A Wife for Prince Andrew, Duke of York

[Jacknch]

It seems significant to me that neither Andrew nor Sarah have remarried or formed long lasting relationships with other people. I know that they have done a good job in remaining on excellent terms which initially was to ensure a stable upbringing to their children, but even so, the girls are now grown up and Andrew and Sarah were still in their 30's when they divorced. Perhaps they are the loves of each other's lives and after the difficulties of the early 90s the only option at the time was to divorce.

 

[KittyAtlanta]

There may be a remarriage in the future, but not until HM and HRHPhilip are gone.

 

[sliver_bic]

From what I have read, Andrew has dated a great many women since the divorce! (Over 50 was the count I read). I heard that he's often out in the London clubs as well.

It's true that he hasn't formed a lasting relationship, but one reason may be that he was burned so badly the first time (let's face it, Sarah made him a laughingstock in front of the whole world) that he's simply unwilling to risk it.

I think the best thing he could do for himself is sever all contact with her, have her move out, and let it be known that he will not be responsible for her debts. As long as he allows it, she will cling to him and rely on him to bail her out.

I realize she is the mother of his children, but those children are adults now and he should concentrate on his own life.

I think it's obvious that she wears the pants in that relationship. Divorced or not he's shown that she can do as she pleases. Maybe he is waiting for the chance to remarry her but he doesn't look good the way he's jumped to bail her out in the last few years.

 

[muriel]

I think it's obvious that she wears the pants in that relationship. Divorced or not he's shown that she can do as she pleases. Maybe he is waiting for the chance to remarry her but he doesn't look good the way he's jumped to bail her out in the last few years.

Not sure I understand why he needs to remarry her, and take on all that comes with it.

 

[KittyAtlanta]

Not sure I understand why he needs to remarry her, and take on all that comes with it.

Did someone say he needed to remarry her?

 

[sliver_bic]

Did someone say he needed to remarry her?

Some would argue (not saying myself but some) that, considering Sarahs inability to control herself that he does. Ultimately if they both want to remarry there is the possibility that Charles or William might say do it if only to bring Sarah back under the control of the crown.

 

[Russophile]

Some would argue (not saying myself but some) that, considering Sarahs inability to control herself that he does. Ultimately if they both want to remarry there is the possibility that Charles or William might say do it if only to bring Sarah back under the control of the crown.

But how would they control her? She clearly is her worst enemy--unless she's grown up and will stop beating herself up--and when she gets depressed or down all the bad habits come out and the all sorts of things could happen.
Were I the crown, I wouldn't even try.

 

[sliver_bic]

But how would they control her? She clearly is her worst enemy--unless she's grown up and will stop beating herself up--and when she gets depressed or down all the bad habits come out and the all sorts of things could happen.
Were I the crown, I wouldn't even try.

The problem is that Andrew, short of being cut off himself, will never let her fall. Normally that's the way to teach someone who's been such a pain but as long as he's around that won't happen. Damned if they do. Damned if they don't, apparently.

 

[Catherine Helvin]

I think the best thing he could do for himself is sever all contact with her, have her move out, and let it be known that he will not be responsible for her debts. As long as he allows it, she will cling to him and rely on him to bail her out.

I realize she is the mother of his children, but those children are adults now and he should concentrate on his own life.

Sever all contact with Sarah? Eeeh, that's a bit harsh, Mirabel. They obviously still have feelings for each other and one day, their daughters might give them grandchildren. It would be best for the grandchildren if Andrew and Sarah were remarried to each other, or at least getting on as well now as they have done for the past 18 years.

 

[NotAPretender]

.... It would be best for the grandchildren if Andrew and Sarah were remarried to each other....

Why?

I mean, I can almost buy into the idea that Andrew and Sarah would be better married to each other to facilitate the raising of their own children, but - grandchildren? Are you anticipating that the grandchildren are going to be living with and being raised by Andrew and Sarah?

Seriously - why? Unless it's a bid for Sarah to remain funded, underwritten, fed & watered by Andrew....but really, grandchildren, that's a bit of a stretch.

 

[PrincessMolly]

Sever all contact with Sarah? Eeeh, that's a bit harsh, Mirabel. They obviously still have feelings for each other and one day, their daughters might give them grandchildren. It would be best for the grandchildren if Andrew and Sarah were remarried to each other, or at least getting on as well now as they have done for the past 18 years.

Andrew and Sarah seemed to have proven they can co-exist divorce. They lived in the same home for years, to allow the girls to have one home. They have always had one of the most civil divorces possible. I'd not be opposed to see them remarry if they chose, but I don't see how it would be 'best' for grandkids. Many grandchildren have grandparents who are divorced, and have to split their holidays, even more than usual as there is also the father's family. I don't see Andrew and Sarah not being able to continue to peacefully co-exist for the sake of their family.

 

[kakieanne]

I remember an interview that Andrew gave around the time of his 50th birthday. He basically said that remarriage was not in the cards that they were both happy with the relationship the way it was...or something to that effect.

The relationship that they have now basically gives both of them the best of two worlds. Sarah can live like a royal with none of the responsibilities and Andrew has his family and the freedom to date whoever he pleases. They seem quite happy with the arrangement.

 

[Mirabel]

The relationship that they have now basically gives both of them the best of two worlds. Sarah can live like a royal with none of the responsibilities and Andrew has his family and the freedom to date whoever he pleases. They seem quite happy with the arrangement.

Well, yes, but the point is that Sarah should not be living like a royal since she is one no longer.
This is what provokes so much criticism of her, and of her enabler, Andrew.
IMO, they are viewed by much of the public as parasites who only take and give little back.

I don't think Andrew would be regarded quite so badly if he cut Sarah out of his life, which is why I advocated that he do so.

 

[sliver_bic]

Well, yes, but the point is that Sarah should not be living like a royal since she is one no longer.
This is what provokes so much criticism of her, and of her enabler, Andrew.
IMO, they are viewed by much of the public as parasites who only take and give little back.

I don't think Andrew would be regarded quite so badly if he cut Sarah out of his life, which is why I advocated that he do so.

He can't.
There are plenty of people who have remained civil, friendly and even loving with their ex but this is beyond anything I've seen. He's tied to her in such a deep way that I'm not sure he'd know how to live without her in his life.

 

[Mirabel]

He can't.
There are plenty of people who have remained civil, friendly and even loving with their ex but this is beyond anything I've seen. He's tied to her in such a deep way that I'm not sure he'd know how to live without her in his life.

True; there are some who find this romantic, but I think it's terribly unhealthy.

 

[nascarlucy]

Many couples after they get a divorce aren't civil to each other. It seems like Prince Andrew and Sarah basically have been civil towards each other. I don't think that you could live in the same house after a divorce if you weren't civil towards each other. If they are both happy with the arrangments that they have, who are we to judge them, then.

 

[sliver_bic]

Many couples after they get a divorce aren't civil to each other. It seems like Prince Andrew and Sarah basically have been civil towards each other. I don't think that you could live in the same house after a divorce if you weren't civil towards each other. If they are both happy with the arrangments that they have, who are we to judge them, then.

I think you're mistaken what civility is. Civility would be acting in a respectful manner toward one another, at times despite their differences. This relationship is way past that or just about anything else.

Plenty of couples still love one another but simply can't be married because it impedes on their independence so they choose to live apart but remain friends who hold each other in lofty regard. They respect each other and show it in their actions. This relationship is somewhere way beyond that. With his unflinching loyalty, despite her repeated moments of idiocy, Andrew is beyond lovesick. She has him under her heel, whether through ownership of his heart or something a bit more disturbing, she holds him firmly in place.

 

[rmay286]

This relationship is somewhere way beyond that. With his unflinching loyalty, despite her repeated moments of idiocy, Andrew is beyond lovesick. She has him under her heel, whether through ownership of his heart or something a bit more disturbing, she holds him firmly in place.

I'm just not one of those people who finds Andrew lovesick, nor do I think Sarah 'has the goods' on him. I think he is just committed to Sarah because he sees her as family.

Besides, without Sarah, I think Andrew would be a rather lonely person. He has all those friends in high places, but do they really know him or really care about him beyond what he can offer them? All his siblings are married and he isn't said to be that close to them anyway. Why would Andrew cut ties with Sarah when she is probably his closest friend and the one person who knows him best?

 

[sliver_bic]

I'm just not one of those people who finds Andrew lovesick, nor do I think Sarah 'has the goods' on him. I think he is just committed to Sarah because he sees her as family.

Besides, without Sarah, I think Andrew would be a rather lonely person. He has all those friends in high places, but do they really know him or really care about him beyond what he can offer them? All his siblings are married and he isn't said to be that close to them anyway. Why would Andrew cut ties with Sarah when she is probably his closest friend and the one person who knows him best?

Bit unhealthy though. Not because of his connection with her, which I would agree with you on, I mentioned the possibility of him not being able to live (i.e. function properly) without her. And normally, I'd wouldn't complain, as many people aren't lucky enough to have that person in their life that so understands the way they tick but Sarah has done some things that abuse that trust and he's kept walking along.

So maybe it isn't something negative that she has on him but she's certainly taken advantage of his loyalty to her. Arrogant or not, he doesn't blink an eye to help her, even when it puts him in a world of hurt in the process and she knows it. Realistically the least cynical way I can see this relationship is two lonely individuals who found their soulmate but neither grew up properly.

 

[Mermaid1962]

Yes, I think that the world might be a lonely place for Andrew. He seems to have friends who offer him "fun", but does he have any who stick around when things get tough. Sarah, for all the scrapes she's gotten into, won't say a bad word against him. These two have been through a lot together.

Besides, without Sarah, I think Andrew would be a rather lonely person. He has all those friends in high places, but do they really know him or really care about him beyond what he can offer them?...Why would Andrew cut ties with Sarah when she is probably his closest friend and the one person who knows him best?

 

[Moonmaiden23]

Prince Andrew even before his marriage was never taken seriously. He was Randy Andy the Playboy Prince. With the exception of the brief time he was regarded as a war hero after the Falklands conflict, he got little respect from press and public.

Sarah is the only person in his life besides his children who puts the guy on a pedestal. She might have been a bad wife and an even lousier Royal but she seems to worship him...I read that there are more photos of him in her rooms than of her children.

In return, he protects and cares for her.."enables" her if you will.

As unhealthy as it appears to outsiders, they seem to love and accept one another unconditionally.

I doubt that either will ever remarry or cut the other out of their lives. Sarah said recently that she and Andrew and their children are a unit who will always, always be there for one another. This "us against the world" siege mentality might be what prevents either of them moving on.

 

[Mermaid1962]

I remember when Prince Andrew sprayed photographers with paint--I think that it was in Los Angeles--in 1984. That sort of killed his post-1982 honeymoon with the public. Then his stocks went up again when he married Sarah, because the two of them seemed to be obviously in love. In fact, they literally clung to each other, being VERY affectionate during the Canadian tour in 1987. For quite a while, Sarah got the blame for their decisions such as leaving Beatrice behind in the UK during the 1988 tour of Australia and having their family photos in Hello! Andrew was pretty much out of sight during this time because he was in the Navy, which Sarah blamed for the failure of her marriage.

I think that it's a combination of factors that keeps them together. Perhaps Andrew feels responsible for Sarah because he wasn't around while she was trying to adapt to Palace life, and then because his salary wasn't very high when they divorced. Plus there's the fact that she's never publicly "dumped" him. It's almost like the separation and divorce was simply a legal thing and didn't happen emotionally.

I would be shocked if Andrew took up with another lady long-term and married her. He said in an interview that his regret was that he wasn't able to hold his marriage together like his parents did. So having failed once at marriage, I don't think he'd take another chance at it.

As unhealthy as it appears to outsiders, they seem to love and accept one another unconditionally.

I doubt that either will ever either remarry or cut the other out of their lives. Sarah said recently that she and Andrew and their children are a unit who will always, always be there for one another. This "us against the world" siege mentality might be what prevents either of them moving on.

 

[Iluvbertie]

I remember when Prince Andrew sprayed photographers with paint--I think that it was in Los Angeles--in 1984. That sort of killed his post-1982 honeymoon with the public. Then his stocks went up again when he married Sarah, because the two of them seemed to be obviously in love. In fact, they literally clung to each other, being VERY affectionate during the Canadian tour in 1987. For quite a while, Sarah got the blame for their decisions such as leaving Beatrice behind in the UK during the 1988 tour of Australia and having their family photos in Hello! Andrew was pretty much out of sight during this time because he was in the Navy, which Sarah blamed for the failure of her marriage.

I think that it's a combination of factors that keeps them together. Perhaps Andrew feels responsible for Sarah because he wasn't around while she was trying to adapt to Palace life, and then because his salary wasn't very high when they divorced. Plus there's the fact that she's never publicly "dumped" him. It's almost like the separation and divorce was simply a legal thing and didn't happen emotionally.

I would be shocked if Andrew took up with another lady long-term and married her. He said in an interview that his regret was that he wasn't able to hold his marriage together like his parents did. So having failed once at marriage, I don't think he'd take another chance at it.

I see Andrew and Sarah as really close to being a de facto couple now rather than a legal one.

They are soulmates, know it but know that marriage isn't the way to go for them.

 

[NotAPretender]

Prince Andrew even before his marriage was never taken seriously. He was Randy Andy the Playboy Prince. With the exception of the brief time he was regarded as a war hero after the Falklands conflict, he got little respect from press and public.

Sarah is the only person in his life besides his children who puts the guy on a pedestal. She might have been a bad wife and an even lousier Royal but she seems to worship him...I read that there are more photos of him in her rooms than of her children.

In return, he protects and cares for her.."enables" her if you will.

As unhealthy as it appears to outsiders, they seem to love and accept one another unconditionally.

I doubt that either will ever either remarry or cut the other out of their lives. Sarah said recently that she and Andrew and their children are a unit who will always, always be there for one another. This "us against the world" siege mentality might be what prevents either of them moving on.

Wow. That's the most rational and sensible post I've seen on the "why" of this.

(I still sort of think they hold information on each other that could be explosive - but your post gives an alternate or additional rationale for why they don't release that on the other. And I still think it's codependency to an unhealthy level; I completely scorn the schmoopie theories.)

 

[rmay286]

I see Andrew and Sarah as really close to being a de facto couple now rather than a legal one.

They are soulmates, know it but know that marriage isn't the way to go for them.

I think Andrew and Sarah are still sort of in "limbo" right now. As long as the girls live at Royal Lodge when school is out, they can say that they're living together as a family unit. But once even one of the girls marries, the family dynamic will change. Also, things will be different if/when Andrew stops working as trade ambassador - in the future, he may start to spend more time in England.

I think it's true that Andrew and Sarah know that marriage won't work and that Sarah isn't suited for royal life. I think there's more to it, though - I think it's easier for them to be friends than deal with the multiple reasons for their divorce, and it's also easier for them to stay officially single, instead of making a firm commitment to each other. At some point, though, they're going to have to deal with their situation. I don't see Andrew and Sarah living together 10 years from now and still claiming that it's temporary or just to keep the family together. I also, however, don't see Andrew and Sarah with other people 10 years from now. I think they're friends at the moment, and not a couple--but I don't think it will (or can) stay that way forever.

At some point, we may see something reminiscent of the Charles-Camilla situation during the late 1990s/early 2000s--where Andrew and Sarah are tacitly treated as a couple, even in the absence of any official change in their relationship.

 

[sliver_bic]

At some point, we may see something reminiscent of the Charles-Camilla situation during the late 1990s/early 2000s--where Andrew and Sarah are tacitly treated as a couple, even in the absence of any official change in their relationship.

I like where you're going with the Camilla comparison. If they can rehabilitate their images (which would take a while) it could be possible for them to get remarried or at least be "officially" together without the issues that come from such a relationship now.

 

[NotAPretender]

I like where you're going with the Camilla comparison. If they can rehabilitate their images (which would take a while) it could be possible for them to get remarried or at least be "officially" together without the issues that come from such a relationship now.

Eh - see - and this is where the difference lies - Sarah has been so steeped in greed that has been shown so nakedly. Camilla hasn't shown that level of lip smacking grabby-ness. It's take a hugely long time for Camilla to gain even a small level of acceptance, and that's only because she has: worked; hasn't mouthed off to the press; hasn't shown up loaded or fallen out of nightclubs at the early morning hours (who is still nightclubbing in their fifties? That's sad; ) and has, even if not as determinedly as The Princess Anne, fulfilled obligations. Huge contrast to Sarah. Sarah has never shown a willingness to apply herself to the job that is being a Royal: just a willingness to grasp its perks with both hands. I doubt that will go unremembered.

Unless she spends the next ten years actually doing what she should have been doing during the ten years that she was Royal: working and keeping her nose clean; I can't see her as the stuff of Royal wivery.

What she does NOW and over the next ten years will determine her future. I don't think she has the capacity to perform as a Royal wife even to a second son who will be sliding ever further down the succession lists. It's just not in her. She's been on the Royal scene for two and a half decades now, and is no closer to behaving as Royal wife material than she was in 1986.

A wife for Andrew? Sarah could be it - when Andrew ceases to be Royal and his obligations to the Firm are ended.

 

[Mermaid1962]

For the first couple of years that Sarah was a member of the BRF, she actually did well and was fairly popular. In fact, I remember a time when she was seen as a healthier, more "authentic" foil to Diana--who was becoming increasingly sophisticated in dress and make-up and getting more thin. It was around this time, as well, that the Waleses were beginning to look more stiff in public and serious rumours about their marriage were starting. Sarah and Andrew, at this time, were seen as the truly loving couple and the fun, relaxed couple. The first time I remember Sarah being seriously criticized was when she 1) didn't bring Beatrice with her to Australia, and 2) didn't come back to her baby when the official tour was over but instead followed her husband from port to port while he was on naval duty. Up to that point, she was seen as taking to royal duties like a "duck to water", being cheerful and kind during her appearances.

As for Andrew no longer being a Royal, that's not going to happen. Even if he retired from public life--which would be a shame at his comparatively young age and physical fitness--he would still be HRH The Prince Andrew The Duke of York.

It's just not in her. She's been on the Royal scene for two and a half decades now, and is no closer to behaving as Royal wife material than she was in 1986....A wife for Andrew? Sarah could be it - when Andrew ceases to be Royal and his obligations to the Firm are ended.

 

[Moonmaiden23]

The criticism of Sarah as a mother when Beatrice was a newborn angered and disgusted me because it was so unfair. It was Andrew's idea for Sarah to join him, and the woman was obviously desperate for some down time with the husband she never got to see. It was just another excuse for the Press, which had come disillusioned with her, to stick it to her.

I mean...just because Diana toted William along to Australia(she later admitted that this was NOT a good idea) it meant that all other Royal mothers were bad if they chose not to do the same??

The amazing thing is that Andrew and Sarah's children seem to be among the most well adjusted youngsters in the Gotha. Except for their dress sense, they are almost beyond reproach. They almost act like dowagers in fact, and unlike the Wales boys they have never embarrassed their parents or the Crown.

Sarah has her serious defects, but she deserves at least part of the credit for that.

 

[Mermaid1962]

Agreed. Sarah, the so-called "vulgar" one, was actually following royal practice; but she was criticized for it none-the-less.

I mean...just because Diana toted William along to Australia(she later admitted that this was NOT a good idea) it meant that all other Royal mothers were bad if they chose not to do the same??