expat
Aristocracy
- Joined
- Jun 4, 2011
- Messages
- 184
- City
- Lisbon
- Country
- Portugal
Your thoughts and insight are very much appreciated Alex as well as being very informative, thank you.
If I remember correctly Sarah wanted to live on the base and be a navy wife but the security was against the idea so she was forced into the isolation of BP without the support network of the other wives whose husbands were serving with Andrew.
Thankyou for that Diarist. I think the same way as you. I think if Andrew hadn't been a Prince she wouldn't have bothered. But I still wonder what Andrew saw and why he didn't see what others like Paddy McNally seemed to see.
The interview that they did prior to the wedding came across to me of two people who very much wanted to live on the base or for her to live there when he was away - my understanding is that that is what they both wanted.
I also didn't realize that the proper title was Madam. I actually thought that ahem... them kinds of Madam were called that these days. Shows what I know. The more I've been thinking about Sarah's title is that perhaps The Duchess in our common ordinary language is used is because until Andrew remarries, she is the only one with the title? We all mess up on the "proper" usages. Even as a married woman, I cringe when my name isn't used in an address. Mrs. John Smith gives me the shivers. Its the changing times. I do however see Sarah using The Duchess of York as a way of acclaiming importance that she really has no right to. It is that usage that tells me that she needs to let go and find something that can be connected to her, that she can claim as her own. She has it but hasn't really done much to use it. ?
On a side note and kind of an amusing thought to me is that on the subject of Sarah being called the Duchess of York, perhaps in her own private moments, she's cackling and saying "fix THAT you ornery men in grey!"
She never really did like them did she?
I've been rereading Sarah's "My Story," and she tells in there about having a job, paying for renting a room and not being able to pay her parking tickets and wearing skirts that a friend of hers discarded. She admits that she spent her income on jazz clubs and restaurants. So this inability to budget was there before she ever got involved with Andrew. She was also receiving an allowance from her father at the time.
I can imagine the Queen and DofE being so upset the title means a lot to the Queen and to see it used in such a way must have been upsetting.
What I do think is true is that if the Duke of York HAD remarried, and particularly if he had re-married reasonably quickly, it really would have made Sarah's misusage of the title look very wrong indeed: people would soon have realised that you can't have TWO 'Duchesses of York'.
We've heard endlessly from Sarah in interviews etc etc but from memory, the Duke of York has mostly confined his public utterances to occasions during his Royal duties etc. Had he spoken often on a personal level, I think that he would soon have shown that intellectually, he is no great shakes!!!
I don't detect the yearning for the past in Andrew that Sarah keeps putting on display every time she is in front of a journalist of any type.
I don't think it is a surprise to Andrew he got pictured frolicking he seems to have been able to have plenty of holidays without being snapped so I am always suspicious when suddenly he shows himself in such a way.
I read the book "The Queen and Di" and it described how Sarah was always the poor relation among her friends. I don't know why renting a room and having a job is somehow a deprivation, but I think wearing discarded clothes of friends might likely have left an imprint on her psyche. She reminds me of Jackie O., who grew up financially insecure and ended up constantly believing that there was never enough. As if she would never be secure.
Based on Sarah's adult life prior to marrying Andrew it doesn't seem like her parents had any expectation that she might one day have to contribute to her own financial support. If their primary expectation was that Sarah marry a nice boy from the right sort of family then I wouldn't find it hard to believe that no one ever bothered to teach her even the very basics with regard to money, (for example the fact that ideally you earn more than you spend).
We've heard endlessly from Sarah in interviews etc etc but from memory, the Duke of York has mostly confined his public utterances to occasions during his Royal duties etc. Had he spoken often on a personal level, I think that he would soon have shown that intellectually, he is no great shakes!!!
In the light of AristoCat's comments, could I apologise for not making it clearer in what I wrote above - I was talking generally about [my assessement] of] the Duke of York's capabilities, and did not mean my comments to be taken as a comment on his failure to talk about Sarah.
You bring up some very interesting points I think. I think what we could do is put it into a generational aspect and perhaps it would make more sense. As I grew up and was educated not that many years before Sarah did, I can kind of give some input into this. Its true that Sarah grew up in a class of society a bit above how I would classify my upbringing although I did attend private schools (US), I would think that our parent's mindsets would be very much similar. That, and the fact that a woman would still attend a "finishing school" give us some clues.
Mothers raising daughters during that era were still, for the majority, stay at home moms who never entered the work force unless it was a necessity for survival. Although the idea of finishing school was not in our vocabulary, girls took "Home Ec" (cooking, sewing, grocery shopping and budgeting an allowance were the rote), whereas boys took "shop" classes. If I had a dime for every time my mother assessed a groom at a wedding by saying "He makes good money", I'd be vacationing on Nekker Island for sure! (of course I always wondered too what money *wasn't* good. Sheesh). When we look at this social economic climate, a woman didn't need to know high finances. She had a husband for that. Divorce during that time also was still spoken of in a whisper and in Hollywood gossip columns. Then so many things changed practically overnight in the 60s and 70s.
By the time my children were in their teenage years, divorce was a common thing and I remember reading and being surprised that only 16% of women were actually stay at home moms. With my own "nice boy that made good money" out of the picture, I can honestly say that, like Sarah, I had no idea how to manage money either! Necessity and common sense are good teachers though.
So in the long run perhaps Sarah didn't/doesn't have a clue about money and finances but I would think that she cannot use this as an excuse. One may not have the foggiest idea of how to use a fire extinguisher but when the house is on fire, you learn how to use one really quick. You learn what happened that started the fire and learn from that mistake. To set a fire again by making the same mistakes and still not know how to use the extinguisher is sheer stupidity.
In my humble opinion,' Major Ron' [with considerably less talent than a 'hired assasin'!!] was nevertheless also pretty adept at getting others to pay his bills! As 'Polo Manager' to the heir to the throne, Major Ron was something of an intermediary between The Prince of Wales and the weathy Polo patrons who clamoured for Charles to play in their teams. Prince Charles received no salary from these patrons, but [although Charles had his own polo ponies and was also 'mounted' (as the saying goes) by the Queen], a lot of his incidental costs were also taken over by the patrons. And so far as I could see, there was a fair amount of 'wining and dining' of Major Ron, as people sought to ingratiate themselves with him, thereby hopefully lubricating an easy path to the Prince of Wales, because Major Ron was effectively 'gatekeeper' to Prince Charles where Polo was concerned. And so there was a fair amount of helicopter rides and 5 star hotel accommodation provided for Major Ron from there Patrons!
I read the book "The Queen and Di" and it described how Sarah was always the poor relation among her friends. I don't know why renting a room and having a job is somehow a deprivation, but I think wearing discarded clothes of friends might likely have left an imprint on her psyche. She reminds me of Jackie O., who grew up financially insecure and ended up constantly believing that there was never enough. As if she would never be secure.
Where I do think Sarah might have felt the 'poor relation' was in her Paddy McNally days. Many of the people she was mixing with at that point were 'seriously rich' and with NO shortage of ready cash [compare that with the average British aristocrat!!] In the world of Grand Prix racing, the men [tax exile team owners and racing drivers] were often spectacularly rich, and as often or not, their tall, blonde, thin girlfriends were models, and earning a model's salary. Sarah's secretarial salary was not likely to go far in that sort of world, and although I understand that McNally covered her board and lodging and nightclubbing whilst she lived with him in Switzerland and also picked up the tab for Sarah's travel etc, I do not think he gave her a 'spending allowance' [he was far too canny with his money - indeed the real reason many of us suspected that he did not remarry was not just for the sake of his sons (the reason often quoted in the press) but to keep his fortune intact.] And I daresay that she had to buy her own clothes, with perhaps the odd 'treat dress' from McNally..
Once again, a truly educational insight into what Sarah's life growing up was like and where she comes from.
This right here shows that the apple doesn't fall very far from the tree when you really think about it. Isn't this exactly how Sarah was "wining and dining" the Fake Sheik in the Cash for Access sting? Or at least, very similar. Perhaps this could explain why Sarah doesn't feel she's done anything wrong. Its a way of doing things she's grown up with and has been exposed to over and over again.
Meadow said:In the beginning they were clearly in love. But as we know it didn't stay that way.
I'm not sure they fell out of love. I think Sarah fell out of love with being a member of the Royal Family.
Nothing I can point to to back up my opinion, just a feeling I have.