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  #541  
Old 07-31-2011, 11:50 PM
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Originally Posted by Tsaritsa View Post
I did want to state that if there is a personality disorder here-and in the same way that I can't conceive that a sane person can deliberately carry out mass murder I can't believe that a person with a stable mindset can deliberately continue to act in a way that brings disgrace to herself and her family.
I'm not sure I agree with the concept of "personality disorder" in the sense of an illness that can be "treated." Secondly, I don't know Sarah personally and can't diagnose someone I don't know.

But I do agree with the statement that "I can't believe that a person with a stable mindset can deliberately act in a way that brings disgrace to herself and her family." would act like Sarah. I figure Sarah must want a happy life as much as the rest of us do, so why is she choosing to act in a manner that is sabotaging all her chances of living "happily ever after"? Like Dr. Phil apparently said, if Sarah just withdrew from the limelight, so many of her problems would be solved. But she is clinging to public life at all costs, even at the expense of her reputation. It's like Sarah thinks that negative attention is better than no attention.

Perhaps it's like a very delayed identity crisis. I think Sarah is denial and running away from something as fast as she can...and that "something" is the reality that she's no longer royal and is an ordinary person just like everyone else.
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  #542  
Old 08-01-2011, 12:28 AM
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Originally Posted by Mermaid1962 View Post
For those who saw the Sarah series, did she seem like she was "making a joke" when she talked about her parents? That's not the impression I have from those of you who've discussed it here.
I never talked about the hitting because I never heard it spoken about in the show 'Finding Sarah'.

I never heard it directly - Sarah said something in conversation with Dr Phil about being on the potty and her mother saying that she had to have the devil beaten out of her. That was all I recall. I do not recall that she said her mother did beat her. Dr Phil's reaction was to say that it was not okay for her mother to say that. This was where Sarah laughed and said that that was the way people talked - but Dr Phil emphasized that it was not okay. (Did I miss something here - did she say she got beaten - don't know - were we suppose to infer - my attention may have drifted). That's what I recall - but others should step forward if they saw it differently.

When I initially saw it I interpreted the exchange as two cultures clashing - British norms of speech with one's child decades ago and Dr Phil's heightened American sensibilities around 'child abuse'.

Is it possible that Sarah spoke more directly about this in her book?
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  #543  
Old 08-01-2011, 03:08 AM
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What demons infest this woman that she does this to herself and other people?
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  #544  
Old 08-01-2011, 04:09 AM
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(
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Originally Posted by rmay286 View Post
I'm not sure I agree with the concept of "personality disorder" in the sense of an illness that can be "treated." Secondly, I don't know Sarah personally and can't diagnose someone I don't know.

This is what I was trying to get across. PDs can be treated, but the chances of effecting a "cure" are remote and require a mindset along the lines of "I am out of step with the world. The world is not out of step with me" As you so rightly say, withdrawal from public life could solve many of her problems PROVIDED she truly believes the problems are hers rather than the rest of the worlds. It is your next sentence which could prove the sticking point-attention (of any kind) is lifeblood to those with HPD. They NEED to stand out in a crowd, many adopt a flamboyant dresscode which clearly states "I AM HERE," and whilst they eschew "ordinary" as boring, boring represents stability, so however they sabotage and disrupt their lives they maintain an undivided loyalty to whoever or whatever they see as "stability"..........


if Sarah just withdrew from the limelight, so many of her problems would be solved. But she is clinging to public life at all costs, even at the expense of her reputation. It's like Sarah thinks that negative attention is better than no attention.

............so if any of this can be attributed to Sarah, it is highly unlikely that she will accept that.....

.. she's no longer royal and is an ordinary person just like everyone else.
(My machine is now telling me that because this message has less than ten characters!!!! it cannot be sent)
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  #545  
Old 08-01-2011, 04:46 AM
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Originally Posted by Tsaritsa View Post
(

(My machine is now telling me that because this message has less than ten characters!!!! it cannot be sent)
Tsaritsa, its because you somehow got your text within the quote bars - do you see? Place this at the end of the quoted text [/QUOTE.] *without the period* and delete it at the end of your text and your post will show your text as yours - and not a quote - in your post.

For a quote you should have [QUOTE.] *without the period* at the beginning of the quote and [/QUOTE.] *without the period* at the end of the quote (if you're doing it 'manually'). Somehow you got your own post's text inside the quote bars so that the 'computer' did not 'recognize' any text from you - hence it told you there was no message to be sent.
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  #546  
Old 08-01-2011, 02:31 PM
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#543
We must be careful not to demonise another person, especially when we don't know them.
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  #547  
Old 08-01-2011, 03:39 PM
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Tyger, thankyou for your help. As you can see, technology is not my strong point!!!
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  #548  
Old 08-01-2011, 03:48 PM
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Originally Posted by Renata4711 View Post
#543
We must be careful not to demonise another person, especially when we don't know them.
You got that confused. To demonize someone is to portray them as being bad, wicked. To speak of someone's demons is to talk about the personal issues that affect them negatively.

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Originally Posted by AristoCat View Post
What demons infest this woman that she does this to herself and other people?
Envy which has led to greed.
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  #549  
Old 08-01-2011, 08:23 PM
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Originally Posted by AristoCat View Post
What demons infest this woman that she does this to herself and other people?
Don't know but am going to find out. I'm in position 8 of 8 for Sarah's new book for a hold on it at the library.
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  #550  
Old 08-01-2011, 08:36 PM
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Joking about being beaten as a child is not funny. She either was or wasn't. It's either yes or no on this issue. Sometimes you have to wonder about why she would say this and then say it didn't happen or if this was a way to get attention.
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  #551  
Old 08-01-2011, 08:44 PM
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I don't wonder at all about her emotional stability. She seems unstable to me, a person who needs constant approval but does things to make herself a pariah. I can't imagine telling those kinds of stories about my parents and then saying, "Oops! Just kidding, folks." Her sister Jane's comment was very telling, I think. If a person wanted to read between the lines, a person could interpret that Jane thinks that Sarah doesn't see things the way others see them; i.e. she might not be in the "real world."

Quote:
Originally Posted by nascarlucy View Post
Joking about being beaten as a child is not funny. She either was or wasn't. It's either yes or no on this issue. Sometimes you have to wonder about her emotional stability at times or if this was a way to get attention.
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  #552  
Old 08-01-2011, 08:46 PM
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I read her book hoping that at the end of it she would have some redeemable qualities but I just ended up feeling like a sucker for spending my $$. It was so self indulgent and all I kept thinking was "what would happen if she had some real problems?" All of her debts are for her personal indulgences and she seems to use her associations with Royalty albeit through her daughters to wipe her debt slate clean. Shame on you Sarah Ferguson! Shame on me for wasting my time and money reading about your silly life.
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  #553  
Old 08-01-2011, 09:54 PM
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I actually wonder about that too. What would happen if Sarah did have to face a real problem? Not one of her own making that she can't so simply get out of. I don't think she would cope, she barely copes now. I don't see her issues going away because she has done nothing to fix them or even admit to them. As long as there is someone to bail her out she will continue to spend!
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  #554  
Old 08-02-2011, 02:11 AM
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Some of you may just bite my head off for this but aren't we being just a tad bit harsh here? Am I the only one who feels sorry for her? I mean yes she's screwed up many times and yes she's been bailed out by Andrew. Honestly I don't think she has a personality disorder. Do I think she has a need for approval yes probably do I think she's changed? Well if we're all being honest here we don't personally know Sarah and maybe she has changed. I mean the way I see it is change doesn't happen overnight it's gradual there are days where it's easy and days which you find it harder. I think was it the View I watched last night I can't remember and she said that the whole her mom being cruel thing was taken so out of context so the Hello magazine interview is not the first time she has said this.. Which honestly I believe her because trust me I have said so many things in my life that have just come out completely wrong especially if the lingo isn't the same between the people communicating. I have huge problems with control so watching Sarah's show actually led me to learn alot alot about myself and so to me I don't see the show as something that was not taken seriously. I dunno why but at the end I felt she was getting better. I don't think she's perfect nor do I think she'll ever be especially in the public eye for so many years I think it's extremely difficult to go back to the way you used to be. I think it'll be a constant struggle for her. I do however think she should continue therapy I think she could only benefit from that. I think the only part that bugged me is her saying that the tape from May 2010 was taken out of context which honestly how was it taken out of context you said what you said you used Andrew's name that's the only part I do not understand. Besides that I feel we're being a little over judgmental. I understand this is a message board and we are allowed to voice our opinions but I believe unless you are in that person's shoes you cannot fully judge them. Also I really don't see her using Bea and Eugenie. Heck I saw nothing wrong with her admitting she's a good person and a good mother. Honestly it's not Sarah has murdered anyone for Christ sake and if we want to point fingers I'd blame Andrew for constantly bailing her out.

Sorry for my enormously long rant but had to get that out.
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  #555  
Old 08-02-2011, 02:25 AM
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I don't feel sorry for Sarah; but I do have some compassion for her because I think that there's something deeply wrong. Perhaps something that she can't control. Her interviews have kind of a rehearsed sound to them. She seems to keep saying the same phrases as if almost by rote or that someone has coached her to say things a certain way. Perhaps getting into trouble during the recession threw her off the deep end or something and made her so desperate that she lost any sense of what was right or wrong. The whole denial about the NOTW sting and her part in it shows that she has a real blind spot as to what she did. So is she really convinced that she didn't offer access to Andrew for $500,000 dollars? She's seen the video. If she continues to believe that there was no bag of money, even though that's clearly on the video, she's found some incredible way to deny that to herself. Maybe she just can't face the fact that she stooped so low and has to deny her actions to herself to keep herself together as much as she is.
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  #556  
Old 08-02-2011, 03:43 AM
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^No like the only thing that bothers me to this day is her whole denial of the NOTW scandal the rest I can look past I guess. From what I saw or felt in the series everytime it's brought up it really bothers her. I've learned when you start talking about something and it makes you uncomfortable it's most likely cause what your being told is true in this case there's not only audio but video of the situation so it's not like she can deny it the evidence is right there! He asked her " does that mean Andrew" and she goes "yeah" so what the heck is she trying to deny besides that I have nothing against her. But that's the one thing that still bothers me.
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  #557  
Old 08-02-2011, 12:42 PM
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Originally Posted by ghost_night554 View Post
Also I really don't see her using Bea and Eugenie. Heck I saw nothing wrong with her admitting she's a good person and a good mother.
She's not "admitting" she's a good person/good mother, she's boasting about it.

I find that when a person has to boast about such things, they generally are trying to convince themselves by convincing others.

It's trying to force another person to validate that of which you are unsure or refuse to face. That's why it's so crucial to call out the lies and untruths as they happen, and why the "suitcase of money" in the NOTW scandal is so critical to observe. Sarah continues to insist that it simply did not happen, the valise of money. It did, it's on tape, and she was the one walking out with it. Yet she verges on hysterical as she pounds the point that it did not exist.

She continues to pound the point, similarly, that she is a "good mother," a "good person." She is actually very unsure of that herself, but by forcing others to agree with her (like when someone uses the tiresome "know what I mean?" at the end of a sentence to force agreement,) she gains validation that her viewpoint is the "right" viewpoint.

I think bringing your underage children along poolside when you meet your lover and have him roll around on you and you roll around on him within their vision is just about as far from being a "good mother" as is possible, and equally far from being a "good person."

The boasting of her good motherhood should not be coming from her, but from her daughters, in order to have any credibility or believability. Her continually forcing them to validate her as was seen in Finding Sarah is an enormous failing in my opinion. "Good" mothers don't seek the validation of their children to assert their "goodness."
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  #558  
Old 08-02-2011, 02:32 PM
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Originally Posted by NotAPretender View Post
She's not "admitting" she's a good person/good mother, she's boasting about it.

I find that when a person has to boast about such things, they generally are trying to convince themselves by convincing others.

It's trying to force another person to validate that of which you are unsure or refuse to face. That's why it's so crucial to call out the lies and untruths as they happen, and why the "suitcase of money" in the NOTW scandal is so critical to observe. Sarah continues to insist that it simply did not happen, the valise of money. It did, it's on tape, and she was the one walking out with it. Yet she verges on hysterical as she pounds the point that it did not exist.

She continues to pound the point, similarly, that she is a "good mother," a "good person." She is actually very unsure of that herself, but by forcing others to agree with her (like when someone uses the tiresome "know what I mean?" at the end of a sentence to force agreement,) she gains validation that her viewpoint is the "right" viewpoint.

I think bringing your underage children along poolside when you meet your lover and have him roll around on you and you roll around on him within their vision is just about as far from being a "good mother" as is possible, and equally far from being a "good person."

The boasting of her good motherhood should not be coming from her, but from her daughters, in order to have any credibility or believability. Her continually forcing them to validate her as was seen in Finding Sarah is an enormous failing in my opinion. "Good" mothers don't seek the validation of their children to assert their "goodness."
Hear, hear! You said it all.
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  #559  
Old 08-02-2011, 02:58 PM
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Originally Posted by ghost_night554 View Post
Some of you may just bite my head off for this but aren't we being just a tad bit harsh here? Am I the only one who feels sorry for her? I mean yes she's screwed up many times and yes she's been bailed out by Andrew. Honestly I don't think she has a personality disorder. Do I think she has a need for approval yes probably do I think she's changed? Well if we're all being honest here we don't personally know Sarah and maybe she has changed. I mean the way I see it is change doesn't happen overnight it's gradual there are days where it's easy and days which you find it harder. I think was it the View I watched last night I can't remember and she said that the whole her mom being cruel thing was taken so out of context so the Hello magazine interview is not the first time she has said this.. Which honestly I believe her because trust me I have said so many things in my life that have just come out completely wrong especially if the lingo isn't the same between the people communicating. I have huge problems with control so watching Sarah's show actually led me to learn alot alot about myself and so to me I don't see the show as something that was not taken seriously. I dunno why but at the end I felt she was getting better. I don't think she's perfect nor do I think she'll ever be especially in the public eye for so many years I think it's extremely difficult to go back to the way you used to be. I think it'll be a constant struggle for her. I do however think she should continue therapy I think she could only benefit from that. I think the only part that bugged me is her saying that the tape from May 2010 was taken out of context which honestly how was it taken out of context you said what you said you used Andrew's name that's the only part I do not understand. Besides that I feel we're being a little over judgmental. I understand this is a message board and we are allowed to voice our opinions but I believe unless you are in that person's shoes you cannot fully judge them. Also I really don't see her using Bea and Eugenie. Heck I saw nothing wrong with her admitting she's a good person and a good mother. Honestly it's not Sarah has murdered anyone for Christ sake and if we want to point fingers I'd blame Andrew for constantly bailing her out.

Sorry for my enormously long rant but had to get that out.
Your compassion is commendable however ..... Sarah is 50/51 and I have the impression that you are much, much younger. She has had plenty of opportunity to to see herself realistically and she refuses to do so and in fact keeps doing things which are NOT in her own self interest It is far past time for Sarah to grow up.
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  #560  
Old 08-02-2011, 03:29 PM
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Originally Posted by Princess of Durham View Post
Your compassion is commendable however ..... Sarah is 50/51 and I have the impression that you are much, much younger. She has had plenty of opportunity to to see herself realistically and she refuses to do so and in fact keeps doing things which are NOT in her own self interest It is far past time for Sarah to grow up.
Thank you and your right I am much younger then her. I just turned 20

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Originally Posted by NotAPretender View Post
She's not "admitting" she's a good person/good mother, she's boasting about it.

I find that when a person has to boast about such things, they generally are trying to convince themselves by convincing others.

It's trying to force another person to validate that of which you are unsure or refuse to face. That's why it's so crucial to call out the lies and untruths as they happen, and why the "suitcase of money" in the NOTW scandal is so critical to observe. Sarah continues to insist that it simply did not happen, the valise of money. It did, it's on tape, and she was the one walking out with it. Yet she verges on hysterical as she pounds the point that it did not exist.

She continues to pound the point, similarly, that she is a "good mother," a "good person." She is actually very unsure of that herself, but by forcing others to agree with her (like when someone uses the tiresome "know what I mean?" at the end of a sentence to force agreement,) she gains validation that her viewpoint is the "right" viewpoint.

I think bringing your underage children along poolside when you meet your lover and have him roll around on you and you roll around on him within their vision is just about as far from being a "good mother" as is possible, and equally far from being a "good person."

The boasting of her good motherhood should not be coming from her, but from her daughters, in order to have any credibility or believability. Her continually forcing them to validate her as was seen in Finding Sarah is an enormous failing in my opinion. "Good" mothers don't seek the validation of their children to assert their "goodness."
I see what your trying to say I particularly agree with your argument on the whole NOTW scandal and the part I've highlighted. Though I don't don't doubt Bea and Eugenie love Sarah I got the small impression from Bea's convo with Sarah on the last episode that living with her is very difficult for them. They do seem to want to support their mother but I got the impression that it's getting harder for them and it's wearing them down. No doubt I'd understand them completely. I got a headache just watching some of the episodes and I mean no disrespect to Sarah.

What I do think needs to happen though is for Sarah to continue counseling especially in the area about money. Cause IMO right now that's her biggest problem. She can't allow the money to run out again. After that then she can deal with her addiction to approval. She needs to lay low for a while before she jumps into anything huge.
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