do not know her and you do not know how she felt.

Fully agree with you here, MARG!

An another point: I think we've seen in the Royal Wedding that William was very concious of the myths surrounding his late mother - like calling Catherine his "rock" or giving her the ring to include his mother in the relationship etc. So not to invite Tony Blair was a clear sign (at least for me) that William has not been okay with the way Blair handled the situation after his mother's death - talk of the people's princess etc., forcing the Royals back to London, catering to the mass hysteria. I'm pretty convinced Willaim knows exactly how dangerous it is for Royals to cater to the masses and that's the Royal "mystique" that protects them.

I personally believe the way William and Harry are interacting with their family show that it was the right kind of reaction after Diana's death to help them cope with the situation.

 

[expat]

Princess Margaret behaved dispicably, when the family were stood at the gates of BP waiting on the cortege passed, she looked as if she'd rather be anywhere than there, pulling faces and huffing. She only bowed 4 or 5 seconds after the Queen made the gesture. When the Queen Mother died, she burnt all of Diana's letters to HM.

Princess Margaret was no hypocrite, she didn't approve of Diana's behaviour, she didn't like her and she would have preferred not to be at the gates watching the mass hysteria of people who had not known Diana or her real character at all.
Neither the Queen mother or Princess Margaret had that long to live after that and it is to be remembered that Princess Margaret was suffering from ill health for some years.
She was the extremely beautiful daughter of a King, sister of a Queen who believed that members of the royal family should always put duty first. If she looked uncomfortable, then she was.

 

[EIIR]

Personally, I was and continue to be disappointed that the Queen gave in to the voyeuristic baying of the press and the public at the time to 'see' the grief of her family. How on earth was it anyone's business how deeply or otherwise the royal family felt the loss of a former family member? What right do we have to see their private emotions and feelings?

The whole episode was a shameful one for Britain. The mass hysteria over the death of someone who, lets face it, didn't deserve the public howling and weeping was an utter embarrassment. She did a bit of charity work but then so does the whole of the royal family. She was not Ghandi or Churchill or Mandela.

The Queen should have released a statement saying that she preferred that the family remain in private to help her grandsons deal with the death of their mother. There should then have been a private funeral where two young boys would not have had to be paraded in front of the whole world to provide 'grief porn' to fill tv and newspaper pages.

The Queen allowed herself to be controlled by a baying media and a government which would gladly have seen the back of the monarchy. It was one of the worst moments in the history of the monarchy in my opinion.

 

[Kataryn]

The Queen allowed herself to be controlled by a baying media and a government which would gladly have seen the back of the monarchy. It was one of the worst moments in the history of the monarchy in my opinion.

A Royal family is always in a way controlled by the media and their people. Normally the RF performs public duties in representation of the people and the media makes these events public, so that more people can feel represented than attended the actual event. They all have an interest to show the representatives of the country, its tradition, possibilities and fame in a positive way because this reflects what the people themselves feel.

But not all the media is system-conform and wants to integrate the British people and their representatives. Scandal sells and Royal scandals sell even more papers. Diana understood that system extremely well and had played the public via her media contacts for quite some time.

So when she died the media had several points on the agenda: to deflect from their methods which were partly responsible for Diana's death, to create emotion and scandal and thus raise the public interest in their products (papers, advertisement breaks on TV). To represent the people. To force the Royals' and politicians' hands (playing power games).

What they didn't understand is that allowing the masses to decide in an emotional situation might lead to uncontrollable behaviour - and from some point onwards the media did not longer control the game, but had to go with it. And Blair showed what popularist he was: giving up Britains Royal dignitiy and traditions to cater to the masses.

No wonder the queen took her time to react to that boiling pot of resentiments, grief and (media-induced) enmity of the people who should be their people.

 

[camelot23ca]

I think a private period of family grieving was what the royals intended, judging from their behavior immediately after Diana's death. And looking back on that period it's easy to say in retrospect that they should have stayed on that course despite what the public, the press and the government ,(not to mention the Spencers?),were demanding. But saying that now, with the benefit of many years' hindsight, when things have settled down and in fact many people have come to see the public's reaction as ridiculous is one thing. But if the royal family had had not bent at the time I wonder what kind of hysterical vitriol they would have subjected themselves to, and how much additional pain that would have caused the young princes. IMO the Queen correctly saw that people weren't going to let up until they got their public spectacle and did the best she could with a horrible set of circumstances.

 

[MARG]

In this they certainly weren't helped by a Prime Minister suddenly thrust into the international limelight and milking it for all it was worth both nationally and internationally. And let us never forget we have him to thank for that ghastly iconic spectral term "the people's Princess", which continues to haunt us to this day.

 

[olebabs]

In my opinion, it was wrong of her to first deny Diana any royal protocol and to demand that her body being kept at a funeral home. Not so much from a public point of view, but I can't help thinking what kind of message it sent to the boys.

My respect for prince Charles grew emmensely, because whatever feelings he himself had, he was able to do the decent thing.

And before I get eaten alive, I know that the Queen is duty first and there was no precendence for this, but there is human decency, which in my book always comes first.

 

[fandesacs2003]

NO she did not act appropriate, but she understood the situation and she cought up. This is an intelligent person.

 

[Renata4711]

With hindsight...

The Queen should have gone down to London immediately.
She should have spoken to the Country.
Wales and Spencer should have behaved better.

I'm glad that the British found it in themselves to show raw emotion.

 

[Iluvbertie]

So she should have left her grieving grandsons, who had just lost their mother, to play to the baying mob? The mob should have been ashamed of themselves making demands on the grandmother of the children of Diana. One person who would have been delighted that the Queen and the rest of the royal family put the boys first would have been Diana - who advocated exactly that attitude - that there were times when duty had to be put aside for family. What you are advocating is the exact opposite of what Diana would have wanted.

Wales behaved impeccably - he spoke up for the mother of his children and represented them to his mother.

Spencer should have been locked up for treason for that eulogy which was a blantant attack on his monarch.

I was horrified at the mob mentality of the British public but they were stirred up by the media who simply wanted to divert attention from their own role in Diana's death because if they did that then they would have to also point out to Diana's fans that they were also responsible for her death.

 

[IloveCP]

I think she thought what she thought was the norm.She thought she was being proper because Diana was divorced.

 

[Iluvbertie]

I think she thought what she thought was the norm.She thought she was being proper because Diana was divorced.

I think she was being a loving grandmother in whose homes her grandsons were staying when they got the news that their beloved mother died.

If that was your next door neighbour what would you expect her to do? Go to work or stay with the grandsons for a week or so? What would you employer expect you to do? I know what mine would say but of course the Queen's employers - the mob - felt that they were more entitled to the Queen's presence the than two children who knew the deceased best and who were actually staying with their grandmother at the time.

 

[fandesacs2003]

So she should have left her grieving grandsons, who had just lost their mother, to play to the baying mob? .

Nobody said this. She was not obliged to be CONSTANTLY out! She could come back to London WITH the boys, address to the people 5 minutes, and return back home WITH the boys! Do not say that staying in holidays she was CONSTANTLY with the boys!