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  #561  
Old 08-02-2011, 05:25 PM
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Ghostnight, I am much closer in age to Sarah than you, and I have raised a child. A good parent helps their child to launch themselves into life with confidence and the skills needed to succeed. Sarah, instead, is a leach, a parasite, a vampire, sucking off her daughters for their reflected glory to feed her own 'need' for acclaim. In doing so she not only fails as a parent, she also makes their lives immeasurable harder because her public disgraces are tied, unfairly, to her daughters. She also often speaks 'for' them ('B & E feel this way' 'B & E are this' "B & E did" etc.) she has absolutely no right to speak 'for' her daughters - she can speak for herself and how she feels and what she does, but no one else, a basic concept she can't seem to grasp. We've seen articles w/ Sarah's claims about how Andrew knows the CforA scandal isn't true, how Diana would have 'felt' about the wedding (never mind that Diana had frozen her out over 1 yr. before her death) how Catherine will do in her new role (never mind that Sarah has never met her,) etc.. She gets away w/ it because the RF refuses to wallow in the mud w/ her - but it is particularly hard, IMO, for her daughters.
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  #562  
Old 08-02-2011, 05:43 PM
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Originally Posted by ghost_night554 View Post
What I do think needs to happen though is for Sarah to continue counseling especially in the area about money. Cause IMO right now that's her biggest problem. She can't allow the money to run out again. After that then she can deal with her addiction to approval. She needs to lay low for a while before she jumps into anything huge.
With her "Finding Sarah" series and release of the book in the not so distant past along with fees paid for interviews in various media forms, the money to Sarah seems to be rolling in. The only upcoming possibility I've heard of Sarah doing is some Big Brother program which I imagine will pay handsomely too. I would hazard to guess that with her debts cleared and money seeming rolling into her bank account, Sarah feels all's well with the world. She seems to think in the now with little thought of what may be down the road. What I don't think she is seeing that over the years she's gradually been sliding from the A list (as a royal family member) down the alphabet in the public's eye and this trend is most likely to continue. The stark realization is going to happen sooner or later that she'll wake up and find there's absolutely nothing "huge" for her to jump into and there is very little interest in her or her "brand" to sustain her.
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  #563  
Old 08-02-2011, 06:24 PM
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Rather like the proverbial old actor who continually calls his management to see if there is any work available for him. You are correct, IMO, again Sarah doesn't seem to even entertain the idea that people may/will lose interest in her, let alone actively dislike her. In this case I am thinking in terms of the US, I think she has probably already burned her bridges in the UK. As others have said, the really sad part is the shadows it casts on her daughters and even her former husband.
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  #564  
Old 08-02-2011, 06:32 PM
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I think that the money hunger is a symptom, not a disease.

To fix the money hunger, she's got to go a helluva lot deeper than Dr Phil. And I think she lacks the courage to go deep.
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  #565  
Old 08-02-2011, 06:44 PM
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Sarah, instead, is a leach, a parasite, a vampire, sucking off her daughters for their reflected glory to feed her own 'need' for acclaim. In doing so she not only fails as a parent, she also makes their lives immeasurable harder because her public disgraces are tied, unfairly, to her daughters. She also often speaks 'for' them ('B & E feel this way' 'B & E are this' "B & E did" etc.) she has absolutely no right to speak 'for' her daughters - she can speak for herself and how she feels and what she does, but no one else, a basic concept she can't seem to grasp
I am so hopeful that after the princesses get married, they really cut more ties with their mother all the more. I honestly suspect that Fergie doesn't want them to make a nice marriage because then she would be left behind, unable to use them since they would have lives of their own.
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  #566  
Old 08-02-2011, 07:34 PM
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Originally Posted by NotAPretender View Post
I think that the money hunger is a symptom, not a disease.

To fix the money hunger, she's got to go a helluva lot deeper than Dr Phil. And I think she lacks the courage to go deep.
I think you're right. Cuz if she goes deeper, she's got to confront all her uglies and that's not where she wants to go. Pity, could clear a lot of crap up.
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  #567  
Old 08-02-2011, 07:44 PM
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Originally Posted by sndral View Post
Ghostnight, I am much closer in age to Sarah than you, and I have raised a child. A good parent helps their child to launch themselves into life with confidence and the skills needed to succeed. Sarah, instead, is a leach, a parasite, a vampire, sucking off her daughters for their reflected glory to feed her own 'need' for acclaim. In doing so she not only fails as a parent, she also makes their lives immeasurable harder because her public disgraces are tied, unfairly, to her daughters. She also often speaks 'for' them ('B & E feel this way' 'B & E are this' "B & E did" etc.) she has absolutely no right to speak 'for' her daughters - she can speak for herself and how she feels and what she does, but no one else, a basic concept she can't seem to grasp. We've seen articles w/ Sarah's claims about how Andrew knows the CforA scandal isn't true, how Diana would have 'felt' about the wedding (never mind that Diana had frozen her out over 1 yr. before her death) how Catherine will do in her new role (never mind that Sarah has never met her,) etc.. She gets away w/ it because the RF refuses to wallow in the mud w/ her - but it is particularly hard, IMO, for her daughters.
I'm obviously not a mother but I sorta see where your going with this. I don't think she's leeching onto them but I do understand the frustration of her speaking on their behalf or Diana's behalf or Andrew's for example. I know when my parents speak on my behalf it drives me bonkers cause half the time that's not really how I feel. I do agree also a mother should help her children grown and succeed. I can't speak for what goes on behind closed doors. None of us know their personal relationship but I do hope Bea and Eugenie can see the wrong doings of their mother and not follow down that path.

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Originally Posted by Osipi View Post
With her "Finding Sarah" series and release of the book in the not so distant past along with fees paid for interviews in various media forms, the money to Sarah seems to be rolling in. The only upcoming possibility I've heard of Sarah doing is some Big Brother program which I imagine will pay handsomely too. I would hazard to guess that with her debts cleared and money seeming rolling into her bank account, Sarah feels all's well with the world. She seems to think in the now with little thought of what may be down the road. What I don't think she is seeing that over the years she's gradually been sliding from the A list (as a royal family member) down the alphabet in the public's eye and this trend is most likely to continue. The stark realization is going to happen sooner or later that she'll wake up and find there's absolutely nothing "huge" for her to jump into and there is very little interest in her or her "brand" to sustain her.
Well IMO she's gone into overkill now if she can just go away from a good year or so I think it would not only be good for her but for us. I think she should focus on herself and sort her problems out. Cause I can tell you this you cannot solve a problem like this in a few months it takes years. It takes time and now that she's shared her journey payed off her debt etc she needs to lay low she can't continue this over exposure.

I also have to add I would never want the princess' to cut their mother off IMO that would be a bit too cruel it's not as if Sarah murdered anyone but I do agree that her issues with money have to go deeper then Dr. Phill or Suze Orman which is why I suggested she continue therapy and lay low.

I'm sure some of you may see my opinions "soft" but like I said earlier who the heck am I to judge her we don't live in her life every day we can't know what it's like. We don't even know what her progress is like now, only time will tell. Until then I'll give her the benefit of the doubt.
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  #568  
Old 08-02-2011, 08:08 PM
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The money area, yes, and also the honesty area. She keeps mentioning "self-sabotage", which she also talked about in MY STORY. Saying that she self-sabotages is IMO a softer way for her to say that she's done things that are wrong and, in fact, immoral. People have used the term narcissistic to describe Sarah; and I think that might be true to a degree. For example, she has a need to be the center of attention, to be a celebrity, to impress people by spending money on them, and she says things like "I'm a good mother." The thing about narcissists is that they're terrified of revealing their true selves, and I think that's something that Sarah will have to do: confront her true self as to the selling of Andrew and the bag of money. I don't think that she'll be able to genuinely move forward until she confronts that aspect of her personality (dishonestly and denial) and puts it to rest.


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Originally Posted by ghost_night554 View Post
What I do think needs to happen though is for Sarah to continue counseling especially in the area about money. Cause IMO right now that's her biggest problem. She can't allow the money to run out again. After that then she can deal with her addiction to approval. She needs to lay low for a while before she jumps into anything huge.
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  #569  
Old 08-02-2011, 09:14 PM
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he thing about narcissists is that they're terrified of revealing their true selves, and I think that's something that Sarah will have to do: confront her true self as to the selling of Andrew and the bag of money. I don't think that she'll be able to genuinely move forward until she confronts that aspect of her personality (dishonestly and denial) and puts it to rest.
We've talked about this before. Confronting herself with the truth might destroy her. At her age and level of denial I think it's going to have to be Andrew and the girls to bring her out of it. Specifically in private.
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  #570  
Old 08-02-2011, 09:17 PM
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Yes, agreed. I'd like to see her go out of public view for awhile, get treatment, and then be a dignified, scandal-free mother-of-the-bride someday.


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We've talked about this before. Confronting herself with the truth might destroy her. At her age and level of denial I think it's going to have to be Andrew and the girls to bring her out of it. Specifically in private.
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  #571  
Old 08-02-2011, 09:22 PM
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I think Andrew is part of this scheme. I don't see his life any better than hers. His connections with all sorts of dubious people are covered up, because of who he is. I, think, they both love their children and they are who they are.
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  #572  
Old 08-02-2011, 10:12 PM
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Maybe the best thing for Sarah, Andrew and their daughters is to sort these things out privately. If they need help, they can do it privately.
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  #573  
Old 08-02-2011, 10:23 PM
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Originally Posted by sliver_bic View Post
We've talked about this before. Confronting herself with the truth might destroy her. At her age and level of denial I think it's going to have to be Andrew and the girls to bring her out of it. Specifically in private.
I think it's up to Andrew and HM, whether it destroys her or not is up to Sarah. Her daughters are not her keepers and it is not their job to sacrifice more of themselves for her sake. She's damaged them enough and let her be destroyed by the truth if she can't handle it.
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  #574  
Old 08-02-2011, 10:30 PM
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Maybe the best thing for Sarah, Andrew and their daughters is to sort these things out privately. If they need help, they can do it privately.
I agree I do think whatever issues they all may have they need to sort it out in private. Though I wouldn't go as far as to say she's destroyed her children but I do think if they are such a strong unit as they claim need to come together and sort this thing out otherwise it could keep coming back.I've studied psychology but I wouldn't call say she has narcissism from what I've learned that would mean you have a sense of superiority you pursue power at all costs and exploit others without remorse. I wouldn't go so far to say she has those symptoms. She does seem sorry about the NOTW scandal even if she doesn't seem to want to completely admit what happened. She does seem to want to please people and make herself look good but I kinda don't blame her when your under that type of scrutiny. Yes some of it she herself placed upon herself but some of it was just plain unfair.BTW Mermaid I may have just misunderstood what you meant by narcissistic if I have please let me know but I'm just gong by what knowledge I have from my course in Psychological Disorders.
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  #575  
Old 08-02-2011, 11:18 PM
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I reread my post, I didn't mean to sound patronizing, I just really have no tolerance for parents who use their children for fame, money or as emotional crutches (think the Lohan parents or Britney Spears' mom a while back.)
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Originally Posted by ghost_night554 View Post
I know when my parents speak on my behalf it drives me bonkers cause half the time that's not really how I feel.
Even worse, IMO is that in the Princess'es case, everything their mother blabs about them and their feelings is in the press, and they can't go to the press and say - no, mom is wrong about this or that.

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Originally Posted by ghost_night554 View Post
but I do think if they are such a strong unit as they claim need to.
The only person saying they are a strong (or close) unit lately has been Sarah. But because she says it so often, that is the perception, whether it's true or not.

I agree time out of the spotlight and counseling would be a good start for Sarah - based on her past behavior, dishonesty and spendthrift ways I predict that it won't happen, but it would be nice if it did and then the girls could enjoy what they deserve rather than always dealing with damage control due to mom.
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  #576  
Old 08-02-2011, 11:30 PM
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I don't think that she has Narcissistic Personality Disorder, but I think that she has narcissistic qualities.

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BTW Mermaid I may have just misunderstood what you meant by narcissistic if I have please let me know but I'm just gong by what knowledge I have from my course in Psychological Disorders.
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  #577  
Old 08-02-2011, 11:35 PM
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I reread my post, I didn't mean to sound patronizing, I just really have no tolerance for parents who use their children for fame, money or as emotional crutches (think the Lohan parents or Britney Spears' mom a while back.)
Same here; that is what I loathe the most about Sarah and find so unforgivable. My mother was the same and I am frankly sick of how these parents basically RUIN the lives of their children, making their kids clean up after them, placate them, and also squaander the best years of their kids, so that way THEY (the dysfunctional parent) gets to continue to be a kid.
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  #578  
Old 08-03-2011, 12:43 AM
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I don't think that she has Narcissistic Personality Disorder, but I think that she has narcissistic qualities.
Ah I understand. My mistake Mermaid

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I reread my post, I didn't mean to sound patronizing, I just really have no tolerance for parents who use their children for fame, money or as emotional crutches (think the Lohan parents or Britney Spears' mom a while back.)

Even worse, IMO is that in the Princess'es case, everything their mother blabs about them and their feelings is in the press, and they can't go to the press and say - no, mom is wrong about this or that.


The only person saying they are a strong (or close) unit lately has been Sarah. But because she says it so often, that is the perception, whether it's true or not.

I agree time out of the spotlight and counseling would be a good start for Sarah - based on her past behavior, dishonesty and spendthrift ways I predict that it won't happen, but it would be nice if it did and then the girls could enjoy what they deserve rather than always dealing with damage control due to mom.
I definitely understand what you mean now and I agree. As you guys can tell I do like Sarah I don't think she actually means bad in her actions but it's not how it always comes out sadly. I also think she doesn't actually think about what she's doing before she does it.
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  #579  
Old 08-03-2011, 01:35 AM
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Seems that Sarah is now backtracking her statements that her Mother beat her. She should not have said it in the first place, it wasn't smart.

Sarah Ferguson: 'My mother didn't beat me - it was just a joke' | Mail Online
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  #580  
Old 08-03-2011, 01:40 AM
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I don't believe Beatrice and Eugenie would allow their Mother to go into this venture, at least I would hope not. We all know the Queen would take a very, very dim view of this and it would be stopped.


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